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    Old 06-02-2005, 02:36 AM   #1
    I_M_Scared
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    Preoccupied with thoughts

    Hi. I am new here and am having a horrible time of late. I have always been a worrier. Well, lately, I have had repetitive intrusive thoughts. I am pretty convinced that I will be diagnosed soon with a panic/anxiety disorder. My question is this:
    Does anyone replay seemingly innocent happenings in your lives and then panic over them? Like you said or did something that was no big deal at the time, and a few days later you begin to obsess about what others thought of that same thing? That maybe you did something bad or wrong-or that other people are angry at you?
    I feel like I am loosing my mind. I can't stop worrying about things, I can't sleep, my mind whirls around in circles over things I cannot control.
    I watch TV to take my mind off of things and all I think is how easy these fictional charecters have it. I am down to only watching comedies and cartoons. I can't handle "dramas".
    I need some help.
    Thanks
    (I even worry about saying how I feel on line for fear someone will see it and think I am a horrible person.)

    Tears are running down my face right now.

    Please help if you can.

     
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    Old 06-02-2005, 05:32 AM   #2
    lttlmi
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    Re: Preoccupied with thoughts

    although i do not have much advice for you i do feel your pain it is 7:30 in the morning and ive been up all night worrying and smoking ciggarette after ciggarette im sorry i can not help you but at least your not all alone

     
    Old 06-02-2005, 06:17 AM   #3
    Tiggerredz
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    Re: Preoccupied with thoughts

    You have to learn to let those thoughts go, maybe occupy you mind with something else, crosswords, readings, etc. I know it is easier said than done. I went through a period just as you. I felt like the only thing I could watch on T.V. was Disney movies. Thats fine if that is all you can watch right now. I still can not watch anything scary or grusome. What helped me was staying away from the news and the paper. Reading happy things I enjoyed like magazines, books, etc. On your obsessive thoughts, last year my nephew was playing and looked at me all of a sudden and told me that I was going to die in 2006. He was 4 at the time. Talk about a thought that won't leave my mind that drives me crazy. I have been trying to make sense of this for sometime, I don't want to be a wreck the entire year of 2006. I have found many different ways to look at the comment, this may help for you also. I look at what he said like a rebirth. Maybe some bad habit, the old me is going to pass with a new improved me, maybe he is only 4 and saw something on T.V. that day, all kinds of ways that I try to change my thinking. Hope this helps.

     
    Old 06-02-2005, 12:06 PM   #4
    I_M_Scared
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    Re: Preoccupied with thoughts

    Thank you for replying.
    As my name says, I am scared all of the time.
    I am scared I have done something wrong, innapropriate, or harmful to someone. These thoughts go round and round in my head.
    I know I have a lot of triggers. I was reading a magazine last night, True Story magazine, and there was an allegedly "true" story in there that triggered my worry button.
    My attacks of anxiety and panic produce the following symptoms:
    -overwhelming fear (that I can't always place what I am afraid of)
    -physical symptoms of sweating, feeling hot all over, dizziness, chest pain, headaches, shortness of breath
    -overwhelming fear of dying during panic episodes
    -fear of telling anyone for what they will think of me-that I am a horrible person for the thoughts that go around in my head
    -terrified I will or might have hurt someone or myself, I replay scenes in my head over and over to analyze if i might have done something wrong.

    {REMOVED}

    Lovely, huh??

    I am soooooo tired of this merry go roung of crap.

    Thanks for the help.

    Last edited by msmod; 06-02-2005 at 01:08 PM. Reason: Please re-read the posting rules regarding the part of your post that was edited. Thanks, ms_mod

     
    Old 06-02-2005, 04:05 PM   #5
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    Re: Preoccupied with thoughts

    I feel that way most of the time.
    The worst part of my anxiety is that my mind will not stop. I worry about worrying, now how sad is that.
    Go see a doctor dont suffer

     
    Old 06-02-2005, 04:17 PM   #6
    TheHappyMan
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    Re: Preoccupied with thoughts

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by I_M_Scared
    Thank you for replying.
    As my name says, I am scared all of the time.
    I am scared I have done something wrong, innapropriate, or harmful to someone. These thoughts go round and round in my head.
    I know I have a lot of triggers. I was reading a magazine last night, True Story magazine, and there was an allegedly "true" story in there that triggered my worry button.
    My attacks of anxiety and panic produce the following symptoms:
    -overwhelming fear (that I can't always place what I am afraid of)
    -physical symptoms of sweating, feeling hot all over, dizziness, chest pain, headaches, shortness of breath
    -overwhelming fear of dying during panic episodes
    -fear of telling anyone for what they will think of me-that I am a horrible person for the thoughts that go around in my head
    -terrified I will or might have hurt someone or myself, I replay scenes in my head over and over to analyze if i might have done something wrong.

