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Be careful what you wish for ...

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Old 12-20-2012, 07:37 PM   #1
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Binghamton, NY USA
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Be careful what you wish for ...

I'm 49 years old and have been married to a wonderful woman for 25 years. She is 44. The problem is that I have lost some of the sexual drive I had when we were first married. I have found self-gratification much more enjoyable to actual sex with my wife. I should point out that because of this issue, my wife sometime ago told me that if I did not have sex with her like we used to do when we were younger that she would 'find a boyfriend.' We laughed about it but then sometime later on I thought about that idea and it excited me. I'm not sure why. I then asked her about that and she said she gets horny also but does not self-gratify as I have done for so long. She just wanted sex on a regular basis and that was all. So, teasingly I said pick someone out and let me know. She did and asked me again about my decision and I said 'if it makes you feel better,' go for it. She did and now I feel very awkward about our relationship. It was with a co-worker of hers' whom I do not know. This whole thing has me confused but at the same time it also excites me.

How can I deal with this 'new' chapter in our lives? We have a very normal married life except for our sex lives. Thanks.

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Old 12-22-2012, 03:22 AM   #2
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Re: Be careful what you wish for ...

Alas, you had let the bird flew away...

When she repeats by asking you for the decision, for the second time and you agreed for it. You had lost from her empathy sight. First time, she may think it's between a joke or a truth. But second time, it becomesaa more convincing answer for her. That she may feel that she's not wanted anymore. She won't tell you for this, because woman's empathy only whispers for her, but the voice rarely goes out. Because once it's out, that's a nightmare for the relationship's sake with her man.

About -finding another one, i think it's hard for her in nearb times. Due to my analyzing of how you described for the situation -and about her. Thus, itmay be happened IF under un-apologized situation from her empathy, aka after several heavy conflicts that resulting she surrenders the relationship. Another barrier would be her maturity.

Like I said, "How to deal a woman's empathy is, as a man, if you're capable to put things down (concerning with her empathy), you should also be able to put it up back again in the former place."

So here's the deal is the joke about finding for another man, you should rethink if she asks you for a second consideration. Be careful, it's a field which is full of mines. Wrong step/answer, you blow up yourself. She/her empathy gets wounded because of the flying fractures.

In my life, there are plenty of times I stop my current activity, when she asks such critical question. Unfortunately, we -men- are not born to do two things at the same time. Once the focus is divided, we just give away a practical answer, or an answer that's not her expectation.

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