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    Old 05-02-2006, 11:52 PM   #1
    breckgirl
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    married sister is having an affair

    My married sister who has three kids has been having an affair with a guy I was involved with for almost 3 years. Their affair started before our relationship was over. I confronted them a long time ago and they kept telling me I was crazy and paranoid. Recently a friend whom she confided in came clean to me. My sister has been lying to my family and hers telling them that she has been working out of town when in fact she has been seeing him. What should I do?

    Last edited by breckgirl; 05-02-2006 at 11:54 PM.

     
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    Old 05-03-2006, 01:41 AM   #2
    MysteriousGuy
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    Re: married sister is having an affair

    Wait, are you saying that not only your married sister is cheating on her husband, she did it with a guy whom you were STILL in relationship with before it was over? Wow that is really ****ed up. What should you do? Um.....if I was her husband, I would be really glad to know about it, especially considering we have three kids and she could do such a thing. However, I would advise you to be careful, you don't want to be in the middle of it if you were the the one to tell her husband, your sister would hate you but again, if my brother did the same, the last physical contact we would have is me beating him out and it's bye bye. I wouldn't to be around any kind of person like that. I'd hate my bro so it is all about how you feel about your sister now that you know.

     
    Old 05-03-2006, 03:06 AM   #3
    Willapp
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    Re: married sister is having an affair

    If you don't mind exposing your friend who told you, then I'd suggest confronting your sister and tell her that unless she comes clean to her husband, you'll do it for her. She's treated you badly enough, so I wouldn't feel like you owe her anything, sister or not!

     
    Old 05-03-2006, 09:06 PM   #4
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    Re: married sister is having an affair

    Bottom line: cut them both out of your life. Don't say anything to anyone, just do it. Do not have any contact with them unless absolutely necessary. And when you do, be as cordial to them as you would to a stranger on a bus, no more.
    I know she's your sister and blood is thicker than water, but she has magically turned blood into water, enough said there. The guy you were dating? Water, and contaminated water at that- good riddance . Finally, letting Karma work its own magic is far more satisfying than doing anything for revenge. What I mean is what goes around comes around. Both of those people are likely to get bitten in the a** by their own actions...And if they don't? Well, then, sometimes Karma needs a little push. I'm not saying, I'm just saying....

     
    Old 05-04-2006, 12:27 AM   #5
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    Unhappy Re: married sister is having an affair

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Willapp
    If you don't mind exposing your friend who told you, then I'd suggest confronting your sister and tell her that unless she comes clean to her husband, you'll do it for her. She's treated you badly enough, so I wouldn't feel like you owe her anything, sister or not!

    I AGREE.......

    how can she do that to you????????????? What a cow- sorry! So sorry to hear this babes, go and tell her that you know- definately!!!!!!!!!

     
    Old 05-04-2006, 02:53 AM   #6
    mrsnank
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    Re: married sister is having an affair

    We all know the friend rule and the sister rule as far as men go. We just don't do that. It breaks the "code".

    This is also a really tough situation for you. First you need to figure out how you feel about your sister doing that to you. If deep down, you are not angry about her being with your man before it was over, or you had no feelings for him at the time and you are ok with it being your ex. See how you feel about still maintaining a close relationship with her because of that and that alone. It is not always that easy just to cut off your sister unless you really really really really hate her for this.

    You can tell her that you know for sure and that you don't condone it and won't be apart of it. Going and telling her husband doesn't sound like great advise unless revenge is your motive. There are children involved and that may not be your place unless it was him cheating on her. That is where you loyalty lies when you get straight down to it. Just because she broke that trust with you doesn't necessarily mean you have to break it with her.

    It all boils down to what YOU can live with. The consequences of whichever desision YOU make. Telling him may open a whole can of worms that you do not want to get in the middle of. It is her life and can do with it whatever she chooses. Just decide if she hurt you too much to be close anymore. Noone really has to know why.

