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    Old 10-12-2004, 04:43 PM   #76
    Ruth6:11
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    Re: I'd be glad to hear input if you've got some...

    Maybe we've been going at this from the wrong direction?
    Everyone's (including myself) first instinct is to give you encouragement that you will meet someone someday. (And I still don't want to discourage that!)

    But the truth is, what if you don't? How does one go about being single forever?
    My Aunt Bette never married. In fact, I never remember her dating even though the rumor was that there was a "fiance" when she was just out of high school.
    She was active in her church (and taught Sunday School for more years than most people are parents).
    She was VERY much a part of her nieces & nephews lives. Most of us used her house as a launching pad for independence.
    She didn't just work, she had a Career (Real Estate) and did continuous further education.
    She was at every birthday party, graduation, school play, musical event, etc.
    She had an avid interest in geneology, knitting, history, reading, and was usually involved in one of these pastimes in the evening.
    She had a couple close friends, and the love of all of us kids.
    I don't know how she dealt with lack of male romantic companionship and now that I'm old enough to be brave enough to ask it is too late to be able to.
    I think she fell back on the Serenity prayer - at least that's how it seems to me in retrospect:

    God, Grant me the Serenity,
    To accept the things I cannot change,
    Courage to change the things I can,
    And the Wisdom to know the difference.

    There are probably a million different way to look at the course your life has taken so far.
    Maybe there are a million things you can choose to do with the rest of it?

     
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    Old 10-13-2004, 06:34 AM   #77
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    Re: I'd be glad to hear input if you've got some...

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Ruth6:11
    Maybe we've been going at this from the wrong direction?
    Everyone's (including myself) first instinct is to give you encouragement that you will meet someone someday. (And I still don't want to discourage that!)

    But the truth is, what if you don't? How does one go about being single forever?
    My Aunt Bette never married. In fact, I never remember her dating even though the rumor was that there was a "fiance" when she was just out of high school.
    She was active in her church (and taught Sunday School for more years than most people are parents).
    She was VERY much a part of her nieces & nephews lives. Most of us used her house as a launching pad for independence.
    She didn't just work, she had a Career (Real Estate) and did continuous further education.
    She was at every birthday party, graduation, school play, musical event, etc.
    She had an avid interest in geneology, knitting, history, reading, and was usually involved in one of these pastimes in the evening.
    She had a couple close friends, and the love of all of us kids.
    I don't know how she dealt with lack of male romantic companionship and now that I'm old enough to be brave enough to ask it is too late to be able to.
    I think she fell back on the Serenity prayer - at least that's how it seems to me in retrospect:

    God, Grant me the Serenity,
    To accept the things I cannot change,
    Courage to change the things I can,
    And the Wisdom to know the difference.

    There are probably a million different way to look at the course your life has taken so far.
    Maybe there are a million things you can choose to do with the rest of it?
    Thanks Ruth. I think some people do well alone, and some people don't. We're all different and we all have different needs. I know myself well enough to know that if I never get to make love, never get to have someone to hold, kiss, or share my life with, it will always leave a deep dark hole in me, no matter how involved I get in other activities. That's just who I am, that's how I was made. We'll see what happens.

     
    Old 10-13-2004, 07:12 AM   #78
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    Re: I'd be glad to hear input if you've got some...

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Ninispjc
    Thanks Ruth. I think some people do well alone, and some people don't. We're all different and we all have different needs. I know myself well enough to know that if I never get to make love, never get to have someone to hold, kiss, or share my life with, it will always leave a deep dark hole in me, no matter how involved I get in other activities. That's just who I am, that's how I was made. We'll see what happens.
    I totally understand that. To me, I think I'd rather die young than have the life like Ruth's aunt. I don't know but this image just fills me with complete and utter terror. Sleeping in your bed alone for the REST of your life just seems more than most women would want to handle. Hopefully this won't be the case. I mean, if it scares us so much, it should scare men too, right? Do most men dream of ending up alone in a nursing home, with no wife or kids by their side? I don't get it.

     
    Old 10-13-2004, 09:39 AM   #79
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    Re: I'd be glad to hear input if you've got some...

    Ninispjc

    I've followed your story, seven years is a very long time to still be crying daily over a break up. I can identify w/certain aspects; first love later in life with a devastating end, but I also realize there comes a point when you stop holding on to the anguish, because it's the only thing that makes you feel alive, and begin to put the pieces back together and move forward.

