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  • Baja's Journey "THE ROAD OUT" Oxycodone, Hydrocodone, Alcohol Addiction



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    Old 03-23-2008, 05:43 AM   #121
    wisteria63
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    Re: Baja's Journey "THE ROAD OUT" Oxycodone, Hydrocodone, Alcohol Addiction

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by bajaboats View Post
    Good Morning all.

    Baja WAVIN in as usual. Officially one week clean starting day 8.

    I am going to start my diary here on this thread. I'll just post here and keep it on top.

    Bass, Acapt. You guys keep helping me with your posts too.

    Well I feel GREAT today.

    I only got about 4 hrs sleep last night. I seem to be in some type of swing cycle with sleep. I got 7+ the night before and the night before that I only got about 4hrs. Every other day I get good sleep. And again today I don't feel as tired as I did yesterday when I got twice the sleep.

    Like everything else I'm sure it will level off.

    No aches at all.
    Very tiny bit of anxiety but I handled it without Meds. Relaxation, Meditation.
    My eyes are getting better I can tell. I still get worse at night but I might just be tired.
    I feel very productive today.

    I am pumped and have no desire to slip.

    No sign of PAWS. I'm following instructions to keep them to a min.

    I am going to stay away from the caffeine today at least cut to half and see how I do. I think that was what brought on what I thought was anxiety yesterday.

    Everyone have a great day and check in with me.

    Wavin at REACH, Bass, Acapt, Tat, Jules. Bless you all.

    Peace
    Baja
    How is life now that you are deep into recovery?

     
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    Old 03-24-2008, 08:36 AM   #122
    logalind
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    Re: Baja's Journey "THE ROAD OUT" Oxycodone, Hydrocodone, Alcohol Addiction

    Baja:

    Hey Bud how's it going? hope you had a good Easter with the kiddies. Wow you are my hero big time I would like to quit but I am still dealing with the crazies as far as my addiction so I am gonna hold on till I feel more stable. Well the job lasted 2 days they let me go because they didn't like the ring on my cell phone. Yeah I can laugh about it now but at the time I was crushed. They just didn't like me and thats ok not everyone has to like me. I was worried that it was something I did as far as work, you know maybe I wasn't picking up fast enough the ulgy FEAR roared its head. But, I prayed and tt my sponsor went to some meetings and I am doing better. I reread some of your posts and it really helped me get through the depression. But, also maybe it wasn't time for me to go back I had some stuff I needed to learn about my disease and myself about keeping my sobriety in front of me.

    Maybe you can help me with something? I am stuck in program theres a part in the 3rd step that says some people can't be honest its not their fault they were born that way. I am so affraid I will use this as a crutch cuz sometimes I don't feel like I can be totally honest with myself cuz it scares me. Also my sister is a raving alcoholic and she and her husband don't work and they sponge off everybody. Baja I am so affraid that is what is gonna happen to me. I don't want to do that, I want to be sober and useful. I have to stop comparing myself to other people that is a real character defect I have, I feel like such a follower and I don't want to do that, but, stupid fear is standing in my way of leading. You are a true friend that I can dump all this stupid stuff on. I know you will give me some good feedback so I can pull my head out of my butt. I swear last week I thought I heard it pop but, I must have been confused knowing me it was probably just a fart. Hope I don't get in trouble for saying that I was trying to make it light.

    I appreciate your wisdom. I am so proud of you! You are doing great, Keep showing us slowbriety kids the way out.

    Thanks so much.

    Lori

     
    Old 03-24-2008, 09:26 AM   #123
    NotPerky
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    Re: Baja's Journey "THE ROAD OUT" Oxycodone, Hydrocodone, Alcohol Addiction

    Hi Lori, hope you don't mind my jumping in to give you a shout-out...I spent a lot of time in Downey when I lived in SoCal and I had a customer there. Love SoCal! Sorry to hear about your job situation....I know exactly what you mean. I'll look forward to Baja's response as well.

    I'm on Day 7 of the Slowest Taper Ever....

