It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board

  • Deeply Depressed B/C of Controling Boyfriend

  • Post New Thread   Closed Thread
    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Old 02-21-2007, 03:11 AM   #16
    mommy2brandon24
    Member
    (female)
     
    mommy2brandon24's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Aug 2006
    Location: i live in the united states newyork.
    Posts: 82
    mommy2brandon24 HB User
    Re: Deeply Depressed B/C of Controling Boyfriend

    im glad to hear you went to see an old friend and im also glad to hear your not answeing his phone calls if he calls. because no girl deserves to be treated badly just think of it this way if your still with him how is some nice guy gonna come into your life. i understand how your feeling 100 percent it wasnt love that made me stay with my ex it was out of not wanting to be lonely i felt i didnt have the strength to start over with someone new i was used to being with him and in a way i was scared.but after awhile i listened to my mom i went on that dating service and met my fiance my mom presured me to go and meet new guys. like she told me to meeting new guys and going on dates should be the fun part. so i think you should listen to your parents most of the time parents are right and there here to help there kids. and honestly i dont think hes gonna change with the next girl most guys like that are gonna be like that the rest of there lives and theres noway that girls are gonna change thses kind of guys but the next girl will find out what kind of guy he is and hopefully she dump him. but i hope everything works out for you and just remember take one day at a time and sometime youll realize that he wasnt even worth 8 years of your life and try to figure out what you even saw in him. ill tell you one thing with me im way over him but i still hate him its been 5 years and to this day i could never forgive what he did to me and honestly dont think i ever will.

     
    Sponsors Lightbulb
       
    Old 02-21-2007, 04:09 AM   #17
    VideoKid
    Junior Member
    (female)
     
    Join Date: Mar 2006
    Location: Leeds, England
    Posts: 29
    VideoKid HB User
    Re: Deeply Depressed B/C of Controling Boyfriend

    I know exactly how you feel, I was only in the relationship for 2 years but my boyfriend split up with me on Sunday. I felt the same, didn't talk to my friends anymore, worked the same place as he worked so I could be with him and didn't feel happy unless I WAS with him even though he could be very mentally abusive at times and to be honest, ignored me when I was with him most of the time anyway ... but I still put myself through it because it was better than being alone.

    I know its only been a few days and at first I was in hysterics especially because he was the only person left I could talk to and he wouldn't answer my calls! The worst thing was he didn't even seem to care much.

    However I went to see one of my oldest friends from school last night, I didn't think she'd be able to help as she's never been in a long term relationship but she told me something that changed my mind. Her dad always seemed like a nice person to me but she's told me in the past her mum and dad split up (but got back together and had another baby), he threw her out once when she was living at home and he had a bad temper. She said the controlling and mental abuse her dad gives her mum wears her down, she's not happy in her marriage but she feels stuck in it but because she has the baby and he earns all the money theres nothing she can do, she just puts up with the abuse. I was actually shaking when she said it because I realised I wasn't unhappy anymore, I was finally free of all that mental abuse. We split up on Sunday and by Tuesday night I could smile again just because I never had to be ignored or shouted at or called names again because I was free.

    I know its hard to let go, I can imagine it would be hundreds of times worse for you as you've been together 8 years and you'll feel lonely and like you just need him back but as soon as you realise you don't want to spend the rest of your life being controlled and shouted at then you'll feel much stronger. The future will feel bleak now but one day you'll meet someone who'll treat you like you deserve and you'll think "thank God I didn't stay in that old relationship!".

    I found out last night that my ex had told a couple of his friends he was feeling very sad and lonely and that made me smile because I'm glad his missing me. I'm not missing him anymore.

    Last edited by VideoKid; 02-21-2007 at 04:11 AM.

