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  • Long-term single Ive found the answer!

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    Old 11-30-2007, 03:36 PM   #136
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    Re: Long-term single – I’ve found the answer!

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Larrylou'smom View Post
    He took the spare key I left and tried to start it. It wouldn't. On his way back into the house, he dropped my key and it fell through the slats in the wooden porch to the ground underneath. He called me with an "oh well" attitude and told me I'd have to bring my own key and get another copy, that he'd lost my spare. My boyfriend on the other hand, who wasn't even the one who had dropped the key, and who was concerned about me and my car rather than being inconvenieced by my car being outside his house, and who gladly gave me a ride whenever I really needed it, went out on the porch with a coat hanger and spent several minutes fishing my key out from under the porch. I didn't even ask him to. Like I've said, he wasn't perfect by any means, but he had a goodness in him that is rare and very very hard to find. Yes, there are more fish in the sea, there are men everywhere to be had, but not all of them would fish out my key with a coat hanger for me. It just kills that I had that and blew it and lost it. Forgiveness is a big part of letting go and moving on. I haven't figured out how to forgive myself for my mistakes and missteps that cost me a good man, that made the difference between the life I have and the life I could have had.
    This is the saddest thing I ever read. It is not a rare quality for a person to take a few minutes to fish a key out of a porch. And the fact that this is remembered ten years later and trumps being verbally abusive and according to you, borderline physically abusive, is just unbelievable. The situations you've described many, many times do not paint the picture of a man possessing any special 'goodness', and certainly not more 'goodness' than the average human being.

    I know it is hard to have friends and family tell you to get over it and move on, but they are trying to help you. And they are right. It's been too long. Get help with this, you're torturing yourself for no reason.

     
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    Old 11-30-2007, 04:14 PM   #137
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    Re: Long-term single – I’ve found the answer!

    Quote:
    So I think if you have the trifecta of Crazy, Cynical and Scantily Dressed, then you're good. Not saying you should be like me, or that you'd even want anything to do with most of the guys I associate myself with.
    That's *exactly* what it is. I've been told that I am not fun enough because I don't drink, smoke or go clubbing every night. Some guys have even described me as being bourgeis. Being wholesome is not exactly going to win you a lot of dates even if you are really pretty. Sure, I get some guys who appear interested and wouldn't mind sleeping with me but they don't put in a lot of effort because I don't exude that crazy and extroverted vibe. this is something that i have been very insecure about. i even beat myself up over it. i thought going to a bar and having a few drinks by myself, easily weaning myself onto drinking and stuff to make myself appear more approachable and less bourgeis.

    my ex friend who i was envious of because she had a boyfriend was defintely batsh1t crazy and a troublemaker. she'd tell me stories of how she cursed out some old guy in mcdonald's or almost got into a fight with the manager at burger king. her boyfriend is the complete opposite, he's attractive, calm, very lazy but if he saw his potential he'd be in a better place than he is now. and i never saw what he got in my friend. she's not that pretty yet she's crazy. you'd think he'd at least settle for a girl who was at least a hottie but crazy. oh well..

     
    Old 11-30-2007, 04:35 PM   #138
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    Re: Long-term single – I’ve found the answer!

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by bulletproof View Post
    It is not a rare quality for a person to take a few minutes to fish a key out of a porch. And the fact that this is remembered ten years later and trumps being verbally abusive and according to you, borderline physically abusive, is just unbelievable. The situations you've described many, many times do not paint the picture of a man possessing any special 'goodness', and certainly not more 'goodness' than the average human being.
    Firstly, Larrylou'smom; Rose made an important point earlier; the woman your ex is now with has also inherited Mr Hyde along with Dr Jeckyl, so you probably ought to stop imagining how perfect their life has turned out to be.

    In relation to the quote above; I'm sorry LLM, but I have to support Bulletproof in this comment. I have NEVER been intimately involved with a man, nor accepted a friend into my life, nor even come across very many people who wouldn't take the time to do such a simple thing for somebody... anybody!

    This is something I'd be willing to do for a total stranger, as I'm sure the majority of people would be. In fact, I've done more for total strangers; I once walked with a stranger for about half an hour in the snow to get her to her front door because she was a very young woman and seemed to me to be pretty naive and not streetwise enough to be out walking in the dark in the early hours of the morning, and that was considerably more taxing than fishing a key out of a drain since I had to freeze my arse off for about twentyfive minutes in both directions. (I had to walk to my own home after I'd walked her to hers as this was in my pre-driving days)

    My sister (only about a month ago) came home from work at 2am and made up a packet of sandwiches and heated soup in a flask for some poor character waiting on the footpath for an airport bus that apparently wasn't due to arrive for a further two hours. My sister inquired what she was doing sitting at the side of the road at 2am and promptly ran back down to that girl with hot soup and sandwiches when all she wanted to do was get into her bed at the end of a long shift at work.

