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    Old 11-28-2005, 11:51 PM   #16
    farceur66
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    Re: Getting Revenge on Cheating Husbands Other

    Hello,

    I have no intentions of talking to her. That is not revenge. I want to tell her husband because he should know. What her husband does with the information is entirely up to him. Most men are not very forgiving of a woman that cheats. Regardless if he forgives her or not, it will cause much problems in their marriage and chances are the trust will never be regained. I do not have the emails that were sent back and forth at work but I will, of course, say what I need to make sure it sounds good. I know for a fact that my husband deleted those emails from her computer when he found out he was going to be her boss. He did not want those floating around. Her husband might also be interested in knowing all the trash she has said about him - - that alone will probably cause him to leave her.

    I am not looking to do revenge to make myself feel better but to teach this dog a lesson. Next time she thinks about messing with another womans husband she will think twice.

    For those of you that are against me telling her husband, just keep in mind that she knew my husband told me about their office flirtation/affair and that we were trying to get our marriage together and yet she continued to pursue him. She did not pursue him because she loved him or wanted to be with him, but she pursued him because she wanted to destroy my marriage. I do think she is laughing to herself that she was the cause of a broken marriage. For that she must pay.

    Last edited by farceur66; 11-28-2005 at 11:55 PM.

     
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    Old 11-29-2005, 12:27 AM   #17
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    Re: Getting Revenge on Cheating Husbands Other

    Revenge or not, her husband should know how disgusting and descpicable she really is!!! He has the right to know! He deserves it - any partner should know! And once he knows, then its up to him what to do next! If he wants to be with her and give her a second chance - that is his business.

    I really do think he has the right to know. If I was a neighbor of yours, or even another co-worker of your husband...and I knew - Id tell her husband! He has feelings too you know!

    This is just me - but Id go on and do it. I totally understand and support you. Everyone here is welcome to state their feelings - there are those who will agree with your actions, and there are those who wont. Personally, I think that there is nothing wrong with telling her husband. Its true and he should know about it. Its not like you are going to blow her with a shotgun or anything... besides, why should she get away with this? It takes TWO TO TANGO - so why shouldnt she get any heat from all this?!

    Last edited by Hazel_Eyes; 11-29-2005 at 12:37 AM.

     
    Old 11-29-2005, 05:30 AM   #18
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    Re: Getting Revenge on Cheating Husbands Other

    farcaur66 i agree with telling her husband totally, i would want to know if my spouse was cheating on me! its the right thing to do! and for the revenge part being someone who has been cheated on go for it!!! if she were a respectable women she wouldnt be out there trying to take someone else husband especially just out of spite. Shes just doing it because she thinks she can. i say go for it! she deserves what she gets! I always believed what goes up must come down!!!!

     
    Old 11-29-2005, 08:24 AM   #19
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    Re: Getting Revenge on Cheating Husbands Other

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by SophiaM
    But WHY? Why should we always take the high road?? This woman hurt her and was deliberately trying to destroy her marriage. I know it takes two to tango, but what kind of a woman would do it to another woman, especially if she has no intention of leaving her own husband?? I understand the principle of taking the high road, but in reality, how often did it pay off? I think her husband should know what a despicable human being she is. She deserves to reap the fruits of her actions. Just my opinion, of course.
    why always take the high road? because when all is said and done, and time has gone by and dust has settled, we see that what we thought was so earth-shattering and horrifying isn't, and wasn't worth the energy of revenge. we see that what matters is that we're healthy and alive and that our families and friends are well. children have knee-jerk, anger-fueled reactions to things. it's natural to want to hurt others when we have been hurt, but our capacity to reason and use logic, which we gain as we mature, should ideally prevent us from doing so. taking the high road 'pays off' in ways that are not immediate or obvious. it allows us to sleep at night knowing we did the right thing, and concentrate on ourselves instead of worrying so much about perceived injustices.

    what this woman is going through is horrible and i wouldn't wish it on anyone. but revenge is only going to make it worse. deciding that the other woman's husband has a 'right' to know is playing god and is also extremely self-serving. use the anger constructively, leave these people in the past and move on.

