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    Old 08-01-2004, 09:57 AM   #331
    no patience
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    Re: when does it end

    oh my gosh howard it's so great to finally hear from you i was so worried but then windysan told me you were healing and heard from you from time to time yeah i'm still working very hard at that my boss has lost so much help because i guess now a days people don't like hard work i've been cleaning from 8 in the morning until 5 at night sometimes it's really doing a number on my back but other then that i'm ok so you're down to 8.5 wow are you still suffering any symptoms lets hope not again i'm so glad to hear from you thought maybe i did something wrong but then i thought about it and i know sometimes i just don't feel like getting on the boards to tired so you're part time is that good or bad probably good in the sense you're not over doing it i know this taper has been pretty rough on you well post when you fell up to it aagain it's so great to hear from you big hugs kelleigh
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    Old 08-01-2004, 10:01 PM   #332
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    Re: when does it end

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by no patience
    oh my gosh howard it's so great to finally hear from you i was so worried but then windysan told me you were healing and heard from you from time to time yeah i'm still working very hard at that my boss has lost so much help because i guess now a days people don't like hard work i've been cleaning from 8 in the morning until 5 at night sometimes it's really doing a number on my back but other then that i'm ok so you're down to 8.5 wow are you still suffering any symptoms lets hope not again i'm so glad to hear from you thought maybe i did something wrong but then i thought about it and i know sometimes i just don't feel like getting on the boards to tired so you're part time is that good or bad probably good in the sense you're not over doing it i know this taper has been pretty rough on you well post when you fell up to it aagain it's so great to hear from you big hugs kelleigh
    It`s actually pretty close to a blowout at this point here even with making small cuts. I won`t bother with a symptom list. I do not believe I could work a job with any real excertion or stress and this point, no matter how bad I had to. So its time to make a few more cuts, roll the dice and get on off. We will then see how long the withdrawals last.

    Last edited by howard678; 08-01-2004 at 10:04 PM.

     
    Old 08-03-2004, 12:22 PM   #333
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    Re: when does it end

    howard i'm really sorry i know narcotic w/d and benzo w/d are different but i know kind of what you're going through and i feel for you you have hung in there and that is wonderful i'm praying for the day you can say you feel better again i'm so glad to hear from you but sorry for this ordeal it must be pretty bad if you don't want to name your symptoms i'm here rooting for you i know it does'nt ease the awful symptoms you're feeling but i really am here for you post when you feel ok luv and hugs oh and prayers kelleigh
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    Last edited by no patience; 08-03-2004 at 12:23 PM.

     
    Old 08-07-2004, 10:38 AM   #334
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    Re: when does it end

    hi howard just checking in on you hope all is well i just really hope you're doing ok just a check in luv and hugs kelleigh
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    Old 08-08-2004, 08:13 AM   #335
    windysan
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    Re: when does it end

    Howard is doing well. I speak with him often. He might make a geographical change which will be good for him.

     
    Old 08-08-2004, 09:26 AM   #336
    John 808
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    Re: when does it end

    Howard,

    If you "drop back in here" just wanted you to know I have been thinking of you! I am SO SORRY you have had such a rough go at it but I have no doubt you will make it (I know- little comfort when you are in the midst of what you are in!)! Just continue move forward and know my thoughts and prayers will continue to be with you! You will be happy to know I no longer take ANY (even though I took just 2 or 3 a week) Xanax- started on a different antidepressant (as I have suffered from depression long before my opiate addiction) and it has really helped with my panic attacks/anxiety! I am even sleeping 5-6 hours a night! Thought that might be music to your ears!

    I am almost three months clean with the exception of taking 2 or 3 pain pills throughout some surgical procedures but my addictionologist approved that! I have just had cervical cancer removed and suffered a painful blood clot- have really been "tested!" I managed to stay clean even though I was faced with a very scary situation! I give God all the glory though! I still am having a rough go at it- lethargic, lack of motivation, and general "blahs" every now and then but my addicitonologist said those are the last things to fall into place! No "high on life" feeling yet, but am looking forward to it!