    I really don't mean to be hurtful here LLM, and I am genuinely sorry to have to say this; but decency is more commonplace than you seem to realise and if this is how you measure the goodness inherent to this man I think it's time you reevaluated your ideas about what makes a person special.

    Last edited by Laylah; 11-30-2007 at 04:47 PM. Reason: misspelling

     
    Old 11-30-2007, 05:33 PM   #139
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    Re: Long-term single – I’ve found the answer!

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by JennyLee123 View Post
    That's *exactly* what it is. I've been told that I am not fun enough because I don't drink, smoke or go clubbing every night. Some guys have even described me as being bourgeis. Being wholesome is not exactly going to win you a lot of dates even if you are really pretty. Sure, I get some guys who appear interested and wouldn't mind sleeping with me but they don't put in a lot of effort because I don't exude that crazy and extroverted vibe. this is something that i have been very insecure about. i even beat myself up over it. i thought going to a bar and having a few drinks by myself, easily weaning myself onto drinking and stuff to make myself appear more approachable and less bourgeis.

    This is a sad but perfect example of how some young women are coerced into believing being themselves is just not good enough.

    The reason guys don't put in that extra effort with you JennyLee is not because you don't exude "that crazy and extroverted vibe" (); it's because you don't exude that slutty and whoerry vibe. - It's because they know you're not about to fall down and throw your legs open after a bottle of vodka like a lot of your peers.

    I'm sorry to be so vulgarly blunt, but that is the truth of the situation. I'm sorry, but a lot of you young women need to wake up and the * cop on!

     
    Old 12-01-2007, 03:04 AM   #140
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    Re: Long-term single – I’ve found the answer!

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by bulletproof View Post
    This is the saddest thing I ever read. It is not a rare quality for a person to take a few minutes to fish a key out of a porch. And the fact that this is remembered ten years later and trumps being verbally abusive and according to you, borderline physically abusive, is just unbelievable. The situations you've described many, many times do not paint the picture of a man possessing any special 'goodness', and certainly not more 'goodness' than the average human being.

    I know it is hard to have friends and family tell you to get over it and move on, but they are trying to help you. And they are right. It's been too long. Get help with this, you're torturing yourself for no reason.
    Oh, c'mon! I'm sure it's not the saddest thing you've ever read in relation to missing/abducted children, stories from the war or Katrina, etc. It's not even the saddest thing I've read here. But, well, let's just say more goodness than any other person I've ever met. And my point is, if fishing the key out from the porch was no big deal, and it took longer than a few minutes, why didn't the guy who dropped it do it? That's just one little thing I held up as an example because it happened to cross my mind the other day. It kind of sounds to me like you've just been rather lucky in the people that you've met. I know you don't believe in luck, but I don't really see anything else that explains certain elusive things. But he was still one of the kindest people I've ever known, and one of the small handful of people I've come across in my life who cared about me as much as he did. Ironic. When I tell the truth about the bad times, I get chastised for making him out to be evil and villifying him. When I tell the truth about the good times, I get poo pooed for being pathetic and sappy and 'needing help with this.' *sigh* seems I can't win for losing!!!

    No, of course it doesn't trump the times he was short and verbally abusive, etc. Which is why my head knows we weren't right for each other and it wouldn't have worked, and although I miss the good times, I would never really want to go back to the way it was in total in reality. That's the biggest lesson I learned from the whole experience, and why I don't take garbage from people, potential dates, etc. like I used to, so in that respect, the experience was a good thing, painful as it was. But like I said, that doesn't stop my heart from missing the good times, and there were some really great times, too. As much of a pain as he could be sometimes, the best times with him were some of the very best times of my life. I have "gotten help" with this, actually, four years worth. It just didn't take. In the end, there just aren't any words anyone can say that are more powerful than actual life experience, than actually living through, feeling, experiencing things. It would be a neat trick to "get over" what still amounts to the time in my life when I felt most alive, the only time I ever came close to feeling accepted, cared about, and that I actually belonged in this world, to get over the only hands that ever caressed my body, the only lips that ever kissed mine, by far and away the most intense and passionate and emotionally engaging experience I ever had. I think I easily could have if I had met someone else who I connected with and who treated me well and who I grew to care about on some level. That just never happened, despite my very best efforts to make it happen.