    That said, I don't believe your breakup was so painful, so deep and so irrepairable that nothing short of Divine Intervention can help you. A bolt of lightning? Bumping in to Mr Right at the laundry? That's fantasy, in leaving the path your life takes COMPLETELY out of your hands.

    I know you've tried everything; counseling, meds, dating service, work, volunteering..etc... and you're right-----none of that works UNLESS your willing to take an active role. Otherwise, your just going through the motions.
    I don't know why you are dating. Even though it's been 7 years, it's still 'like yesterday' for you emotionally. Therefore, what do you expect? Of course, no one is 'suitable'. For starters, you may look to have it 'all together' on the outside, but anyone out there (guys included!) can sense your GAPING emotional wound. No amount of smiling and feigned interest on your part can mask that, they can't run away fast enough. Secondly, aren't you looking for your ex in these guys? that familiar 'spark'? so you can pick up where things left off and have the happy ending you want? Maybe, once you shed your baggage, if you explored a little further, you might actually find something BETTER and more enduring in on of these guys?

    I'm not trying to beat you up, I'm trying to empower you. I'm trying to get you to give yourself a chance at happiness, afterall. This has nothing to do w/your ex, or his wife, or why he lied, or closure or anything else at this point. YOU are standing in your own way. Period.

    Have you thought maybe your Divine Intervention came 7 yrs ago, when he left? That you've been looking at this all wrong? Instead of crying 'why did he leave me?' How about, 'He was rather jealous of my talents, self-centered, and he stood on none of the principles he claimed..what a phony...GOOD RIDDANCE!' You loved him and he hurt you, I'm sorry for that, it was beyond your control. Continuing to pine for him as your only chance at love and happiness is unrealistic and it is completely WITHIN your control to put it in the past (where it belongs) and move forward.

    Stop trying to heal by outside distractions, it's like a sore that won't heal...you have to do the hard stuff, look inside --self -evaluation; what are your fears? It's easy to pine for the one that's gone, than to risk getting hurt again.
    So, if you really want to get on w/your life, stop looking toward the Heavens and start looking in the mirror.

    BTW, I speak from experience..at the ripe age of 30, I thought my life was over, the pain was crushing when he left...but I found love again, and am happily married because I CHOSE to. Rarely do we get through life w/out pain, and you are no exception, Ninispjc. Until you put stubborness and rationalizing aside and ACCEPT what happened (as it happened...because that is ALL you will EVER have to work with--no final speeches/explanations from him or you) and decide to move forward, you'll stay on this merry-go-round of bitterness and resentment, indefinitely.

     
    Old 10-13-2004, 10:09 AM   #80
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    Re: I'd be glad to hear input if you've got some...

    Kay good post. although I dont know if Nini will like it too much at first. I was just thinking that maybe you might not be giving other guys a fair chance??? Have you met anyone face to face and actually been on a physical date? I just cant believe that from all the dates you have been on in these last 7 years that no one has expressed an interest in you??? Maybe you are comparing all these guys to your ex and by doing that you become dissapointed before even giving them a chance?? I dont know I am just thinking of some things that might be going on so that if they are it might help you out some.

     
    Old 10-13-2004, 12:17 PM   #81
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    Re: I'd be glad to hear input if you've got some...

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by soulster
    Kay good post. although I dont know if Nini will like it too much at first. I was just thinking that maybe you might not be giving other guys a fair chance??? Have you met anyone face to face and actually been on a physical date? I just cant believe that from all the dates you have been on in these last 7 years that no one has expressed an interest in you??? Maybe you are comparing all these guys to your ex and by doing that you become dissapointed before even giving them a chance?? I dont know I am just thinking of some things that might be going on so that if they are it might help you out some.
    Let's see, trying to asnwer the last two posts at the same time...Kay asked what am I afraid of? Not sure to what this is referring, but actually, when I go out on a date, the first thing I think is "what if he likes me more than I like him then I have to do the awful, dreaded "let's just be friends" speech." I just hate having to do that. I don't know, I'm a big believer in chemistry. Not love at first sight, but I really just have to feel "something" within the first date or two. I mean, after you've had a nice dinner, nice conversation, and you still just don't want to kiss him, even though you haven't kissed anyone in 7 years, that's not saying much. But if you meant what am I most afraid of in life, generally, it would be being alone for the rest of it.

