It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Share Your Depression Story Message Board

25 years of this!

Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 10-09-2007, 07:59 PM   #1
Junior Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Pawleys Island, SC, USA
Posts: 43
samrhett2 HB User
25 years of this!

I have suffered and been treated for depression and anxiety for 25 years.
I have been on every antidepressant and mood stabilizer known to man. Sometimes I am better, sometimes I am worse, but I have come to the conclusion that I will never feel good.

I have become an excellent actor. I pretend to be happy all the time. People comment on how I am always smiling. I am bubbly, funny and outgoing. It is quite an act. Has anyone else learned to do this? Inside I am in so much pain.

I don't want to be around people and usually won't answer the phone. I don't really feel lonely, just dead inside. I don't really care about anything.

I am about $25,000 in debt and scared to death. I guess I care about that!Not really my fault. Just very few jobs here and they are mostly very low paying. I am a single mom. I can't move because my parents would have no one to help with my invalid mother. I sleep every chance I get, except at night when I can't sleep. Ambien doesn't help. My son, 7, begs me to play with him, but I just don't have the strength. Can you say "guilt". He is now being treated for panic attacks.

I have nothing to look forward to. I know I should be thankful for what I have, but I just feel like a hopeless piece of crap. I am about 50 lbs overweight. I can virtually starve and gain weight and who can exercise when they are at the bottom of a dark hole. Funny though, I do care about being fat.

I am tired of medication switches they never work. Are there just some people who never feel well? Cause I don't think I ever have. Sad to say that the best I ever functioned was when I was a binge drinker. I had money, friends and looked hot. I stopped drinking, but depression has not improved.

Is there anyone else who feels they are a hopeless case? Cause I am feeling like the only one.

Sponsors Lightbulb
Old 10-10-2007, 10:51 AM   #2
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: ireland
Posts: 70
Maneka5* HB User
Re: 25 years of this!

Hiya, Im Maneka, Just read your thread, I feel for you I really do. I have felt like that at times. Read my story and you may get an idea of how unrelenting the bad times in my life have been. I still struggle day to day but i'll be damned if i give up all the good things in my life just to be another statistic proving life is ****. Most people who are in touch with reality know that life can be **** but its also amazing. I wish you could find hope in your son, panic attacks at 7 just isnt right. Sometimes what gets me through is lowering my expectations of people and situations. I just let the little things register and it works. Most of the time we go through life with blinkers on. Intelligence can blind a person to whats truly important in life. Cherish your little son, he absolutely adores his mum, shes the light of his life! I wouldnt miss that for the world you lucky thing.
big hug from me xx Maneka

Old 11-25-2007, 02:03 PM   #3
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 219
Gia029 HB User
Re: 25 years of this!

I don't feel like a hopeless case, although I have gained 100lbs in 7 years due to medications. Things could still be worse.

Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Chronic back pain for 5 years now xxdjs Pain Management 7 04-30-2010 03:13 AM
back problems for three years/Im only 23 ketchman27 Back Problems 1 04-24-2010 05:25 AM
My Dad, 61 years old, Stage IV PC... pls help littleeagles Cancer: Prostate 11 12-10-2009 07:48 PM
not sure which category to put this,various problems for over 15 years !! eevee General Health 7 01-21-2009 08:48 PM
No sex in years, and never again...? Aschatan Sexual Health - Women 8 11-25-2006 05:27 PM
Been lurking for years, need advice Uhoh71 Addiction & Recovery 11 10-27-2006 02:25 PM
Battling this for 30 or more years RushingRiver Depression 7 09-13-2005 01:40 PM
Please, Desparately Need Help, Can't Take Much More!! MMS1 Hearing Disorders 22 04-21-2005 08:04 PM
My Story..12 Years With Uneducated Doctors Mileahsmom Thyroid Disorders 1 03-12-2005 10:44 AM
Frustration with 9 years of symptoms, no diagnosis jorob Multiple Sclerosis 11 11-25-2003 01:30 PM

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:16 AM.

Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
© 1998-2018 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!