     
    Old 02-21-2007, 05:46 AM   #18
    Catherine83
    Senior Member
    (female)
     
    Catherine83's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Dec 2005
    Posts: 157
    Catherine83 HB User
    Re: Deeply Depressed B/C of Controling Boyfriend

    Videokid - I'm sorry about you and your situation...I hope I can get my head together as fast as you have. It is so hard sometimes though. I'll feel all strong and have this attitude like ")*&( him" and then I'll wake up at like 6 in the morning and have this terrible overwhelming feeling of being alone. That is what happened to me this morning.

    I was in my bed in the dark thinking about him at 6am!!!!! Oh my gosh this sucks. While I was in my bed I started thinking that maybe I should call him... maybe I should just talk to him ... maybe I should end it and that's why I should call.... but then as much as I want to pick up the phone and do that....I just can't. It breaks my heart to know that I cannot do that. I can't do it because I shouldn't do it. He doesn't deserve it. He should be the one to come crawling back to me and there is no reason that I should call him. What hurts me the most is feeling like he doesn't care that he acted this way or that he isn't calling on purpose. Even if I don't answer the phone, I want him to call so I know that he does care. I feel like I deserve to know that he cares. I just spent 8 years of my life with this guy and now I know he is talking bad about me to his guy friends and they are probably telling him that he needs out and all this crap... They don't know me and they don't know my side of it so anything they say to him is wrong advice. It just isn't fair......I'm angry and sad about the fact that he doens't give a ----- for me.... Why did he do it like this too????? I mean, the least he could have done is talk to me about how he felt... told me that he wanted to end things..... but to play these games is what bothers me the most. I'm getting scared because last night was a little easier since I had someone there to take my mind off of him for a little while...but tonight I'll be by myself and I dread it so bad. It is those times when I'm afraid of giving in and picking up the phone. I haven't prayed in a long time and I know it's bad to start when I have a problem but I did yesterday. I keep questioning what I've done to deserve this from him. But it doesn't matter because he's going to have his own feelings on this whole thing.... he is probably sitting at home blaming me while I'm sitting at home blaming him. Doesn't it always seem to go that way??
    I am trying to take one day at a time and not look too deeply into tomorrow... I'm struggling with this but I'm trying at least. I'd be mad at myself if I didn't at least try. The true test is being able to deal with this and be alone.... not having a friend around or shoulder to cry on. I just sit here and I'm looking around my room. Everything reminds me of him. From the lightbulb he put in for me to the side of the sofa that was his that smells of his cologne..... it's all there to remind me. :-(..
    OH....guess what my fortune cookie said a week ago...(not that I really believe these things but they are fun none the less...) We got chinese take out about a week ago before things turned out so bad and my cookie said "You will soon bring joy to someone new in your life" He actually read it and said "SO WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSE TO MEAN." Deep inside I was thinking " I sure hope so" and I saved it. Maybe it is stupid but it made me feel hopeful. :-)

     
    Old 02-21-2007, 06:14 AM   #19
    StenoLady1
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    StenoLady1's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jun 2005
    Location: USA
    Posts: 1,645
    StenoLady1 HB UserStenoLady1 HB User
    Re: Deeply Depressed B/C of Controling Boyfriend

    Catherine, I'm seeing a lot of "would'a, should'a and could'a" in your post. You need to stop that. Today is a new day. You survived last night without being with him.

    Where are your parents? What do they do during the day, during the evening? You have support right there in your home. Talk to them. Enlist their help in this. Your room reminds you of him, eh? Well, get out of your room! Go spruce up a bathroom or read a book. Help your parents with dinner tonight, do something with them to help get your mind off this. When was the last time y'all played cards or Scrabble or something? Or even just watched some tv together? Pick up a newspaper today and start looking at the want ads. You need to do stuff to get your mind off this guy. And you have two parents in your home who sound like they're willing to help you. Take them up on this help!

    Yes, eight years is a long time. How many more days, months or years do you want to feel like this? There are some really good guys out there, guys who enjoy making their partners feel like they're on top of the world. You say you're afraid of being alone. You are never going to have an opportunity with one of those good guys as long as you're hung up on this guy. You are settling and destroying your self-esteem and identity as long as you continue with this guy.