     
    Old 12-01-2005, 07:17 AM   #20
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    Lightbulb Re: Getting Revenge on Cheating Husbands Other

    This lady kind of sounds like my boyfriend's best friend's sister. Shes pathetic. Misery loves company. This girl would constently hit on my boyfriend and try to make me upset because she was close to him. It didnt bother me that he had a female friend, it bothered me that she would call him hot and hit on him constently, shed talk bad about me, and she even made up lies saying I called her mom an old b*tch, who is the nicest lady ever! Luckily, I have a smart boyfriend, who told her to leave him alone cause shed constently be calling him, she even called him on our 1 year anniversary to wish a happy anniversary, and she did it to **** me off. This girl was trying to have my boyfriend leave me, but not for nothing, she's not his type(and thats being nice) Anyway, I can't stand her, but she seems to get a kick out of making people's lives miserable (mostly the ones she's jealous of-happy people, in love, that care for eachother) She's never going to be out of my boyfriend's life unless he stops talking to his best friend, which I would never let that happen, but now I'm ok cause she doesnt email him everyday or call him, and when he goes over his friends house and she's there, I don't care cause he's coming home back to me now. We just got an apartment, and when he went to his friend's house to tell him and his parents, she overheard and told him that she heard there are cockaroaches in the apartment complex. Just shows you how unhappy people like to keep everyone else as misrable as they can. Anyway, where I was going with this is that telling the husband would be ok if your husband divorces you, but at the same time, I believe that if you guys work out your marriage, the next time you see this lady, kill her with kindness and show her how happy you two are. They hate that lol.
    Sorry so long, hope everything works out ok!

     
    Old 12-01-2005, 07:37 AM   #21
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    Re: Getting Revenge on Cheating Husbands Other

    Hold on hold on hold on.......

    How do we know that this woman even knew that he was married??? I mean come on....if the hubby is saying "ohhhh poor me, this woman is pursueing me when I told her to stop," how can we believe him? He's already decieved his wife by cheating on her, how can we even believe a single word he says? He's probably saying all of this crap to make imself look better and to anger his wife.

    For all we know, this woman could have thought he was single, or divorced. She could have fallen in love with him, and then got in too deep when she realized the truth. Don't tell me that no one else out there has ever still persued a guy that dumped them by sending them e-mails and such. How do we know??? We don't.

    I want to know how you know this information??? How do you know you husband isn't being a bigger snake by telling you all of these lies to shift the focus off of HIM and onto the WOMAN, when it is HIS fault. He made a vow to you to stay true, and I don't care WHO came onto him....he should have stayed true. Instead he is shifting the blame and getting you all worked up when you really should be dealing with you own relationship, your own marriage and your own problems.

    You should be focusing your anger and frustration on who truly betrayed you--your husband. This woman was just a random person who didn't owe you, didn't know you, and couldn't care less about you. Yet you expect her to care. HOWEVER your husband VOWED to love you and be faithfull....yet it is all her fault?

    And trust me honey....the other hubby either already knows about her cheating and doesn't care, or he will find out soon enough. How do you know the other husband isn't cheating himself? How do you know their marriage is perfect? A lot fo things happens behind closed doors, so you don't even know the whole story their either. Your efforts may go unrewarded if any of those other scenarios are the case. Then what will you do to make yourself feel better?

    I suggest you go see a counselor and empower yourself. This bitterness is going to eat you alive, and lashing out at someone else is not going to help your pain. I know you got hurt, and I feel bad for you. Betrayal can drive a person mad. But you need to realize that revenge will only make you more sad and bitter....you need to find productive ways to move on. It will make you a wiser and stronger person.

    If you really feel the need to get all of this out....I am sure you will do it wether we tell you to or not. But I assure you, after it is done, the pain will s till be there, the betrayal will still hurt and then you will have to deal with your OWN life instead of dealing with others.

    Please...take it from someone who knows.
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    He is richest who is content with the least, for content is the wealth of nature.

