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Girrlzilla 05-31-2018 01:49 PM

I feel nothing
 
I've suffered from depression for many years. It's so bad now that I can honestly say I have no joy, other than my wits, in my life. I don't get excited about anything. I don't do anything or go anywhere besides work. All I do every weekend is sleep. I don't leave my house. Even watching TV is not something I do for happiness, it's to pass the time. Life feels like a big waste of time. I used to have a career I cared about and I'm still in the same field but not the same job. My job now is awful and soul crushing but I can't leave because of the money. my family, what's left of it, is in another state. I don't have any friends. I don't even want any because I can't muster up the energy to go out. I don't care about anything except my pets. If I could I'd sleep my life away. I only exist to work to make money to pay my bills. I can't travel, I can't move home (no job) and I can't do the treatment my shrink suggested bc my insurance doesn't cover it. I've tried to find counselors in my city but it never works out. They either don't get me or don't seem to care. I honestly don't know why I'm here. The only person that ever truly loved me is my mom and she's dead.


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