    I can't stress enough that you are not alone. You have two loving parents in your house who don't believe you should be with this guy. Parents have a lot more life experience than their kids. Please, please talk with them and tell them you'd like their help in getting past this.

     
    Old 02-21-2007, 07:13 AM   #20
    Bracelet
    Inactive
    (female)
     
    Join Date: Jul 2006
    Posts: 678
    Bracelet HB User
    Re: Deeply Depressed B/C of Controling Boyfriend

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Catherine83 View Post
    We got chinese take out about a week ago before things turned out so bad and my cookie said "You will soon bring joy to someone new in your life" He actually read it and said "SO WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSE TO MEAN."
    Honey, did you just read what you wrote? The guy is blaming you for what a random fortune cookie said! Like that's somehow directly your fault for it! Seriously, the guy is no good.

    This is the hardest part of it all, the being on your own for the first time and not calling him. Resisting the temptation of calling is very hard. But the great news is that you know you have the strength inside you to not go back with him.

    I was the one who said I was staying with my ex simply for fear of being alone. But that's not a good enough reason to stay with someone. You don't have the same feelings for him anymore, your feelings have changed. The longer you continue this farce of a relationship the even more time you'll be wasting when you could be doing things for yourself.

    You've got a lot of options now. Now you can go back to school and make something out of your life! You'll probably meet a lot of new people there and make some new friends. And if you get a part time job, you'll have some money that you can use to buy yourself some nice things. It's a whole new beginning in front of you right now! It's very scary for the first time in a long time, but it's also pretty cool. Freedom is awesome. Freedom is what makes it possible for people to make their dreams come true. That's what you have once you cut this tie that is no longer doing anything for you except causing you pain and heartbreak.

    Give yourself some time to grieve for this relationship, because we all need that time to get some feelings out. But don't spend too much time mourning because you have a lot of things to accomplish at this point! Just pick one thing and go with it and then pick another thing and go with it, etc. You'll see the days will get filled with more plans and you will no longer feel like you have nothing to do. It will be great!

     
    Old 02-21-2007, 07:36 AM   #21
    Catherine83
    Senior Member
    (female)
     
    Catherine83's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Dec 2005
    Posts: 157
    Catherine83 HB User
    Re: Deeply Depressed B/C of Controling Boyfriend

    I think my mom thinks that I'm crazy to let this guy get to me the way he has. She says that he isn't worth the tears and that is always easy to say but hard to apply. I am really trying (even though it has only been 2 days)... that seems like forever at this point.. It is much longer then I've ever done before so that is a start. I found this book online that I want to go out today and buy. It is by Susan Russo and is called "There Is Life After What's-His-Name". I don't know how good it is but it is worth the $14 and my time to read it. It can't hurt any. The summary of it is "In this simple yet enlightening guide, readers will discover when and if they should leave a relationship and how to let go and move on to regain their self-worth". This sounds like it is perfect for me so I'm going to give it a try today. I'll keep you posted...many thanks
    Also, If I sound stronger at times then other times then it's because you guys and my parents are my support. Instead of calling him or running back to him, I get on here and type you all when I start to feel down and it really helps. It really does.
    Also, I found my friend, Anna, from childhood last night. I didn't have a contact number but I found her on ******* and sent her a message. She was online and wrote me right back. It was so good talking to her and that's something that I haven't done in 4 years. We are going to try to plan to get together and have some girl time. I really need that!! She is thinking of moving to Atlanta which is only 2 hours away so it should be fun.

     
    Old 02-21-2007, 10:43 AM   #22
    Catherine83
    Senior Member
    (female)
     
    Catherine83's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Dec 2005
    Posts: 157
    Catherine83 HB User
    Re: Deeply Depressed B/C of Controling Boyfriend

    Hey everybody! I just wanted to point out 2 books that I got today while I was out with my mom. The first one is called "Red Flags!" by Gary Aumiller, PH D and it subtitled "How to know when you're dating a loser. Early Warning Signs, 25 Losers To Watch Out For, How to Dump Him and Move On". The other book is called "I Used to Miss Him but my Aim is Improving - Not Your Ordinary Breakup Survival Guide" by Alison James. Both looks really good and useful so I'm going to start in on those tonight....

