It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Share Your Anxiety Story Message Board

My story (apologies in advance for the length)

Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 06-12-2008, 09:03 AM   #1
Junior Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Vancouver, Bc, Canada
Posts: 25
soupermom HB User
My story (apologies in advance for the length)

In retrospect I have been dealing with GAD for most of my life. My mother always said I had a bad stomach because I always had stomach aches when I was stressed and I stressed about everything. I needed to be the perfect child, the perfect student, the perfect Christian.

I had headaches, neck and back pain and sinus problems. I was always at the doctor and they always prescribed antibiotics or pain killers. I also realize now that I had experienced panic attacks several times in young adulthood but had no idea what was happening.

My real troubles started about 4 years ago when I had a full blown panic attack while at my desk at work. I had never experienced anything like it and everyone believed I was having a heart attack. After a huge scene I was taken to the hospital and told I was having a panic attack. I was humiliated and did not believe them. I could not have a panic attack, I am “SUPERMOM,” I am in control, I fix things, I don’t lose control, it just wasn’t possible. But the attacks continued and I covered them up but they only got worse.

By fall of that year I could barely function. I was constantly dizzy, always in pain, struggled to breath. It all came to a head when my well meaning sister-in-law decided that there was something really wrong with me, and had me go through every imaginable test there was. She could not believe that someone who was as together, and in control as I was could suffer from panic attacks. I had 3 MRIs, 2 CAT scans, and every other invasive test that could be imagined, with results showing nothing. In the mean time, my doctor put me on a dose of 8 mg of Ativan a day (just to help me relax while they figured out what was wrong) and beta blockers to keep my blood pressure down. I was convinced I was dying and even with the high doses of Ativan I still had panic attacks on a daily basis. I was petrified of being alone and friends and family had to stay with me all the time.

By Christmas, I decided I could not do this anymore as I was convinced that if something didn’t change, this was going to be my last Christmas with my kids so started fighting back. I made myself start functioning again and by the time I could function, I had lost 6 months of my life. One of my old college instructors called and asked if I could come in to help him with a program he was coordinating and I started to work a few hours a day. By the end of summer I was feeling reasonable and the doctor had put me on Zoloft so that I could start cutting back on the Ativan. I spent another 6 months withdrawing from the medications and that was very hard. That fall I started working fulltime again but my doctor insisted I see a psychologist as I needed to determine what was causing the GAD and panic attacks. Working through things I came to realize that I needed to end my marriage as it had been causing me stress and unhappiness for many years. This was very difficult for me as I was the perfect suburban supermom but I did it and made huge difference. For the first time in years I felt I had some say in my life and I could relax and be myself. I was convinced I was cured and everything was great.

Then, six months ago, the symptoms started creeping up again. I could not believe it, I should not be going through this again, ending my marriage was supposed to fix it. I had made a career change and in the middle of buying a house at the time and the fear that I could end up comatose and unable to pay my mortgage scared the heck out of me. Of course this made it worse and I started spiraling into the same old patterns; dizzy all the time, chest pains, shortness of breath, etc. This time, I decided I was going to educate myself and spent hours on the internet reading about GAD. I think I have read everything there is to read on GAD, panic attacks, and phobias. I then realized that knowledge is power and once I understood the causes for the symptoms they become less sever. I also made a lot of changes to eating habits, exercise and breathing which are making a huge difference. Every case is different but for me, I refuse to go on medications again as they were not the answer for me. I will have to come to accept that it is something that will always be in my life but I now believe I manage it and not allow it to take over again. I have to believe that.

Last edited by ms_mod; 06-12-2008 at 12:10 PM. Reason: Please read all "Sticky" posts at the top of the main anxiety board as to why parts of your post were removed. Ms_Mod

Sponsors Lightbulb
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
MTPJ Joint Fusion Story dbgoalie Foot & Ankle Problems 99 02-21-2008 01:41 PM
This is Our Story... index.html ADD / ADHD 11 08-05-2007 12:24 PM
Excellent story about Dr Epley - well worth a read adamw Inner Ear Disorders 5 01-02-2007 11:12 PM
Newbie, my story, my questions, my support Hope4U2 Pain Management 4 08-18-2006 09:33 PM
Apologies, in advance (or whatever)... BenGone Bipolar Disorder 5 06-30-2006 02:02 PM
My Story of Symptoms/Conditions SoManyFeelings Thyroid Disorders 3 05-11-2006 07:33 PM
What Happened??? a story (its long) ChannelZ28 Relationship Health 6 12-10-2005 06:07 PM
Severe Leg Cramps (long story - I ramble!) brokenbruised Neuromuscular Diseases 3 11-19-2005 03:38 AM
My MS Story (long, apologies to the ADD'ers) Mrs K Multiple Sclerosis 1 11-28-2001 08:23 AM
Ok here it nightmare story of misdiagnosis - caution long story !!! KristiM Dental Health 4 03-30-2001 08:40 PM

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:05 PM.

Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
© 1998-2018 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!