To anyone who's trying to stop binging

So, i have a question for those of you who are working on stopping binging (as I am). I guess it mostly pertains to those who are doing it by having a controlled, relatively low calorie diet, but anyone with some helpful advice, please feel free to respond! I need some help!!

So i'm eating a pretty low calorie (like 1300) diet and i haven't binged in 11 days! (yay!) i know the counts of every food, so i just count to that level and (especially since i eat essentially the same breakfast and lunch everyday), it's easy for me to make dinner and dessert stick to around 1300. My question is, what do you do when someone wants to go out to eat? I'm terrified of restaurant food because its all so high cal, but i have some times coming up when people are coming into town so that i'll have to go out to eat. (I usually try to avoid it, but it just won't work this time)

How do you cope with going out to a restaurant? Do you allow yourself more calories total for the day (like 2000?), and then still count calories at the restaurant? Do you try to let that one meal go without counting? Do you restrict before that meal? If its earlier in the day, do you restrict or eat counted calories after? Help!

Please offer some advice. this is really stressing me out. i'm doing so good on my 1300, and i don't want some stupid out-to-eat to lead me to a binge. plus, i'm also really scared of eating more calories even if its just for one day. i feel like i'm starting to lose some of this binge weight and i really don't want to increase my calories because i feel like then i'll gain weight! So, i'm just wondering how others deal with the out-to-eat situation.

Thanks girls and be strong! You're wonderful!

doggie-bags are a wonderful thing! chose somthing from the menu that sounds fairly healthy, and if your food comes and the size scares you, take half of it to go. i know it's scary that you can't count every calorie that goes into a food when you don't prepare it yourself, but it's pretty hard to overeat when you're saving half... unless you order the mayonaise-fried bacon or something. :P

and remember... ALWAYS have them bring your salad dressing on the side.

best,
snitter

definitely good ideas, thanks! but i always already order my dressing on the side, order healthy things, and never finish what's there (unless of course i'm binging . . .)
i guess i'm more wondering whether you still try to estimate the calories of what you do eat. or do you just eat till your full/satisfied?

definitely, thanks for the tips though! you kind of made me remember that it isn't really that big of a deal. if i eat 400 more calories than normal, i'm not going to blow up like a big whale instantly, right? but will it slow down my slimming down?

Hey Jonistyle2-
Tottaly relate to that snario, actully it affected me last night. My parents decided to go out ot dinner and of course I was tottaly over welmed. All I had eaten that day was about 400 calories (if that), and couldn't let myself go out and take in a ton of fat and calories, so I told them I was to tired from work and not really hungry. Which was obvioulsy a lie becuase I really was starving but knew if I ate with them it was going to all come back up, so I stayed home and had a salad w/ fat free dressing
So ya your not alone on that, actully its always a been a fear of mine too. When I'm back at college all my friends always go to the local places (you know college burger joints that serve anything fryed and a side of beer). So basically I either am "to bussy to go" or go and get a salad, or eat with them then excuse myself to go to the "bathroom".
I know thats not any adivce on how to cope with it becuase my way is not a great idea. I think snitter's advice about a to go box is a great idea, you can pertake in the dinning experience but not feel overwhelmed by eating the whole plate. I just wanted to let you know your are DEFIANTLY not alone on this one. Eating out is hard becuase everything is in such large portions and makes it really hard for people with ED to "count" our food intake (I don't know about you but I read every food lable on anything that goes into my body).
Take care and I hope it gets eaiser for us to eat out!
Leash

well... 3500 calories to gain a pound (if you notice a weight gain after eating out, don't freak out -- it's just because eat-out food tends to contain more salt so ya retain water for like.. a day. big freaking deal!), so if ya jump right back on your diet the next day, a couple hundred extra calories won't gain you an ounce!

i know that logic is easier said than applied, but yeah. don't make a habbit of eating out TOO frequently, and try to allow yourself to enjoy yourself if you do it now and then for a treat, okay?

cheering for you!
snitter

oh thank you snitter, you definitely made me feel better. i guess if i'm still too nervous to not "count," i can still count, but i should just allow myself more, like 2000 calories at least. (it's still WAY less than a binge!) like you said, definitely more easily said than applied, but if i'm determined i think i can do it and actually enjoy myself!

aleash, i know what you mean. i avoid eating out like the plague! i always claim i can't afford it! (and i totally can!) i know what you mean about it being hard to count though. like i'll order something light-seeming and i'll be estimating about how big it'll be and how many cal's that means and how much of it i plan to eat. then it arrives and it looks so huge! gigantic!!! then i just get extremely tense and i can't even enjoy the food at all. or i just start binging, which sucks even worse.

i can't wait till we can get over this fear of restaurant food. it tastes SOOOO good! i wish i could be like i used to, where i LOVED going out, becuase the food was so much better tasting than what i could make at home. now, i'm just terrified of it, and i'm perfectly happy with my average, relatively bland home cookin'!! it's one of those things (especially the social aspect of it) that i feel like my ED has really ripped out of my life. even though it scares the **** out of me, i can't wait till i can freely enjoy it again! i know it won't happen overnight, but i think we can both do it in time!

thanks so much you girls! good luck!

Hi Jonistyle2
I am in the exact same boat you are. Out of the last 11 days I only had 2 binge/purges that were 4 days ago, It's a huge step for me because out of the last 17 years, the only times I wasn't purging 3-5times per day was when I was hospitalized and even then I managed to get a few in. I am doing the same thing you are, keeping track of all my food and alloting a certain calorie allowance for the day. I am 85 lbs, 5 feet tall and my goal is to get to 90 lbs. Multiply the healthy weight you want to be by 16 and that is how many calories you should need to maintain that weight , and I try to kep my fat grams at 20% of those calories. If you are exercising a lot, and weight training to build muscle, then you can actually eatmore and weight training is good, because although muscle weighs more than fat, it takes up less space on your body. I am slowly incorporating my calorie allotment, because my body isn't used to digesting all of those calories in one day. My therapist agrees with this too, and he is an ED specialist. My advice about restaurants is this. Allow yourself to become a picky, "high maintenance customer", as long as you tip well, your server won't care. When I was actively, tenaciously bulemic, restaurants were no problem, because I could order everything as is. But now I am more aware, so I ask for dressings on the side, meats prepared without oils an fats and I ask for extra lemon to put on salads and veggies and seafoods, which adds flavor and adds vitamin C. Try finding websites that list calorie content of all foods that has the fat and calorie content for everything, including restaurants. I have found it helpful. I have been out to eat for lunches 3 times, once at Chilis and twice at some local places and was able to do what I suggested and got through all my meals perfectly. I was also able to have those meals with a friend who knows about my ed and totally suports my recovery, so that helps me a lot.
I hope some of this helps. Good luck and let me know how you are doing.