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  • His highschool girlfriend after 20 years.

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    Old 12-01-2007, 01:03 PM   #61
    amy2705
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    Re: His highschool girlfriend after 20 years.

    I would NOT be happy if my SO suddenly felt the need to have pictures of him and his ex girlfriend from 20 years ago. What on earth would he want those for?? I can understand a group shot that she happened to be in. Maybe. But defo not if they were all "couple-y" in it.

    I also can't think of a SINGLE good reason why his ex-gf from 20 years ago would want him to have pictures of them, as a couple, from 20 years ago! It's just weird. IMO, the only reason would be to rehash something and remind him of how they used to be. What the h*ll is the point of that???

    Her offering the pictures once could be put down to bad judgment. But offering them again, years later, after he's said no once alredy is just desperate and a bit sad. Why is she so keen on him having them? Why keep offering? And if she really wants him to have them, why not just send them with the invitation in the mail? There is no need to contact him. And doing it publicly is just a way of publicly reminding him and anyone else on the board that they used to be a couple. It also suggests (since she's offering) that he might actually still be interested. It's just annoying since she's obviously trying to relive some HS drama. But you know what, it also just makes her look like a desperate fool. So while you might be (as I would be) annoyed at the public aspect of it, she's really just embarrassing herself. And your husband doesn't even want them. She's being pathetic and she's doing it publicly. If I saw a post like that on a HS forum board, I'd just think she was a sado with nothing better to do.

     
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    Old 12-01-2007, 02:30 PM   #62
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    Re: His highschool girlfriend after 20 years.

    People can think I'm a B or whatever...I don't care but any EX gf picture that's ever in MY HOUSE is going through the shredder!!!!! EX girlfriends are bad news! I think that for some reason, it's much easier for men to move on and forget about old loves than it is for women...maybe I'm just stereotyping people but it just seems that way. I know that when my husband and I first got together, his EX just thought that she could have her new BF for the sex and she could keep MY MAN for the friendship and companionship...that went over like a lead balloon! NO WAY! Now that he's my husband...that woman better not come anywhere near my husband!
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    Old 12-01-2007, 03:50 PM   #63
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    Re: His highschool girlfriend after 20 years.

    So Wishgirl, have you decided what you're going to do?

     
    Old 12-01-2007, 08:32 PM   #64
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    Re: His highschool girlfriend after 20 years.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Laylah View Post
    So Wishgirl, have you decided what you're going to do?
    I think I've come to the conclusion that I'm going to have my husband email the main guy in charge of the reunions and ask him to take my husband off the list. He can look online for the info if he ever wants to go.

    I may have him do what was suggested on these boards about the photos. So thanks for the input. It's been very supportive and helpful. I don't feel like I'm wrong now for feeling irritated.

     
    Old 12-01-2007, 11:12 PM   #65
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    Re: His highschool girlfriend after 20 years.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by wishgirl View Post
    I think I've come to the conclusion that I'm going to have my husband email the main guy in charge of the reunions and ask him to take my husband off the list. He can look online for the info if he ever wants to go.
    This is a very good idea.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by wishgirl View Post
    I may have him do what was suggested on these boards about the photos. So thanks for the input. It's been very supportive and helpful. I don't feel like I'm wrong now for feeling irritated.
    I'm glad to hear it. Please feel free to report back and let us know how it all panned out; I'd be interested to hear how this unfolds, and please keep in mind that we don't all think you're jealous and paranoid!

    Good luck!

    Laylah

     
    Old 12-02-2007, 05:56 AM   #66
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    Re: His highschool girlfriend after 20 years.

    There are so many posts on here so I am sorry if this has already been said -

    if she has your address - why can't she just MAIL the pictures to him?

    Sounds like she wants to "get together" with him. I wouldn't trust her at all. Girls can be so sneaky. I knew people like this in high school and they always have ulterior motives. Like someone else said, stay away from ex girlfriends!

     
    Old 12-02-2007, 06:29 AM   #67
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    Re: His highschool girlfriend after 20 years.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Laylah View Post
    and please keep in mind that we don't all think you're jealous and paranoid!
    Absolutely not! What wife is going to sit back and watch as another woman pursues her husband? NOT ME!

    I was just thinking last night about my 10 year reunion...my cousin and I and her husband all graduated from the same school so we all went to the reunion together...I can't remember all that happened but they had a huge falling out over his EX gf that he dated through highschool. I do recall that she was all over him during the reunion!
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    Old 12-02-2007, 07:40 AM   #68
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    Re: His highschool girlfriend after 20 years.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by BeaTrade View Post
    Absolutely not! What wife is going to sit back and watch as another woman pursues her husband? NOT ME!

