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  • How do you know if a guy is out for only one thing?

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    Old 08-04-2006, 08:24 AM   #1
    mismax
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    How do you know if a guy is out for only one thing?

    I have a quick question. How do you know if a guy is only out for sex? And how long will a guy keep trying? Just curious any input would be great. I just started seeing someone new and getting back into this whole dating thing is confusing. It's been so long for me. Thanks to everyone in advance!

     
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    Old 08-04-2006, 08:26 AM   #2
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    Re: How do you know if a guy is out for only one thing?

    you can usually tell by his actions......just don't put out right away, and you will find out if he sticks around or not.

    Last edited by rosequartz; 08-04-2006 at 08:27 AM.

     
    Old 08-04-2006, 09:13 AM   #3
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    Re: How do you know if a guy is out for only one thing?

    If he only wants to see you at night. every time.
    only calls late night..early hours in the am

    I at first was seeing a guy and it was seeing eachother in the evening- that didn't last long, before i knew it he only called me late night after work (he was a bouncer).......so yeah i had to end that one....

    If he doesn't want to take you out. just going to eachothers places and hanging out, doing nothing....and I mean that for a relationship that is barely even becoming a relationship, not a full blown couple- me and my SO stay home all the time doing nothing, but not when we first met....

    theres a lot of clues...just say what his actions are and i'll tell you my opinion...i've had many experiences lol

     
    Old 08-04-2006, 12:14 PM   #4
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    Re: How do you know if a guy is out for only one thing?

    Quote:
    How do you know if a guy is only out for sex?
    If he is a guy. Ahahaha.

    But then again, that goes for everybody...since the whole point of starting a relationship with someone is that you want to have sex with them, eventually. If you didn't then they would just be a friend. But women are more likely to want to develop a good relationship with a guy before doing anything sexual.

    I think if you want to make sure that no one is going to sleep with you and run, then wait to have sex for at least a couple of months. If a guy is really into you, then he'll stick around. I did this with my current boyfriend and we're still limping along after more than two years.
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    Old 08-04-2006, 01:57 PM   #5
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    Re: How do you know if a guy is out for only one thing?

    Hi Kerry- I remember you from going through your break-up around the same time I was...hope you're doing OK.

    Im glad to see you're dating again. I am too, if you can call it that, and Im just as confused as you are. I live in a big city and so a lot of it is meeting guys in bars and the like, and you can imagine how substantial that turns out to be I have a few posts on here describing guys that have completely blown me away too with their confusing/frustrating behavior.

    I agree with the others as far as 'how you can tell'. Except I blame the city I live in for the guys I meet, because I dont even put out and they still fizzle out or go for some girl that will right away! So my experiences lately havent exactly stuck to conventional standards..I hope its different for you!
    I think its pretty safe to say that, if you dont put out for awhile, you can tell if hes into you for YOU by how long he sticks around. Granted, if the wait is within reason...my ex was a virgin and I stuck with him for 2 years cause I loved him, but I know a lot of people that wouldnt do that. The length of this 'test' is yours to determine. I dont have the best willpower when it comes to things like this However, Ive also heard of girls that have 'put out' really early on, and they are still together, so...you never know. Id say odds are that that rarely happens though, so if you really want to see how he really feels, suck it up for awhile and see what happens. I have a very frustrated opinion right now in that all guys in their twenties are pretty much just looking to score, based on what Ive seen/experienced, so I know how you feel...good luck and Im glad to see you're doing better!

     
    Old 08-04-2006, 02:59 PM   #6
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    Re: How do you know if a guy is out for only one thing?

    Here's just a few signs.

       
      Old 08-04-2006, 09:22 PM   #7
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      Re: How do you know if a guy is out for only one thing?

      Hmm..this is all very interesting.

      So, if a guy is really only after "one thing" if after time and time again you dont have sex with him....he still comes after you...then hes probably not after the sex?

      Or are some guys freaks who pursue someone for months to get sex? lol
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      Old 08-05-2006, 12:12 AM   #8
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      Re: How do you know if a guy is out for only one thing?

      Baby_hands,
      I think it's really a lot more complicated then the obvious signs we suggested. Sometimes it's easy to tell, but sometimes even the most experience woman can be fooled. So yeah, I'd say you're right. Some guys are definitely freaks. With some of them, I don't think it's really sex that they want at all. Maybe more of a conquest thing with them. The longer it takes to win you, the bigger the prize you seem to be. Know what I mean? But then, when they finally win you, the game is over. They're not interested anymore and it's time for them to move on to the next conquest.

