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  • hi, I'm new to the boards << ritalin addict

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    Old 11-19-2004, 09:31 PM   #1
    MyRealityisFake's Avatar
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    hi, I'm new to the boards << ritalin addict

    Hi I'm new to the boards and I just wanted to tell a little about myself. I'm pretty young, I'm only 14 (turning 15 this december 4th), and I'm having a real tough past few years. I felt as if I needed to register myself to a message board of some sort so that I can keep myself in tact with reality. I'm having a difficult time with that lately.
    I smoke pot and I do the occasional mushrooms every now and then. I dont drink because of the alcoholism in my family and just my plain fear of alcoholics. My mom is recovering recently the past 6 or so months from an alcohol and narcotic relapse she had in the summer after the past 10 years of being sober.
    Back in 7th grade I started using and experimenting with other drugs, such as narcotics and OTC pills. Last spring I fell into a complete relapse of narcotic abuse. I did hit rock bottom. I was failing school and for 3 months straight I stayed home, popped a bunch of barbituates and downers and tranquilizers, and slept from 6 in the morning to as late as 10 oclock at night all day without disturbance. The only way for me to deal with all of the **** that was going on with me and my family and what not, I felt was to sleep it all away. For me it was the next best thing to being dead and ridding of all of my pain and troubles.
    Well eventually I unenrolled from school and partook in homeschooling, and I collected myself back together slowly but surely. But the first week of summer I was out with friends and was in a bad place at the wrong time and I ended up getting busted by the cops for dealing all of the narcotics I used to abuse. I had been dealing for a year before I started abusing them that fall. I sold oxycontin and downers and tranquilizers and all sorts of pills. I had over 65 pills in my possession when I got busted.

    Well the summer went pretty smooth after that. I did a lot of mushrooms, smoked a lot of pot, and everything became happy. I was happy.
    Now school started up again and its 4 weeks away from the end of the cemester and I'm failing. I'm also abusing ritalin. And occasionally I'll indulge in some vicodin.
    But the ritalin, it's a new drug for me, I had never done it before just a month or so ago. But I quickly found out that I had become addicted.
    It doesnt put me down like the other drugs, until I go without it for a short period of time and I get the worst withdrawals I've ever felt.
    But the addiction hurts. I know I've lost control and I get sick when I think of being addicted again.

    The way I treat my body, the added drugs such as the mushrooms and the ritalin, dont help. I've had several eating disorder evaluations done on me in hospitals because I have a really ********** up eating habit. Yes I do think I have an eating disorder, but the last thing I want to do is let the world know about that as well. I can control my eating issue now. But my immune system will nearly crash on me every now and then. I find myself at least once every 3 weeks waking up one morning keeling over the toilet and barely being able to walk and move and breathe even. One time I was even taken to the hospital and put on IV's. They didnt know what was wrong, they thought I was just dehydrated.

    Well thats about all I have to say for the meantime. I hope to recieve help and possibly share my own advice on this board, I really need this to cope with everything right now. I've always turned to writing, any means of writing, as a coping skill of mine.

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    Old 11-19-2004, 11:38 PM   #2
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    Re: hi, I'm new to the boards << ritalin addict

    Oh, Honey,how smart you are.I am so sorry that you are going thru this,and have developed this disease called addiction.Welcome to these boards,you've come to the right place,a good beginning.To tell you a little about MYSELF,I,too am a recovering addict,mainly painkillers,and it hurts me to know someone so young is going thru this misery.I have six children,and in fact,this coming Monday am putting MY 14-year old son into a psychiatric hospital for substance abuse and depression.He is smoking marijuana,hasn't yet graduated to anything stronger,but weed has become a big problem,and he now admits he needs help.So do you,sweetie,you have an awful big problem for someone so young.Have you ever been hospitalized for detox/rehab before??Would it be possible for you to receive that kind of treatment??Not only would you be detox'd,but a good program for teenagers will also teach new coping skills,other healthier ways to deal with your stress. Since it appears you have a family history of substance abuse,and you have seen first hand how horrible and destuctive addiction can be,I know you can't want to live the rest of your life like this.I'm thinking your mom must be aware of your problem???Are you able to talk to her about it??I can't say enough that I really feel you need inpatient treatment at a hospital,seek help NOW,while you are young and get yourself out of this nightmare.It only gets SO MUCH WORSE!!Tell us what kind of help you need,what kind of help you want if you don't have access to or don't know how to find out the information you need.And tell me a little bit more about yourself-you sound like a very intelligent young teenager that's very articulate with a lot of potential.You DON'T want to throw that away.And, I'm not sure,I don't think you mentioned it,are you male or female??Just so I know how to refer to you when I post!!Also, what area/state are you in??I hope to hear from you soon,and so hope you get outside help real soon.Please let me know what's going on,and how you're doing.God bless you...


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