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  • Marriage after 15 years...happily ever after???

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    Old 07-19-2005, 04:55 PM   #286
    goody2shuz
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    Re: Marriage after 15 years...happily ever after???

    Hi, Betty I know how difficult this can be but must be honest with you that I am a believer that affairs are hurtful and wrong. I do not mean to judge you but only wish to tell you that I was in your two shoes not too long ago contemplating a separation because I felt much like you do, however, I never thought about an affair as a resolution, I guess because I loved my husband so much and wanted to renew the love that I knew that we had when we married.

    I came here and if you read through the first 8 pages or so you will see that I was in much the same postion that you have found yourself in.

    I feel compelled to ask you if your husband has any knowledge of your affair. And also, are you still involved in the affair??? Do you still love your husband??? And do you still wish to remain in your marriage and are you still committed to your husband and wish to save it?? And are you willing to leave the affair in order to do this???

    I think if I had the answers to these questions I would be better able to help.

    I sense that you still need and want your marriage to work and that is what is most important. For if you do not have these ingredients then it will be difficult to do.....wanting it is the most important step.

    I look forward to your answers. Please do not think that I am ignoring you if I do not respond right away. I am expecting a visit from my best friend and will be busy for the next week or so. Meanwhile know that you are in my thoughts & prayers. ~ Goody

    Last edited by Administrator; 07-03-2012 at 05:12 PM.

     
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    Old 07-19-2005, 06:01 PM   #287
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    Re: Marriage after 15 years...happily ever after???

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by goody2shuz
    [I
    At first, every two or three months, I would say something about his lack of attentiveness and he would just sort of laugh it off.....saying it was my imagination and nothing had changed. Then after a few months of that when I would mention it he would say he would try to do better, pay more attention. Things would be great for a couple of weeks, but then the attention just dwindled. Over the last year it's gotten a lot worse. It's been about twice a month I would bring it up again and it eventually came to the point where we fought when I did, so I pretty much gave up.[/I]
    :
    I can tell your needs are not being met. Something is going on here...something he is not talking about.

    I would have a heart to heart talk with him. Tell him the way you feel and MAKE HIM LISTEN. There are some communication problems here.

    The fact that he laughs off your feelings is not a good sign. He should be listening to what you have to say. Sorry to hear you are having these problems, but sometimes these things can be worked out (through good communication).

    I would suggest telling him exactly the way you feel and if he is not sensitive to your feelings, then I would wonder about his faithfulness to you and the relationship you have together.

    Last edited by greeneyes100; 07-19-2005 at 06:09 PM. Reason: font

     
    Old 07-20-2005, 06:06 AM   #288
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    Re: Marriage after 15 years...happily ever after???

    goody,

    Thank you for your response. In attempts to answer your questions:

    No, my husband has no idea I have been seeing someone else.

    Yes, I am still involved with this other man.

    Yes, I still love my husband. My feelings have changed greatly toward him over the past year--I feel I harbor much resentment toward him, but I still love him and if there is any way our marriage could be saved I would go to any lengths to save it--including leaving the affair--without a doubt. I only want back the sweet, caring, considerate, passionate man I married.

    I've heard it's "normal" for married couples to fall into a rut after so many years, but according to many, we should still be "honeymooning". We just had our third anniversary in March.

    Something which may or may not be relevant is our age difference.....my husband is eighteen years older than I am. I have also been told by numerous men (no, not ones wanting to get me into bed) that I am a very attractive, beautiful young woman. I do not feel this at all, coming from my husband. His attitude toward me for the last two years has bottomed my self-esteem.

    Also, my husband is VERY possessive. He does not let me leave the house without him, except to run errands in town during the day. He doesn't want me to have a job, so I never have any of my own money. He moved me from my hometown three years ago, and I have not made any new friends where we live now. He wants me TOTALLY dependent on him, which I am. It's as if HE doesn't really want me anymore, but he's not going to let anyone else have me, either....

    greeneyes,

    I have MADE HIM LISTEN--countless times. He just tells me what he thinks I want to hear to close the subject. After a while of laughing things off and trying to make me think it was just me, feeling this way for no reason, he saw that I wasn't going to leave it alone. So he started telling me things would get back to the way they used to be, then he would be romantic and loving for the next couple of days, to appease me, then it was back to me being ignored most of the time.

    Two of my close friends, actually, have questioned his fidelity. The way he is acting
    certainly would draw suspicions, but I don't think he is......he goes to work in the morning, comes straight home in the evening, and doesn't let me out of his sight for the rest of the evening or on the weekends, so I don't see when he could be....