    I was just thinking last night about my 10 year reunion...my cousin and I and her husband all graduated from the same school so we all went to the reunion together...I can't remember all that happened but they had a huge falling out over his EX gf that he dated through highschool. I do recall that she was all over him during the reunion!
    If that was my bloke I'd have been all over her at the reunion and I don't mean in the friendly or affectionate sense, ha ha, and I don't care if anybody thinks I'm a B either!

    I cant wait to hear if Wishgirl gets this sorted out and gets her husbands name taken off the list; that'd be one in the eye for Miss Please Take My Old Photos.

     
    Old 12-03-2007, 09:04 AM   #69
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    Re: His highschool girlfriend after 20 years.

    People can think I'm a B or whatever...I don't care but any EX gf picture that's ever in MY HOUSE is going through the shredder!!!!!

    Wow, I'm just in shock at how harsh some of you are. I mean your husbands life didn't count before he met you? I just can't imagine someone actually thinking that it's ok to ask someone to get rid of pictures from their past, or actually not even to ask, but just to it. My life mattered before I was with my husband, so did his, we both have pictures of our past lives, girlfriends, whatever, and if he ever asked me to shred them we would have a serious problem.

     
    Old 12-03-2007, 09:08 AM   #70
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    Re: His highschool girlfriend after 20 years.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by BeaTrade View Post
    People can think I'm a B or whatever...I don't care but any EX gf picture that's ever in MY HOUSE is going through the shredder!!!!!
    thinking like that will just cause your partner to hide stuff from you, and also reeks of insecurity.

     
    Old 12-03-2007, 09:22 AM   #71
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    Re: His highschool girlfriend after 20 years.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by jennie250 View Post
    People can think I'm a B or whatever...I don't care but any EX gf picture that's ever in MY HOUSE is going through the shredder!!!!!

    Wow, I'm just in shock at how harsh some of you are. I mean your husbands life didn't count before he met you? I just can't imagine someone actually thinking that it's ok to ask someone to get rid of pictures from their past, or actually not even to ask, but just to it. My life mattered before I was with my husband, so did his, we both have pictures of our past lives, girlfriends, whatever, and if he ever asked me to shred them we would have a serious problem.
    Wow, I agree Jennie and Rose!

    Let me ask you ladies this; Is it ok with you if your husbands not only got letters from ex-girlfriends but still remained FRIENDS?

    Wow, there are some very insecure people out there. I am engaged and am still friends with my ex-wife and two ex-girlfriends. My fiancee whom I've been with for over 3 years now has no problem with that. I nor they, have any intention on EVER hooking back up again, but they were a part of my life. Why should I cut off all friendship simply because I have a new S/O?

    Wishgirl, I wish you the best and hope you can get past this without too much more aggrivation. Maybe you are 100% correct about the intentions of your husbands ex, but you have definitely made up your mind on her intentions without any true proof. I also don't understand why YOU have to be the one to contact anyone about this. Why are you resisting having your husband simply contact her and tell her to stop contacting him forever. If this truly bothers you so much...and it apparantly does, he should have NO problem doing this for you yes? This entire thing could be ended with one phone call or email yes?

    Good luck,
    Skarn

     
    Old 12-03-2007, 09:46 AM   #72
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    Re: His highschool girlfriend after 20 years.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Skarn View Post
    Let me ask you ladies this; Is it ok with you if your husbands not only got letters from ex-girlfriends but still remained FRIENDS?
    Well Skarn, my husband is not only friends with one of his ex-girlfriends, but she is also my youngest daughter's Godmother! The thing is, she is not one of those exes with ill intentions like I believe this particular ex who is the subject of this thread to be.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Skarn View Post
    Wow, there are some very insecure people out there. I am engaged and am still friends with my ex-wife and two ex-girlfriends. My fiancee whom I've been with for over 3 years now has no problem with that. I nor they, have any intention on EVER hooking back up again, but they were a part of my life. Why should I cut off all friendship simply because I have a new S/O?
    I don't believe I am insecure one bit. My husband and I both have a few friends who are exes. The ones that were up to no good (and there were some) are no longer part of the equation. You shouldn't have to give up an ex that is truly a friend. The problem lies with the ex that is still trying to get in the middle of something they shouldn't be. If one of these exes of your's tried to get into the middle of your relationship what would you do? Choose the ex with the ill intentions or your fiance?