    Anyway- you hang in there and if you'd like- drop me a little post and let me know what's going on! Again, hang in there, my friend!

    Best wishes and God bless,
    michelle

    Last edited by John 808; 08-08-2004 at 09:27 AM.

     
    Old 08-11-2004, 04:21 AM   #337
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    Re: when does it end

    thanks windysan
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    Old 08-13-2004, 03:17 AM   #338
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    Re: when does it end

    hi michelle i haven't talked to you in a long time hope all is good luv kelleigh
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    Old 08-13-2004, 04:40 AM   #339
    Brenda1953
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    Re: when does it end

    I'm a newbie who originally posted here a couple days while beginning a morphine CT.

    However, I have been off benzos for over a year now. 4-6 mgs of Xanax a day which I realize is not a huge dose but not too shabby either. I took it for 5 years.

    I did start with the Ashton protocol. I did not follow it specifically. To be honest, at first my brain was so fogged I couldn't even figure out the switchover plan.

    So I started with 40 mgs of valium. She would recommend 80, a 2 to 1 ratio. I was a zombie!! Valium is a way different drug. Much more sedating. So I cut it to 20 and that worked for me.

    Yes, I had wd symptoms but nothing unbearable.

    I then cut pretty rapidly at first. I cut the dosage in half every two weeks til I got down to 5 mgs then slowed it down. Toward the end at 3 mgs, I just thought I want this poison out of my body. It took me probably 8 months all told. It's a long haul. I kept reading that it's not a race and it's important to keep that in mind becuase it does go slowly.

    Valium is very long acting. I think it's half life can be as long as 200 hours. That was the rationale behind Dr. Ashton's protocol. That the drug would metabolize so slowly, the wd would be minimized.

    Anyway, I switched to restoril and tapered down to 7.5 mgs and quit. Restoril is a big nothing in the benzo world. I really couldn't even tell I was taking it. And when I stopped, my symptoms got no worse.

    It was a long unpleasant trip but does not compare to this nightmare of narcotic wd, IMO. I was never this sick. Sure, I had anxiety, insomnia, little electric shocks, etc. Who cares? I just ignored it.

    And trust me, I'm not trying to start the argument of which wd is worse. Just relating my personal experience.

    Nor am I trying to belittle anyone's experience. I know many people have had horrendous benzo wds. It seems to be an individual thing.

    The bad news is that it seems to rewire your brain permanently. Over a year later and I still suffer from occassional panic attacks and almost daily insomnia. I know they say it doesn't cause permanent brain damage but you can't prove it by me. Maybe it takes longer than a year.

    So get it off it now. Do not listen to the doctors. Listen to us who have been there.

    I loved that Xanax buzz BTW. All the worries of the world just floating away. I think Xanax may be the only benzo that does that. I have pretty much tried them all.

    Brenda

     
    Old 08-14-2004, 09:28 PM   #340
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    Re: when does it end

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by John 3:16
    Thought that might be music to your ears! michelle
    Michelle, hearing from you in and of itself is music to my ears. And the fact that there are people here wondering where I am, how I am doing means a lot to me. It is not something I get much of anywhere else at this moment. This is a bummer, am very vulnerable to stress and sometime I can think my way around it, sometimes I cannot. Sometimes I just get hit with a wave of symptoms out of the blue. I am no longer working, and shortly, am going to taco bell then sit on the back porch for a hour or so.

    I have only two directions to go here, forwards or backwards, backwards means staying on the drugs and increasing doses, forwards means getting on off. I`ll be off in about 3 weeks then perhaps the real fun will begin, or I may get off easy. We will see. Hope all the rest of you are okay.

