HealthBoards (
-   Sexual Health - Men (
-   -   not lasting very long... (

anonymousjohn 11-27-2012 03:24 PM

not lasting very long...
I've been sexually active for more than 2 years, and until recently had always used a condom. I normally last anywhere between 10 and 30 minutes while using one. My current girlfriend is on birth control, and we recently decided to start having sex without a condom. When we aren't using one, I tend to last less than 5 minutes, and sometimes as little as 2, even after having sex multiple times after waiting a few minutes in between. I understand that the amount of pleasure one experiences without one on is increased and its to be expected to orgasm quicker this way, but I want to know if there is anything I can or should do to last longer?

aowshea 11-27-2012 11:14 PM

Re: not lasting very long...
The first and important thing is the control, because no matter which method you use, if without control, you're done in brief.

This is my way, just a suggestion, some may work, else probably may not suitable in your way.

Breath control.
Most of time, we hold our breath after exhaling. Try the opposite way. Inhale and hold. Then exhale and inhale and hold.
My reason: Preventing the oxygen, may procreates a 'panic'. Like you're in water without enough oxygen. Then you rush! So, how to do it slowly if you're body is in panic state.
That's why 90% I blow up faster when I'm really tired.

Penis control.
My favorite is squeezing PC muscle, especially when woman on top, since this position had killed me many times in the past sessions of sex ago. She complained that she were on the way to orgasm. But I blow up first.[QUOTE][/QUOTE]
It was easier when man in control, I can stop awhile before point of no return.
Squeezing the muscle resembling exhaling and hold. Actually, they're done altogether at the same time.

Mind control.
I avoid thinking the pleasure. The trick is focus on her eyes. Do not look at her mouth, and not focusing on hearing her moan.
If she's nodding up/look else while having sensation, follow her by nodding up/look else, but don't look at your genital, or her hardening breasts. Except you want to ejaculate.

Verbal control / Empathy concerned.
I had practiced these verbal-sex while penetrating, in these 2 years. Hence, while we flirt on her, man's focus will be divided. "Ohh, I feel totally inside you". This reason is to add spices for her sensation to reach orgasm. Bcause most of men kept in silence while penetrating.

mc7 12-02-2012 01:33 AM

Re: not lasting very long...
The psychological suggestions of the last poster could help. Sexual difficulties are often mental.

If your penis has "way too much" sensitivity, you could reduce it by keeping your foreskin retracted for some amount of time during the day (maybe 5-30 min a day for a few days). Retracting the foreskin will desensitize your penis from letting the most sensitive parts lightly rub against fabric in your clothes. An important point of warning about doing this: if your foreskin is too tight for this, see the sticky thread on the "Men's Health" board "Stretching To Fix Tight Foreskin (Phimosis)". If the foreskin is too tight it can get stuck (paraphimosis); it's very important to correct this within a few minutes if this happens. (That's just a problem from tight skin, it can't happen in most men.)

On the other hand, you might not want to reduce sensitivity. Sensitivity inevitably decreases with age; once it's [I]very[/I] low it can cause significant sexual problems. A standard deviation below normal sensitivity appears to cause erectile dysfunction (Rowland, 1998).

Something which it sounds like you might have already noticed, you might be able to work around this problem by regaining an erection fairly quickly after orgasming. There's a "refractory period" after orgasm during which one cannot yet get an erection. For intact men it can often be very short (1-5 min). If you did not know, foreskin stimulation is the most effective means of stimulating a new erection, and I know it's actually easy to fail to notice this. Restimulating erection can help you to stay interested and actively involved in sex long enough to satisfy your partner. It's not like orgasming multiple times in one session is actually a problem. It's really only has to be a problem if you make it one, you know?

Finally, this doesn't sound like your problem but if you should ever find yourself inexplicably ejaculating "without orgasm" (without feeling like a real orgasm happened), it may be a sign of infection. UTIs are a somewhat common (non-STD) infection that can do this (sometimes) and without displaying any other symptoms if very mild. Very mild infections of the urinary tract (UTIs) can be treated and prevented with cranberry (fresh, juice or tablets), but for a more serious infection (like an STD) you'd need to see a doctor.

JinL 12-22-2012 11:55 AM

Re: not lasting very long...
condoms block the sensory nerves & cause the longer sessions.

aowshea 12-23-2012 12:42 AM

Re: not lasting very long...
I agree, JinL. Condom did.

JinL 12-29-2012 09:33 AM

Re: not lasting very long...
[QUOTE=aowshea;5107979]I agree, JinL. Condom did.[/QUOTE]

OK, now try using the condom for a while, then take it off.

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:58 AM.