    Also, this is no joke... as soon as I stepped onto the relationship isle at BooksAMillion, my text message sound went off on my phone. Guess who?? Yeah, it was him. He said "Where were you last night" and I erased it and ignored him...I turned my phone off. I can do this!!!!!

     
    Old 02-21-2007, 10:47 AM   #23
    SofteeatHeart
    Junior Member
    (female)
     
    SofteeatHeart's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Feb 2006
    Posts: 43
    SofteeatHeart HB User
    Re: Deeply Depressed B/C of Controling Boyfriend

    Catherine, you have gotten wonderful advice from people and as you said in your post, you realize you are NOT happy with this guy. I realize you have been with him for 8 years, but that is nothing honey compared to the rest of your life. Just imagine a future with a husband like this. In fact, once you marry him, IT WOULD EVEN GET WORSE!!!!!!! Do you want your future children growing up watching their father treat their mother like this, or a father that would be abusive to their children? Remember children grow up thinking that what happens in their home is normal and wind up repeating the patterns they observed in their homes of origin. That is why girls that were abused or witnessed abuse in their parent's home go on to usually mary absuive men and the boys that grow up in abusive homes, usually grow up to be abusive. YOU MUST NOT LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU, YOUR FUTURE CHILDREN, AND ALL THE GENERATIONS TO FOLLOW.
    Controlling behavior is abusive and it always gets WORSE over time. Please see someone for counseling. They can help you get stronger and help prevent you from becoming involved with someone else in the future that is abusive and controlling. DO NOT under any circumstances believe anything your boyfriend may try to tell you about him changing, etc, etc. His character is already formed and YOU DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER!!!!!!!!!!!! DUMP HIM FOR GOOD AND DON'T LOOK BACK!!!! There is someone wonderful waiting for you in your future, but you need to get emotionally healed first before pursuing another relationship.
    Please read the post below that was written in 2005 dealing with abuse. It may help. You are in my prayers.


