It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Addiction & Recovery Message Board

  • Mommy on Meth



  • Post New Thread   Closed Thread
    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Old 08-15-2005, 08:50 AM   #16
    KFld
    Veteran
    (female)
     
    KFld's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Apr 2005
    Posts: 456
    KFld HB User
    Re: Mommy on Meth

    Wow!!! I can't believe she said you beat her up. She probably got beat up by somebody else trying to get her drugs and figured she's blame you for it. When do you go to court??? I really hope they see through all of this. I hope you are documenting everything that is happening.

    Please keep us posted.

     
    Sponsors Lightbulb
       
    Old 08-15-2005, 06:53 PM   #17
    Mojo255
    Newbie
    (female)
     
    Mojo255's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Aug 2005
    Posts: 7
    Mojo255 HB User
    Re: Mommy on Meth

    I'd be careful about involving the law in your personal affairs. It vcan always backfire or get out of your control. I've been where your at and its jmho.

     
    Old 08-15-2005, 11:26 PM   #18
    lostnewwife
    Junior Member
    (female)
     
    lostnewwife's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Aug 2005
    Posts: 44
    lostnewwife HB User
    Re: Mommy on Meth

    You are in an extremely tough situation; as a husband and a father, my heart goes out to you.
    Let me try to give you two perspectives...first on behalf of your children. My mother is an addict; alcohol is her preference, but anything will do as long as she is not in reality. As a child, it is nearly impossible to constructively accept and cope with a parents' addiction, without professional help. I am not saying your support isn't just as significant, but you, too are trying to cope and your children require constant support and stability. Because their mother is so far gone, you cannot rely on her for anything except more pain, lies and manipulation. Therefore, do what ever you can to keep your children away from her until she is completely sober. My husband is also an addict, which I only discovered recently. I can honestly say that my mother's addiction has impacted me ten thousand times worse than my husband's addiction. Children almost always want to save their parents. They want to protect them in any way possible, and usually put their parents needs above their own, (ESPECIALLY) when they see how lost and out of control their parent is. Adults have the innate ability to remain logical, grounded and sound. For example, adults can get a divorce and move on with their lives. Children, however, have only one mother and one father, no matter who they are and what they do. Therefore, this loyalty is their biggest weakness. Your children will, without doubt, suffer by not having their mother in their lives until (if ever) she is sober and clean, but the torment and destruction she can do to them if you allow her to see them while she is using (and in complete denial) will go far beyond that pain. So, the lesser of two evils is the only solution here; protect your children and keep them away from their mother as long as she is abusing drugs. Every single negative episode your children are exposed to is engraved forever in their psyche, so try your best to refrain from fighting with her in front of them. Your children will mimic your reactions to her, your coping methods, etc, so use this as your guide. Behave the way you would expect them to, communicate the way you would expect them to and try your best to never ever stoop to her level. Teach your children through behaviour, seek councelling for yourself and allow them the same privilege. You are their only parent right now, protect and guide them through this with encouragement, support and love and always remind them that their mother loves them, no matter what she does. Teach them to forgive her, but also to never accept anything but sobriety from her either. My father definitely helped me cope, but because he, too was so hurt and devastated, I needed my own support, someone objective...therapy was my saving grace.
    As I mentioned, my spouse is an addict, too, so I feel your pain and I am sorry for what your wife has done to you. Only now do I understand why my dad wasn't as supportive as I wanted him to be when we were dealing with my mother; his heart was broken. On top of that, he was expected to deal with a lying ex-wife who would stop at nothing to manipulate and destroy him, start a new life for himself and his children with NOTHING...she spent as much as she could on her addictions and took EVERYTHING else. Your wife cannot admit to her problem, and therefore, you have no choice. WASH YOUR HANDS OF HER IN EVERY WAY. Going bankrupt was the last thing that my dad wanted for himself, but in the end, it saved him because she wouldn't have ever stopped trying to take him for a ride. As painful as it must be, start fresh, end this nightmare chapter of your life and know that the next one will be better, MUCH MUCH BETTER. She may have ruined everything in her path, but you have control now and she can no longer ruin your life, only her own. She may never admit to her addiction, but that is no longer your problem. Only she will lose if she continues to lie to herself and everyone else. Your children will understand that in years to come and they will know that you protected them and loved them, especially when she couldn't.
    Addicts are great liars, extremely clever, dangerously determined, and manipulative to the worst degree...so don't put anything past her. If she will stoop so low as to lie to your children about you and get you arrested FOR NOTHING, know that she won't stop here. Protect yourself and your children and try your best to avoid all contact with her. Have mediators for everything, and when she has an episode or tries to falsely accuse you of something, you are protected because you have a witness. Do your best to keep your children out of the courts, it's hard enough to accept the fact that their mom is an addict, let alone standing in a court room telling a room full of strangers each sad and pathetic story of her destruction. Try not to give them a reason to blame themselves for where she is and what she has become.
    I hope I've helped and given you some insight from both a child's perspective and a spouse's. You have reminded me to be grateful that my husband is no where near as painful and far gone as my mother. Good luck to you and your children - the road ahead may appear difficult...but it's much easier than living a life with her and her addiction. Please keep us posted.

