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My depression story

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Old 03-05-2009, 10:32 PM   #1
Join Date: Mar 2009
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My depression story

I think this might be insanely history. I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression 5 years ago, and even though I had about three years of therapy, I never feel like I received any constructive advice or help, and the meds they put me on (zoloft, effexor, prozac) did anything for me. So I stopped seeing the therapist and have basically learned to be fake to deal with things.

I started hanging out with a bunch of fake people in college, and busied myself with going to clubs, bars, hooking up... I grasped onto anything that would make me feel better about myself.

Now.. this is my first year in grad school and I'm finding my school work/ life completely overwhelming. It's manifested into a social anxiety and I'm basically alone in my misery right now. Most of my friends know that I fall into these depressed modes where I just complain and can't function well, so they're basically ignoring me at this point.

I started seeing a therapist again, and she wants to start CBT with me. I want to get better, but I feel like it's just not possible.. I've just failed my first exam in my grad school and I just have completely lost my drive to do anything. I'm just sleeping all the day and feel completely miserable and alone.

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Old 03-17-2009, 08:34 PM   #2
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Washington
Posts: 215
zhope HB User
Re: My depression story

I'm sorry you are going through these feelings. I have been there and know what you are going through. First of all, definitely go for the CBT. People with depression say that it can be very helpful. I have been where you are and in therapy that doesn't help the depression, but CBT that gives you specific ways to change your thinking can be very helpful.

As for your friends=people all have different capabilities of dealing with someone in depression. Of the people you know, is there one or two who seem at all understanding moreso than the others? If so, I would urge you to talk to them and tell them exactly what depression is--that it is something that you can't just snap out of like a bad mood, and that what you need is their support and some extra understanding while you go through this. IF you have no friends who understand this, then perhaps look for a support group, either through your school or the community. There are usually free depression support groups where people come and just share what is happening. Through this you can at least talk to people--where you don't have to be "fake".

You can get through this. Find the right people--your therapist and a good friend or two or support group, and any family member who you can call--and keep at it. You can come through this and things WILL get better!

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