    Thank you both for your responses. Please let me know any additional info I can offer so maybe some advice can be given.

     
    Old 07-20-2005, 03:49 PM   #289
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    Re: Marriage after 15 years...happily ever after???

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by bb_betty
    Yes, I still love my husband. My feelings have changed greatly toward him over the past year--I feel I harbor much resentment toward him, but I still love him and if there is any way our marriage could be saved I would go to any lengths to save it--including leaving the affair--without a doubt. I only want back the sweet, caring, considerate, passionate man I married.
    Betty ~ This is a good start....I would worry about the possibility of getting back your marriage if you didn't have any hope back of doing so. Hope in the sense that you still love him and are committed to wanting to do something to save your marriage. I felt the same sort of resentment in the sense that I would do almost anything to save something so precious to me and yet he wouldn't. I found over time that this was not true....and that my husband had emtionally "shutdown" in response to me and I in response to him.

    I will address this in further detail later on.



    Quote:
    Originally Posted by bb_betty
    I've heard it's "normal" for married couples to fall into a rut after so many years, but according to many, we should still be "honeymooning". We just had our third anniversary in March.
    Yes, this is a little too soon but is similar to what I experienced with my husband when I first came here. We tend to think that everything will stay the same as when we dated....it won't and this is unrealistic. However, marriage and intimacy takes work and it is easy to let it go untended like a garden and if we don't water it or fertilize it soon the weeds will take over. For a man it's more like a car engine...if we don't maintain it soon the engine seizes and the car no longer works. A marriage takes just as much care & maintenance. Only it's so easy for us to forget and neglect to do so. I think this is what has occurred in your marriage. What do yout think??


    Quote:
    Originally Posted by bb_betty
    Something which may or may not be relevant is our age difference.....my husband is eighteen years older than I am. I have also been told by numerous men (no, not ones wanting to get me into bed) that I am a very attractive, beautiful young woman. I do not feel this at all, coming from my husband. His attitude toward me for the last two years has bottomed my self-esteem.
    This is definitely not good. I know you need to feel this from your husband and as touchy a subject as it may be you must be willing to focus totally on your marriage and give up your affair in order to find out if you can save your marriage. Had you gone for any type of counselling prior to starting your affair???

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by bb_betty
    Also, my husband is VERY possessive. He does not let me leave the house without him, except to run errands in town during the day. He doesn't want me to have a job, so I never have any of my own money. He moved me from my hometown three years ago, and I have not made any new friends where we live now. He wants me TOTALLY dependent on him, which I am. It's as if HE doesn't really want me anymore, but he's not going to let anyone else have me, either....
    This is not a good sign either...and unless this behavior of your husbands can change then the marriage will suffer as will your self esteem. He sounds extremely controlling and if this is so, how have you carried on an affair without his knowledge???



    Quote:
    Originally Posted by bb_betty
    I have MADE HIM LISTEN--countless times. He just tells me what he thinks I want to hear to close the subject. After a while of laughing things off and trying to make me think it was just me, feeling this way for no reason, he saw that I wasn't going to leave it alone. So he started telling me things would get back to the way they used to be, then he would be romantic and loving for the next couple of days, to appease me, then it was back to me being ignored most of the time.
    This is all too familiar to me since I experienced much of the same thing. I was accused of complaining too much and with the help of some caring people here I came to realize that the more that I compalined the more that my husband would retreat and be unresponsive to my needs. I was able to change this with an approach and change within myself. Rather than complain and be like the wind (which only caused him to pull his coat tighter and back away for shelter) I learned to be more like the sun and suggest fun things to do and when he shared these things with me I would praise him and tell him how much I enjoyed doing them with him and how we should do it more often. Like the sun, he responded to the warmth and moved closer and thus I found that although I couldn't change him by changing some things about myself, I was successful in bringing about changes with him in the way he responded. I have a formula....positive gets positive and negative gets negative. It took some time but by doing this on a day to day basis things improved and got better. Now I am able to tell my husband what I need in a loving and successful way.

    I must be honest in telling you, that unless your husband is able to get help in terms of his controlling behavior, the outcome for your marriage may not be the same as for mine. Nobody deserves to be in a relationship in which you are not free to express yourself or go out shopping on your own. This is unhealthy and I would never advocate someone staying in a relationship in which somebody's self esteem is diminished. But this does not make having an affair any more right either. I was once in an abusive relationship and a few red flags go up with your husbands behavior. One big one is moving you away from your family & friends. Why did you move??? And are you able to talk to them or have them come for a visit??? I would like for you to further elaborate on this if you can.

