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My depression story :(


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Old 03-10-2017, 08:45 AM   #1
GamingGuy
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GamingGuy HB User
My depression story :(

I am a teen,. I have been depressed ever since middle school because of my social anxiety. I have no friends whatsoever and the one friend i did manage to make unfortunately moved away. Now for the people that don't know what social anxiety is, its basically the fearing or getting intense anxiety when in social situations. Its incredibly hard for me to open up to anybody in school and Its extremely uncomfortable for me to be in public places so I often skipped lunch, and school social events. People often get the idea that I'm antisocial but I don't hate people, in fact the number one thing I have always wanted was friends but something in me always panics every time somebody would come to talk to me.

when I got into high school I convinced myself that I would try to open up more to people and hoped people would come and talk to me but instead I found nobody who I could relate to, nobody who wanted to talk to me. The only time people would talk to me was if I had food so I would always bring food in hopes that people would always talk to me but after a while I stopped because i realized that they didn't actually like me for me. I was always bullied to a degree in high school because of how weak I look. They would always mock me because they know that I'm too much of a coward to say anything back to them.

After seeing people have friend and seeing myself alone for so many times in school, I eventually decided that I would run away from home. I was determined to do this but after 8 hours I went back home only because I cared about my family. when I let the police find me, they and my parents decided to put me in some type of management program at the hospital where i had to stay at for 2 weeks. when I finally got out, I felt like a new person but right when when i went back to school, all the depression came right back.

Currently I'm writing this in the corner of the classroom in school. I'm writing this because I in a very broken state right now. Its hard watching people socialize and not be able to be a part of that. I have 2 dogs that depend on me. Those dogs are the only thing that keep me going because they are the living things that will always love me no matter what.

I hate myself. I have nobody to relate to. I don't blame God for all this, I don't blame my parents for all this, I don't blame anybody for all this. I blame myself. I hate myself. I feel so alone that it physically hurts.

Last edited by Administrator; 03-10-2017 at 09:08 AM.

 
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