    Green Eyes,
    Thank you for starting this thread. When I read that you had been involved in several abusive relationships, I knew you could help others from experiencing the same nightmare.
    I have personally known several women that have been involved in some type of abusive relationship with a man.
    Abuse does not discriminate. It is found in all walks of life, in all types of socio-economic status and is more common than most people would ever like to think. There is a great deal of shame involved and as a result, most women keep it a secret. Intelligent men often know how to hide it well, until they have swept the woman off their feet. They are often initially very romantic and the woman thinks she has found her dream man.
    I grew up in a verbally and emotionally abusive home. My father was often very loving and affectionate, however when he got angry, he was like a different person. His face became red and he yelled and screamed like a maniac at my mother and his children. He was sometimes physically abusive to the children, more so with the 2 youngest children, I later found out when I was grown. He is now deceased.
    One of my sister's married a policeman that turned out to be emotionally, verbally, physically and sexually abusive. The abuse worsened over the years until she finally had the courage to leave. The reason she stayed for so long is because she was so afraid of losing her children. He always told her he would take the girls away if she left and that is exactly what he did. He physically removed them from the house and she did not get them back until she finally went to court. He lied in court, never left a bruise that anyone saw, and because he was a policeman knew exactly how to play the system to his advantage. (Their story could have been made into a lifetime movie.) My sister has gone through hell and back, and this ....... comes across smelling like a rose in court. She has been divorced from him for about 7 years, however he still to this day, makes up stories or uses any disagreement over the children to bring her back to court, just to harass her.
    I only met him once or twice before she married him because we lived in different towns. The biggest red flags now that we look back is that he tried to get serious very quickly. They were engaged within 6 or 9 months and then he moved the wedding up at the last minute telling her they should get married right away since our grandparents were visiting from out of state, etc, etc. Sure enough, within the first year of marriage he moved her across the country away from her family and friends to move near his mom who he has a very strange relationship with. He was a mama's boy.!! (Isolating the woman is a COMMON trait of abusive men.)
    I have heard somewhere, that 1 out of like 3 women have been in an abusive relationship. It is much more common than anyone would ever think.
    I married a man that had a temper. I had no idea when I was dating him. He never lost his temper once. After we got married, it surfaced almost immediately. He yelled and screamed whenever he got angry, usually over ridiculous things. I came to find out, that my husband was abused verbally, physically and sexually as a child. He had never dealt with his anger over his painful childhood, and as a result would yell and scream at me when he was mad. Most of the time he was sweet and romantic and I was always taken off guard when he got like that. It was like always walking on eggshells. I finally went to my pastor for help and he sent us to a wonderful Christian counselor who helped my husband realize where the anger was coming from and because my husband wanted to change, he did. He has become a different man and with God's help he has had tremendous healing. I believe our story however is the EXCEPTION to the rule. Most abusive men do not change.
    I also have had 2 friends that were in abusive relationships and have worked with women that were in abusive relationships.
    Because of personal experience, I feel I have more knowledge than most people about this issue.
    For any single women reading this board, if you begin dating someone that is jealous, possessive, controlling, or has a short fuse --run away as fast as you can. These are usually traits of an abusive man. No matter how charming and romantic he seems, your life will be nothing but painful if you stay with him. Also, it is usually not a good sign if a guy tries to rush the relationship, and IT IS A BIG RED FLAG if he tries to isolate you from your family and/or friends. These men often begin the process of isolating you by making negative comments about your family and friends. They make it clear that they want you to keep your distance and you start feeling like you have to choose between them and him. A BIG WARNING SIGN!!!!
    When you date someone, find out about their childhood and their family relationships, including their parents' relationship. Most men that are abusive, grew up in an abusive home. If you date someone that puts you down, run the other way as well.
    Love should feel wonderful and should not be hurtful.
    Remember a healthy relationship is one in which 2 emotionally healthy individuals come together. Each person needs to be free to spend time with friends and family and enjoy hobbies on their own at times. It is not healthy to be with someone that wants you to spend all your time with them. Never, ever think you can change someone. If something bothers you about the other person before you get married, it will usually get even worse after you are married. Remember, the person is putting their BEST foot foward while they are dating you.
    I hope this thread prevents at least 1 person from becoming involved in an abusive relationship. If is does, it will have served its purpose.

     
    Old 02-21-2007, 02:28 PM   #24
    VideoKid
    Junior Member
    (female)
     
    Join Date: Mar 2006
    Location: Leeds, England
    Posts: 29
    VideoKid HB User
    Re: Deeply Depressed B/C of Controling Boyfriend

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Catherine83 View Post
    Videokid - I'm sorry about you and your situation...I hope I can get my head together as fast as you have. It is so hard sometimes though. I'll feel all strong and have this attitude like ")*&( him" and then I'll wake up at like 6 in the morning and have this terrible overwhelming feeling of being alone. That is what happened to me this morning.

    I was in my bed in the dark thinking about him at 6am!!!!! Oh my gosh this sucks. While I was in my bed I started thinking that maybe I should call him... maybe I should just talk to him ... maybe I should end it and that's why I should call.... but then as much as I want to pick up the phone and do that....I just can't. It breaks my heart to know that I cannot do that. I can't do it because I shouldn't do it. He doesn't deserve it. He should be the one to come crawling back to me and there is no reason that I should call him. What hurts me the most is feeling like he doesn't care that he acted this way or that he isn't calling on purpose. Even if I don't answer the phone, I want him to call so I know that he does care. I feel like I deserve to know that he cares. I just spent 8 years of my life with this guy and now I know he is talking bad about me to his guy friends and they are probably telling him that he needs out and all this crap.