    (((HUGS))) ~ Goody

    Last edited by Administrator; 07-03-2012 at 05:16 PM.

     
    Old 07-21-2005, 07:54 PM   #290
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    Re: Marriage after 15 years...happily ever after???

    I think the two of you should really sit down, without the tv on or in between a commercial with his undivided attention, looking into your eyes so he can see how hurt or see the emptiness that you are feeling. Has your husband always been this way at the beginning of your marriage? If you remember him giving you his undivided attention, giving you compliments, being affectionate and making you feel loved.......then you can get that back. sometimes relationships get to be "routine" like everything else. You both need to work to get "that feeling" back again. If you remember him "not really" being like that in the very beginning, then you will never get to where you want to be in your marriage. Sometimes we settle in a marriage for so many reasons and put our own needs and wants on the back burner and just hope that the man we married will be what we wanted or hope they will become what we wanted. It rarely if, never happens. Will you be happy looking into the future say 20 more years down the road in this type of marriage?

     
    Old 07-22-2005, 06:04 AM   #291
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    Re: Marriage after 15 years...happily ever after???

    EVERYONE ~ Just thought that I would clarify things and let you all know that this is an old thread of mine that I dug up from the archives and bumped up to help Black Betty out since her situation is so much like mine was when I first came here for help. I am happy to say that things are renewed with Tom & I thanks to the wonderful advice & support we received here in conjunction with our deep love and commitment to each other and our marriage.

    Greeneyes ~ The quote you quoted above was from Black Betty not me...I know it was a mistake on your part but thought I would just clarify that. Also, as I already admitted to Black Betty, I could have written that quote myself and many of the things that she has said when I first came here and think that I very well may have...that's how closely her situation parallells mine minus the affair of course. And as I also pointed out....I didn't have the control issues in my marriage, as she does, which makes it even more difficult to advise.

    Unless Black Betty is able to work through the control issues that she has in her marriage as well as give up the affair, then I see no solution for her marriage other than seeking a divorce. I am one that believes in saving a marriage....but certainly not at the cost of somebody losing all their self worth and dignity.

    Black Betty ~ I hope you will answer some of the questions I left and also another I have thought of. Has your husband ever demonstrated any anger or volatile behavior in your marriage??? And also, what position are you in that you do not have the liberty of seeking a divorce??? I look forward to your answers and hope that you are doing okay ~ Goody

    Last edited by goody2shuz; 07-22-2005 at 06:07 AM.

     
    Old 07-22-2005, 06:12 AM   #292
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    Re: Marriage after 15 years...happily ever after???

    i did not expect things to remain the way they were when we dated. i realize that the initial "spark", excitement of a new relationship cannot last forever. but for my husband to completely stop showing any affection after only a year of marriage was beyond me. hence my attempts to try and find out why....

    we have never received any counseling. this is yet another topic which is simply laughed off when touched on.

    as far as how i'm able to carry on the affair with his controlling behavior, we meet during the day while my husband is at work. i'm always able to steal away for a few hours a couple days a week. running errands in town and such. i knew when i started the affair that it was WRONG, and still do. i know that my having a physical relationship with another man does not make what my husband is doing any better. but as i said previously, it really does a number on a woman's self-esteem when she begs her own husband for attention (for two years, nonetheless) to no avail.

    i feel i have been a very good wife to him, up until the last few months. he's never had to raise a finger to do anything around here.....which i feel is only right, since he is the one who goes and works all day, i think it's only fair he come home to a clean house. his clothes are always clean and put away. his dinner on the stove when he comes home, his shower running. i feel i've gone above and beyond what a lot of wives would do, and it's all gone unappreciated.

    i have been in an abusive relationship before myself, and swore a man would never raise a hand to me again. but i think physical abuse hurts less than what i've experienced. i've shed tear after tear trying to explain to him how it hurts for him to act this way toward our marriage, but he's one who believes if it doesn't leave a visible mark then it doesn't hurt. the reason we moved was because the area we lived in before (my hometown) paid next to nothing for his field of work. so we moved to a bigger city so he'd be able to make more money. but he prefers to keep me here, away from my friends and family. he does not like me to go back for visits, as he knows that's where all my "exes" are. he never TELLS me what i can and cannot do, but he manipulates me to do as he wants, so that it's easier just to do as he wishes, rather that rock the boat. he was never this way, of course, before we married. i feel like i was sort of "tricked" into thinking he was the way i wanted him to be, and once we were married and he "had me", then he could stop the charade. i don't know.....i feel like i don't know anything anymore.