    Now, regarding have I given these guys a chance? Yes, I think I have. I went out with one man, actually when my ex and I were on a "just friends" period, and I really enjoyed the date, the restaurant was great, and the little place he took me to afterward for drinks was great, but he was just a little over the top. I don't like to practice my religion out in the open so blatently, I hold pretty firmly to Matthew 6:5 and 6:6, and he was one of these guys who wanted to hold hands and say grace out loud right there at the table, he liked city life whereas I would never want to raise kids in the city, suburban schools are much better, etc. and I was a little put off by his comment that Demi Moore "prostituted herself" in her movie Striptease. That started a conversation on male and female roles in society, and we had some pretty serious parting of the ways on that issue, so I just didn't press it. I just wasn't feeling it. I don't know, did I give this guy a fair chance? I think I did. I mentioned in another thread a few months back about another guy I dated who told me about his "first time" when he and his cousin took turns on some girl, then he told me I had nice breasts, then asked me if I was stubborn, and I was truthful and admitted a bit of a stubborn streak and he muttered "well, you blew that one." And he carried on a little about my hair being black, because I told him on the phone it was dark brown, and he said I reminded him of his ex fiance and he was freaking out because of it. Did I give him a fair shot? Well, I think I did. I've met men that I have been attracted to, that I would like to date, but they're always already married or hooked up, or just not interested. You're welcome to your opinion that it's impossible to hide my pain and people pick up on it, but I respectfully disagree. I let it all hang out here on these boards. My brother and my mother have both commented on how strange and amazing it is that I can sound so happy and up when talking to other people, because they know this side of me too, but they both have admitted that I hide it very very well when I want to. I am never anything but up, smiling and jovial on dates, but not overly so.

    Am I looking for my ex? Well, that would be more than a little self-defeating, yes? It didn't work with my ex, so why would I look for someone else just like him? No, I don't believe that's what I'm doing. I'm just looking for a nice guy who doesn't bore me to tears, likes some of the same things I do, can keep a conversation going, and who I find attractive. I know that not-great looking guys can become cuter when you get to know how great they are, which is why I went out on my last date even though I wasn't really attracted to his picture, I though maybe he'd look better in person, or maybe if he didn't, he'd be so cool that I wouldn't care what he looked like. Then I found out on the date that, although music is my life, he doesn't even listen to the radio. He was carrying a book by some author I'd never heard of, and he's conservative and I'm more liberal. Even so, I was open to another date, but he emailed me and said he was going to pursue another relationship, see ya.

    So, I don't know. You could be right, but if so, I just don't see where I'm bleeding from every pore in front of these guys, trying to make them my ex, not giving them a chance, etc. I wish you could see me in some social situation. Believe me, you wouldn't recognize me. Just, ever since I was a little girl, people just aren't drawn to me. I don't know why. They just never have been. There have only been two or three people in my entire life outside my parents and brothers that I have achieved any sort of emotional intimacy with. My ex was one such person. The thing I miss the most is our conversations. Even when we would disagree, I could talk to him for hours and love every minute of it. Am I looking for that? I mean, it was one of those relationships where we finished each other's sentences, or one of us would tell a joke or see something on tv, and everyone else in the room would be like "huh? ok" and we'd be the only two cracking up. Once you've had that, it's hard to imagine never having it again. Yes, I guess you could say that's the one thing about my last relationship that I would like to recapture, is someone I can talk with, have a connection with. But doesn't everyone want that? I suppose what makes this hard for me is that before I met my ex, I was resigned to living my whole life alone. I had gone through high school, college, all of my 20s without being kisses, without a date at all, so I had accepted that that's just the way it was going to be. Then I got a little taste of what I was missing, and like Hugh Grant said in Notting Hill, "it's as if I'd taken love heroine and I can never have it again." I can't go back to being ok with living the rest of my life alone again, and I can't find another SO. which puts me in a pretty sucky place.

    Last edited by Ninispjc; 10-13-2004 at 02:31 PM.

     
    Old 10-13-2004, 12:31 PM   #82
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    Re: I'd be glad to hear input if you've got some...

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Ninispjc
    Now, regarding have I given these guys a chance? Yes, I think I have. .

    Hi Nini

    I have kept quiet for sometime on this post because I wanted to see how it would develope. There has been alot of helpful information here and I want to thank everyone for giving thier piece and trying to help things out with you.

    I highlighted this part to your last post because you seem very unsure if you are giving chances. We have talk about this before as you remember but why not just give a guy a further chance?

    I know you have tried many things but in your last post the Demi Moore commit turned to off from him. I know its not what you wanted to hear but in cases like that what else do you look for? When a man turns you off like that are you willing to look beyond?

