Pregnant with Bulimia

Hi all! I'm hoping to gain some support and someone to talk to through what I'm dealing with right now. I'm 28 weeks pregnant and over the last few weeks, I've regressed back to binging and purging. I know this absolutely must stop. However, will all the stress I'm under in my life right now I'm feeling out of control. My husband and I are in the process of divorce. Our home is up for sale, but not selling. I'm at the end of the academic school year (I teach special education) and wish every day that school would be over for this year. With a new baby on the way, trying to raise a 2 1/2 year old that already is a handful and the stress of my relationship/work/home not selling/finances I'm feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. Tonight I had a huge dinner (chicken, vegetables, cottage cheese, ice cream, Twizzlers, animal crackers) and I'm trying to keep myself from throwing it all up (for the sake of the growing baby inside of me). I want to give the child inside of me the right nutrition it needs to grow. But, as you can tell by the meal I ate this evening, I'm eating more than I probably should. I'm afraid of gaining over 40 pounds in this pregnancy (I've gained over 20 so far). I've been suffering from bulimia for about 14 years. I've received treatment many times and have had at least 1 good year of eating throughout the 14 years of suffering. With my 1st pregnancy, I only binged a couple of times. With this pregnancy, I've binged about 10 times in the last 4 weeks. I want to stop. However, I feel so upset and refuse to go back on medication for depression until after the birth of this child. I hope I can make it through these next 12 weeks of pregnancy and hopefully the baby will be born healthy. From there on, I can't wait to go back on medication (Celexa and Welbutrin) and hopefully not face a life of constant binging and purging.

Oh I'm so sorry you are having a rough time at the moment. But you do need to start considering the baby. So have you tried enlisting the help of a friend? Do any of your close friends know what you are going through. Sometimes if you can delay the purge by talking to someone, a 'buddy', then you can sit back and realise that you don't NEED to purge.
Also how about having some other distractions to hand like a book of the developing stages of your baby so you can look up what is happening to it right now. Or a name guide for thinking of good possible names.
My main advice though would be to tell your doctor and/or health visitor imediately. For your sake as well as the babys. You need help to deal with not just the physical symptoms of the bulimia but also the mental anguish you are suffering. It sounds like a hell of a lot of stress is going on right now which is such bad timing for you considering your condition!
So please don't go through all this alone, get help and come here whenever you need a friend to talk to who won't judge you for your bulimia.
All the luck in the world from H xoxoxo

Heya

I second that!!! Welcome to the boards there'll always be someone here to listen, without judging you!

It does sound like you are having a really hard time though. Have you ever had/considered counselling?

Love Emily xXxXx

please think of the baby

Hi there x I'm sorry that you're going through this right now, and I can only imagine how scared you must be. If I'm honest with you, I'm scared for you, and for your unborn child. It is extremely important hun that you get yourself some professional help whilst going through this, not just for the sake of the pregnancy but also for your own health, and for the sake of the child you already have - it needs it's mummy by the sounds of things.
You've suffered from bulimia for a long time, so you know the risks involved, especially during the pregnancy. I understand that the help you have already had maybe hasn't done the world of good as far as recovery goes, but maybe it might help just to get you through having this child and not putting it at risk anymore. I know you are trying your best right now, but please please get some help.
Like the others said, you are more than welcome here, and it's a great place to come when you need some extra support. We are all here for you and I wish you all the very best.

Take good care of yourself,
love ali xxx

Hey and Welcome. I know your feeling hopeless right now, because I think we've all been there. I went through 2 pregnancys with this ed and the guilt is the worst, luckly I had to perfectly healthy children, the stress on your body worries me most. Becuase your baby will take what it needs from your body even if your depriving it (your body) of nutrients. So your more likly to become ill then the baby. If you can try to let other people family or friends know what a struggle your having, and remember to ask for help from them even your ex husband maybe could help out more with your 2 yr old? Tske at least an 1 hr a day to do something you like something that destresses you. And keep only very healthy things around to eat so if you do get alittle excessive eating you won't feel so bad. Rest and try to take care of yourself not only for you and the unborn baby but for your little girl.. I hope the best for you and know you can be strong for the next 12 weeks!! I will be thinking of you and your family. Good Luck and best wishes!!!

Amberley