    {REMOVED}

    Lovely, huh??

    I am soooooo tired of this merry go roung of crap.

    Thanks for the help.
    Hello I_M_Scared... I know EXACTLY how you feel. I have had panic attacks (and that's what you are having by your description) for years now. They arent so bad anymore but at one time they were ruining my life... They started right after I had a really BAD Flu and could barely breathe. I had to get down on my knees and put my head to the floor to keep from passing out because I couldnt breathe. This happened on and off during the course of this Flu and left me with permanent Anxiety Attacks which did not stop when the Flu was over......

    Shortly thereafter I was diagnosed with emphysema (C.O.P.D.) I had been a BAD smoker for 25 years and the damage had been done even though I given up cigarettes 15 years earlier... So now I am on inhalers.. But thats not the point here..... the point is that my Doc put me on Xanax (1 1/2 milligrams per day) and it has helped with the panic attacks immensley.....

    Whenever I get a panic attack now I put a .5 milligram tablet under my tounge and let it dissolve and the panic attack goes right away..............

    So you might want to go see your Doc, tell him/her how you feel and ask for something to help.... they may not give you Xanax, they may give you something else, but help is out there

     
    Old 06-02-2005, 09:16 PM   #7
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    Re: Preoccupied with thoughts

    I would almost like to guarantee the author of who started this thread that he/she is suffering from OCD symptoms....speaking from someone who knows! The great news for you is that there is so much help out there!!! Life is out there waiting for you to get it back....but you will need some help. Some SSRI's are superb at treating these intrusive thoughts...especially Prozac...it may take a while and at higher doses but I have seen what it's done for a very good friend of mine whose story sounds identical. If you can, book yourself an appointment with a psychiatrist...not a general physician or a psychologist...but a real MD psychiatrist who knows full well what you are going through. What you feel now is awful....what you can find easily is a better way of living. Please call a professional asap...there's no reason to live like that.

     
    Old 06-02-2005, 11:57 PM   #8
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    Re: Preoccupied with thoughts

    Again, thank you all.

    Bondgrll, I think you are right. I think it is OCD as well. I never believed I had a legit problem until this most recent occurence, about 2 months ago that is still ongoing. I was dumb and associated the media hype of constant hand washing as the definitive diagnosis and catch all symptom for OCD. Well, I don't have those compulsions, so I never thought about it.
    Then, when this started up so bad-I turned to the internet and saw how my symptoms were like that of OCD. I count more than I ever paid attention to.
    Well, the thought problem is like hearing a song on the radio that you can't get out of your head all day. But for me, It was something gross I heard on TV. Then I started punishing myself for not getting that thought out of my head. Then I began to feel guilty and ashamed because how could a good person allow that to enter their head. After that, I began to question how good of a person I am.

    And on and on and on.

    Grrrrr...

    I KNOW I am a good person. I know I would never do anything bad, and when I am not obsessing, I don't even think about stuff; I even laugh at myself for ever being worried in the first place.
    BUT, when I am in full blown panic/anxiety mode-I question myself and my sanity.

    How can this be?????
    I have a doctor's appt on Monday, I am going to ask for a refferal to a shrink at that time.

    Thanks again.

     
    Old 06-03-2005, 04:45 AM   #9
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    Re: Preoccupied with thoughts

    You know, since those symptoms sounded to familiar to me, I assumed they must be depression related. Thinking things a lot, being embaressed or guilty about them, replaying events that are sometimes long past and obsessing. It never occured to me that they sounded remotely related to OCD, at least as I understand it... and my brother has it, so I thought I knew at least something about it (he used to have this weird problem with turning over phone recievers and making sure he was walking symetrically). Didn't occure to me...