    I only stress on this because people do say stupid things on dates just to make conversation. I am sure thats what he meant by it. As for other guys though maybe you should seek a little deeper and see what they are all about. First dates are not always the best because both people are uncomfortable and feels out of place. Give the chance and see what that man may be all about.

    I dont know if this helps any but I feel I needed to add this. Thanks for reading.

    Jeff

     
    Old 10-13-2004, 02:23 PM   #83
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    Re: I'd be glad to hear input if you've got some...

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by eightball61
    Hi Nini

    I
    I highlighted this part to your last post because you seem very unsure if you are giving chances. We have talk about this before as you remember but why not just give a guy a further chance?

    I know you have tried many things but in your last post the Demi Moore commit turned to off from him. I know its not what you wanted to hear but in cases like that what else do you look for? When a man turns you off like that are you willing to look beyond?

    Jeff

    Well, like I said, it was the Demi Moore comment that led to a discussion about men's and women's roles and it was that discussion that put me off more than just the little Demi Moore comment. He was very old fashioned and had strick ideas about women, and what they should wear, and what they should do around the house, women shouldn't be soldiers, shame on women who try to be police officers or firefighters, etc and it didn't really match my philosophy very well at all. I met him through a Christian dating service. I tried it because I was looking for someone with strong morals, no smoking, no excessive drinking, no drugs whatsoever, some spirituality. But most of the guys in this service also happened to be chauvanist pigs.

    Actually, I'm not really confused about whether I give men a fair chance. I feel I do. The question was more to you guys than to myself. For example, the date I had last week, the guy was bald, glasses, nerdy, not my physical type at all, but I did my level best to enjoy the date, the food the conversation, etc. I sincerely thanked him for dinner, told him I looked forward to chatting with him more, etc. But he said he wanted to pursue someone else. So it wasn't me who ended it there.
    When you feel like you've tried everything humanly possible, you've smiled and laughed and made witty banter all you can, what more can you do than at some point, to just turn it over to God? I don't know.

     
    Old 10-13-2004, 02:35 PM   #84
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    Re: I'd be glad to hear input if you've got some...

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Ninispjc

    Actually, I'm not really confused about whether I give men a fair chance. I feel I do. The question was more to you guys than to myself. For example, the date I had last week, the guy was bald, glasses, nerdy, not my physical type at all, but I did my level best to enjoy the date, the food the conversation, etc. I sincerely thanked him for dinner, told him I looked forward to chatting with him more, etc. But he said he wanted to pursue someone else. So it wasn't me who ended it there.
    When you feel like you've tried everything humanly possible, you've smiled and laughed and made witty banter all you can, what more can you do than at some point, to just turn it over to God? I don't know.

    The guy last week is doing what you are doing and thats dating around. Dont give up because you are not finding anyone. You got it going on gal...

    To me it sounded like in the post that you weren't giving them a fair chance but after this explanation it seems you do. What I am trying to say is just look a little deeper. I know what you are looking for but you have to give or take because you won't find a guy that will have everything you want. You will eventually but it will take a long time. You could give someone a chance that is just missing one piece to the puzzle and may find out that you can bare without that because you see other qualities that you may like.

    I hope I am making sense here. I am not you and I am not telling you how to date but I just want to help out some and again thanks for taking the time Nini.

     
    Old 10-13-2004, 02:36 PM   #85
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    Re: I'd be glad to hear input if you've got some...

    I think Kay's post was really great, but I also understand what Nini is saying. I think sometimes it really has to do with "fate." Once you make the decision to let go of the ex and say to yourself that it's over for good, sometimes even that realization is enough to start putting things in motion. Yes, I believe you can meet "Mr. Right" almost anywhere. I met my ex-boyfriend at a laundry..he didn't turn out to be exactly Mr. Right, but still. The place doesn't matter, even what you do about it sometimes doesn't matter. I really think it has to do with the combination of "fate" and emotional readiness. My friend's relative was 35 when she met the right guy; 36 when she got married and the guy was only 30. She was blonde, attractive, took care of herself, and the sweetest person, but somehow she wasn't meeting the right man. She wasn't even dating much, for that matter. Then, out of the blue, something broke in her house, and her older co-worker offered the help of her son. She sent the son over, and the rest, as they say, was history. I met this woman, she couldn't be happier now. She said she used to cry and feel sad because she felt like, even though she is a good person, luck somehow abandoned her when it comes to love. She thought she would probably never marry. And she's probably in her late 40s now, so in that generation, if you didn't marry young, you were often left without many options. Stories like this one are really uplifting and really show that sometimes it's just a matter of "timing." And that not everything is within our control. Yes, it's good to give someone a fair chance, but I think if after a reasonable number of dates, one can't feel any emotional connection, what's the point? Sometimes we just have to rely on sheer faith. Taking action is good, but it's not enough, as Kay pointed out.