     
    Old 12-01-2007, 03:22 AM   #141
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    Re: Long-term single – I’ve found the answer!

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Laylah View Post
    I have NEVER been intimately involved with a man, nor accepted a friend into my life, nor even come across very many people who wouldn't take the time to do such a simple thing for somebody... anybody!

    I really don't mean to be hurtful here LLM, and I am genuinely sorry to have to say this; but decency is more commonplace than you seem to realise and if this is how you measure the goodness inherent to this man I think it's time you reevaluated your ideas about what makes a person special.
    No, you're not being hurtful at all. There may be plenty of people out there who would show this amount of kindness to anybody on the street, I've just never met any. The guy who dropped my key in the first place surely didn't. No, decency is not more commonplace that I REALIZE, it's more commonplace than I have EXPERIENCED. There's a pretty big difference. What you said here,

    "My sister (only about a month ago) came home from work at 2am and made up a packet of sandwiches and heated soup in a flask for some poor character waiting on the footpath for an airport bus that apparently wasn't due to arrive for a further two hours. My sister inquired what she was doing sitting at the side of the road at 2am and promptly ran back down to that girl with hot soup and sandwiches when all she wanted to do was get into her bed at the end of a long shift at work."

    See, you think this kind of thing is commonplace, but I have never met ANYONE who would have done this, who even would have thought of doing this, except maybe my ex. He could be this type of person sometimes, but ironically, he's the only person I've known in my life who would do something like what your sister said. I play in a band with a co worker and we were rehearsing in a church when this pregnant woman came in near tears and said she and her kids had driven from Minnesota and she had lost her wallet, her credit cards and money, etc. and could we help. The other band members directed her to the police station down the street, she said she'd already been and there wasn't much they could do. I got the feeling she just needed some cash for gas, food, whatever. If I had been alone, I might have offered her a 20$ bill, but the other band members were being very stand offish to her, telling her to try the police station again, and then turning their backs and continuing loading up the equipment. She left and they locked the door behind her, and the next week one guy even made a joke about it, and these are Christian church going people. I told my co worker the next day I had felt bad about not giving her some money. And she said "well, you can feel bad about it if you want, but let me just say, there will always be people like that and you can't help them all." No I can't help them all, but I could have helped that one. I decided the next time I was faced with a situation like that, I would offer help and some money no matter what others around me are saying or doing, because that's who I want to be. Now, my co worker is ver nice and generous to ME, just not in general. So I hate to say it, but the kindness your sister showed, at least in my experience, is indeed very very rare and uncommon.

    And no, I no longer waste time with selfish people who aren't kind, respectful and giving. Which is why I spend so much of my time alone.

    Like I said, the key thing was just one small example. I guess I used a bad one. But no, that one little example is not how I measure goodness in anyone, or my ex. He had goodness in him because he could be more generous than the average bear, oh, I could sit here and type for an hour or so about the things that made him kind and sweet, but, no, just suffice it to say, it wasn't any one thing, but millions of tiny little things, he just had a really sweet, sensitive side, and most of all, I could talk to him, like I could never talk to anyone else. He heard me, was really the first person I'd ever met in my whole life who actually heard me. I could be in the worst mood, or upset about something bad that had just happened, and I'd talk to him for 5 minutes and I'd feel just fine again. But I've also learned from him not only what to look for in a potential date/ relationship, but also what to avoid, so in that respect it was a very beneficial learning experience.

    Rose, yes, it's been suggested by others that perhaps he was bi-polar or something like it. I don't think it was quite that severe, I personally think it was at least in part, PTSD. The thing is, he was also just in a really unhappy place in his life and I think that had a lot to do with it. It just hurts when our mutual friend related stories of how he gets along with his wife, and he makes allowances for her, compromises for her, does things for her, shows her a loyalty and a devotion that he didn't give to me, and even though it's none of my business and has nothing to do with who I am, of course I can't help but wonder at least a little bit about how much of that was me not being "worthy" of it. He wasn't perfect by any means, but he was someone special to me, and it does hurt to know that I was wrong when I thought I was special to him, too, that he saw me just like everyone else in the world sees me, annoying, a bit silly, cute, funny and amusing, but no one of real significance, and not someone you want in your life in a major, deeply emotionally intimate way. But since he's the only man I've ever met in my life who actually wanted to go out with me more than once that I wasn't totally repulsed by, it's not so easy to just write it off and get on with things. It's a little like being blind your whole life, then having sight for one day, and then going blind again. No matter what you saw, good bad, beautiful or ugly, whatever you saw will be burned in your brain for the rest of your life.

