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i just want to be happy

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Old 07-01-2009, 11:36 AM   #1
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 1
f0urm0m HB User
i just want to be happy

i am stuck in a vicioius cycle of crying, being sad & hurt. my marriage isn't very good but i have 5 kids. i don't make enough money to strike out on my own . plus i am more than a little afraid of my husbands reaction should i broach that subject.

I feel as though i've failed my children. my husband is an alcoholic with paranoia anger issues. i am trying to hold on for 3 more years when my youngest will be out of high school before i consider unleashing what will surely be an awful disruption for my family. i just want to be happy. that doesn't mean i want that much, i just want my husband to stop drinking & get help for his issues. divorce is something i really don't believe in but i don't see how i can be a fully functioning person if i am crying & sad all the time. it doesn't send a great message to my children either. sometimes i look ahead & i am sadder then ever.

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