     
    Old 03-24-2008, 02:05 PM   #124
    bajaboats
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    Re: Baja's Journey "THE ROAD OUT" Oxycodone, Hydrocodone, Alcohol Addiction

    Hey Guy's I'm Doing great!!

    I don't have much time as I have an appointment in about 15 mins I have to leave for and won't be back until 9PM if I'm lucky.

    I will type more in the morning.

    wisteria63, I feel great. All my thoughts are clearer and I'm eating better, sleeping better and not anxiety or depression really at all. Nothing I can't handle on my own.

    Today is 48 for me and I haven't felt better in a long time
    Thanks for asking It's nice to know your watching over me!!

    Hey Lori,
    You are being honest with us here and thats a start if you feel like your having trouble in your life. I guess just try the best you can and remember there is a difference between telling the truth and telling people things that really don't need to know. You have to be careful about that one because it is kinda in the grey area if you know what I mean. It's just that some people don't need to know certain things and as long as your not directly asked a question and lie about then I feel you aren't lying. Maybe that is me falling short of number three so don't let me misslead you. You have to follow what you feel is right

    Sorry to hear about the job.
    I'm trying on the Cigs today. I had a zero day planned for today but I read the instructions on the script I got and it told me to wait two more days before I went CT?
    I guess it has to build up in my system before I quit CT. Well I have only had 5 Cigs so far today and usually I would have had about 15. I am only going to take one Cig with me to my appointment so I can't have more than one more.

    I'll cut a little more on Tuesday then I'll CT on Wednesday. I might be using that as an excuse but I really want to follow direction so I have a better chance to quit

    You know us addicts, any excuse to not quit

    Revised announcement: Wednesday is zero day for me in the Cigs. I mean it this time. Not more playing around.

    I'll try to check in later but I'll probally be back in the morning.

    Thanks to all.

    As Always,
    Peace,
    Baja
    _________________________
    I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders.
    __________________
    _________________________
    I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders.

    As Always,
    Peace.
    Baja

    Last edited by Administrator; 06-11-2010 at 05:00 PM.

     
    Old 03-26-2008, 05:25 PM   #125
    bajaboats
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    Re: Baja's Journey "THE ROAD OUT" Oxycodone, Hydrocodone, Alcohol Addiction

    Hey All!!

    I made it to 50 days!!

    I quit smoking Cigs. today and I really need (Want) a smoke bad.
    The W/d's are nothing but I can feel the anxiety. This one will be a cake walk compared to the Oxy.

    I start school next week and will get pretty busy then but I will keep in touch.

    I have to get the kids in bed but I wanted everyone to know I'm doing great and thinking about all of you.

    Thanks for all your support, Everyone.

    As Always,
    Peace,
    Baja
    _________________________
    I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders.
    __________________
    _________________________
    I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders.

    As Always,
    Peace.
    Baja

     
    Old 03-26-2008, 05:56 PM   #126
    acaptainn
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    Re: Baja's Journey "THE ROAD OUT" Oxycodone, Hydrocodone, Alcohol Addiction

    BAJAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, Im soooooooooooooo PROUD of you!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please keep posting youre good for me an my wife.

    Were havin such a hard time, we keep relapsing, grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.But we are trying

    Our Prayers are with u and yours !

    As well as Logalind,Baja, Reachout and evryone else, prayers for All

     
    Old 03-27-2008, 03:36 AM   #127
    bajaboats
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    Re: Baja's Journey "THE ROAD OUT" Oxycodone, Hydrocodone, Alcohol Addiction

    Thanks Capt.

    "Just keep on keeping on" Like Yoss says.

    I'm on to the battle of the Cigs now that the Oxy is behind me. It is not as dificult as I thought it would be. Just like the Oxy I got myself all worked up for really nothing. I am only on day 2 for the Cigs so I'm sure I still have a some work to do.

    I can tell you that I really feel great. When I was on day 2 off the Oxy I couldn't say that

    I feel the Cigs are just a habbit for me really. I don't have the physical withdrawals and only a little anxiety.

    I am just used to getting up in the morning and going outside and having a smoke shortly after I get up. Just habbit I guess because here I sit and I haven't gone out for my smoke. It feel like I am fotgetting something more that quitting something.

