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Why cant I finish with my gf?

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Old 03-03-2007, 08:01 AM   #1
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: somewhere
Posts: 2
Why cant I finish with my gf?

Hi ppl, first time here. I'm a guy btw

I've been having a sexual probelm. I cant seem to come when i'm doing things with my gf (bj and hj). I mean when she is doing it, it feels great, i have alot of sensation. But i'm not finsishing and she is getting really tired, and she is starting to blame herself and she thinks that she is not good enough. I've been trying to call her today, and she is really down about it.

It's not that at all, i'm very attracted to her and it feels great, but she thinks im lying because i rarely finish.

As far as masturbation goes, it usually takes me awhile to do it myself too, but i do usually finish when i do it myself.

So is it that i have too much stamina? if theres such a thing.

Any tips are welcome, because I dont want her to feel inadequate. She really wants to do it for me, cause i easily do it for her.


(P.S. we dont have sex, we're both waiting till after marriage)

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Old 03-03-2007, 10:24 AM   #2
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 317
JustDave4now HB User
Re: Why cant I finish with my gf?

First, You are not alone.

There are many men who have this problem and it's always blamed on anxiety. you are going to be told to Just relax. Let it happen, don't worry about it and it will. This is the fluff talk.

Being like this myself, what would I give to have the opposite problem.
My wife also gets discouraged and feels she Needs to perform this Finial act or the encounter Failed.

I believe personally there are two types of men. those that Finish even when they don't want to Just like an automatic transmission, go faster and its going to happen. and

Then there is those that make themselves finish Manually, like shifting gears in a car to climb a hill. Its work and getting out of third is a monster.

what I would give to be one of those Automatics and Just Slide along

First thing First, find out if you have Something messing with your gears. that means check up. Medications, Hormones, bunch of Stuff.

On the bright side us Manuals can go for hours. that's got to count for something.

Last edited by JustDave4now; 03-03-2007 at 01:59 PM.

Old 03-04-2007, 06:20 AM   #3
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Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 1,991
JinL HB UserJinL HB User
Re: Why cant I finish with my gf?

Many guys can not get orgasm with oral sex.

Old 03-05-2007, 04:48 AM   #4
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 1
kozzman HB User
Re: Why cant I finish with my gf?

im the same way dude, your'e definately not alone. sometimes i can finish other times i just cant. this really brings my girlfriend down too, its just hard what to say because you cant explain it to them, they always blame themselves and then thats something else to contend with when your supposed to be enjoying things.

Old 03-05-2007, 07:26 PM   #5
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: somewhere
Posts: 2
Re: Why cant I finish with my gf?

thanks for the replies. its good to know ur not alone.

But i have a follow up question. If i totally gave up masturbation, would that allow me to orgasm easier?

Yea, i know its tough..but its something i'm working on now actually.

Old 03-07-2007, 10:02 PM   #6
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Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Edmonton, Alberta Canada
Posts: 274
Perry2 HB User
Re: Why cant I finish with my gf?

I think you would be more primed by less masturbation. Within reason, but getting yourself off within 24 hours of sex with a partner is going to put a slight drag on things. The same day would be worse of course.
Depends on your age as well, since that determines how often you can go in an hour, a day, or a week.
How long you have been with that partner? After the 1000th BJ or so I kind of stopped enjoying them except as a bit of foreplay. After the 5,000th time you have had sex with the same person it isn't fireworks unless you really work at making it different.
Also depends on the arousal level of your partner. Doing it for the sake of doing it versus doing because you are extremely hot for it are different. Pheremones and other subtle physical cues tell you your partner is aroused without the words being spoken. If she isn't really hot at the time, but just does it because you have initiated things, your level of arousal will be lower. Maybe she isn't as wet as is comfortable, or gets too wet. When you are first with someone you find really attractive, finishing, and finishing fast is pretty easy for almost anyone, but after a while, anything lest than optimal conditions can put a damper on things.
What you are describing, to me, sounds like you are letting your focus wander a bit. If you are hard and have good sensation then I think you are letting your attention get away from your partner. Think about it. Masturbation is all about focus. A hand is a poor subsitute for a woman's body so the brain is doing most of the work to get you off. With a partner, but not the same intense focus, the brain isn't helping you at all.

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