    Also, let's keep in mind guys, this place is sort of like the wailing wall of the internet. Most of us come here for the express purpose of whining, crying, pi$$ing and moaning and complaining and revealing the deepest, darkest, buried deep down parts of what we don't talk about to anyone else. What you read here is not all there is to the people who write here.

    Last edited by Larrylou'smom; 12-01-2007 at 04:46 AM.

     
    Old 12-01-2007, 03:31 AM   #142
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    Re: Long-term single – I’ve found the answer!

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by JennyLee123 View Post
    That's *exactly* what it is. I've been told that I am not fun enough because I don't drink, smoke or go clubbing every night. Some guys have even described me as being bourgeis. Being wholesome is not exactly going to win you a lot of dates even if you are really pretty. Sure, I get some guys who appear interested and wouldn't mind sleeping with me but they don't put in a lot of effort because I don't exude that crazy and extroverted vibe. this is something that i have been very insecure about. i even beat myself up over it. i thought going to a bar and having a few drinks by myself, easily weaning myself onto drinking and stuff to make myself appear more approachable and less bourgeis.

    my ex friend who i was envious of because she had a boyfriend was defintely batsh1t crazy and a troublemaker. she'd tell me stories of how she cursed out some old guy in mcdonald's or almost got into a fight with the manager at burger king. her boyfriend is the complete opposite, he's attractive, calm, very lazy but if he saw his potential he'd be in a better place than he is now. and i never saw what he got in my friend. she's not that pretty yet she's crazy. you'd think he'd at least settle for a girl who was at least a hottie but crazy. oh well..
    There's nothing at all with being wholesome. There are few people more goody goody than me. I don't drink at all, don't smoke, run from drugs like the plague, even pot, I'm 42 and still a virgin. But this is who I am, and yes I've taken a tremendous amount of kidding, teasing, razzing about it and people have tried to change me, get to "loosen up" etc. I am what works for me, what I am most comfortable with and what makes the most sense to me. Being with someone who can't appreciate who you are when you are being the you that YOU love the most, well, that person isn't worth being with anyway.

    Keep your head up and keep searching until you find the right kind of men, men who will love, cherish and truly appreciate who you really are.

     
    Old 12-01-2007, 06:31 AM   #143
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    Re: Long-term single – I’ve found the answer!

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Larrylou'smom View Post
    Also, let's keep in mind guys, this place is sort of like the wailing wall of the internet. Most of us come here for the express purpose of whining, crying, pi$$ing and moaning and complaining and revealing the deepest, darkest, buried deep down parts of what we don't talk about to anyone else. What you read here is not all there is to the people who write here.
    Firstly, I understand this totally; I've said things on here I'd never consider discussing in my day to day life, so I know anyone drawing conclusions about who I am based solely on my own healthboards threads wouldn't be painting an accurate picture of me in their minds.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Larrylou'smom View Post
    I play in a band with a co worker and we were rehearsing in a church when this pregnant woman came in near tears and said she and her kids had driven from Minnesota and she had lost her wallet, her credit cards and money, etc. and could we help. The other band members directed her to the police station down the street, she said she'd already been and there wasn't much they could do. I got the feeling she just needed some cash for gas, food, whatever. If I had been alone, I might have offered her a 20$ bill, but the other band members were being very stand offish to her, telling her to try the police station again, and then turning their backs and continuing loading up the equipment. She left and they locked the door behind her, and the next week one guy even made a joke about it, and these are Christian church going people.
    They are church going people LLM, but that doesn't automatically make them Christians. They don't sound like practicing Christians to me, they sound like practicing hypocrites, because anybody who can treat a pregnant woman like that, while she's standing there in tears appealing for help with a car full of kids and not a cent to her name and obviously regards going to the church looking for a bit of Christian charity as her last resort, I don't even know what to say; that's * ing disgraceful and they are total hypocrites if they can behave like that in a house of God.

    I think you've established that decency is pretty thin on the ground where you live and it sounds to me like it is actually colouring your perceptions of people in a negative way. Maybe you should move?

