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  • Losing my hair at 26. Who is gonna want me?...Im getting real depressed Help!

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    Old 09-05-2008, 07:27 PM   #16
    Mr.G
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    Re: Losing my hair at 26. Who is gonna want me?...Im getting real depressed Help!

    Are you trying to tell me it is time to go for a different kind of girl Alice?

     
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    Old 09-05-2008, 07:29 PM   #17
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    Re: Losing my hair at 26. Who is gonna want me?...Im getting real depressed Help!

    DO you ever wonder why some guys find big girls attractive or the girls that you think are less pretty to be really sexy?
    It has a lot to do with confidence and postive self esteem. If you are truely looking for a great relationship (not just superfical rubbish) then you will be attracted to a personality. That is the same as women. If the girls that you have dated are disloyal, lie etc then perhaps there are several reason...yes you may have chosena bad egg (there are males and female who are rotten no deniging) but maybe, now here is a thought. It is you. You do not sound like a confident person, and I beleive that you are looking for excuses. Being fair is irrelevent. My husband had white blond hair and a fair completion to match, now bald, doesnt tan and goes red in the sun. He had plenty of girl friends and they are still friends now. Why - becouse he is a good man who does not judge people.
    Real women will be attracted to your smile, your generosity of spirit, you character.
    YOu are talking yourself into your hair loss being an issue, a determent to a young man. Arrogance is worse. try talking yourself into making it work for you. Listern to the women who have responded - shave and be sexy.

     
    Old 09-05-2008, 07:30 PM   #18
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    Re: Losing my hair at 26. Who is gonna want me?...Im getting real depressed Help!

    yah you got me on the confidence part, it is more of like a part I can play for a little bit, but I get worried that they will leave me and find someone better. I think it is mainly because the first girl I was ever with was kinda of a pyscho and she messed my head up and I have been playing with the same emotional struggle ever since. I always feel that girls just want a little taste of me and then they want to be gone, like for an ego thing. I could be wrong, and maybe I just am not confident enough to keep one around for anything that lasts. Some of the girls I was with were diff shallow, but others wre nice and careing and down to earth. So It probably is me.

    Last edited by Mr.G; 09-05-2008 at 07:34 PM.

     
    Old 09-05-2008, 07:32 PM   #19
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    Re: Losing my hair at 26. Who is gonna want me?...Im getting real depressed Help!

    Yes yes yes yes McGunther. Find yourself confience with who you are and then the right gilr will find you.
    Models are very caught up in image - that's not a negative comment, they have to be, thats how they earn their living.
    But hair loss isnt a big deal, confience and love is a huge deal. If a girl doenst want you becouse of your hair, run run run run fast. SHe is not for you. Yes she is superfical. Find someone you can talk too, makes you laugh and is willing to warm her hands on your bald head (trust me)

     
    Old 09-05-2008, 07:34 PM   #20
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    Re: Losing my hair at 26. Who is gonna want me?...Im getting real depressed Help!

    Actually I was trying to make a point about maturity...

     
    Old 09-05-2008, 09:51 PM   #21
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    Re: Losing my hair at 26. Who is gonna want me?...Im getting real depressed Help!

    Yes you are right about the maturity thing, and the model thing too. All the ones I have dated were head cases. Like during a move one of them would constantly ask me if she thought the girl on screen was pretty. I had another one ban me from her computer because I looked at a picture of cameron diaz. Another one would throw the t.v. remote across the room if she thought I wasnt paying enough attention to her. Anyhow all those relationships were short lived. All of them cheated on me too, and constantly talked about other guys in front of me, it was annoying. Most of the girls I have been with have been very short encounters. The longest I had been with a girl is about 6 months. I didnt even like the chick that much, but it was one of those co-dependancy things. Anyhow yeah I want to find a chick that I think is attractive and has her head on right. One day I hope. I still feel to this day that I have never had a girlfriend. I have had some girls I liked, but my insecurtis probably drove them away to weere we never would get serious. I feel like a girlfriend is someone whom you can grow with and you both compliment and support eachother. Ive been with a lot but have never felt that 'connection' with any of them. Anyhow I hope I find a way to get over this hair, but thanks for the replies.

    Last edited by Mr.G; 09-05-2008 at 09:55 PM.

     
    Old 09-06-2008, 05:16 AM   #22
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    Re: Losing my hair at 26. Who is gonna want me?...Im getting real depressed Help!

    Of course there is nothing wrong with wanting a partner who takes care of themselves. Frequent exercise and good eating habits are two of the most important things in life.