     
    Old 07-22-2005, 07:34 AM   #293
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    Re: Marriage after 15 years...happily ever after???

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by bb_betty
    i did not expect things to remain the way they were when we dated. i realize that the initial "spark", excitement of a new relationship cannot last forever. but for my husband to completely stop showing any affection after only a year of marriage was beyond me. hence my attempts to try and find out why....
    You are very wise & realistic in how you view marriage as it should be. Every person deserves to be shown love & affection and it is a strong need. I felt much the same way and believe that this could change, however, in your situation unless your husband gets the help he needs in order to work through his abusive behavior I see no chance of things healing in your marriage. So long as there is an abuser there will be abuse. Even if you were able to turn things around in terms of him being able to display love & affection there's still the bigger issue of abuse. I have been in your shoes while engaged to somebody else. He was quite affectionate but emotionally abusive to me on a daily basis. He severed all the relationships that were good and supportive to me much like I see hapenig in your situation. Abusers do this which leaves you more vulnerable and as easy prey. My ex fiance had eventually alienated me from my entire family and closest friends. I know the pain of emotional abuse and thank God everyday that I was able to walk away from it prior to marrying. I want you to know that I was lucky enough to see his "charade" because we had bought a house together and had lived together for about 3-4 months before his "charade" was uncovered. I am certain that if we hadn't then we would have married & I would have found it so much more difficult to walk away. I share this with you because I want you to know that I do understand.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by bb_betty
    we have never received any counseling. this is yet another topic which is simply laughed off when touched on.
    One question I have is whether you had ever received counselling after being in the physically abusive relationship??? The first thing I did when I broke my engagement was to march myself into a therapist's office to find out why I had allowed myself to stay as long as I did in a relationship that was unhealthy and abusive. I wanted to be sure that I could identify that and fix it so that it would never happen again. It only took a few sessions for me to find out and to equip myself with the tools I would need in order to make certain that I never fell prey to abuse again. I advise you to get some counselling now...if anything it will allow you to have closure to the past and also assist you in figuring out what it is you need to do for yourself now. I will be honest with you....I think you need to leave your marriage. I know that your fears come from not being able to support yourself but your self worth and dignity are worth so much more. Is there anyway that you can ask anyone in your family to help you out??? You need to establish a support system for yourself before making such a move. Do not bring any of this up with your husband until you have done so. Create a safehouse for yourself....have one of your friends or family members fly out to help you. I was afraid that once I had severed my ties with family & friends that I couldn't call upon them but I was never so wrong in my life. They were waiting in the wings to swoop in as my army of defense and I am certain that your family is waiting for you to call upon them in the same way. They love you and out of love will do anything to save you. Please know this.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by bb_betty
    as far as how i'm able to carry on the affair with his controlling behavior, we meet during the day while my husband is at work. i'm always able to steal away for a few hours a couple days a week. running errands in town and such. i knew when i started the affair that it was WRONG, and still do. i know that my having a physical relationship with another man does not make what my husband is doing any better. but as i said previously, it really does a number on a woman's self-esteem when she begs her own husband for attention (for two years, nonetheless) to no avail.
    As I have said...I am not an advocate of affairs but am not here to pass judgement. Do you see this other man being able to be supportive in getting you out of an abusive situation??? You must remember, that unless you fix yourself after the damage, you are not giving your best to any relationship and also unknowingly falling victim to abusive relationships again. That is why I strongly suggest counselling.


    Quote:
    Originally Posted by bb_betty
    i have been in an abusive relationship before myself, and swore a man would never raise a hand to me again. but i think physical abuse hurts less than what i've experienced. i've shed tear after tear trying to explain to him how it hurts for him to act this way toward our marriage, but he's one who believes if it doesn't leave a visible mark then it doesn't hurt. the reason we moved was because the area we lived in before (my hometown) paid next to nothing for his field of work. so we moved to a bigger city so he'd be able to make more money. but he prefers to keep me here, away from my friends and family. he does not like me to go back for visits, as he knows that's where all my "exes" are. he never TELLS me what i can and cannot do, but he manipulates me to do as he wants, so that it's easier just to do as he wishes, rather that rock the boat. he was never this way, of course, before we married. i feel like i was sort of "tricked" into thinking he was the way i wanted him to be, and once we were married and he "had me", then he could stop the charade. i don't know.....i feel like i don't know anything anymore.
    This is all too familiar to me, and opens old wounds. I feel your pain and like you said, the emotional abuse is sooo much more hurtful than a slap or bruise that will go away. The words and cruelty and ripping away at your soul is far more painful. I see all the red flags that I had waving and it tells me to advise you to walk away. You cannot remain in a marriage that is so damaging & destructive to your very being.