     
    Old 12-01-2007, 10:19 AM   #144
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    Re: Long-term single – I’ve found the answer!

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Larrylou'smom View Post
    There's nothing at all with being wholesome. There are few people more goody goody than me. I don't drink at all, don't smoke, run from drugs like the plague, even pot, I'm 42 and still a virgin. But this is who I am, and yes I've taken a tremendous amount of kidding, teasing, razzing about it and people have tried to change me, get to "loosen up" etc. I am what works for me, what I am most comfortable with and what makes the most sense to me. Being with someone who can't appreciate who you are when you are being the you that YOU love the most, well, that person isn't worth being with anyway.

    Keep your head up and keep searching until you find the right kind of men, men who will love, cherish and truly appreciate who you really are.
    I'm still learning how to accept myself. I have a long way to go. I am even under the pressure of my parents to be more like a 'young person' I don't know they are always griping about why I dont go out and party all the time yet they will chastize me if I'm not doing well in school and 'getting it together'. It's like which is it?

    I am an introvert and enjoy doing things like going to the mall, the library or just staying at home and relaxing. If I am at home my dad will walk past my room and make comments saying "why are you just staring at the tv like that? you must have a mental problem" for the longest he kept telling my mother that I was mentally ill because I am always at home in my room. I thought this was normal?? I don't stay in my room 24/7, but I will honestly admit the days that I am off from work or not in school, I really love to just crash in my room the whole day. When I work overtime, and have extra money I don't stay home at all. I am usually out at the mall buying things like makeup, clothes and getting my hair done. I am home more often when I am "broke". Still, my dad will claim that I don't do anything despite the fact that there has been many times where i have been gone the entire day from 12-11pm at night. i think he does this to irritate me

    I did go through a social slump where there wasn't much for me to do but go to work and then go to school. I kinda lost touch with friends for awhile. I don't know why my parents, particularly my dad made this out to be such a tragedy. He really made me feel bad about myself. Like there is something wrong with being myself which is a bit introverted at times. He always talks about what he did when he was younger, saying how he used to go out every night. When he did this, it would give me great anxiety about my own youth. so I started going places everyday..to the museum, walking downtown by myself just trying to get out there more. this still did not satisfy him. because one day that i decided to stay home and rest he would complain about how i don't go anywhere even though i've been occupied with other things the entire week--work or school.

    let's not even get on my love life. i was a "lesbian" for awhile because i didn't have a boyfriend. he started telling my mom that my ex best friend was my girlfriend and said that it wasn't normal for us to hang out so much. so you can clearly see why i am often confused and have anxiety about what i should be fulfiling in my life during my early 20s there is really no pleasing my parents. if i stay home too much then i am mentally ill, and if i go out with a friend all the time this person is my 'lover'.

    i cannot wait until I gather enough money to move out so i can feel free to just be myself

    Last edited by JennyLee123; 12-01-2007 at 10:21 AM.

     
    Old 12-01-2007, 10:24 AM   #145
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    Re: Long-term single – I’ve found the answer!

    Another thing, the married guy at work who is interested in me tells me that I am not like most young people. Saying that most people in my age group would not be working all the time, they'd be finding ways to go out with their friends. he told me not to be offended by this but i am. I just have this anxiety that I am wasting my youth away. I am trying to build a career for myself so I won't be 30 and have nothing to show for all the hardwork I've done throughout the years..yet at the same time I want to enjoy myself.

     
    Old 12-01-2007, 11:53 AM   #146
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    Re: Long-term single – I’ve found the answer!

    Quote:
    And you reckon you got it from that bloke who got into it on the phone with another woman while you'd just been making out on the bed?

    I'm sorry Gypsy, but I'd honestly rather go celibate than get involved with the type of guys you described in that last post!
    No, that's why I went out into the hallway and kissed another guy

    See, the crux of my problem is that when I pick out a boyfriend, I do it based on how much of a stir I can cause. I don't consider if we are compatible, I just think of how much the union will be talked about. I hear "What are you doing with HIM??" all of the time, and that's because I always have my own secret motives. That's why I've gotten involved with someone a lot younger than me, someone a lot older than me, a famous musician, and some other ones that I won't divulge. I eye up a group of guys and instead of going for the one that looks the most sane and put together, I'll go after whichever one looks the most "interesting" and will have people scratching their heads. Hey, I like drama too. I can't stand to be bored.

