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  • My BF never calls ME BACK!!!

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    Old 01-20-2005, 08:01 PM   #1
    alwysasweetie21
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    Question My BF never calls ME BACK!!!

    Ok ....so I don't know if I am being silly, or if this is a legit issue.
    Well I am in a new relationship, with a guy I am in madly in love with. As he is with me...so he says! and we have been together for 2 months.
    But anyways....I am having problems with him calling me back. We live about 45 minutes away, and are broke college students, so therefore we are not able to see one another as often as we would like.
    So all thats left is talking on the phone, which I will take, since thats what has to do now.
    But I call him, I would say 95 percent of the time. And we will be on the phone for like 5 or 10 minutes...15 if I am lucky, and then he has something he needs to go do, and says, let me call you back.
    So hours go by...and still no call, and alot of the time, he doesn't call back at all.
    The first couple times, I didn't want to press the issue, so I blew it off, but now its beginning to irritate me, and makes me kind of insecure about us....although when we see each other, theres definetely something electric going on
    The thing is is that this is the only communication that we can have, and its almost as if he doesn't care....but he says he does, and that he really wants to see me.
    So I just need some advice on women who have had experiences with this and how to deal with it. And also men, since a guys perspective would definetely help
    I just want to know if I am just being stupid on worrying about this....or if its a reason to worry.....Any advice would be of great help!!!
    THANKS!!!

     
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    Old 01-20-2005, 08:05 PM   #2
    Soulcatcher
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    Re: My BF never calls ME BACK!!!

    You want the best advice ever?..........QUIT CALLING HIM! It's pretty simple. You have the thrill of the chase. If he really is "into you" then he will call and keep calling. Quit worrying about him calling and look for a new boyfriend. Good luck.

     
    Old 01-20-2005, 08:12 PM   #3
    alwysasweetie21
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    Re: My BF never calls ME BACK!!!

    Well...thanks SoulCatcher for the advice...but I don't know if I really want to go so far as to look for another bf....we honestly love one another.
    He does tell me to call him...so I figure he wouldn't say that if he didn't want to talk to me.
    But I think I may just lay off a bit, and see what happens. I guess after a day or so from not hearing from me, he'll be wondering why the heck I haven't called.

    Last edited by alwysasweetie21; 01-20-2005 at 08:13 PM.

     
    Old 01-20-2005, 08:15 PM   #4
    lisa24
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    Re: My BF never calls ME BACK!!!

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by alwysasweetie21
    But I think I may just lay off a bit, and see what happens. I guess after a day or so from not hearing from me, he'll be wondering why the heck I haven't called.
    Yes, give him time to start thinking about you.

     
    Old 01-20-2005, 08:20 PM   #5
    Soulcatcher
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    Re: My BF never calls ME BACK!!!

    If he LOVES you so much then why can he not find the time to pick up the phone and call? There are phones everywhere now adays. Then when you do talk it's only for ten minutes roughly? He may not want to hurt your feelings. He tells you to call so you feel like there is a relationship. I know it's easier for me being outside of the story but your getting a big RED flag and your blowing it off. I would lay off for a bit. He'll wonder why your laying back of course and then the phone calls will stop both ways. I'm 33 and usually it would be me that did NOT return phone calls because I had something better to do. No one is THAT busy to not call their "loved" one. I wish you the best.

     
    Old 01-20-2005, 08:29 PM   #6
    Alexandra789456
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    Re: My BF never calls ME BACK!!!

    I dunno.. guys suck on the phone. I wouldn't take it personally. Just make the effort to see him more and get him to see u more etc.., 45 mins is nothing?!?! Get a part-time job to pay for a bus ticket if you're that broke lol. My bf is bad with the phone too.. it's a guy thing.

     
    Old 01-20-2005, 08:36 PM   #7
    alwysasweetie21
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    Re: My BF never calls ME BACK!!!

    He did say he would give me a call later tonight...but I am not expecting it....and I am not going to call him, and I am going to let him call me. Although its extremely hard to not call him, but I am going to resist the urge. I also think that he will call back. After all he was the one that sought me out, and confessed to me first that he loved me....and really we have a lot to talk about when we are together, and we enjoy each others company so much, I just think that hes not a real conversationalist over the phone, which I know alot of guys are not...but I am sticking with my gut, in saying that he would not totally blow me off....but I will post again when he calls...so we will see!!!

     
    Old 01-20-2005, 08:44 PM   #8
    Soulcatcher
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    Re: My BF never calls ME BACK!!!

    Good girl! You stick to your guns. Your too special to be treated that way and it seems like you have a good heart. He should have respect and do what he says he's going to do. I know the urge your having wanting to call him. I know I know I know. Guys like the thrill of the chase too, so you being unavailable at times and YOU cutting the conversation short might be a bit of a challenge and he might like that. You said he sought you out and he confessed his love for you right? So apparently HE likes to be in charge.....let him do the chasing!. Good luck

     
    Old 01-20-2005, 09:40 PM   #9
    Dream0n83
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    Re: My BF never calls ME BACK!!!

