It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board

  • i am 38 weeks pregnant being cheated on!

  • Post New Thread   Closed Thread
    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Old 02-22-2008, 05:23 PM   #1
    kirsten07
    Veteran
    (female)
     
    kirsten07's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jul 2006
    Location: Rockford, IL
    Posts: 363
    kirsten07 HB User
    i am 38 weeks pregnant being cheated on!

    I am 38 weeks pregnant, so i am due anytime from now and i found out my boyfriend cheated on me last month with this girl, i found him kissing her on his camera and i was so hurt i guess i tried to move past it because of my pregnancy and i didnt want to feel so alone. I've been having alot of suspicions of him but couldnt put a finger on it, well today he left the house and i went to go on the computer to check my y ahoo and his m.yspace was logged on so being nosy i read through his emails and this jerk is talking to basically 3 different girls that i know of and alot of it made it sound like he's making plans behind my back or has definately been messing around. i feel almost numb i havent cried or called him to scream at him i dont even want to tell him i dont know what to do i am about to have a baby here! all these girls are like on the ugly side for real and i'm not just saying that i really dont understand and i dont even know what to do i just feel blank and numb. i dont know what i should do...well i guess i DO know i just am ****** off that he had to do this crap i can even imagine how many girls he has cheated on me with! any advice here!

     
    Sponsors Lightbulb
       
    Old 02-22-2008, 05:44 PM   #2
    niknak77
    Veteran
    (female)
     
    niknak77's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Oct 2007
    Location: midwest, US
    Posts: 492
    niknak77 HB User
    Re: i am 38 weeks pregnant being cheated on!

    I am soo sorry that you had to find this out the way did and with you being so close to having your baby. I am not going to tell you whether or not you should stay with this guy; although in my opinion he doesn't sound like he deserves a second chance. If you want to try to forgive and try to work it out, you should insist that you both go to counseling together as a couple and each individually. Or if you do leave keep in mind that you need to be able to stay polite and civil for the baby's sake. Either way I insist that you get yourself tested ASAP for you and your baby's sake. You should alert your ob. (I know it's hard to do) what your situation is-as far as him cheating. This way both you and the baby can be safe and taken care of. Again I am so sorry that you have to go through this especially at this time, I understand exactly how you feel. I have an ex who pulled this same bs-I was pregnant too. That's why he's an ex Things will eventually get better, and will soon have a beautiful baby to admire and distract you from all of this. I wish you the best of luck and happiness with your (soon to be) new baby.

     
    Old 02-23-2008, 03:55 AM   #3
    cyndi62765
    Junior Member
    (female)
     
    cyndi62765's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jan 2008
    Location: ashdown, arkansas
    Posts: 29
    cyndi62765 HB User
    Smile Re: i am 38 weeks pregnant being cheated on!

    niknak77 has great advice i must say...but first of all he has to be willing to go to counseling and for that to happen you must tell him you know...this is a trust issue for sure and i think he may be having anxiety about becoming a new father..and no i am not taking his side what he has done is wrong in every way shape, form, or fashion...but honey no matter how hard this is for you..tell him you know. after that? ask him if he is wanting to go forward in your relationship, if he says yes..then have the long talk and suggest counseling...you dont need this kind of stress right now...you should be thinking of your new bundle of joy right now ,not all this stuff...shame on him i hate that you are going through this ..

    God bless you and keep you and i hope everything goes as you want it.

    congrats..on your new baby
    the miracle of life will be your comfort
    smiles and prayers
    __________________
    ~cyndi~

     
    Old 02-23-2008, 06:06 AM   #4
    matter of time
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    matter of time's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jan 2007
    Location: NY
    Posts: 930
    matter of time HB User
    Re: i am 38 weeks pregnant being cheated on!

    I agree that you have to find out where you stand with him and what kind of relationship he wants with you. Long term though you will never be happy with him because you will never trust him. Do you have other family you can stay with when the baby is born? Even though you are not married you probably still can get child support from him until the baby is 18.

     
    Old 02-23-2008, 01:32 PM   #5
    Mileena42
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    Mileena42's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Sep 2005
    Location: Alabama
    Posts: 778
    Mileena42 HB User
    Re: i am 38 weeks pregnant being cheated on!