    But there is a very marked difference between someone who is vain and obsessed with their appearance, and someone who takes care of themselves just because they want to stay healthy. Ideally, you'd like to find the latter.

    Just to join the chorus, shaving your head and being bald would not be so bad. And you could wear caps and bandanas - I'm a sucker for a guy in a bandana. Also, 5'7 is not debilitatingly short, either.

    Hopefully as you get older you can learn to accept yourself for who you are and be happy with it - that is by far the best part of getting older, as I'm learning myself.
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    Old 09-06-2008, 05:33 AM   #23
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    Re: Losing my hair at 26. Who is gonna want me?...Im getting real depressed Help!

    I didn't read all of the responses Mcgunther (there were a whole bunch on here this morning) so I hope I don't repeat or say anything that doesn't make sense.

    I am 30 and my youngest uncle is 46. Some of the earliest memories I have of him is when I was 6 or 7 (him being 22 or 23) when he still lived with my Grandparents and he was completely bald. There are family pictures from when I was a baby and before he was balding then. The funny thing while he was bald in his 20's my other uncle (48 now) still has a full head of hair. The even funnier thing, my younger uncle has always had the most beautiful and nicest girlfriends. His lack of hair never ruined his dating game. It's all about attitude. He is a warm and generous man and would do anything for anyone. The woman he married is just like him.

    So my suggestion, don't focus on your hair loss. That's only superficial. If anyone is going to dismiss you because you are bald/balding then they are not worth having anyway. Real people focus on inner beauty and strength. You treat a woman with love in respect and she will care less whether or not you have hair. Besides, there are so many sexy bald men in the world!

     
    Old 09-07-2008, 03:17 PM   #24
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    Re: Losing my hair at 26. Who is gonna want me?...Im getting real depressed Help!

    I think someone mentioned this on one of your other threads...but you might think about stopping referring to women as "chicks". That's a little demeaning..."women" or "ladies" is better.

    I'm dating someone who's balding. I don't care. He's hot and sexy to me and to many other women, he is constantly being hit on. He's confident, has a great personality, and makes good conversations. Who cares about his hair? No one!

     
    Old 09-07-2008, 03:39 PM   #25
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    Re: Losing my hair at 26. Who is gonna want me?...Im getting real depressed Help!

    I also didn't read all the post because of time, but I wanted to add....I have a friend on my job who NEVER dates anyone who isnt bald or losing his hair. It seems this a big turn on for her!! She can see a man and say "OH GOOD! He is bald!" She recently remarried her ex who is.....you guessed it! BALD!

    I am married, but if I wasn't...I would not have a problem dating a man who was bald or going bald. Trust me, this is more a problem to you than it is to a mature, caring woman! Maybe you should start looking at older women and forget the 20 year old who still go out with men for superficial reasons.

    Mileena

    Last edited by Mileena42; 09-07-2008 at 03:40 PM.

     
    Old 09-07-2008, 04:48 PM   #26
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    Re: Losing my hair at 26. Who is gonna want me?...Im getting real depressed Help!

    I think that while alot of girls dont mind, I think you guys have to understand that this issue is compounded by the fact of our ages. For me, I am 22 and in college, most girls my age will not give me a chance. While I dont know your ages, I can assume most of you who dont mind and your freinds who dont mind are older then 22. While I realize that as I get older more girls will be open minded to my hair, I really dont want to wait five plus years to start dating again.

    Last edited by Dang12; 09-07-2008 at 04:49 PM.

     
    Old 09-07-2008, 05:00 PM   #27
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    Re: Losing my hair at 26. Who is gonna want me?...Im getting real depressed Help!

    My friend who loves bald men is 23. She will NOT consider a man with hair. Period.

     
    Old 09-07-2008, 05:05 PM   #28
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    Re: Losing my hair at 26. Who is gonna want me?...Im getting real depressed Help!

    I think this is not true. As I have said in earlier posts, my husband started loosing his hair before he finished school and had a VERY receding hairline by the time he was 20. He was never at a loss for a girlfriend.
    Think about this; very tall men have gf's, very short men have gf's, big men have gf's, skinny men have gf's, men with acne have gf's, men with glasses have gf's, men without glasses have gf's, men with disability's gf's, men without disability's have gf's. The point being that it doesn't matter what you look like or what's going on with your body, it's about how you feel about yourself, it's about how you treat other people, ITS ABOUT YOU, NOT YOUR BODY.
    A real relationship based on love nad respect doesnt care about your hair loss so hang in there becouse you just havent found the right girl. Twenty something's do find bald heads and shaved heads sexy. Reread all the posts, they all say the same thing.

