It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Share Your Depression Story Message Board

caught between everything .. I'm losing it

Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 12-06-2011, 11:39 PM   #1
Junior Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: British Columbia
Posts: 11
Blog Entries: 1
simplyfrustrate HB User
caught between everything .. I'm losing it

As each day goes by? I feel like I am losing it bit by bit. I always thought I could battle the world? But this moment? I find myself crying at the most random hours,drinking away my salty tears as if it were water and nobody seems to understand the depths that I am in. I've found myself popping sleeping pills hoping I could just sleep away my problems because waking up the next day just meant more work. I grew up without encouragement's and always were told I was low life trash just like my father. The whom who is my mother? Wouldn't have the nerve to leave the man but tends to take out her frustration and pity upon herself , out on all her children. Expectantly, me because I remind her more of him then any of her other children. Between always being sick and over indulging on food trying to ease the pain? Year's later I ended up getting into drinking and drugs. I stopped for the longest time thinking maybe it's time to go get some schooling because my grades weren't so great in highlights ( upgrading is my only hope )? Stupidly, at that time I was introduced to the biggest mistake of my life. My own version of my father except millions of miles away. I feel for empty promises in hoping a total stranger could love me for who I am. Praying to the god's that this was the end of my life of despair and emotional abuse by my own parents. But did I know? He was abusive just like my old man. Plus, he had 2 different children at the time by 2 different women and 1 woman prego at the time. After enduring 36 bruises from that loser? I ran for it bare foot never looked back. Years later thinking to myself if I stay single I'd have no drama? Sigh* once again I was wrong! Because of me not being able to find a proper paying job? I'm still stuck in my parents house. I have to listen to my drunk of a father drink and swear all day. My mother going off about how great she was in her younger days how she could of done better then my father? Every second of the day she'd tell me that I'm worthless, handicap, not good enough for anyone. If any guy could like me? His family wouldn't accept me because I'm nothing. Being called ; fat stupid and ugly all the time. She says I have no right to be depressed. Listening to them yell all the time they say I have no right to be depressed! Always having to go do their errands and have no life they say I have no rights to be depressed. At this moment ; I don't know if I'm crazy or just simply depressed.

Last edited by Administrator; 12-07-2011 at 02:14 AM.

Sponsors Lightbulb
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
so much to say with such little time msrenaeable Share Your Depression Story 0 04-05-2010 08:29 AM
Down in a hole....... DownInAHole Share Your Depression Story 0 02-02-2010 10:56 AM
Drunken father forty9nash Share Your Depression Story 0 11-19-2009 12:28 AM
My story... LyricsToMyHeart Share Your Depression Story 2 09-27-2009 12:23 AM
unsure got no ideas Share Your Depression Story 1 05-06-2009 07:50 AM
Here I sit wanttoshare Share Your Depression Story 2 03-02-2009 06:47 PM
sinking... BillieDeCat Share Your Depression Story 0 02-03-2009 06:47 PM
chewed up ,spat out Aylesguy Share Your Depression Story 0 12-09-2008 03:46 PM
Empty Nester, Menopause, and Depression kjackson227 Share Your Depression Story 2 07-20-2008 06:53 PM
Nothing to complain about Gia029 Share Your Depression Story 2 12-03-2007 01:03 PM

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:45 PM.

Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
© 1998-2018 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!