    I too, know how hard and heart breaking it can be to find out your mate is cheating when you are carrying his child.
    In my opinion unexcusable. The end of my marriage began when I was very pregnant and was told my husband was cheating. I was hurt, and felt very alone at a time when things should have been joyful and happy and a new beginning for us as a family.

    Long story short, I got rid of the cad, delivered a healthy baby boy who is now 21, and have never once regretted moving on with my life. My husband never wanted to have anything to do with my son so my family took up the slack and we ALL found joy in him!

    I wish you all the luck with whatever you decide to do. I just wanted you to know, that life can go on....without him. For you and your baby!

    Mileena

     
    Old 02-26-2008, 08:39 PM   #6
    desertdweller
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    desertdweller's Avatar
     
    Join Date: May 2003
    Posts: 1,041
    desertdweller HB User
    Re: i am 38 weeks pregnant being cheated on!

    I'm sorry you are going through this. What a bad time to find out, not that there is a good time.
    Your BF should be anxiously awaiting the birth of his child, instead he is actively pursuing booty. It sounds like he isn't even particular about the booty can get either. Cheating on a GF while vulnerably pregnant is a major character flaw that you will be better off without. The sad part is you should be excited and happy right now, but instead your BF has ruined it. I'm guessing that when you confront him he will either be extremely apologetic or defensive, but don't forget that he knew what he was doing the whole time. He knew that he could hurt you in the process and decided to do it anyway.
    Try to stay strong and use your family for moral support. Good Luck.

     
    Old 02-27-2008, 07:34 AM   #7
    rosequartz
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    rosequartz's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jul 2005
    Location: Chicago,IL
    Posts: 11,286
    rosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB User
    Re: i am 38 weeks pregnant being cheated on!

    get yourself a good lawyer, take the bum for everything he's got and kick him to the curb........

     
    Old 02-27-2008, 09:07 AM   #8
    JulJul22
    Veteran
    (female)
     
    JulJul22's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Sep 2007
    Location: Maryland
    Posts: 400
    JulJul22 HB User
    Re: i am 38 weeks pregnant being cheated on!

    Kirsten,

    I am so sorry that you are going through this. First things first, get your self checked asap! You have to confront him with the evidence that you have and see his reaction and work something out if you choose to do so. I myself would not be able to trust him. You can forgive but you never forget and that will stick with you everytime he walks out that door.

    I know that your minds in scrambles right now and you are still in shock, which is understandable but is not good for the baby. Try your best to stay calm (I know easier said than done in your situation) but you do not want to put your health or the baby’s in jeopardy. Please be safe and God bless you and your new bundle of joy.

    Big (((hugs)))
    __________________
    Time does not heal. It simply provides distraction.

     
    Old 02-29-2008, 10:53 AM   #9
    doublesma
    Senior Member
    (female)
     
    doublesma's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Feb 2008
    Location: Coquitlam, Canada
    Posts: 119
    doublesma HB User
    Re: i am 38 weeks pregnant being cheated on!

    I can completely sympathize with you. I am not pregnant, but am the mom of 5 year old twins, and just found enough out (and they way he went about things) to go with my gut and say my husband has been having an affair.

    I am waivering on would I ever take him back or not, he says he dosent know if its over between us, but after they lying, cheating, admitting he has slept with her, lied about moving in with her, I know in my head its over, my heart has to stop listening to my head.

    I would love to say to you get rid of him, move on, but thats calling the kettle black and easier said than done, and like anything else the saying goes "until you are in that position....."

    Right now focus on yourself and that baby.

    God Bless.

     
    Old 03-01-2008, 10:27 AM   #10
    beautyofspeed
    Member
    (female)
     
    beautyofspeed's Avatar
     
    Join Date: May 2007
    Location: Canada
    Posts: 54
    beautyofspeed HB User
    Re: i am 38 weeks pregnant being cheated on!

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by kirsten07 View Post
    i was so hurt i guess i tried to move past it because of my pregnancy and i didnt want to feel so alone. I've been having alot of suspicions of him but couldnt put a finger on it,
    Ok, so first your instincts told you something and you ignored them.