       
      Old 08-05-2006, 07:27 AM   #9
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      Re: How do you know if a guy is out for only one thing?

      So if you don't make him wait, and he's still around 3-4 months later, is it safe to start thinking positively about things?


      Sorry... interesting topic to me also.

       
      Old 08-05-2006, 08:16 AM   #10
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      Re: How do you know if a guy is out for only one thing?

      Quote:
      Originally Posted by LostMyHeart
      So if you don't make him wait, and he's still around 3-4 months later, is it safe to start thinking positively about things?


      Sorry... interesting topic to me also.
      Yeah, I would say that's a good sign Arrggh, dating is so confusing, isn't it?

       
      Old 08-05-2006, 10:34 AM   #11
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      Re: How do you know if a guy is out for only one thing?

      Well, if you really want to cut to the chase and if you really want to find out if the guy has a One Track Mind you can do the unexpected.

      You can just get down to business and put out your best, worst academy performance in bed you can think of. If he runs after that, he had a One Track Mind for sure. If he stays after that, his mind is off the track... for sure.

      Of course you don't have to pay attention to me if I don't want!

      I should Know.

      HOOP! ( I have a One TWhack Mind! )

      Last edited by Hoop; 08-05-2006 at 10:34 AM.

       
      Old 08-06-2006, 09:26 PM   #12
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      Re: How do you know if a guy is out for only one thing?

      If a guy is only out for sex, and you have sex and he still wants to see you, it definitely doesn't mean he wasn't intestered only in sex. Unfortunate, but true. Also, I believe it is a big huge lie that you will turn off a man who really likes you if you either hold off on sex for quite awhile, or have sex quite early on. If a guy genuinely likes you and cares about you, he will want to continue to be with you no matter what. I'm a very sexual girl with a lot of experience in this realm, and while I've been lucky that only maybe 5% of the men I've been with have only wanted sex as opposed to a caring relationship with me, I hopefully can still share some signs that will help you figure out how any given man sees you. Actually, I can tell you about the way two different guys I've dated this summer have treated me, and maybe that will make the difference a bit clearer. Of course every situation is different, but in general, there are definitely some clues you can look to if you're trying to figure out if a guy really likes you or just wants to hook up.

      OK, so the guy who just wanted to hook up (and that's probably selling him short, because I was the one who insisted we keep things totally casual and not develop any relationship whatsoever), did these things:

      -Only called when he wanted to come over, or have me come over, not to see how I was or ask me to hang out in public with friends.

      -Always made it really obvious that he wanted me to leave first thing in the morning.

      -Didn't invite me out to meet his friends/family

      -Didn't call consistently to say hi, see how I was, etc. even when we couldn't get together in person

      -When we were together around mutual friends or at a party, he wouldn't pay much attention to me or do anything that would hint that we were a couple.

      -Never gave me any indication that he was interested in having a monogamous relationship with me.

      -His friends warned me that he doesn't "play well with others"

      -Didn't ever seem that concerned about how I was feeling or what was going on in my life, though he was willing to talk about personal stuff to some extent when he could sense I wanted to...

      -He called and texted when he wanted to, and wasn't reliable about always getting back to me promptly when I contacted him.

      -It seemed like his other friends and social obligations always came first, and we could only get together when he had nothing else to do...we never made plans ahead of time.

      -He seemed like he couldn't care less what I did when he wasn't around, including whether I was sleeping with other guys


      Then I reconnected with a very good, old friend I've known for a decade, and even though he is not at all an emotionally expressive kind of person, I can tell that he really cares about me because:

      -the first time we met up after not seeing each other for a few years, he spent the night, and called later that next day to tell me that he was really happy to have been with me and that he had a wonderful time

      -he always, always calls me back promptly, and he never fails to call me when he promises to

      -he contacts me to see how things in my life, like vacations, tests, interviews, etc. went, not just to make plans to hook up

      -he had no problem inviting me out with his friends and family right from the start (though it probably helped that we'd known each other so long)

      -he seemed a little jealous when I did things with other guys

      -he's never in a rush to leave or have me leave after sex, and when he spent the night, he wanted to hang out, make love, watch tv, have lunch, etc. the next day

      -he wanted to hang out outside of the bedroom, in public, and he didn't have a problem being snuggly and affectionate with me around other people

      -he seems to genuinely like me as a person, aside from my looks and sexual skills, and to genuinely care about my life, how I feel, and what I do

      -I don't ever feel needy, dependent, or insecure around him the way I sometimes feel about men who are only interested in sex...instead he makes me feel confident, loved, and sure that he cares. I hope that helps a bit...

       
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