    I do believe wishgirl has the proof she needs. But I do agree that her husband should handle things before she gets involved.

     
    Old 12-03-2007, 09:51 AM   #73
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    Re: His highschool girlfriend after 20 years.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Skarn View Post
    Let me ask you ladies this; Is it ok with you if your husbands not only got letters from ex-girlfriends but still remained FRIENDS?
    It would have been alright with me at one point Skarn, and it actually was alright as far as I was concerned; that situation remained until the night they fell into bed together ****** out of their heads on alcohol, so no, thesedays I dont entertain ex's sniffing round - I've learned better and I've learned it the hard day.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Skarn View Post
    Wow, there are some very insecure people out there.
    This is the standard and usual mantra I hear from lots of people when I explain that I no longer tolerate ex girlfriends contacting my partner. If they'd gone through the same experience I did they'd reevaluate their ideas pretty fast, let me assure you.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Skarn View Post
    I am engaged and am still friends with my ex-wife and two ex-girlfriends. My fiancee whom I've been with for over 3 years now has no problem with that.
    Your fiancee sounds like a woman in the same mindset I was in before I was abruptly forced to change my ideas. That's fine for her and I'm glad that actually works for some people. It didn't work for me and that was no fault of mine. Believe me, I'd have gladly and happily stayed in that mindset; the last thing I wanted was to be so violently snapped out of it!

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Skarn View Post
    Maybe you are 100% correct about the intentions of your husbands ex, but you have definitely made up your mind on her intentions without any true proof.
    As far as I can see she definatly has nearly two decades of "true proof", though I know you do not agree with this. My question to you is; what would you regard as true proof? Does Wishgirl have to open her letter box one morning and have naked photos of this woman drop onto her welcome mat before you'd acknowledge that she may have inappropriate intentions? Do you not acknowledge that when a person does have inappropriate intentions they usually go some lengths towards concealing them?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Skarn View Post
    I also don't understand why YOU have to be the one to contact anyone about this. Why are you resisting having your husband simply contact her and tell her to stop contacting him forever. If this truly bothers you so much...and it apparantly does, he should have NO problem doing this for you yes? This entire thing could be ended with one phone call or email yes?
    Well this is one point we can agree on; I do agree that Wishgirls husband ought to be willing to do this for her, but perhaps she is not about to ask him to do so as he may also be a member of the 'insecurity' brigade.

    As far as old photos are concerned; I have a few photos of myself with my ex-fiancee. He was a part of my life for five and a half years, we had some good times and he was a good man and I wouldn't be prepared to dispose of them for my current partner or anyone else. My bf also has a couple of photos of his most recent ex (not the one he fell into bed with) and he is entitled to mementos of his past also and it wouldn't occur to me to ask him to get rid of them; but these two incidences involve photos that we both still had ourselves and are worlds away from a situation where either of our ex's had been trying to post photos of old times to us in the here and now. That would be entirely different and would be something I would NOT tolerate.

     
    Old 12-03-2007, 10:06 AM   #74
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    Re: His highschool girlfriend after 20 years.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by jennie250 View Post
    I just can't imagine someone actually thinking that it's ok to ask someone to get rid of pictures from their past, or actually not even to ask, but just to it. My life mattered before I was with my husband, so did his, we both have pictures of our past lives, girlfriends, whatever, and if he ever asked me to shred them we would have a serious problem.
    I also have photos of my ex Jennie, like I said in my last post. I think most people do.

    I also think you're getting a bit confused about the facts here: The OP never got rid of any photos. There never were any photos in her home because her husband refused them ten years ago.

     
    Old 12-03-2007, 10:29 AM   #75
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    Re: His highschool girlfriend after 20 years.

    Let me ask you ladies this; Is it ok with you if your husbands not only got letters from ex-girlfriends but still remained FRIENDS?


    Yes, it absolutely is. I'm freinds with a few ex boyfriends, mind you only the ones that were nice guys and that I felt a friendship with. My partner is still friendly with his ex wife. I also have men friends I hang out with, go see bands with here and there, no big deal. I know I would never cheat on my guy. He is too wonderful. I'm not stupid, I know some people cheat and will get up to no good, I have been cheated on before by others. But I don't think that's not a reason to be insecure or to take that out on my present relationship. I know it's hard to let go of past hurts and to trust, but it's worth it, and really, what other choices is there, always wondering and worrying about things that may or may never happen?

     
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