    I think soulcatcher was right. If he is so into you and feeling you why doesnt he call? My b/f cant go a day w/out calling me and vise versa. We dont have to confrim a call from one another because we both know it will happen.

    i too think if he was "that" interested that he'd be all about calling you. I know my b/f isnt a big phone guy, but he talks to me for more then 10min!!!

    No offense, but a telephone relationship seems like a waste of time in your case. You cant afford to drive 45min away and neither can he? I'd get out while it's still fresh and wont hurt later down the road.

     
    Old 01-21-2005, 12:44 AM   #10
    hearttoheart
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    Re: My BF never calls ME BACK!!!

    Ok...GUYS HATES TALKING ON THE PHONE! That's just how it is..I have never ever had a bf that could talk for a long time at the phone...Have you noticed that they often seem like they are a bad mood when they talk in the phone?

    That's just how they are...If I were you. QUIT calling him! Its' better to save all you need to say until the weekends. Then you will have so much to talk about. Have fun together and spend time being real sweethearts.

    Also; Let him get the chance to miss you a bit. If you don't get to see that one person for a coupple of days; It will be intense when you first see eachother

    I know it can be hard sometimes, especially in this early stage in the relationship, but it is a great way to keep those "just fell in love" feelings stronger....

    Good luck Hon

     
    Old 01-21-2005, 11:12 AM   #11
    Hoop
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    Re: My BF never calls ME BACK!!!

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by alwysasweetie21
    He did say he would give me a call later tonight...but I am not expecting it....

    Neither am I. LOL I am guessing he didn't call.

    You reallly need to hold back and let him call you. Let him think that you are losing some interest in him by you not calling him so often. If he initiated an interest in you in the first place, he may think you may be seeing another guy and have lost interest in calling him so much.

    Humans have a natural tendency to want what they don't have, what they can't have, what is hard to get,..... more so than what is easily obtained.

     
    Old 01-21-2005, 11:42 AM   #12
    Ninispjc
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    Re: My BF never calls ME BACK!!!

    I gotta agree with Soulcatcher on this one. How can you tell the difference between a real nice guy and a guy who's just pretending to be nice? The real nice guy does what he says he's going to do, when he says he's going to do it. Men aren't bad on the phone, they only hate talking to people they really don't feel like talking to. My ex and I used to have long phone conversations, sometimes for 2 hours at a time. He would call me at work just before my lunch break just to say hi and he was thinking of me. I could tell when things were going south and he was getting ready to dump me when...he stopped calling when he said he would. Remember, men find it very very satisfying to get what they want. Men are never too busy to get what they want or to do what makes them feel good. If talking to you was what he wanted and what made him feel good, that's what he'd do. If he were concerned that you would go off and meet someone else, being so far away and all, he'd make sure you weren't doing so, by keeping in contact with you.

     
    Old 01-21-2005, 12:41 PM   #13
    lisa24
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    Re: My BF never calls ME BACK!!!

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Ninispjc
    Men are never too busy to get what they want or to do what makes them feel good. If talking to you was what he wanted and what made him feel good, that's what he'd do. If he were concerned that you would go off and meet someone else, being so far away and all, he'd make sure you weren't doing so, by keeping in contact with you.
    Wow, that really makes me feel lousy now. That just about sums all the guys I've ever know. It really is me?

    No, no let's just pretend guys don't like talking on the phone. Makes me feel better that way.

     
    Old 01-21-2005, 12:46 PM   #14
    Ninispjc
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    Re: My BF never calls ME BACK!!!

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by lisa24
    Wow, that really makes me feel lousy now. That just about sums all the guys I've ever know. It really is me?

    No, no let's just pretend guys don't like talking on the phone. Makes me feel better that way.
    Oh, sorry lisa, didn't mean to make you feel bad! I do think there may be some truth to the notion that some guys just don't like to talk on the phone. But there's a difference between keeping conversations short, and telling someone I'll call you at 3 and not calling for another 4 or 5 days.

    and no, I don't think it's you. You just haven't met the right guy for you yet. Keep the faith. God's timing is perfect.

     
    Old 01-21-2005, 03:27 PM   #15
    Dream0n83
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    Re: My BF never calls ME BACK!!!

    Hey...here's another good example for you! My b/f lost his cell phone today, that is his only phone source at his apartment other then his roommates cell. He made it a point to get his brother to call me and let me know tonight he lost his cell today and couldnt find it b4 work....

    You see...I think he could be making a better effort...

    Oh yeah...did he call you back last night?!

     
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