    But my point was, even though the men I chase are always in some way incompatible from the get go, I would never and have never put up with being abused or cheated on. I don't have a sixth sense that lets me know before I get into a relationship whether the person is going to get all wonky on me or not. Like with that particular ex, he swept me off my feet and it took me awhile to realize that he was not over his ex. I have stayed in less than ideal relationships but that was only because I was getting something out of it and I felt that the ends justified the means, like my most recent ex who is annoying and repeats himself a lot but gives me money.

    My post was mainly tongue in cheek, but I am truly baffled as to why ladies like LLM's and xanadu cannot seem to find a boyfriend. I don't know what you mean by "type of guys I describe." I really don't judge people and as long as I know they are not a bad person, I will get them a go.

    JennyLee, you are most certainly not mentally ill. Just live your life however YOU want to live it and enjoy yourself. That's all.
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    Old 12-01-2007, 02:35 PM   #147
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    Re: Long-term single – I’ve found the answer!

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by GypsyArcher View Post
    See, the crux of my problem is that when I pick out a boyfriend, I do it based on how much of a stir I can cause. I don't consider if we are compatible, I just think of how much the union will be talked about.
    I'm sorry to hear of any young woman choosing her partners tailored to elicit a particular public response. To be honest I think it is probably the most foolish and infantile reason why anybody would choose a partner, and honestly, it’s not something I’d expect to hear out of the mouth of anyone other than perhaps a particularly attention-starved thirteen year old child.

     
    Old 12-01-2007, 05:07 PM   #148
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    Re: Long-term single – I’ve found the answer!

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by JennyLee123 View Post
    Another thing, the married guy at work who is interested in me tells me that I am not like most young people. Saying that most people in my age group would not be working all the time, they'd be finding ways to go out with their friends. he told me not to be offended by this but i am. I just have this anxiety that I am wasting my youth away. I am trying to build a career for myself so I won't be 30 and have nothing to show for all the hardwork I've done throughout the years..yet at the same time I want to enjoy myself.
    I'm sorry your folks aren't more supportive of you and put that kind of pressure on you. i suppose they mean well, but sometimes parents, in their zeal to see us have 'the best' they do things that aren't ultimately in our best interests. I know I became a LOT saner once I moved out of my parents' home. It took a while for me as well, but yes, absolutely living on your own, making your own rules, taking responsibility for yourself and your own actions, will definitely feel totally different. You will find a healthier place.

    In the meantime, I guess the best advice I can give you for now, is just listen to your own heart and as long as you are not hurting yourself or anyone else, do whatever pleases you. But of course, balance is the key. I wouldn't say it's necessarily unhealthy to spend so much time alone, but it does show a lack of balance in your life. Perhaps you'd feel a bit better and wouldn't feel like you're squandering your youth if you worked toward finding a better balance. Don't spend all your time alone, don't spend all your time working, don't spend all your time with your friends, or with one particular friend. Mix it up a bit. Play when you can, work when you should, meet new people when you get the chance, etc.

     
    Old 12-02-2007, 11:15 AM   #149
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    Re: Long-term single – I’ve found the answer!

    Laylah, I really don't understand why you have such a problem with me and seem to take such offense at everything I do. I acknowlegded that choosing partners due to the stir I believe it will cause isn't exactly condusive to finding a compatible, stable partnership. But maybe I'm not ready for that. Maybe I don't even believe in love or soul mates or happily ever after. Maybe I just want to enjoy being young, having fun, and stirring the pot a little. So? It's my life. Live and let live
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    Old 12-02-2007, 11:42 AM   #150
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    Re: Long-term single – I’ve found the answer!

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by GypsyArcher View Post
    Laylah, I really don't understand why you have such a problem with me and seem to take such offense at everything I do. I acknowlegded that choosing partners due to the stir I believe it will cause isn't exactly condusive to finding a compatible, stable partnership. But maybe I'm not ready for that. Maybe I don't even believe in love or soul mates or happily ever after. Maybe I just want to enjoy being young, having fun, and stirring the pot a little. So? It's my life. Live and let live
    I don't have a personal problem with you Gypsy, and I reckon it'd be a bit hard to cultivate one across the width of the Atlantic ocean! I don't have a problem with "everything" you do either; I just think that the method of choosing partners with the intention of "causing a stir" is about the most childish thing I've ever heard.

    You obviously don't appreciate my saying that, but I'm not saying it with the intention of causing offence, that is just my honest opinion on that reason (if you could even call it a reason) for forming a relationship Gyspy.

     
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