    I just sit here and I'm looking around my room. Everything reminds me of him. From the lightbulb he put in for me to the side of the sofa that was his that smells of his cologne..... it's all there to remind me. :-(..

    I feel exactly the same, I actually slipped back a bit tonight, even though I was with my friends I felt depressed - not necessarily that I wasn't with him anymore, just that things seem so lonely now and I don't really feel attractive anymore. My friend cheered me up but I can't say I can smile anymore even though I'm free of him.
    I'm still trying to be strong, I still know he was no good for me but when I have my thoughts to myself for a minute I still think it'd be nice if he texted me or called to say he missed me or something, just so I know I wasn't the only one thinking of him.

    Just remember, we don't deserve these men who have caused us nothing but pain. It's lonely and the future looks bleak now but I know one day someone will come along who treats us with respect and it'll be worth it

     
    Old 02-21-2007, 04:49 PM   #25
    mommy2brandon24
    Member
    (female)
     
    mommy2brandon24's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Aug 2006
    Location: i live in the united states newyork.
    Posts: 82
    mommy2brandon24 HB User
    Re: Deeply Depressed B/C of Controling Boyfriend

    catherine83 and videokid from someone whos been through it ill tell yous one thing it is sooo hard to get over someone exspecially when you been with that person for so long. but it does get better right now its still new your hearts are still broken. but one day yous are gonna look back and think what did i ever see in these losers. if both of yous dont have noone to talk to you feel bad just come on here and ill talk to you girls and im sure everybody else will to. i hope everything works out for you two and both of yous find a nice guy who treats yous good.

     
    Old 02-22-2007, 04:42 AM   #26
    VideoKid
    Junior Member
    (female)
     
    Join Date: Mar 2006
    Location: Leeds, England
    Posts: 29
    VideoKid HB User
    Re: Deeply Depressed B/C of Controling Boyfriend

    I'm lucky that I've got a couple of good friends still but I feel for Catherine, it must be hard to do it on your own.

    I've got an idea that might work for you though. Last night I got talking to this guy online who is a filmmaker like myself. We starting chatting as I was interested in doing some camera work for him but as we swapped messages he admitted he thought I was pretty cute and we hit it off well.
    Now, I don't have any intentions with him as I'm still getting over my breakup but just to realise that I was attractive to someone else and that there was someone else out there who was interested in me was a huge boost! I went to bed feeling very happy last night for a change. That might not work for everyone but its worth baring in mind.

    In other news, I found out my ex isn't doing so well without me and is very sad and missing me alot which makes me feel great

     
    Old 02-22-2007, 05:02 AM   #27
    BDIESEL
    Newbie
    (male)
     
    BDIESEL's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Feb 2007
    Location: KENT
    Posts: 2
    BDIESEL HB User
    Re: Deeply Depressed B/C of Controling Boyfriend

    hi its hard for us to saybut think with youre head not youre heart this man you call youre partner,is controling and dangerous you need to leave him now.he has kicked you down so you feel worthless.youre made to feel you cant have friends because you are no good and this allows you to be isolated then he makes you feel you need him because no one else cares so becomes controlling you are human and you are worth more than that but he is a danger,please leave and listen to people whom love and care for you.it is hard but trust me time does make you feel youre worth more and later in life you will lokk back and think to yourself why did i put up with that crap.i went through the sma ething with my ex wife and i was made to feel i could not live my life without her,but i did and i do and met a lovely wife,and i become a stronger person,but like you i never listened to anyone yet had a breakdown over not believeing i couldnt live without her..good luck nobody can tell you iITS YOU WHOM CAN DO IT AND BETTER YOURESELF BUT LET YOURE CLOSETS FRIENDS AND FAMILY HELP YOU DONT TURN AWAY ANY EMOTIONAL HELP YOURE OFFERED GOD BLESS YOU

     
    Old 02-22-2007, 06:11 AM   #28
    tarheel247
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    tarheel247's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jan 2007
    Location: NC
    Posts: 607
    tarheel247 HB User
    Re: Deeply Depressed B/C of Controling Boyfriend

    so were you able to go all night without talking or texting him?

