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  • Just need some sympathy and good advice right now :(



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    Old 06-10-2005, 08:45 AM   #1
    mjewell
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    Just need some sympathy and good advice right now :(

    Hi everyone -

    I am just haivng a terrible terrible week and I feel like crying every second of the day. I have been feeling so terrible all week (headaches, exhaustion and nausea) and depressed, and I have been taking Xanax like candy. This is not normal for me. I am going to the dr next week for the first time in quite a while. The ups and downs of anxiety are just awful. Just when I think i am doing good, feeling good, etc, this happens. I have lots of bad days, but this is the first time I have had such a terrible week since I have been suffering from anxiety (which is about 15 years. I think this week has made me realize I need more help and can't do it on my own. The anxiety is getting the best of me now. I have tried Zoloft and CBT in the past and it didn't work, but I gave up too easily. I know after reading these boards it is trial and error and takes time to find something that works. I guess it takes hitting your lowest low to finally accept this.

    I think what is stressing me out most of all is that I have been at a new job for less than 4 months. Given my newness, i can't very well take time off to regroup, and I feel incredibly guilty taking a sick day (I've already taken almost 3 since I started because of anxiety). My anxiety seems to be worse now than it has been in several months, and could not be at a worse time since I just started my job. Does anyone have advice for how to cope with this? I would give anyhting to be able to quit or take a few months off to heal, but that is not an option. My husband doesn;t make enough to support me on his own. What the heck am I supposed to do? My boss isn't very understanding, I've already told him i had an anxiety disorder and even gave him a letter from my old psychologist explaining it, but he seemed to think it was a temporary illness like the flu and that I was fine the next week. I am so frustrated and tired in every way..mentally, physically, emotionally...it just makes me feel better to know someone else is going through the same

     
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    Old 06-10-2005, 09:55 AM   #2
    Bell99
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    Re: Just need some sympathy and good advice right now :(

    Sorry you are having so a rough time. Sounds like lot's of stress and adding a new job is over the top! Are you sleeping okay? Maybe a few good nights sleep will help. I always feel much better if I am well rested. Most nights I have to take something to help me sleep.
    I too have quit meds. I started Lexapro back in April and boy did I ever want to quit. The side effects were so hard. I was doing fantastic up until this week. Seems like those of us who suffer with this are on a never ending rollar coaster ride of ups and downs and highs and lows.
    I am reading a book called Peace From Nervous Suffering my Dr. recommened.
    Have you heard of it? Do you have a good support system?
    Perhaps you could call you Dr. and get in earlier.
    ((xo))

     
    Old 06-10-2005, 09:57 AM   #3
    Bell99
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    Re: Just need some sympathy and good advice right now :(

    PS what type of a job is it? Maybe a lower stress job doing something you really enjoy would be less anxiety provoking?

     
    Old 06-10-2005, 10:21 AM   #4
    mjewell
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    Re: Just need some sympathy and good advice right now :(

    Hi Bell, thanks for the response. I sleep too well, that is the problem I could sleep all day if given the chance. I guess thats why I am so distressed about how I feel, because I haven't changed any of my normal habits this week - I go to bed at 10:30 and get up at 7. Of course, I have been eating MUCH healthier this week, cutting back white stuff, sugar and caffeine. Perhaps that has something to do with it. I'm just glad its Friday, this weekend I will just take some time for myself and rest and recover. I am going to the doc Monday morning and I plan on writing down everything I want to tell him so i don't forget ... some doctors just want to get you a prescrip and get you out the door - ever had that experience? lol.

    My job isn't really that stressful at all, but it really isn't keeping me happy. I would do best in a work at home sotuation or a work part time situation at least, something where I could be very independent and not necessarily have to answer to someone day to day and have a little more time for the other things in my life. Unfortunately jobs like that that pay well are few and far between My true passion is animals. I try to volunteer at the Humane Society as much as I can. Could not handle being a vet...just wonder what other animal jobs are out there? I live in Idaho and even though Boise is a pretty big city, it is still sometimes tough to find certain jobs.

    Anyway, thanks for your support, I'm sure things will get better again, but it feels good to talk about it.

     
    Old 06-10-2005, 10:23 AM   #5
    mjewell
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    Re: Just need some sympathy and good advice right now :(

    p.s. i did read Peace from nervous suffering about a year ago, maybe I should dust it off and read it again, it made me feel better for a while anyway.

     
    Old 06-10-2005, 10:39 AM   #6
    Bell99
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    Re: Just need some sympathy and good advice right now :(

    What about Pet Sitting???? That is something I think about doing.
    It's on you shedule you're the boss and the best part it's dealing with pets about 97% of the time? I do it now but it's usually for friends and never charge, I should though.
    I have always wanted to go to Idaho. My Father told me of all the states in the US that one was the most beautiful.

     
    Old 06-10-2005, 10:54 AM   #7
    mjewell
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    Re: Just need some sympathy and good advice right now :(

    I've thought about that too..maybe combo pet sitting and grooming or something. I saw a cool thing on Animal Planet about this lady that was an animal behavior therapist - she worked with animals that had been abused and neglected to get them adoptable. That would be so rewarding.