    Last edited by AliceT; 09-07-2008 at 05:08 PM.

     
    Old 09-07-2008, 08:25 PM   #29
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    Re: Losing my hair at 26. Who is gonna want me?...Im getting real depressed Help!

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Mcgunther View Post
    Some of the girls I was with were diff shallow, but others wre nice and careing and down to earth. So It probably is me.
    Nice, caring, down to earth. If this is what you yourself value in others, then why is it that you don't think it's good enough if that's what you are??? Look, you've talked a lot about models this and that and how would a woman feel if she had "nice big" boobs and they started shrinking. Personally, I'd be glad! I hate having big boobs and think it totally limits what you can wear and makes you look like a bimbo super fast. My sister, on the other hand, talks night and day about getting implants. So there's always something that every single person on earth is worried about in their appearance. There is no golden standard. There is just a personal standard. I'm not saying you should lower yours. But maybe you should think about actually IMPROVING your standards - as in stop with all the model stuff and start looking for someone who likes what you've got - hair loss and all. If you're going to be all wrapped up in size zero glamazons then what do you expect??? If you're actively trying to get with someone just because they are totally into looks then what you're going to get is someone who is ... wait for it ... totally into looks. I can 100% guarantee you that there are highly attractive woman out there who don't care one iota about your hair line. But if you go for a barbie then you're going to get someone looking for a ken! What I'm saying is that there is a massive difference between going for attractive and just being ridiculous about it. If "model" is your standard then don't expect any sympathy when people are as harsh with you as they are with girls in the modeling world (i.e. where beautiful girls are made to feel fat and ugly on a regular basis). Why not just go for attractive, normal girls who are looking for a nice, caring, down to earth guy? The type who will appreciate you as you are rather than being caught up in impossible standards - which are basically a photoshop illusion anyway? My ex started balding in university. And yes, he's white and not naturally tanned. He was still hot. I couldn't have cared less about it. I personally think the problem here is that you don't come across as very down to earth in these posts. Frankly, you seem utterly wrapped up in all things physical. I mean look, you've got what you've got. If that means losing your hair - well, y'a, I'm sure you would rather NOT be losing your hair ... but you are. So no point in sitting around lamenting all the models who you think you'll no longer be able to make out with. I mean if your biggest problem is that you're saying that in a totally superficial world of modeling you don't think you measure up to Brad Pitt ... well, ok, maybe you're right. But seriously, that's not the same as "I'm balding so I'll never find an attractive, down to earth girl who likes me as I am." This last statement is just not how it is - at least not for intelligent, sophisticated people. So maybe try RAISING your standards to attractive girls who aren't idiots! Because only an idiot gives a rat's behind about your hairline. So why not divert your energy into things you actually have control over and make the best of what you've got with someone who's not an idiot and values what you have. Yes, hairloss sucks. But it's not the be all and end all!!!!!!! Just ask the people who vote Jude Law onto the "sexiest man" list over and over. I'm sure he's not sitting at home counting his hairs and contemplating how many models don't want to make out with him. No one's got a perfect package ... it's all about how you present it and to who! So put together the best one you can and raise the standard a bit higher than "model" to perhaps incorporate some depth of character.

     
    Old 09-07-2008, 11:35 PM   #30
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    Re: Losing my hair at 26. Who is gonna want me?...Im getting real depressed Help!

    I just turned 21, and I have to argue against most early-twenty-something's being superficial and shallow.

    I'm a pretty attractive woman, and I've been dating someone for almost two years who has been pretty overweight for most of our relationship. I know this isn't the same as balding, but I'm mentioning it because it's another factor that most people would assume an attractive 20 year old would not want or tolerate in someone they were considering dating.

    I looked past the fact that my boyfriend was quite chubby, and noticed other things like his CONFIDENCE, sincerity, kindness, consideration, etc. Nobody is perfect, physically or otherwise. People tell me all the time that I could "do so much better than him," but I could really care less. He's everything I want and I never even think about his weight.

    So anyway, my point is that there are attractive girls out there who are not shallow. Honestly, a balding/bald guy would not bother me at all, and some guys look really sexy with a bald head. Seriously, it's what's on the inside that matters, as cliche as that is. You'll obviously come across shallow chicks who will see your hair-loss as a problem, but that's not all that's out there, so don't let your hopes down in finding someone. Good luck.

     
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