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  • I'm SO tired of being undesirable to the opposite gender!

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    Old 06-14-2007, 05:28 PM   #16
    xanadu2
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    Re: I'm SO tired of being undesirable to the opposite gender!

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by EDC_Light View Post
    *Looking* . . . Hmmm, . . . sucker mouth, . . . large mouth bass, . . . . bottom feeder, . . . . Oh NO, SHARK!! Run away!!. . . . . . Let's see, . . electric eel. . . . .could be interesting, . . . . . sea horse. . . . could be a lot of fun. . . . . .hey, dolphin. They're pretty smart. . . . . Salmon. Tasty!
    Oh, lovely!

    Personally I don't like being given the cliche about the other fish in the sea. (sorry to the person who said it, but then you weren't saying it to me, so it's for the OP to decide it's all right.)

    But I never thought of looking at all these other fish like this!

     
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    Old 06-15-2007, 06:34 AM   #17
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    Re: I'm SO tired of being undesirable to the opposite gender!

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by xanadu2 View Post
    Oh, lovely!

    Personally I don't like being given the cliche about the other fish in the sea. (sorry to the person who said it, but then you weren't saying it to me, so it's for the OP to decide it's all right.)

    But I never thought of looking at all these other fish like this!
    Well, . . . if you only look at "the other fish" as all being perch, . . . it doesn't seem that exciting. Normally, I don't like the "other fish in the sea" analogy either. To me, it's too close to the saying, "One woman is pretty much like the next." But when you see the diversity of life in the sea, or ocean, . . . .

    Catch is, . . . . which one will attach to MY line?

     
    Old 06-15-2007, 07:45 AM   #18
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    Re: I'm SO tired of being undesirable to the opposite gender!

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by ErimusValidus View Post
    EDC_Light, dude, I feel you. I find myself wondering where I went wrong with my ex and the answer is simply that I was too nice. She got bored because I was no challenge for her. When I first met her she told me I was a "nice guy". I was drunk and I immediately went off on one about how that's the worst thing any guy can hear a girl say to him because it obviously means that there's no attraction there. Well, somehow, this nice guy won that girl's heart. But it was doomed to failure from the start because I'm just a "nice guy" I don't have it in me to be bad though...

    Sorry - This is kinda off the poster's original post, but I had to jump in when I read this post.
    Being married doesn't mean you have to be "a challenge" to your wife. Game playing though stupid, should be left for dating - not marriages. And being a nice guy isn't a bad thing.

     
    Old 06-15-2007, 08:06 AM   #19
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    Re: I'm SO tired of being undesirable to the opposite gender!

    Yeah I agree, it really depends on the girl, some girls find 'nice guys' too predictable and boring.

    But the best girls to attract in life are actually the girls who want a 'nice guy'!

     
    Old 06-15-2007, 09:08 AM   #20
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    Re: I'm SO tired of being undesirable to the opposite gender!

    As I [may] have said before, . . . . I am less interested in being a "nice guy". . . but rather being a "good guy". A "good guy" can be just as nice as the "nice guy", but will not let someone walk all over them like the "nice guy" will do (because that guy doesn't want to hurt the girl's feelings or something). A "good guy" will stand up for himself when injustice is present. So, be a "good guy" and be nice because it is the good thing to do.


     
    Old 06-15-2007, 10:30 AM   #21
    xanadu2
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    Re: I'm SO tired of being undesirable to the opposite gender!

    Hi EDC_Light,

    I don’t feel well qualified to post on a lot of threads, but I relate to the title of yours. I feel I have two things to say; the bad news and the good.

    First the bad news: I am listening to what you are saying about the kind of relationship you would like, however I firmly believe that remarks like: ‘you are sure to find someone’, represent something I call The Great Romantic Myth.

    It might happen or it might not. I’m sorry this is not more promising, but in my circumstances, what else can I say? I’m 63 and single, quite possibly for life. People tell me I do all the right things to be attractive, yet it took me 40 years to find my first long term boyfriend, and then he ran off with another woman. I don’t have to feel sad and lonely, however I joined this forum to try to understand more about the factors that make love so elusive. But hey, youv'e had a Divorce! That's more than I ever had!

    Now for the good news. The state of your love life does not have to affect your self-esteem. If I decided that my inability to find a partner was some negative reflection on myself, I would have no self-esteem whatsoever by now! Actually I have plenty! I realised years ago that I should found it on the many things I’m good at, not the few things I’m bad at. So I do have a life that on the whole is very happy, and although I’d like to share it with a loving man, I don’t need a partner to complete my self-image. In other words, I like myself.

    No-one can tell another person what to do, because that becomes patronising. I just hope I can encourage you to see yourself first and foremost as a person who is good at certain things, and take it from there.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by EDC_Light View Post

    And if I hear one more bit of "Christian advise" about how "God will be your spouse", I'm going to throw something . . . . . really hard . . . . at something maybe very breakable!!! Or whatever.
    Oh, yes, I know that feeling!

    Last edited by xanadu2; 06-15-2007 at 10:32 AM.

     
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