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8 months married and still a virgin

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Old 01-05-2012, 11:28 AM   #1
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Illinois, Chicago, US
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KD83 HB User
8 months married and still a virgin

I've been married for 8 months now and we've still not had sex yet.
He is never able to get inside me because firstly, I am mostly never wet, and when I use a lubricant there, it usually burns. We've tried using a lubricant also, but there is something like a wall inside my vagina.
I tried inserting my finger with great difficulty(due to no lubrication and great friction) and it felt curved?? I know I sound stupid here, but I desperately need help!

I used to be very aroused before during foreplay with my boyfriend(now husband). Even then we never had sex, but the foreplay was good. These days I feel I've lost all interest in sex. I dont feel aroused at all, and trying to have sex is such a burden.

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Old 01-05-2012, 08:42 PM   #2
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Cntbelievethis HB UserCntbelievethis HB User
Re: 8 months married and still a virgin

the only thing that will help you is to relax. maybe you are not ready. This can create a mental block for you..
good luck

sex is a great thing just enjoy it responsibly.

Last edited by Cntbelievethis; 01-05-2012 at 08:43 PM.

Old 01-06-2012, 03:58 AM   #3
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Birmingham, AL
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Titchou HB UserTitchou HB UserTitchou HB UserTitchou HB UserTitchou HB UserTitchou HB UserTitchou HB UserTitchou HB UserTitchou HB UserTitchou HB UserTitchou HB User
Re: 8 months married and still a virgin

Sounds like your hymen may still be intact as well. Have you seen a gyno? I would suggest that to be sure.

Old 01-06-2012, 09:24 AM   #4
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Lily2005 HB User
Re: 8 months married and still a virgin

I agree that your first step is to see your doctor.

Old 03-31-2012, 05:37 PM   #5
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Rexburg, ID, USA
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KellyBaby818 HB User
Re: 8 months married and still a virgin

I had a similar problem to yours when I got married. It is very frustrating, isn't it? I felt that feeling like he was hitting a wall and going nowhere too. I think it was due to having a thick hymen, small vaginal opening and nervousness. I knew it would hurt, but not THAT every time we tried having sex, I would tense up because I was anticipating pain.
We're a little over 7 months into our marriage and sex wasn't very successful until about 4-5 months into it.
Here's what worked for us:
1. Lots of lubricant (try a warming oil or a simple water-based one for less burning)
2. Do lots of foreplay with the clitoris (that opens up the vagina a little more and lubricates it naturally)
3. Have your husband stimulate your clitoris while he's inside of you to keep yourself opened up. I find that if my husband stops doing this, my body "rejects" his penis and tries to push him out if that makes sense. Otherwise, the pain is all but gone and I'm focusing on the pleasure of what his finger is doing.
4. Try all sorts of different sex positions. Even though missionary is common that is by far the most painful for me. Even now that sex is great and successful, I don't suggest that position unless I'm feeling really brave. Haha. Try this: Start in the spooning position and wrap your top leg behind you and around his hip. This is the BEST for us because he has good access to my clitoris and it's comfortable and pleasurable. He's able to get in very easily, but you may need to guide him in with your hand.
We also tried to have me lay on the edge of the bed and my husband standing up. If that doesn't open you up and let him in, I don't know what will. It hurts, but it opens you up. You can also try having you on kind of hurts at first too, but it works.
5. Breathe, relax. It sounds easier said than done, but it helps. Concentrate on relaxing your muscles and letting your husband in. This may be unpleasant at first because the more you relax, the deeper he'll go, the more it will sting and whatnot, but it's worth it.
6. Visit your gyno and see if she/he can help you out.
This is a load of info, but I hope something in it will help you out. Good luck sweetie!

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