     
    Old 12-01-2005, 08:29 AM   #22
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    Re: Getting Revenge on Cheating Husbands Other

    Opie and Lex are dead on here!!!

    What is it going to get you when you tell her hubby? Nothing. You won't feel any better, because it was YOUR HUBBY who did YOU wrong.

    Even if the other woman came into his office naked as a way of enticing him, he should have walked away, knowing that you and he were trying to put your marriage back together! Anything and everything she did, he should have ignored and walked away from because he made a commitment to work on your marriage.

    Yes, she is not a good person, but that is not for you to judge. Have you been the best person ALL of your life? Will you be the best person for the REST of your life? Don't judge others, it has a way of biting you in the *** later on!

    Oh and one word of advice about your man, he is going to tell you things she does to entice him and he is going to say nasty things about her to you, because he wants to see you get mad. He wants to see you fight for him, he wants to feel WANTED! But be careful, he may be playing both sides!

     
    Old 12-01-2005, 10:09 AM   #23
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    Re: Getting Revenge on Cheating Husbands Other

    HA! HA!
    Oh I love revenge,,,,
    Before I met and married my husband, I dated a guy for 6 yrs and was engaged to be married to him. He cheated on me and in the beginning I forgave him. (I eventually dumped him but not at first)
    The girl he cheated with gave him a picture of herself in a "sleezy outfit". He showed it to me and I found out where she lived and sent it back to her with this note:
    "Thanks for picture, but Dan and I have laughed at it long enough. Time we sent it back to you".
    HA! HA!

     
    Old 12-01-2005, 10:53 AM   #24
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    Re: Getting Revenge on Cheating Husbands Other

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by farceur66
    Hello,

    I have posted on this board many times. In case you do not remember my story, my husband came home one day to tell me he had fallen in love with a co-worker. That he and she were sending emails back and forth for months. She is also married. After he told me about her, we decided to work on our marriage. This woman co-worker knew my husband and I were trying to work out marriage out and yet she continued to pursue him - sending him sexy emails and sexy gestures. When I moved out of the house, she backed off and said she could not leave her husband. I know, everyone says it is the mans fault but I do not feel she is an innocent in this. While I spent Thanksgiving alone, she spent it with her husband. She knew my husband and I were trying to work our marriage, yet she made it a point to keep leading my husband on. (I am sure we have all met women like this before) He even told me she was partially to blame for what happened between them, and that she continued to pursue the relationship after he tried to work it out with me. Also, the reason she will not leave her husband is because he makes alot of money and she is high maintenance.

    I know I am going to sound bad for saying this but I have been thinking alot about getting revenge on this woman. Not now but if my husband files for divorce I am going to make this girl pay for my pain. Why should she be unharmed during this. I think her husband should know what she did. Why not, I found out. Also, this woman is not a nice person. Before my husband fell for her, he told me some not so nice things about her. She is the type that is a major backstabber. You know the type, talks about others to you but in return talks about you to others.

    Just thought I would share the evil side of me. If the divorce goes through, I will make my presence known to her. She did not care if we were trying to work our marriage, all she cared about was herself. Now she sits in her big house, with her husband and thinks she is all that. Probably laughing because she was the cause of a marriage breakup. She has NO idea who she is messing with.

    Am I bad for feeling this way?

     
    Old 12-01-2005, 11:05 AM   #25
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    Re: Getting Revenge on Cheating Husbands Other