    You and the wife just remember you can always taper slow. It is better than not tapering at all Slipping is not full blown usage again either. So you keep stopping for **** breaks. As long as you know the way out you will get out Bud. I know you know the way out.

    I can't even begin to tell you how much better I feel having my life back on track. Almost 2 months for me can you believe that !!

    I start school (college) soon and things are getting better with the wife slowly. We had a real good heart to heart a few days ago and worked some things out. What I got out of it was that she wasn't going to leave and she would drop bashing me all the time about my past mistakes and that I HAVE TO STAY CLEAN. She didn't say that but I know I must be clean to perform to the best of my ability.

    Thanks for chiming in. It is nice to hear for you

    P.S. Don't let that PAWS thing bother you. I didn't get it this time or when I detoxed off booze 8 years ago. I did enjoy the pink cloud while it lasted. That was my favorite part. I can tell when I go back and read some of my old posts. It makes me laugh to see how excited I got.

    Tell your wife I said Hi too. I'll be praying for you two.

    Wavin out to everyone. Thanks for all the help!!

    Thanks to all.

    As Always,
    Peace,
    Baja
    _________________________
    I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders.
    __________________
    _________________________
    I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders.

    As Always,
    Peace.
    Baja

    Last edited by Administrator; 06-11-2010 at 04:54 PM.

     
    Old 03-27-2008, 06:59 AM   #128
    reachout
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    Re: Baja's Journey "THE ROAD OUT" Oxycodone, Hydrocodone, Alcohol Addiction

    Hi Baja

    BOO! Just stopping by to say top o' the morning to you.

    You are on such a strong road, baja. Stay strong. Your strength lends itself to all of us here.

    Hugs
    reach

     
    Old 03-27-2008, 08:36 AM   #129
    redrockrag
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    Re: Baja's Journey "THE ROAD OUT" Oxycodone, Hydrocodone, Alcohol Addiction

    I look forward to your posts everyday so don't leave us. You have such a great energy and are so positive. Maybe you should go into helping people with addiction issues. You would be great! You will be great at anything you do because of your ATTITUDE! Thanks for being you.
    RRR

     
    Old 03-31-2008, 06:15 AM   #130
    logalind
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    Re: Baja's Journey "THE ROAD OUT" Oxycodone, Hydrocodone, Alcohol Addiction

    Hey Baja I know today is your first day of school. Good luck I am jonezin (sp) cuz I need some inspiration today. This not workin is killing me. Ulgh I want a real job I know in God's time. I just feel like I am spinning my wheels doing this home health care and the people are so depressing. It breaks my heart to see them not be able to get out of bed and not want to. Oh well I'm gonna jump in the shower and hopefully hit a meeting I am really stressed out about money what else is new. just sittin hopin waitin for a job. Well good luck and I want to hear all about school.

    Love ya,
    Lori

     
    Old 04-02-2008, 06:17 AM   #131
    bajaboats
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    Re: Baja's Journey "THE ROAD OUT" Oxycodone, Hydrocodone, Alcohol Addiction

    Thanks everyone,

    Sorry to leave you all for so long. I've been really really busy. My day starts at 4:30Am and I don't have school every day but when I do I don't get home until 10:30PM. All I can do is eat and go to bed

    School is great. I really love it. I just started so I have not met many people but I love the interaction.

    I think today is day 57 clean for me and life is moving along nicely.

    I have an interview for a new job on Thursday so I will see how that goes.

    Not much news on my wife. Still a roller coaster ride. I think I might have to take a break from her for a while so she can see what life would be like without me?? I don't know what else to do but I know I don't need someone around me that is negative all the time. I have to stay strong and positive and if she doesn't want to go along for the joy ride then I will go on the joy ride myself and find someone that will join me. I have to be happy and none of us deserve to be anything but HAPPY.

    Thanks Reach, I'm here and clean just getting swamped with life. Nothing I can't handle. No need to hide from anything, I kinda like this. The pink cloud went away but I can handle the blue sky and the clouds that float by occationally. Even the dark ones if you know what I mean.

