It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Personality Disorder Message Board

  • BPD + NPD + alcohol/substance addiction

  • Post New Thread   Closed Thread
    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Old 12-03-2006, 06:07 AM   #1
    corricatt
    Senior Member
    (female)
     
    corricatt's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jun 2006
    Location: Upstate New York, USA
    Posts: 148
    corricatt HB User
    BPD + NPD + alcohol/substance addiction

    I've thought for a while now that I'm starting to lose it. For the last 6 months I haven't been able to control my feelings. I'm in a constant rage. Thankfully, the only time I am in a good mood is when I'm with my 15 year old daughter who has become my only friend on the face of this earth. Yes, I've pushed EVERY one I've ever been friends with away, or let them fade out of my life... As I started to research what could be wrong with me, I've found that it's highly likely my boss (who I spend about 6 hours a day face to face with) has narcissist personality disorder (sp?). I can't stand him. I'm angry all day at work, I can be very mean, and my co-workers can't stand me because of my "negative attitude". I've been working with this guy for 10 years. I'm married to a man, for 15 years, who I didn't understand until this summer has a serious addiction to mind altering habits. But that really isn't why I fight with him at least once a week. It's because he lies. I can't deal with it. And since I quit drinking and smoking cigs in March I'm not his drinking buddy anymore. Now he needs his loser friends so much that they seem to be more important to him than his family? I used to hang out with these people too. Most of our fights stem from "the friends" and some of them start everytime I find evidence he's smoking behind my back and lying about it. I should tell you that I had a major surgery in April that has basically changed my life.

    Now I just want to find a doctor who will prescribe me a drug that will numb my emotions. Maybe I'll be able to get through my days with the a-hole boss and the selfish husband if I just don't feel anything anymore..

     
    Sponsors Lightbulb
       
    Old 12-08-2006, 04:11 AM   #2
    corricatt
    Senior Member
    (female)
     
    corricatt's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jun 2006
    Location: Upstate New York, USA
    Posts: 148
    corricatt HB User
    Re: BPD + NPD + alcohol/substance addiction

    So I spent the weekend researching Borderline Personality Disorder, as well as the Narcissist too. I was sort of feeling relief, because I now know that there is help for me. The week was going along really well.. until Thursday, at lunch, when the A-hole pulled his ****** on me, the other girls saw it and tried to help me. The day went downhill from there. By the time I got home I was back to the molitov cocktail that I am, ready to explode. My family took my the brunt of my bad day, although it could have been worse, I really worked at holding back my pent up rage.

     
    Old 12-08-2006, 12:03 PM   #3
    Kolby
    Senior Member
    (female)
     
    Kolby's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Mar 2005
    Location: Harriburg
    Posts: 297
    Kolby HB User
    Re: BPD + NPD + alcohol/substance addiction

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by corricatt
    So I spent the weekend researching Borderline Personality Disorder, as well as the Narcissist too. I was sort of feeling relief, because I now know that there is help for me. The week was going along really well.. until Thursday, at lunch, when the A-hole pulled his ****** on me, the other girls saw it and tried to help me. The day went downhill from there. By the time I got home I was back to the molitov cocktail that I am, ready to explode. My family took my the brunt of my bad day, although it could have been worse, I really worked at holding back my pent up rage.

    Hi, I hope things are getting better for you. I just wrote a post about my husband and how he is driving me crazy. LOL much like you It's sad to see the other side of what may be causing this for my husband as well.

    As for your husband smoking....he is an adult. Really no one wants to have to be told what to do. Let him figure it out on his own. Give him the information, but don't threaten him. It's just not worth it in the end. If my husband told me to stop, I'd say no. He doesn't own me.

    I take prozac and it has helped me personaly with rages. It is even hard at times to cry. I hate work too and negative people around me. So work is no fun.

