It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Share Your Depression Story Message Board

A dutchman's depression

Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 09-09-2011, 04:35 AM   #1
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: netherlands
Posts: 1
limitfull HB User
A dutchman's depression

I am 25, depressed, self-sabotaging and feel stuck in life.

I constantly am looking for things that can lift me up out of my unproductive state of procrastinating and being in a confused and doubtful state of mind.
I find them, temporarily, in music, love, visiting friends, places I visit, but once their effect wears off, I am back to where I was and look for new things.I guess I am very prone to drugs in the form of escapism or trying to adapt mindsets to improve myself, but I do this so often that none of them stick.

I am also caffeine addicted, because I delude myself it will get me started but it doesn't. Generally feel awful when I wake up. I look at a lot of motivational video's, and feel uplifted by it but can't turn that into action. I seem almost incapable of fulfilling even the simplest of tasks on a daily basis. Room is in a constant, unorganised mess. It's like I lack the patience for it, unless there is absolute necessity (like someone visiting, which turns into fear of being found a slob).

Succes and reaching my goals is in my mind but I can't turn it into action. Maybe it's some health condition, like undiagnosed ADD, or something different. A lack of social life on daily basis for example. Or the fact that I have almost zero family left other then my brother and sister (parents died when I was 9 and 16)

I am working on a grad project and have been for over a year, but I can't seem to get it done, and it has turned into a vicious circle of anxiety and constant delay. Instead of actually working on my goal to get my grad project done, I spend my days in a haze of caffeine and browsing the internet for irrelevant garbage that somehow interests me.

I'm sorry for my rambling, I am not a native-English speaker. (am Dutch). I find it very difficult to express my feelings to fellow countrymen because we are a very sober (calvinist) people in general, who have a mentality of "don't complain and just work and live".

Sometimes I can't stand people who just seem to live on auto-pilot, who are happy all the time and don't have all these doubts and crazy things on their mind. I find it hard to communicate with them because they always seem 6 steps ahead of me while my head is in a cloudy haze. Living in a house with a lot of social butterfy roommates worsens this, because it puts a magnifying glass on my lack of succes, peace of mind and social life.
I just feel stuck and hopeless.

Last edited by mentalhealth mod; 09-10-2011 at 06:16 PM.

The following user gives a hug of support to limitfull:
dinroller (12-06-2011)
Sponsors Lightbulb
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Anxiety and Depression molly83 Share Your Depression Story 0 05-16-2010 08:15 PM
Living with Bipolar Disorder (severe depression) jynn0629 Share Your Depression Story 1 10-13-2009 11:04 PM
depression and the effects of depression Puffin Cat Share Your Depression Story 0 08-07-2009 12:59 PM
Recovering from clinical depression Julia20 Share Your Depression Story 0 06-27-2009 02:59 AM
My depression story 2Fly Share Your Depression Story 1 03-17-2009 08:34 PM
My Depression Story martinka Share Your Depression Story 0 01-29-2009 12:50 PM
My ongoing battle w/depression Surfgirl75 Share Your Depression Story 2 01-17-2009 08:31 AM
Incest and 30 some years of deep depression TLCLOVE33 Share Your Depression Story 1 12-12-2008 04:39 PM
Years of depression shelbybear Share Your Depression Story 2 11-22-2008 09:41 AM
i have depression if009 Share Your Depression Story 2 08-03-2007 05:48 PM

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:01 PM.

Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
© 1998-2018 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!