    Then your instincts kicked in again and told you something and now it's quite in your face and you can't ignore it.

    What are your instincts telling you now? I mean, really.

    You have three options.
    1) Forgive him and go to counseling and try to work things out.

    2) End the relationship between you two and move on, but know that he will always be a part of your child's life.

    3) Do nothing, hide your feelings, don't tell him what you know, be suspicious and unhappy and untrusting for life and live your life being miserable.

    You have to decide which option you will take. As you are 38 weeks pregnant, I would put this matter aside for right this minute and focus on YOU, YOUR BABY, the delivery and being supported after the delivery. You don't have time for this nonsense from him right now.

    Deal with him after you have had the baby and are feeling stronger and less emotionally precarious. If you are choosing option #1 or #2, obviously you are going to have to tell him you know what he has done. But you are going to have to tell him you know and say you're dealing with him later.

    Good luck, stay strong, and realize - you are worth more than what he thinks you are worth.

     
    Old 03-02-2008, 08:17 AM   #11
    mumovhann
    Senior Member
    (female)
     
    mumovhann's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jan 2007
    Location: Newcastle UK
    Posts: 121
    mumovhann HB User
    Re: i am 38 weeks pregnant being cheated on!

    Hi

    First let me tell you, I completely sympathise with you, this happened to me when I was pregnant with my first child (5yrs ago) I found out through scanning my telephone bill, I guess it was womens intuition but I thought I was going crazy with my hormones! Then I rang the number and to my horror found out the worst from the "Horses" (I use that term loosely, dont want to insult a horse) mouth. In an instant my whole world turned inside out (just as yours probably is now) we had been together for 10 years and he had never done this before.

    Now, (here's where I go against the grain of all the other posters) I took him back, after a lot of talking, tears and some shouting we worked things out. Now the turnaround came when our Daughter was born, he was like a different person, even now he says he can't believe he ever did it and now he does everything for us and our family (we now have another child and you can imagine I found the second pregnancy very difficult as I was terrified he was going to do it again, even though I know he wouldn't now, those hormones got to work!)

    All I can say is to go with your heart, do what you feel is best, we can't judge him because we don't know what sort of person he is, you know him best. Has he done this before? As a previous poster has said, it could be anxiety and I truly believe that was the case in our situation, or maybe it was maturity. We bond instantly with our unborn baby because it's growing inside of us I think sometimes it's harder for the guy because they don't have that connection (although this is in no way any excuse for what he has put you through).

    You both have to be aware that if you do decide to make a go of it, it takes a LOT of hard work. I was insecure for many years afterwards and had terrible trust issues but now I trust him even more than I did before.

    So, I wish you every luck in what you decide to do. Remember, the most important person in your relationship right now is you, you are creating a miracle and you need to look out for yourself. Do what you think is best but honestly the old saying is not true, a leopard CAN change it's spots but it takes a lot of hard work. I hope everything works out for you too.

     
    Closed Thread

    Related Topics
    Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
    Can my pregnant ex-girlfriend and I be friends? John5500 Relationship Health 32 02-13-2009 11:47 AM
    Husband cheated on me & I'm 7 months pregnant MissMae Relationship Health 11 06-08-2007 04:10 PM
    need help - I might be pregnant - please read - please don't judge me smitchhelp Pregnancy 35 07-12-2006 07:36 PM
    I think My girlfriend is pregnant at8000 Pregnancy-Teen 17 07-02-2005 10:08 PM
    cheated on my pregnant wife now im scared icheated Herpes 5 12-02-2004 01:42 PM




    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Search this Thread:

    Advanced Search

    Posting Rules
    You may not post new threads
    You may not post replies
    You may not post attachments
    You may not edit your posts

    BB code is On
    Smilies are On
    [IMG] code is Off
    HTML code is Off
    Trackbacks are Off
    Pingbacks are Off
    Refbacks are Off




    Sign Up Today!

    Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

    I want my free account

    All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:42 PM.





    © 2021 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
    Do not copy or redistribute in any form!