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Old 06-21-2003, 07:09 AM   #1
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: USA
Posts: 3
nomis123 HB User

I met someone a few months ago, and we became good friends and talked daily. We both are "taken", but one day when we were hanging out, we had absolutely terrific (protected) sex. We continued to talk every day, either on the phone or by email, and neither one expected anything more out of what had happened then what it was. We met again and it happened again, except this time she seems to have pulled back from the situation and although we still talk by email, it isn't the same as it was before, and there isn't the fun banter we used to have, we haven't spoke on the phone, and there has been casual mention of "hooking" up again, but thus far, we haven't. I really enjoy being around her, and our chemistry is unreal, and I know she feels the same way, we've discussed it, basically it's a huge sexual attraction, and we both realize we can't get attached any other way, but honestly, it's hard not to. I found myself thinking about her a lot, and her the same, so fdo you think her drawing back is because thie situation is too emotionally complicated? Do you believe you can have fabulous sex but not become emotionally involved? What is you take on this?

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Old 06-21-2003, 07:30 AM   #2
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Illinois
Posts: 286
911_mom HB User

My first question is~you do have a gf right??? Is that what you meant by "taken?"
I personally cannot have sex with someone and then never think about it again. Even someone I didn't really have any feelings about to begin with and only physical attraction. You didn't mention your gf at all in your post. Do you still have feelings for her? Do you feel bad about sleeping with this other person? I think everyone is different when it comes to this situation. Some people can sleep with someone and never give it one thought and others become emotionally attached right away.

Old 06-21-2003, 09:38 AM   #3
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: USA
Posts: 3
nomis123 HB User

I do have a girlfriend, we live together, and I honestly never had such a strong sexual attraction for another person before I met this other girl, I have never cheated on my girlfriend prior to this and it wasn't planned at all, it isn't something I ever thought about, but it's like when I am with this other girl, I couldn't control it at all, which is a first. And she was the same way, we have great conversations together also, but the attraction is very strong, and I am wondering if feelings did enter into it, or she just thought it wasn't a good idea to push the situation further due to possible feelings becoming involved in the future, or what happened. I don't want to ask her, because I would feel like I am pressuring it to be something it isn't, but I wondered what people's opinions were about her distancing herself from me slightly? I want to remain friends no matter what.

Old 06-23-2003, 01:35 PM   #4
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 38
TrippleNipple HB User

She probably realizes things are getting a little complicated with you having a g/f and all. She probably wants to preserve the friendship as much as you and that's why she's backing off.

Old 06-24-2003, 10:14 AM   #5
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Upstate, NY, USA
Posts: 429
LiLnuTTy HB User

Well, first, you need to not cheat on your gf :-) But thats a different subject.
I cant have sex with someone without becoming somewhat emotionally attached. It is different for guys though, my baby's dad, has no emotional attachment to me, and never has, it was completely sexual...but yet, I had an emotional attachment to him...must be a woman thing or something.
But, as the previous poster said, she may be backing off due to you having a girlfriend.Cant blame her though can you??? My suggestion is you figure out what the real deal is, between you and this other girl , and make a decision

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