     
    Old 02-22-2007, 11:11 AM   #29
    happymom28
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    happymom28's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Oct 2006
    Location: New Hampshire
    Posts: 4,195
    happymom28 HB User
    Re: Deeply Depressed B/C of Controling Boyfriend

    All I read was your original post so I'm sorry if I repeat anything that was already said.

    BREAK UP WITH HIM!!!!!!!!! Don't answer his calls. Don't call him. Go back to school part-time and get a part-time job. Join a gym. Worry about you and ONLY YOU!

    He is such bad news and you know it or you wouldn't have come on here. I have been where you are and I know that feeling of not being able to breath. I know that feeling of emptiness you get when you are not with him. I know that it feels like life will be over without him. But it is exactly the opposite!

    Think about the girl you were 8 years ago. She was pretty great, wasn't she? Full of life and couldn't wait to see what was out there to be discovered. You can be that girl again. She is right under the surface begging to come out but you are far to affraid to let her.

    Breaking up is going to suck! I won't lie to you. You will struggle with wanting to get back together with him because it is comfortable (even though it is miserable). You need to keep yourself distracted so that you won't go back. That is why I am telling you to go to school, get a job, etc.. This will help you to feel better about you and get you out there to meet new people.

    Your boyfriend has you exactly where he wants you. He can do whatever he wants and treat you however he sees fit and you won't say or do anything about it. I'm sure he would never suspect that you would break up with him. He will say and do ANYTHING to keep it from happening, so be prepared. My ex threatened suicide on more than one occassion. It's all manipulation. You have to be stronger than that.

    Please listen to your gut instinct and your parents. Believe me when I tell you that if you end it with him you will be a whole new girl by this time next year! Hard to imagine? Three years ago I never would've imagined that I could be this happy and whole again.

    You are a wonderful and strong person. Prove it to yourself and take back control of your life!!!!!!!!

     
    Old 02-22-2007, 12:44 PM   #30
    Ladypepper
    Inactive
    (female)
     
    Join Date: Mar 2006
    Location: California, USA
    Posts: 232
    Ladypepper HB User
    Re: Deeply Depressed B/C of Controling Boyfriend

    Cathrine and whoever else was dealing with a controlling boyfriend, I just have to say this, please, please, PLEASE do not stay with a boyfriend who is so controlling and insecure. It will NEVER get better. Even if you talk to them and explain what the problem is, they may promise to do better and promise to change... and they may change for a time... but it will not last.

    I have seen it so many times. I was in a relationship like that. It was miserable but I was so worried to be alone... I didn't realize that I was afraid. I thought I was in love... but it was so far from love.

    There is nothing better than a healthy happy relationship! Seriously, you will KNOW the difference immediately. My husband is proof of that to me. Life is just too short to be living like that. This is the ONLY life you will get, do not waste it on a man who doesn't care or respect YOU. And that is exactly what it is... they do not care - it is not love. It is an ego trip and a control issue.

    Sorry - I don't mean to sound harsh, I just hate to see someone be in that situation. Enjoy your life!!!

     
    Closed Thread

    Related Topics
    Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
    Okay, not sure if I am depressed or just messed up... anyone up for a life story? User#1337 Depression 9 08-12-2008 10:23 PM
    What NOT to say to a depressed person kerry1 Depression 185 06-25-2005 09:00 AM




    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Search this Thread:

    Advanced Search

    Posting Rules
    You may not post new threads
    You may not post replies
    You may not post attachments
    You may not edit your posts

    BB code is On
    Smilies are On
    [IMG] code is Off
    HTML code is Off
    Trackbacks are Off
    Pingbacks are Off
    Refbacks are Off




    Sign Up Today!

    Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

    I want my free account

    All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:25 AM.





    © 2020 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
    Do not copy or redistribute in any form!