     
    Old 05-04-2006, 07:54 AM   #7
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    Re: married sister is having an affair

    we've all heard the saying "sin is sweet, but only for a season"! She WILL eventually be found out! You can't be but so careful when it comes to deceit. I would not tell him because she will be your sister no matter what for the rest of your life! However, you may mention to her that you know what's going on and how wrong you think it is for her to do that to her family! Then leave it at that! It's not your marriage, it's hers. When the truth is finally known, at least no one can say you were caught up in the middle of it!

     
    Old 05-04-2006, 08:59 AM   #8
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    Re: married sister is having an affair

    It's not your business to rat on her! No, what she did to you wasn't a nice thing but you should without a doubt stay out of it! Are you mad because she stole your BF or because she's cheating on her husband? I think you are mostly bitter that she stole your BF. Would you even consider telling her husband if it was with a man that you had never met? She'll be caught, if you found out then so will her husband.
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    Old 05-04-2006, 02:09 PM   #9
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    Re: married sister is having an affair

    Man I would be just DYING to know if my wife is cheating on me or not if I were her husband. Someone needs to tell me. lol

     
    Old 05-04-2006, 03:17 PM   #10
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    Re: married sister is having an affair

    This isn't exactly the same thing but my sister's BF was screwing around on her so me and one of my other sisters told her about it...she got mad at us(didn't believe us and believed him instead!) and ended up marrying the guy...go figyah!!!!!
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    Last edited by keepsgoin; 05-04-2006 at 03:18 PM.

     
    Old 05-04-2006, 06:27 PM   #11
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    Re: married sister is having an affair

    What your sister doing is her business I'd stay out of it. I have a friend who's sister was having an affair 'cause her husband did not satisfy her in bad although was great in everything else and she stayed out of it. I suggest you to do the same. Does not sound good to me but who are we to judje. It is more complicated that you involved with the same guy but still stay out of it. Nobody will be grateful for you to bring it up you will be and enemy until the day you die. Especially kids is involved. Best thing is mob.

     
    Old 05-04-2006, 07:20 PM   #12
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    Re: married sister is having an affair

    I would be VERRRY grateful to know about it if someone were to tell me my wife has been cheating on me.

     
    Old 05-05-2006, 04:56 AM   #13
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    Re: married sister is having an affair

    Boy,this is a sticky situation! I don't think I would tell on her because it's really her problem and like other posters said she will get caught. I have sisters and I don't think I would get involved if I knew they were cheating on their husband! It's just not your place to do that, but that's just me I guess!

     
    Old 05-05-2006, 05:45 AM   #14
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    Re: married sister is having an affair

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by MysteriousGuy
    I would be VERRRY grateful to know about it if someone were to tell me my wife has been cheating on me.
    But what if it was your wife's sister or say friend that told you...would your wife not hate her for telling you and it would cause some major conflict possibly in her entire family! I'm quite sure this woman's husband would be grateful to find out but I don't think this is the issue here. I know, she could mail him a photo of the two accused kissing or something anonymously? But the thing is, we don't know what her life is like behind closed doors. Everyone in my family got so mad at me when I met and fell in love with another man because I didn't ever tell anyone of my home life, it was too embarrassing...but my husband drank all the time and wanted to party all the time and wanted me to participate in threesomes(which I never did) and I could go on and on...Personally from my experience, I now know that an affair is NOT the answer to problems but it sure feels good at the time...it's the aftermath that none of us think about at the time!
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    Last edited by keepsgoin; 05-05-2006 at 05:49 AM.

     
    Old 05-05-2006, 07:02 AM   #15
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    Re: married sister is having an affair

    I don't think that husband actually likes to know it. I knew a similiar cituation. Person first was interested to know that his spouse is cheating but than she became very mad and accused person who told her that she just wants to break her family. Her husband was very mad at person who reported him to the wife and everybody around hate her and was trying to be mean to her. If you do it you will never undo it, it is never second chance.

     
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