    Meanwhile...I just wanted to let you know that I am here for you. I have a busy weekend & will be checking in as I am able to but there are many here who are willing to help out as well. I want you to know that you are a special young lady who deserves to be happy. Nobody deserves to be abused physically or emotionally and the only option to happiness is walking away. There is no position or situation that warrrants you staying.

    (((HUGS))) ~ Goody

    PS ~ Please, if you haven't already thought about it, please make certain that you do not bring a child into this stiuation which would not only complicate matters and make it even more difficult to leave, but would subject an innocent child to a life of pain as well.

    Last edited by Administrator; 07-03-2012 at 05:20 PM.

     
    Old 07-22-2005, 07:57 AM   #294
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    Re: Marriage after 15 years...happily ever after???

    goody,

    to answer another of your questions, as well as your comment on children....i cannot leave this marriage because of my children. i have a seven year old boy, whose natural father is deceased. i feel that if i leave my husband he will have yet another dad he has lost and cannot bear to think of him feeling that way. we also have a two year old daughter together

    yes, i went through almost an entire year of counseling after i was in the abusive relationship. i was such a strong person, and it's so hard to believe who i was then, in comparison to the person i've become now. it's funny, as i type these words it is painfully obvious to me that i should get out of this marriage, but i just can't bring myself to do so.....i know all the reasons i give are common (for the kids, hoping he will return to how he was before, financial reasons, etc...), but i guess i just keep hanging on to hopes that things WILL go back to the way they were. i'm in denial, i think. if there's one ray of hope that he will ever be the way he was then i guess that's what i'm holding to....

     
    Old 07-22-2005, 08:35 AM   #295
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    Re: Marriage after 15 years...happily ever after???

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by bb_betty
    goody,

    to answer another of your questions, as well as your comment on children....i cannot leave this marriage because of my children. i have a seven year old boy, whose natural father is deceased. i feel that if i leave my husband he will have yet another dad he has lost and cannot bear to think of him feeling that way. we also have a two year old daughter together
    I am sorry that I wasn't intuitive/sensitive enough to realize that you had kids. When you said that you were married 3 years I automatically assummed that you were yet to have children. While I do understand your reluctance to leave this marriage in order to spare your son yet another disappointment, you couldn't be more wrong in terms of his overall emotional health and future happiness. If your son continues to be exposed to abuse coming from a male role model there is a very high likelihod that he will repeat the pattern in his future relationships because he would have known no better. However, you can change that for him and prevent this from continuing into another generation. I would like you to look at your little girl and imagine her living your life as it is. Look closely and with the realization that if you were to remain in this marriage that as most little girls do they look for men like their first love, their dads.

    You need to demonstrate to your children that they are special and do not deserve to have anyone destroying their self worth or images. The best way to do this is to walk away from anyone who does this to you....your husband included. If you were to remain in this marriage you would be bringing unhappiness to 3 innocent people who deserve so much better.

    I know that there is alot to consider in doing this and that it will not only take time but also a strong conviction from yourself. Please start taking the steps that you need to not only save yourself from a life of unhappiness but also your precious children. I am a mother too and as mothers do naturally they defend their young. I know that you are capable of doing so and want you to know that I am here in anyway to help you through. However, I strongly advise you to get yourself some counselling. I know you may worry about the cost, DO NOT allow this to prevent you from getting the help that you need. Please contact a domestic violence hotline or your church to direct you to the resources available to you in order to get you the support you may need in order to do what is best for you & your children.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by bb_betty
    yes, i went through almost an entire year of counseling after i was in the abusive relationship. i was such a strong person, and it's so hard to believe who i was then, in comparison to the person i've become now. it's funny, as i type these words it is painfully obvious to me that i should get out of this marriage, but i just can't bring myself to do so.....i know all the reasons i give are common (for the kids, hoping he will return to how he was before, financial reasons, etc...), but i guess i just keep hanging on to hopes that things WILL go back to the way they were. i'm in denial, i think. if there's one ray of hope that he will ever be the way he was then i guess that's what i'm holding to....
    That's proof of how once again you are in a position where you have been stripped of your self worth & dignity. Please, before you have nothing left...get yourself the help & support that you need to find the courage to walk away from a relationship that I clearly see as destructive & unhealthy. I am here for you every step of the way ~ Goody

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