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Extreme pain-- losing virginity

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Old 01-08-2006, 03:16 PM   #1
Join Date: Jan 2006
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Eldreya HB User
Extreme pain-- losing virginity

I feel a bit naive asking this, but.. My boyfriend and I have been together for a few years, and recently we decided to try to have sex. I'm old enough and ready emotionally and all of that, but my body seems to violently protest, despite how many positions we try. Now, I realize that a bit of pain is normal for the first time. However, we've tried about 3 times now, and I've yet to actually be penetrated at all--- yet there's *already* a great amount of pain just in doing that. It just won't penetrate. All I feel is an extremely painful [and I'm not exaggerating-- it HURTS] pushing feeling. And though my mind would be relatively calm [if not very frusturated], my whole body would sometimes begin shaking/trembling, but that's beside the point.. Is all of that pain normal, when there's not even any penetration? Is there a reason it's not working, or will we have to be flat out brutal for this to ever work..? I'm a bit confused.

(As for a bit of background info, though I'm not sure it's relevant or not, but.. I've always had little to no sex drive. Or rather, I can rarely feel anything and so I never masturbate.)

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Old 01-08-2006, 03:38 PM   #2
Junior Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: england
Posts: 29
booboo2006 HB User
Re: Extreme pain-- losing virginity

Hiya Eldreya,

This happend to me when i first started to have sex. It hurts for the first few times and sometimes more but don't worry. It's probably your body getting used to it. If it hurts more and more over time, go to the doctors or talk to your boyfriend and tell him it hurts. Don't be embarssed!

Good luck and always be careful

Old 01-08-2006, 04:12 PM   #3
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 183
neflin HB User
Re: Extreme pain-- losing virginity

The first thing you should be doing is masturbating. This should be a daily occurrence. This stimulates your genitals so that you get blood into them and they are more receptive to stimulation which in turn gives you more lubrication making penetration easier. This brings up your sex drive by bringing on your libido. I do not know if you are using it but use a great lubricant. I like Strawberry Astroglide.

I am sure for the first time penetration it is hard as I recall many moons ago when this happened to me. Anyway I think I do. There is another problem you may have and this you will have to consider serious. It is a vulva disorder where your vagina is not able to expand enough for entry. You do not want to hurt yourself. I would if I were you get a *****. Get a smaller size and use this trying to make yourself more ready for penetration. Be sure to lubricate this well. If this did not work go to OB-GYN. Good luck.

One more thing. Relax, enjoy and do not tense up. Being tense will make it worse. Take care.

Old 01-08-2006, 10:36 PM   #4
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Canada
Posts: 73
luvgirl HB User
Re: Extreme pain-- losing virginity

It's normal the first few times to feel pain. God I remember my first time that there was a full penetration. It hurt like hell and then afterewards I still felt so much pain. Use lots of lube and tell him to just be patient. Try to relax a bit and that might help. My bf and I got frustrated after more tries than you and it still didn't work. Then he got smart and used the powder off of the long lasting condoms and put it on me. They were pretty numbing and it worked. Don't get me wrong but there were still a lot of pain but with the 'condom' numbing powder helped a lot. I hope this helps you out. Let us know it how it goes. Enjoy the moment too as that'll be a day you'll remember for a long time.

Old 01-09-2006, 06:11 AM   #5
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 31
joedoe HB User
Re: Extreme pain-- losing virginity

Have you tried using lube? Is his penis large? Not necessarily the length but the girth or thickness. That might be why and where the lubrication would help.

Old 01-10-2006, 10:49 AM   #6
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,900
chevyman HB User
Re: Extreme pain-- losing virginity

I think your just not stimulated enough? you maybe aroused but if your not stimulated your vagina will not open up to accomadate him, lube is fine and makes things more slippery sure, but if your not stimulated you probably couldn't get a pencil to go up on sexual education.
if your not on birth control? have him to always use a condom.
sorry to be so blunt.

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