    Hey RR, I am going into Nursing. I want to be a RN. Maybe with an addiction facility? Not sure where I will land when I get done with school. I like the ER also and pediatratics but I hear they really don't put many men in the pediatratics for obvious reasons. I'm not a pervert, I just LOVE babies. They are soooo cool

    You hang in there Lori, Your doing just fine!!
    I'm still here with you too.
    I have made it to almost 2 months now and it really is amazing how much better I feel and clearer I think.
    One of my classes is Advanced Algerbra. I have not been in school for 26 years and I picked up the math in seconds. I can already tell I'll be the top performer in the class. Most of the people in the class don't even know the basics yet, I'm not putting anyone down but I know I have an advantage already. I like having an advantage because I have to get a 4.0 GPA if I want into the nursing program. The lowest GPA they took last fall was 3.7 so I have to stay focused.

    I have been thinking about all of you and praying for you too.

    I will do my best to check in more often so no one gets worried about me.

    Oh, I almost forgot. I have not had a Cig in 7 days!!!
    It really isn't bothering me I just feel like I'm forgetting something. No withdrawals that are really bad, Maybe a little grumpy from time to time but I don't really get too grumpy even when I am grumpy. I just keep to myself.

    God bless all of us on this journey.


    _________________________
    I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders.

    As Always,
    Peace.
    Baja
    __________________
    _________________________
    I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders.

    As Always,
    Peace.
    Baja

    Last edited by bajaboats; 04-02-2008 at 06:29 AM.

     
    Old 04-02-2008, 06:52 AM   #132
    FullCircle08
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    Re: Baja's Journey "THE ROAD OUT" Oxycodone, Hydrocodone, Alcohol Addiction

    BAJA --That is great news. I am so proud of you. You have done so well and have proved that we can make it OUT THERE on our own. Are you going to any meetings or reading? I found that when I made it out that far that I started to forget that I was an addict. it is something that we all WANT to forget, but cant. You are staying real busy, but there will be a time when you arent and that is when you need SKILLS and MIND SET to get through the cravings.
    You should be so proud of yourself. You could NEVER do what you r doing or continue to do it, if you went back to using. Remember that

    D
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    Old 04-02-2008, 06:55 AM   #133
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    Re: Baja's Journey "THE ROAD OUT" Oxycodone, Hydrocodone, Alcohol Addiction

    Baja!

    What a great post to read! Proud of you, Buddy.

    Keep moving forward in life, Baja. I am glad you are so excited about school... geeze, I am excited for you just reading about it. Continue to learn always.. in school, and in life.

    Peace, hugs and best wishes
    reach

     
    Old 04-02-2008, 07:18 AM   #134
    bajaboats
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    Re: Baja's Journey "THE ROAD OUT" Oxycodone, Hydrocodone, Alcohol Addiction

    Thanks Reach, Nice to hear from you again.

    I still have the monentum (sp) going.

    Hey D,

    I try to get to my meetings the best I can. I go when ever I have time but I'm not regular. The meetings helped me quite a bit when I detoxed off the booze 8 years but I really spend more time reading and message boarding this time with the pillz.
    I also go to my shrink weekly and my med doc every 2 weeks but he said one month this last time I went. My med Doc is my Doctor but also a good friend and we can talk about personal items so I get a bonus when I go to see both of them. My med Doc's father was also a doctor and he passed away from the booze so he knows first hand what addiction can do and I listen to him.

    I appreciate all of you checking giving be the strengh I need on this journey. It will be a lifelong journey and I know that now.


    _________________________
    I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders.

    As Always,
    Peace.
    Baja
    __________________
    _________________________
    I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders.

    As Always,
    Peace.
    Baja

     
    Old 04-02-2008, 07:52 AM   #135
    redrockrag
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    Re: Baja's Journey "THE ROAD OUT" Oxycodone, Hydrocodone, Alcohol Addiction

    You are an inspiration to getting up in the morning, putting on the best you have got to give and going there. You are amazing and it seems like the stars are lined up and headed in your direction. Hope your wife can get over her anger. Boy, it just takes some time. But again you have a great attitude and that is 90% of the battle. Go getem.
    RRR

     
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