     
    Old 10-13-2004, 02:43 PM   #86
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    Re: I'd be glad to hear input if you've got some...

    But is there a such thing as Mrs. Right or Mr. Right??? Some say no and some say yes. I believe in it to some degree but that is because I could say I have Mrs. Right now and if we divorce then I was wrong. Then I would meet someone else and go through that whole cycle again.

    A person to me has to believe in themselves first and have faith. Once that has been acomplished then they have the power to acheive or strive for any goal that they want. You have to be positive and accept what comes and goes and just move foward as time passes by.

    Last edited by eightball61; 10-13-2004 at 02:50 PM.

     
    Old 10-13-2004, 02:47 PM   #87
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    Re: I'd be glad to hear input if you've got some...

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by eightball61
    A person to me has to believe in themselves first and have faith. Once that has been aacomplished then they have the power to acheive or strive for any goal that they want. You have to be positive and accept what comes and goes and just move foward as time passes by.
    I absolutely agree with this. It's not easy for most people, no doubt, but it does seem that the people who have a positive outlook on life and expect good things to happen to them, generally achieve their dreams. Good point, Jeff.

     
    Old 10-13-2004, 02:54 PM   #88
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    Re: I'd be glad to hear input if you've got some...

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by SophiaM
    I absolutely agree with this. It's not easy for most people, no doubt, but it does seem that the people who have a positive outlook on life and expect good things to happen to them, generally achieve their dreams. Good point, Jeff.

    Thanks Soph,

    I have always been negative for many reasons. In the past year with help of the boards and my GF I was able to see better. I did alot of things I had dreams for. People can have dreams but they have to put it into action in order for it to work. Not all dreams come true but working to that goal does help and has other benefits on the side.

    Nini, may never get her ex but if she works on her dream and stay focused enough then she may reach her other goal of finding a good man and that will be a huge benefit to her. I like Nini alot and she is a great asset to these boards. Like everyone else though she needs our help to get her on that course. She helped me and now I am here to offer my word.

     
    Old 10-13-2004, 04:23 PM   #89
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    Re: I'd be glad to hear input if you've got some...

    Yeah, Jeff. God knows I'm often cynical and pessimistic myself, but this mindset usually doesn't help. Nini is a wonderful, insightful, smart woman, and she has shown on many occasions to have a great sense of humor, so I know all is not lost for her! I know that the funny, self-confident, opinionated part is the REAL Nini. She just has to bring it out in the open more often. The ex guy is a loser in comparison to her and I wish she could see it as clearly as we do. We all have the potential to get hurt by some loser. This is just life. I was hurt by someone who was in many respects a great guy, but still not great enough for me. I often feel angry at him because of what happened, but at the same time, I have to acknowledge that he did have a lot of good qualities, better than the guy I dated before him, and the guys after him. No doubt, this man was the most important person in my life, and he, too, married someone else who didn't fit his originally professed characteristics. It hurt like hell, but I eventually was able to accept it, and now I don't have any more romantic feelings for my ex fiance. None at all. And I lived with him for a few years; he treated me very well, for the most part. He just couldn't commit to me, and there was another big problem, which is haunting me now as a result of this. So, my point is, you CAN get over it, no matter how much it hurts. Poeple find love again after decades of being stuck in a bad marriage! That is truly incredible. So, by the same token, almost anyone can find love, when they're open enough to it. Patience plays a huge part as well. Yes, at 40 it might feel like there's nothing else you can expect from life, but life sometimes surprises you. YOU sometimes surprises you. All I can say is, never be rigid in your views, and never say "never." I've done things in my life I would never in a million years expect of myself. Because I kept an open mind, for better or worse.

     
    Old 10-13-2004, 09:43 PM   #90
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    Re: I'd be glad to hear input if you've got some...

    Hey Nini,

    Who knows if it's fate or its just the product of meeting enough people to find one that is suitable for you??? Who knows if love is really some cosmic unearthing of gods destiny or just the meshing of two brains with the same neurochemical firings and circuits meeting and coming together?? But, I do hope you the best in finding a great guy who meets your emotional and all other needs. You really seem to be a great person, I dont know why you feel you dont have what it takes to attract people into your life... look at how many of us you have already hooked

    Last edited by soulster; 10-13-2004 at 09:46 PM.

     
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