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Advice on life

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Old 07-13-2011, 05:51 PM   #1
Join Date: Jul 2011
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becker1992 HB User
Unhappy Advice on life

Okay let me just start off by saying that I am teen male. I have been getting more and more depressed for a year now. You might say that "Oh, it's just highschool." This could be part of it but I need to explain my situation at this point in my life. My parents are in the midst of a 2 year divorce. They haven't sold the house yet because my dad hasn't had a job since I started highschool. All the money my hard working mom makes just is enough to get by the lowest standard of living. Now, I mean I realize that my house is reativly big and that I live in an expesive neighbourhood but it's taking away at my life. I have a job that I hate but I am forced to keep it because I'd have no money. I can't stand my dad, because while my mom is working her *** off, my dad is technically having an affair with her while jobless living in the same home. Now I'd say I'm taking it well. But I'm doing really bad in school, I'm over weight, and I have a somewhat mediocre sized penis. I know that is was a little rambled but it was somewhat of a rant. Anyway I am feeling depressed, and I feel like I'am going crazy. please help and try to see if you have a worse situation then me. I'm sure some of you will but I'm exited to hear your input.

Last edited by Mod-S4; 07-13-2011 at 09:56 PM.

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Old 07-13-2011, 07:08 PM   #2
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Re: Advice on life

Hey Becker1992

I'm not going to take up your invitation "to see if you have a worse situation then me" because I don't want to compare my life at 15 years of age with yours. It wouldn't be fair to either of us and would be of no help. Having experienced some bad times myself, what I can tell you from personal experience is that life gets better as it goes along. When you're in the middle of a situation such as the one you have described, it is very difficult to see your way through -- particularly because, at age 15, to a large extent you are dependent on adults. However, you can exercise some independence in three areas you mention:
  1. I'm doing really bad in school. You can start to concentrate on improving your performance. Do some work. Seek advice from your teachers. If your mind is more occupied with school work, you have less time to think about your personal worries and life might seem not so bad.
  2. I'm over weight. Do some research on healthy eating and exercise. Adopt some of the ideas you find in this research. If you don't like sport or gym, at least start walking briskly a few kilometres a day.
  3. I have a somewhat mediocre sized penis. Do some research on average penis size. Most guys think they are deficient in that department at some stage in their life. But when you find a loving partner and start having sex, your concerns will disappear. Believe me!
You might think my list is cliched and unoriginal. It probably is. But it might help to lift you out of your current cares and concerns, so that you can start looking towards your future. That's where your happiness lies -- in your future -- so start working towards it.

My best wishes, mate.
I hear the beat of a different drummer
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Old 07-13-2011, 09:43 PM   #3
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Re: Advice on life

Hello Becker,

I think Fles has made some great points...where there is an opportunity to make some changes, do so! Of course, with all that is going on in your home life, it creates quite a distraction from keeping things going smoothly, but you can put yourself on a personal schedule that offers you a chance to work on your own priorities, while your parents work on theirs. While you are helpless at changing what is going on with them, you are far from powerless in making your life a little better. Doing so will really give a kick to your self esteem, when you see the progress that you have both created and accomplished.

When it comes to doing the things that are required of you, such as your school work and your job, do them to your best ability. Doing a halfway job has not benefit to anyone, and will show you no rewards. While you are doing such things, put your heart into them, see what you can really do if you put your mind to it. From there, you will be more likely to also receive external rewards, such as good grades, job promotions, raises, and a much better attitude towards them. What you put into things is a direct link to what you will get out of them, and that goes for everything in life. You will never waste your time when you are doing things to the very best of your ability.

Most importantly, you are preparing yourself for your own life ahead. Practicing your skills and your work ethic is very important, as you are at the point in your life where independence is right around the corner. Soon enough it will be up to you to provide and create your own life. While it is a big responsibility, it is also a very exciting time of your life.

We all get to make choices about just about everything that comes our way each day. That includes how we choose to look at things, and the attitude we choose to have. To have a good attitude, it takes some practice, but it is completely up to us as to which way we choose to go. yes, it is easier to just blow things off, and choose the easy way out, but it is equally possible to choose to make our lives happy and rich with experience. We can choose to treat people poorly, or to treat them as if we want them to treat us. It is amazing at the difference in how you get treated when you treat others with a smile, a compliment and an open ear.

Although you are at a tough part of your life, you also have the world at your fingertips. From here, you can decide which path you want to travel on, not what your parents have put you on. I encourage you to take your self by the hand and lead yourself into the world on your own terms, leaving the past behind you. There is no obstacle too big to take on, as long as you believe in yourself, and don't allow yourself to be defeated. Surround yourself with good people, positive people going places in life.

As far as your physical issues, again Fles is so right. Men do have a tendency to underestimate their size...maybe because of the angle at which you are looking, or because of some misunderstanding about what is normal. From a mature woman who has been lucky enough to have had some wonderful men in my life, the size of a man is the least of our worries, and should be yours too. What we are looking for are men who are kind, funny, warm and loveable. Men like that come in every shape, size, and style. What we love most about you in your attitude toward life, your drive to live your life fully and your ability to offer your love openly and honestly. You will notice that no where in that list is any measurements.

One day these things that are causing you confusion and pain will be gone. It is up to you to decide how you are going to come out of it, as a damaged young man, or as a strong and determined man. Yes, the latter is a bit harder, but as mentioned before, what you put into anything, will directly result in what you get out of it. You have your mother as a wonderful role model for a hard working never give up kind of woman. That is a great place for you to start. Use your mothers strength to help you through the tough parts, and use your fathers example as what you do not want for yourself. You can do this!

Best to you, Janet

Last edited by writeleft; 07-14-2011 at 08:29 AM.

Old 07-14-2011, 07:28 AM   #4
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Re: Advice on life

Hey Becker1992 [again]

Having re-read my comments to you, there are two things I should have said and didn't.
  1. Laugh as much as you can, despite what you're going through. A sense of humor is a great tool to defeat the agony and trauma that we all suffer. Find the best comedy shows on TV and laugh as much as possible. Share jokes with your mates -- and with your mother, cuz she's going through a lot too, as you know. Look carefully at the things you see every day and you will find a lot to laugh about and enjoy. For example, consider the humor in my comments about us guys and our dicks.
  2. Talk to your mother; you know she loves you. Open and honest communication are essential if you are seriously willing to work through problems.
Ok, I said there were two points I should have mentioned in my first post. But there's another one I just remembered. Please don't dismiss your father totally. One day (maybe a long way away) you might appreciate his opinions on your present turmoil. I know this is a very sore point for you at the moment. Your feelings might change.
I hear the beat of a different drummer
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