    Brenda,

    Your benzo story is very interesting, as your benzo withdrawals were not so bad for you and that gives me hope. Yet just as I was jumping for joy you speak of your brain being permanently re-wired and experiencing panic a year off. Wonderful! It is those sorts of testimonies that I avoid at another site. Makes you want to stay on. Like how can a downer (Xanax/Valium) be so destructive? I wish they had not banned the qualludes, the favorite of my youth. Jennita was okay in about 6 weeks but has had long term insomnia. Where are you at Jennita? I down to 7.5 mgs of V.

    P.S. Brenda Valium is much more sedating than Xanax at first but that typically ends in about 5 weeks. Did with me.

     
    Old 08-15-2004, 06:48 AM   #341
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    Re: when does it end

    Howard,

    Nice to see your name on the board, again. :-) I'd been wondering how you were doing--you have had such a tough time. It's so ironic how our bodies all vary when coming off any type of drugs. I, too, have always been stricken with dread when I read those "permanent changes" information. I did read, recently, though, that there is a distinct possibility that the cells in the vicinity of the possible damaged ones, can adapt to taking on some of their capabilities. In any case, it seems that science is still not sure about what constitutes a permanent change....but they say the brain of drug addicts almost always does mend over time. That made me feel a while lot better. I get stressed way to easily by everything I read and learn! I feel obsessed that I completely understand it and all its implications!! (But that's why I needed meds to control my OCD! Before I began to take them...I was constantly lost in a word of tehnicality about anything I read!!! As if I were going for my PhD in each subject! LOL!!) :-)

    How much do you still have to taper? In any case, good luck to you. I know you must be nervous awaiting "D-Day." Lynn :-)

    Am off now to watch all those horrible "talking head" pundits on the Sunday shows..."Meet the Press", etc, etc!! Good way to keep my blood pressure up! LOL!

     
    Old 08-15-2004, 04:52 PM   #342
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    Re: when does it end

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Twinlynn
    Howard,

    Nice to see your name on the board, again. :-) I'd been wondering how you were doing--you have had such a tough time. It's so ironic how our bodies all vary when coming off any type of drugs. I, too, have always been stricken with dread when I read those "permanent changes" information. I did read, recently, though, that there is a distinct possibility that the cells in the vicinity of the possible damaged ones, can adapt to taking on some of their capabilities. In any case, it seems that science is still not sure about what constitutes a permanent change....but they say the brain of drug addicts almost always does mend over time. That made me feel a while lot better. I get stressed way to easily by everything I read and learn! I feel obsessed that I completely understand it and all its implications!! (But that's why I needed meds to control my OCD! Before I began to take them...I was constantly lost in a word of tehnicality about anything I read!!! As if I were going for my PhD in each subject! LOL!!) :-)

    How much do you still have to taper? In any case, good luck to you. I know you must be nervous awaiting "D-Day." Lynn :-)

    Am off now to watch all those horrible "talking head" pundits on the Sunday shows..."Meet the Press", etc, etc!! Good way to keep my blood pressure up! LOL!
    Twinlynn,

    Thanks for the reply. Do you have a benzo withdrawal story of your own? If so, please share. Tell me about how you conquered the bear and soon became a happy go lucky, productive member of society.

    Actually, I cannot wait until "D Day," about a month from now. I am already in considerable withdrawals at 7.5 mgs of Valium. Am surprised I got this low, but am going to try to get to 3.5 before jumping. Getting off means I am on the way to the true healing. I doubt I will be in for many surprises. Have one withdrawal under my belt already.

     
    Old 08-15-2004, 09:37 PM   #343
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    Re: when does it end

    Hi my sister was on the effexor, and so was I Do know what you are going tru, but I think the Effexor is what is the cause of your anxiety. My sister and I have stop that med, and are better. ask your doctor to put you on a other anxiety med.

     
    Old 08-19-2004, 06:38 AM   #344
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    Re: when does it end

    hi howard how are you just wanted to make sure you're doing ok post back soon luv kelleigh
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    Old 08-19-2004, 06:41 AM   #345
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    Re: when does it end

    hi twinnlynn how are you and you're sister doing have'nt talked to you in awhile hope all is well luv kelleigh
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