    I Have Been Pretty Much Living The Same Life Since October.my Husband Had An Affair With A Woman Who Lives Right Behind Us.told Me He Was Walking The Dog.until 2 In The Morning.i Would Go On To Bed And Was Suspicous But Put My Womans Intuition To Sleep.well My 17 Year Old Son Was Also Catching On And Went Out And Caught Him In The Truck With Her.i Have Posted Here Before If You Would Like To Read More Details.when He Got Home I Let Him Have It,i Hit Him I Tore Up His Boat Seats Stupid Things Trying To Hurt Him As Much As He Hurt Me.well He Has Told Me He Loves Me & It Was Nothing.to Me It Was Everything.he Wants To Work It Out Yada Yada,this Woman Has Circled My Home , She Has Spray Painted The Side Of My House That She Slept With My Husband Her Brother Has Actually Come Up Her Knocked On The Door The Day I Had Surgery To Talk With My Husband.i Wanted Revenge Sooo Bad.so What I Did The Week After I Had Surgery Was Made My Way Down To Her House And Confronted Her.she Denied Everything Of Course Because She Is A Coward, I Believe That Is What Other Woman Are, They Wont Take The Time To Find A Real Relationship Or Invest In One They Already Have And They Can Live A Fantasy Life With A Married Man And The Same With My Husband.an Affair Is Not Real As Far As The Emtions They Are Feeling.eventually When It Ends And The Damage Is Done They Will Step Back And Be All Alone.but You Need To Be The Strong One Because You Are Better Than Any Of That.
    As Far As The Husband There Is No Doubt That I Would Print The Emails And Go Directly To Him Without Even Telling Either Her Or Your Husband You Was Doing It.he Needs To Know.my Husband Brought Home An Std (hpv) And Genital Warts To Me.if Shes Did This With Your Husband Who Knows Who Else.get Checked Yourself.
    When I Went Down To Confront This Woman I Informed Her I Had Just Had Surgery To Remove The Genital Warts My Husband Had Given Me And Told Her I Hope She Enjoys The Treatment When She Gets Them.(not My Husbands First Affiar Whole Other Issue With Me Leaving Him, Not There Yet But Building Courage) I Let It All Out. I Still Get The Feelings To Want Revenge On Both Of Them.but She Wouldnt Care Anyways Shes Moved On To Another Man Already But Sometimes The Rage And Anger Kills Me.
    But Please Dont Do Anything But Go To The Husband, Actually That Should Be Enough To Set Her World On Fire.good Luck Tami

     
    Old 12-01-2005, 12:56 PM   #26
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    Re: Getting Revenge on Cheating Husbands Other

    I'm glad some people see this the way I do. By placing all the blame on this woman and seeking revenge on her, you are placing the responsibility on her instead of your husband. You (and your husband) are making him out to be a victim. Remember you only know HIS side of the story, of course he is going to make himself out as the innocent victim. As someone else mentioned, no one can MAKE your husband cheat. He made choices and HE should be the one to pay for those choices.

     
    Old 12-01-2005, 01:09 PM   #27
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    Re: Getting Revenge on Cheating Husbands Other

    I believe that to a great extent we are what we think.

    Spending hours, days and months plotting revenge leads to bitterness, cynicism, negativity.

    And what do you still have? A husband who cheated on you.

    It's not so much taking the high road - that's for the people who are almost better than human! But it's caring enough about yourself to not stoop to that level...

     
    Old 12-01-2005, 01:09 PM   #28
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    Re: Getting Revenge on Cheating Husbands Other

    I totally understand the want and even need to hurt someone who has hurt us, it's only natural. But I'm not sure it would solve anything. Think about this as well...she's with her husband not because she loves him but because he's rich. What if you tell her husband and he leaves her and takes his money and runs? Then she will be single, poor, and on the prowl. Then what will keep her from going after your husband yet again? She's backed off, gone back to her husband, perhaps it's best to leave this sleeping dog lie and concentrate on rebuilding your marriage rather than nurturing the hatred you feel for this woman. Good luck to you.

     
    Old 12-01-2005, 01:20 PM   #29
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    Re: Getting Revenge on Cheating Husbands Other

    What I have learned from the past that anytime you try to make someone feel bad for what they did it only makes you look like a weaker person. That woman is not gonna change not matter what you say to her and most likely will not be effected by it. THe best thing to do is just be aware that you are above are should not stup to her low to try to get back at her.

     
    Old 12-01-2005, 05:10 PM   #30
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    Re: Getting Revenge on Cheating Husbands Other

    God yes i sooooo would. My fiancee cheated on me with a girl i know. If she didnd't live like 2 hours away i'd get my revenge and it would be soooo sweet. so i say if it makes u fell better go for it what have u to loose.

     
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