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Frustrated with girlfriend's sexual past.

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Old 12-14-2010, 07:00 PM   #1
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Nashville, Tennessee, United States
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Basketballer HB User
Frustrated with girlfriend's sexual past.

This is my first post so I don't quite understand how this works but I'm looking for feedback about my problem.

I just turned 18 and I've been dating this girl for roughly 3 months and have been having sex with her for around 6. She has had sex with 4 guys before me, 3 boyfriends 1 random. She's given head to 7 or 8 I'm not sure but she has also made out with two guys on my basketball team. She took my virginity. I feel like sometimes I'm drawn to her because she was my first but I really like her a lot and enjoy spending time with her. I think about the other partners daily and it's driving me crazy. I have no idea whether I'm feeling the right way or overreacting but it seems like a lot to handle. Some insight would be greatly appreciated

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Old 12-15-2010, 02:04 AM   #2
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Re: Frustrated with girlfriend's sexual past.

Hmmmm,... I'm not exactly sure what the question is you are asking.
When you say you think about the other partners daily what do you mean by that?

"were they better than me" ?
"were they bigger than me" ?
"I can't believe how many guys she's been with already" ?

It wouldn't surprise me if you thought about all 3 of these things really... It's quite normal to ask yourself questions about your girlfriends sexual past

But what you need to remember is that she's with YOU now. And it's important that you enjoy spending time with her...

If it really bugs you that much, why not try approaching the subject with your girlfriend? I've found some girls are pretty open about these sort of things and if she likes you that much she'll do her best to reassure you give it a try if you like

Hope this helps


Old 12-15-2010, 05:35 AM   #3
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Re: Frustrated with girlfriend's sexual past.

I personally would advise against talking to her about it. Or at least advise against asking bringing up those three points!

Mainly because it's something you're going to have to deal with. Unless you believe this is the girl you're going to spend the rest of your life with, then odds are you are going to be with other women who have been with other men before you. You're going to have to learn to accept this fact. Just the way the women you are with in the future will have to accept that you have been with other women before them.

I don't think going to her for reassurance is the way to go - unless she is rubbing your face in it or something like that, in which case definitely ask her to not do that. This is your issue, not hers, and I'm not sure you want her to see you as insecure - or worse, judging her on her past.

Old 12-21-2010, 10:36 PM   #4
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Re: Frustrated with girlfriend's sexual past.

Honestly, I would have waited at least a year to have sex, just so you'd know if she just wanted you because she loved you, or the sex. That's what I did with my boyfriend of four years.

I was a virgin and so was he. But his past was very sexual. Pretty much anything you can do but have sex he's done to many girls. Ugh terrible thinking about now and typing this.

And he was my first kiss and first everything.

You cannot let it bother you. Don't bring it up to her, you have no control about her sexual life before she met you, as I can't control what my boyfriend did when we weren't dating.

I think it is important to bring up in one situation. If she got any STD's or anything she could give to you. I hope you had her tested before you had sex.
I with I would have had my boyfriend checked as I got HPV from him, when he didn't even need to have sex to get it. Luckily, I got the three HPV shots that saved my life before I was sexually active.
It really made me upset he gave me that because of him getting it from another girl he was with before me.
But you need to let the past go, you can't control how she used to be. Bringing it up to you will stress you more, and her too

Old 12-24-2010, 10:52 AM   #5
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jess1435 HB User
Re: Frustrated with girlfriend's sexual past.

I mean i'm 19 and I personally would never have been so sexually active, but what's in the past is in the past. I would try not to think about that stuff so much and just focus on the here and now. She also probably senses your intimidation about the subject and that's not attractive.

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