    Try to find one thing to look forward to a day. Join a gym or some kind of group. I'd love to but I've got hubby problems where he won't let me out much only to foodshop and work. If you have the freedom to do thing.....do them.

    Good Luck!!
    __________________
    Michelle

     
    Old 12-13-2006, 05:35 AM   #4
    corricatt
    Senior Member
    (female)
     
    corricatt's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jun 2006
    Location: Upstate New York, USA
    Posts: 148
    corricatt HB User
    Re: BPD + NPD + alcohol/substance addiction

    So, we attend his Christmas party last Friday night and I'm having a decent time, until the boss wants to go out for a cigarette. He quickly looked at my husband and then around the room saying "jeez, am I the only smoker?" His son sitting next to me was just about to say something but see's the look on dad's face.. and the secretary behind us blurts out: "L***** smokes!" so I said.. "yeah but his wife isn't supposed to know!" So that just RUINED my whole night. What is wrong with me that I keep thinking this man is trying to quit? Anyway, we didn't speak to each other until about 5 minutes from home when I told him that I hate him. He told me I'm a N*** (WWII german soldier) and since he doesn't smoke around me that I should get off his back. Well maybe he's right but I can not help it. Many people have told me that you can't make someone quit smoking. It's just SO hard for me to let it go. I had to quit! If I don't keep on him he won't even TRY to quit.

    I've been having a really really bad time with my boss too. I hate him so much. I want to tell his fiance what a mistake she's making. I want to buy her a book on how to live with the narcissist. Can you imagine being engaged to a man that doesn't want anyone to know HE'S engaged? These people are doctors! She's got a boulder on her finger, but she's forbidden to come around. (we saw the rock accidentally one day when she came by the office with a problem with a tenant). I think I'm going to give notice (but I'm going to wait until after Christmas because I want my BONUS!) I even thought that if and when I do find a psychiatrist and if and when I do get on some kind of drug to chill me out.. maybe then I could just ignore him... that's wishful thinking, huh? I do feel bad for the patients that have to put up with my bad moods.... just thinking about quitting my job makes me feel better!!!

     
    Old 12-15-2006, 04:33 PM   #5
    corricatt
    Senior Member
    (female)
     
    corricatt's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jun 2006
    Location: Upstate New York, USA
    Posts: 148
    corricatt HB User
    Re: BPD + NPD + alcohol/substance addiction

    After my last post I had a major meltdown. I spent hours calling doctors. I can't believe how hard it is to find a psychiatrist! Finally a psychologist called me back and she urged me to go to my primary dr. The NP that talked with me put me on Lexapro and Ambien. Anyone encouraging words from Lexapro takers?

     
    Closed Thread

    Related Topics
    Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
    Alcohol after narcotic detox? jdsun Addiction & Recovery 1 04-23-2010 05:15 AM
    Im in recovery for Alcohol and mairjuana, I have a Pain Management Doctor ermitch Chronic Pain 16 02-24-2010 06:07 PM
    Estimated percentage of drug and alcohol abuse amongst bipolar individuals. DMT Bipolar Disorder 8 12-01-2009 06:26 PM
    Hydrocodone / Oxycodone / Alcohol... Time to stop!! Need support Proshot3 Addiction & Recovery 2 10-27-2008 03:03 PM
    what is alcohol withdrawl like? mommaoftwinsplus1 Addiction & Recovery 4 05-25-2007 07:08 PM
    alcohol, ultram and xanax... MsMinn Addiction & Recovery 8 10-23-2006 08:16 AM




    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Search this Thread:

    Advanced Search

    Posting Rules
    You may not post new threads
    You may not post replies
    You may not post attachments
    You may not edit your posts

    BB code is On
    Smilies are On
    [IMG] code is Off
    HTML code is Off
    Trackbacks are Off
    Pingbacks are Off
    Refbacks are Off




    Sign Up Today!

    Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

    I want my free account

    All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:34 AM.





    © 2021 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
    Do not copy or redistribute in any form!