     
    Old 08-17-2005, 07:36 PM   #19
    Newton2010
    Newbie
    (male)
     
    Newton2010's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Aug 2005
    Posts: 4
    Newton2010 HB User
    Re: Mommy on Meth

    Just get's worse everyday it seems. The kids started school Mon. and today my wife checked my daughter out of school and took her. We were suppose to start counseling today and that got put off because I had to go to the lawyers to get him to help me fill out the VPO papers and I was wanting all 3 of us to go. I swear she will resort to anything that will hurt me or anyone else it seems, wonder what is next? I think I am going to call the counseler and make another appointment for me and my son tommorro. God will this ever end and will she ever get the help she needs?

    Just had to vent to keep me from going nuts

     
    Old 08-17-2005, 08:39 PM   #20
    thghtsreal
    Inactive
    (male)
     
    Join Date: Jun 2005
    Posts: 320
    thghtsreal HB User
    Re: Mommy on Meth

    It can actually get a lot worse. I have friends that have had experiences with their screwed-up ex's that make your situation look like an afternoon in Mr. Roger's neighborhood.

    Move fast to protect your children and yourself.

     
    Old 08-18-2005, 05:09 AM   #21
    KFld
    Veteran
    (female)
     
    KFld's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Apr 2005
    Posts: 456
    KFld HB User
    Re: Mommy on Meth

    Did she just take your daughter for the day and then bring her back, or are you still trying to get her back??? I hope she doesn't try to keep her. What a nightmare for your daughter to live in that environment. There has to be some way to get the courts to not allow her to even take them from school. I hope you get to counseling with your son and that you can get your daughter there also.

    Vent anytime. That's what we are here for.

     
    Old 08-18-2005, 06:41 AM   #22
    thghtsreal
    Inactive
    (male)
     
    Join Date: Jun 2005
    Posts: 320
    thghtsreal HB User
    Re: Mommy on Meth

    Neither one of you have any court order requiring the location of your children. You are still married. Technically, if your wife took your children to Mexico, it would not be kidnapping.

    Now, you can play that card the other way. You could technically send your children to their family in another place to protect them for the time being.

    HOWEVER, something like that could really backfire on you in court. I hope you are working closely and quickly with a very good and aggressive lawyer.

     
    Closed Thread

    Related Topics
    Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
    Please Help..My Daughter May Be Using Meth Beckyvs Addiction & Recovery 10 05-24-2008 01:42 PM
    How long does Meth suppose to last? PasBabycakes Pain Management 3 07-17-2006 06:11 PM
    Meth and pregnancy Chula95932 Addiction & Recovery 12 09-15-2005 02:15 PM
    meth...am i crazy for still feeling it? babygirl20 Addiction & Recovery 14 06-08-2005 10:33 AM
    Meth question for shoreline angelbear1768 Pain Management 1 05-22-2004 02:26 PM
    Meth user everyday for years athiena35 Addiction & Recovery 15 02-26-2004 12:12 AM
    Detoxing off Meth imallurrz Addiction & Recovery 5 02-20-2003 04:26 PM
    My looooooong sob story about meth addiction Princess Addiction & Recovery 5 02-17-2001 02:31 AM




    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Search this Thread:

    Advanced Search

    Posting Rules
    You may not post new threads
    You may not post replies
    You may not post attachments
    You may not edit your posts

    BB code is On
    Smilies are On
    [IMG] code is Off
    HTML code is On
    Trackbacks are Off
    Pingbacks are Off
    Refbacks are Off




    Sign Up Today!

    Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

    I want my free account

    All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:35 AM.





    © 2020 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
    Do not copy or redistribute in any form!