    but now that I think of it, I get phrases in my head like that when someone interrupts me (or my own thoughts interrupt me, like I will get distracted or something). Not all the time, but enough for me to notice it. And I have to repeat the phrase that got interrupted in my head until it's "completely finished" and sometimes I am not thinking it right and keep going back and it repeats and repeats, sometimes not getting past the first couple of words...

    anyway... *hem*
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    Old 06-05-2005, 08:46 AM   #10
    vicki.j
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    Re: Preoccupied with thoughts

    I've suffered with anxiety / panic attacks for 3 years now. I started seeing a psychologist recently on a fortnightly basis. On top of my anxiety I also have horrible thoughts about hurting people. It's not that I want to hurt them it's more about the possibility that I could. These thoughts go round & round & then I start to feel anxious. They make me sad & I feel alone because I'm scared to share them with my family because of what they might think.

    Lot's of things bring them on. A simple thing like picking up knife to prepare dinner causes thoughts to flash in my head. Sometimes they just appear out of no where. Once they are there it's so hard to get rid of them.

    I've always loved crime shows & murder mysteries. I've stopped watching them because they seem to be making the bad thoughts worse.

    I started to wonder whether these thoughts had nothing to do with my anxiety, so before I started a new topic I thought I'd do a search & I found this topic.

    Does anyone else suffer with thoughts of hurting people?

    OCD runs in my family. My pop & my mum suffer with it as well as depression. My sister also suffers with OCD & I have my own OCD tendencies. Nothing extreme but still OCD.

    Could my thoughts be a symptom of OCD more than a symptom of anxiety? Should I consider seeing a psychiatrist or continue seeing my psychologist?

    I tried lot's of meds before I found one that didn't give me any severe side affects. I've been on Avanza 30mg for 5 months now. They do make me feel a little ho hum but nothing major like the first five types I tried.

    I know it's not the thoughts that make a person but their actions. I tell myself that all the time but it doesn't help. I don't want to have these thoughts. They are destroying the person I want to be.

    Any help you guys could give me would be greatly appreciated. I'm feeling very alone & scared of what's happening to me.

    Last edited by vicki.j; 06-05-2005 at 09:08 AM.

     
    Old 06-05-2005, 12:55 PM   #11
    I_M_Scared
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    Re: Preoccupied with thoughts

    I have always had weird intrusive thoughts. Stupid stuff like when I am plucking my brows, that the tweezers will slip and poke my eyes out. Then that goes full force into what its like to be blind.
    This most recent obsession is the first I can remember that involves hurting anyone else. I guess its because of the nature that scares me the most. What will people think of me? What damage will I do to someone's life.
    I try to sit there and rationalize it away, which makes it all the worse. But seriously, how do you go 31 years of your life without feeling like harming a child-to overnight fearing you will? And panicing and working yourself into a tizzy over something THAT NEVER HAPPENED!!!
    Urrrgggghhhh!
    I am doing better just in the last few days since discovering this site. I am so thankful to you all.

     
    Old 06-05-2005, 02:09 PM   #12
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    Re: Preoccupied with thoughts

    I have the intrusive thoughts very bad for over 3 years now. I do have the thoughts of "I could do this to him/her with this..". But it's not very bad.

    I have been obsessing over stupid stuff that is out of my control every single minute of every single day for over 3 years now. Let me just say that I know for a fact that it is crippling socially, mentally and physically.

    I hope you find help...

    I am going to self-medicate my thyroid because I am a bit hypo. (4.565 TSH) And that causes anxiety. I would highly recomend you people have yours checked. Even if one of you finds out that it is the problem, I will have done...something to help a fellow hell sufferer.

     
    Old 06-05-2005, 07:12 PM   #13
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    Re: Preoccupied with thoughts

    Hi. I'm new here too and boy oh boy can i relate to everything you said. i too worry about worrying. it sounds so silly and i tell myself that it's stupid to worry over everything, but that's how my anxiety stays so fresh cause i keep feeding it. every little ache and pain sends me into a tail spin. i think i'm dying all the time of something or other. when i have a major panic attack, i can't just sit i have to constantly pace, put cold water on my face and remind myself to breathe cause i feel like i'm suffocating. it's horrible to deal with. some days i feel dazed the whole day and can't shake worry thoughts. having a support system is probably the best way to deal with this demon that alot of us are sharing. God i wish i was my happy normal self again. Hopefully someday do you have friends or family that you can share your feelings and thoughts with? it really does help. Hang in there and God Bless

     
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