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kjackson227 07-06-2008 01:12 PM

Empty Nester, Menopause, and Depression
Hello all,

Haven't posted on Healthboards for awhile now. The last time I did was over in the asthma/gerd section when my granddaughter was desperately ill at the time. Well, she's sooo much better now after battling what we first thought was untreatable asthma, but turned out to be gerd which was aggravating the asthma. After getting the gerd under control, her asthma has improved dramatically. Now since we're over the hump as far as her health is concerned, she and her mom have now moved out into their own place, and I am miserable. My daughter and I do not see eye-to-eye where her boyfriend is concerned, and now my granddaughter is at the age where everything granny says and does annoys her, but she seems to ADORE her great grandmother on her grandfather's side (go figure). Sooo, after all of these years of being there for them, they've literally moved on, while at the same time, I'm lucky if they can manage to call me once a day. I've struggled with depression for sometime now, after losing my mom suddenly in 1996, and started taking Zoloft when they moved out the first time about a year or two ago. I knew this day would eventually come back, but when a lot of women would be happy for the newfound freedom, I sometimes think I'm going crazy from the sadness of being alone. I do work and get along famously with my co-workers, but get really sad on the weekends. My daughter invites me over all the time, but I don't want to be a burden. So I'm at home with the ONLY joy in my life, my 100 lb. black lab, Bailey:) If it weren't for him, I don't know what I'd do right now. I didn't think it was possible to love a dog the way I love him. He's always there for me.

Anyway, I've started back on my 25 mg. of Zoloft (I hate the fact that I'm not strong enough to beat this on my own), but I think I'll start taking 50 mg. again as I did in the past because the 25 mg. doesn't seem to be helping.

Hopefully, the Zoloft will start kicking in reaaal soon, lol. This is my story, *edited*
Thanks in advance, and I hope and pray that all of us with this awful disease (is it a disease?) will eventually find peace and happiness.

Maddie50 07-17-2008 06:52 PM

Re: Empty Nester, Menopause, and Depression
Hi there. A lot of what you said rang bells with me too. This last year has been pretty awful for me. My youngest child left home to live with her partner, I was medically retired from my job after 27 years and I am rushing hormonally into the menopause. Most days I suffer from the most awful depression and at the moment the only reason I have to get up is to take my wonderful terrier dog for his walks.

About 9 months ago I was referred for assessment to a wonderful social worker and I have been seeing her ever snce but all good things must end I suppose and as she is a short erm worker and has seen me beyond her remit she has ended our contact and I have no where else to go for support. I was supposed to be having psychotherapy to deal with issues from childhood but the therapist says I am too vulnerable to undergo therapy without other forms of support and I cannot get other forms of support if I have psychotherapy. Meanwhile I take anti depressants, sleeping tablets, tranquilisers, medication for diabetes and folic acid. If you picked me up I would rattle but none of it seems to help. I miss the contact with my social worker so much and feel so rejected by her as she has been the only person I have trusted ever to tell my whole story too and now ......nothing.

Hope there's someone out there listening/reading. I posted on another board but there was no one to respond. Just made me feel lonlier.

MYSISSYGIRLS 07-20-2008 07:53 PM

Re: Empty Nester, Menopause, and Depression
I truly understand how you both feel and what you are going through. I am also in menopause, experiencing empty nest ,depression . I still have a 12 year old at home . However it is so different i raised 4 children and the eldest is 28. My 19 year old is moving tol california this weekend ( i live in ohio) it has upset me so much. I have 3 boys and 1 daughter, 3 grandkids also. I miss so much when i was raising my children and life was so hectic at the time it seems i didnt notice how fast it went by.

Nothin in this time of my life is making sense, the menopause and depression seem to keep me from enjoying my grandkids like i want to , i feel disconnected from the world at times. I also had alot of things from my childhood that i have had therapy for before but it seems to keep coming back to haunt me.
Just so you guys know your not alone and there are days the only way i get by is my antidepressant. Take care

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