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Relax during oral? It's difficult

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Old 07-18-2012, 04:42 PM   #1
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Relax during oral? It's difficult

So I'm 100% comfortable giving oral to my GF and she sings my praises a lot and I love to give to her.

But she went down on me for the first time [my first time getting it] and I don't know, I didn't feel much and what I did feel wasn't sexy or a turn on. I couldn't see what she was doing but I knew I was hard. I felt her doing deep throat and all the "standard" bj stuff but I wasn't turned on really. Hard to get wood when you're not aroused you know?

I want some advice as to what I can think of to just relax and enjoy it.

She is getting resentful that she can't make me come but I can easily make her come. When I go down on her it's for an extended time and I know exactly how to tease or directly please her so making her come is a lot of fun for me but she feels our sexual relationship is just me giving and giving and she can't please me fully.


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Old 07-18-2012, 04:52 PM   #2
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Re: Relax during oral? It's difficult

Sounds like the two of you have an incredibly loving relationship and only want to help each other feel fulfilled. Best advice I have is to stop thinking or "trying" to do anything. Breathe, know that you are blessed to have a woman who wants to satisfy you and allow your brain to perceive the sensations.

Old 07-20-2012, 02:45 AM   #3
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Re: Relax during oral? It's difficult

don't get into the mindset of thinking that you have to receive oral even though you're not into it. if you're not enjoying it, i say its just not for you, but if you want to continue getting it then just relax, try to let your mind go free. sounds like you like thinking about whats going on, but you might benefit from just relaxing. maybe a hand job would feel better?

Old 07-20-2012, 07:22 PM   #4
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Re: Relax during oral? It's difficult

well its hard to believe but there are actually other men who don't go crazy over receiving oral? i agree with the other posts...i suppose at some point i had a talk with my SO and told her that I liked the intamcy of receiving oral and hoped she would keep doing it in the future but it was almost impossible for me to orgasm from it. i actually feel like an outcast because the societal norm seems to be that receiving oral is the greatest thing in the world, and if it doesn't work for me there must be something wrong with me...sorry anyways to answer your question i agree with all above, yes using the hand is usally the cure to this, communication is ALWAYS important, but you know that. i guess i would say for me, if i've had a lot of sex lately, or masturbation, then trying to orgasm from oral is almost impossible for me. its good foreplay i'll say that much. and i really love starting without an erection one and getting one through oral.

Old 07-23-2012, 03:07 PM   #5
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Re: Relax during oral? It's difficult

I never can ejaculate from oral either..but to me it always has felt awesome but as far as ejaculating I just can't do it,unless I get a hand job or actually just penetrate...that is not to say I do not enjoy oral....Just calm down and experiment in other sounds like you have a very loving relationship and it's good you can give her orgasms with your just be honest with her and tell her it'[s not her fault...and just try other things...good luck!

Old 07-24-2012, 04:11 AM   #6
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Re: Relax during oral? It's difficult

You need to stop worrying, tensing or whatever it is your are doing that creates an issue about this. Oral sex should feel good, whether or not it's able to bring you to orgasm.

I'll say this though, it's very much a matter of technique. The mouth is not so different from a vagina or a pair of lubed up hands. It's all about how it's done.

When my partner goes down on me, I can tell her to do things that make it last a long time. Which is great for just enjoying the ride and feeling good. Or I can tell her to do things I know bring me to climax a lot faster, because they're more stimulating.

It's possible your girlfriend doesn't have the proper technique or that you two aren't in sync. It's hard to guess at.
It sounds like you're not aroused by oral at all. That's a pity I think but we're all different You should be able to learn to at least relax and enjoy the feelings.

Can your GF get you off with a hand job? If so, she could do that and gradually incorporate her mouth into the play. Or you could have regular sex where you break off and she does oral for a minute and then back again.
That way you can learn to associate the feelings with other positive experiences and perhaps come to enjoy them more.

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