    That was nice of your dad to say about Idaho - most people don't even seem to know where it is let alone that it is actually a cool place!! Hope you get to visit sometime. Summertime is definitely the best

     
    Old 06-10-2005, 11:15 AM   #8
    JONES99679
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    Re: Just need some sympathy and good advice right now :(

    Mental health issues are covered under the Americans With Disabilities Act, I'm not saying that you use this against your boss, but you can't be treated unfairly due to depression/anxiety. I too have GAD and depression. Had some health issues lately, although they have most likely been resolved, I still have anxiety over EVERYTHING. Taking Lexapro daily, and Xanax just to sleep. As my therapist says, and I have read, I have basically reverted back to a primitive state, whereas we were on high alert for everything we came across, just as a bird may do. Family and friend support is also important. Tell them your problems, locking it up doesn't help.

     
    Old 06-10-2005, 02:11 PM   #9
    mjewell
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    Re: Just need some sympathy and good advice right now :(

    Yeah, maybe I should look into that and see what options are available...i just don't feel like I have a disability as bad as some people and i am afraid of taking advantage of the system I guess, but somedays I honestly don't feel like I can work a full day let alone a week. Jones99679, do you work? Does the Lexapro help you get through your day feeling normally? i think i am going to ty it.

    All my fam and friends know, and for the most part they are very sympathetic, but they will never understand the depth of severity. You know what they say, if you haven't gone through it, you will never know...

     
    Old 06-10-2005, 03:24 PM   #10
    Bell99
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    Re: Just need some sympathy and good advice right now :(

    Lexapro has really helped me. The first week was horrid and even the second a little rough. I started slow 2.5 then 5 and after a good three weeks ten.
    I am having a harder week this week. don't know if it's the stress of my kids being out of school or what? I may been a higher dose?

     
    Old 06-13-2005, 07:52 PM   #11
    mjewell
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    Re: Just need some sympathy and good advice right now :(

    From what everyone says stay on 10 for another week and see how you feel, if it's unbearable go back to 5. I went to my dr today and he prescribed me Effexor. The packs come in 37 and 70 mg. For some reason he told me to start out at the higher dose...i don't think so!! The last thing I need is worse anxiety and side effects at work. I took a 37 mg dose tonight, and I will continue to do that this week. Sounds like the key is to let your body adjust to your dosage before you up it. Sometimes I wonder what doctors are thinking...you might find this amusing...don't get me wrong, I love my dr, but I told him I was concerned about getting on an AD because of my already low sex drive, and he starts into this big speel about how sometimes a lower sex drive can come from built up resentment towards your husband, then you can go out and have a one night stand, then you feel guilty, then you have lower sex drive, etc...on and on and on...I was like hey pal, it's not my husband, its my anxiety. It was weird!!

     
    Old 06-13-2005, 08:44 PM   #12
    littlejmb
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    Re: Just need some sympathy and good advice right now :(

    Mjewell, good luck on the Effexor. I don't know much about that one, but I am doing good on Lexapro. Like Bell, last week wasn't a very good week, but I had cut mine down to 5mg to see how I would do. Mainly because I was getting so hungry and eating so much. I have gained a few pounds and I really can't afford to do that! I was doing ok, but had a lot of stressful situations with family and freinds, and could tell I wasn't handling it as well as would be if I was on the 10mg, so went back up. So far the hunger hasn't been to bad ... yet. I was having orgasm problems too (and I think we discussed this before) and now I am taking Ginkgo Biloba and it is definitely helping with that, and my sex drive. I've been taking that about a month now, and I can definitely tell a difference. Maybe you should try that too.

    Good Luck to you, I hope the Effexor works out great for you. Let us know about the sexual side affects and if it does indeed have less. I hope so, it will be good to know!

    Last edited by littlejmb; 06-13-2005 at 08:45 PM.

     
    Old 06-13-2005, 08:51 PM   #13
    mjewell
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    Re: Just need some sympathy and good advice right now :(

    Thanks!! I am waiting to get paid and then I am going to go buy myself a big bottle of ginko also. My dr also gave me a shot of testosterone today. My husband keeps asking me every 5 minutes...do you feel any different yet? How do you feel? Can you feel the testosterone? LOL.

     
    Old 06-14-2005, 05:42 AM   #14
    littlejmb
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    Re: Just need some sympathy and good advice right now :(

    The Testosterone shots are supposed to help, so maybe it will help your drive. I need no help there, mine has always been in overdrive! Being in menopause and taking Lexapro has slowed it down a bit, but that's a good thing for me. I know I had a friend on Effexor and I don't remember why she switched to Celexa, but will have to find out. Have you by any chance tried Wellbutrin? It's supposed to boost your sex drive and have less sexual side affects and less weight gain. If I keep on gaining on Lex - when I go back to my GYN in August, I think I am going to get some samples of that and try it. Can you tell if your anxiety is any better yet? Hopefully it won't take too long for the Effexor to kick in and make you feel better.

    I meant to mention this before, but I think that was terrible of your doctor to have said that to you. That was totally out of line. I just can't imagine him saying that!

    Have a good one!

     
    Old 06-14-2005, 11:50 AM   #15
    mjewell
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    Re: Just need some sympathy and good advice right now :(

    Yeah, so far I don't feel any different testosterone-wise or anxiety wise. i don't feel anxious today but I am taking Xanax regularly at least for this first week of Effexor so that's probably why. My doc said Effexor should have lower risk of sexual side effects so thats good. I would def be willing to try Wellbutrin too. Just trial and error I guess! I know, my doctor is a fam friend and he just went through a divorce, so i wonder if some of that was coming from pent up divorce anger..still it was very strange

     
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