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  • How to deal with destructive children?

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    Old 09-10-2008, 11:32 AM   #1
    Braindeadmom
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    How to deal with destructive children?

    I am a single mother of three children I know some would say that my oldests distructive behavior is due to the fact my husband just left us. However, this has been going on since he was 2 years old I have had to put locks on my fridge freezer and most of my cabnits and somehow he still finds a way to get into our food and play with it in his room. I really would be less upset about it if he actually ate the food but no he likes to paint with it. I have tried making him clean the mess I have tried putting him in the corner I have tried groundation pretty much everything I can to make him stop. The last thing I have left is to put him on medication. Are there any other suggestions from anyone that might prevent me from having to medicate my child?

    Last edited by Braindeadmom; 09-10-2008 at 11:43 AM. Reason: More details

     
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    Old 09-10-2008, 11:53 AM   #2
    negot
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    Re: How to deal with distructive children

    Since you say that your husband just left you, I assume that you've had some problems in your marriage. Maybe your son picked up on the tension in the house already at 2 and have found an outlet for his feelings. Maybe this is his way to deal with what has been going on.
    I am just going by my own experience. I have 2 kids and all my kids know is a bad marriage. My husband and I have never had a good relationship. I am now trying to figure out a way to leave him and the kids react, each one in their own way. My usually cheerful 5 year old is very cranky and my other son reacts in some destructive ways.
    Maybe things will get better when your husband has been gone for a while and the kids get used to it. I've heard that the first 6 months after a separation are the hardest on the whole family, but then it gets better.
    If I were you, I would not medicate my child. Give him some time and try to have him around other nurturing people.

     
    Old 09-11-2008, 05:17 AM   #3
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    Re: How to deal with distructive children

    You say he paints with the food? Can you elaborate on this? Does he paint on paper, on the walls? What kind of painting? I think this tells something about this child. Could he be trying to express himself artistically without even knowing what art is all about? I would suggest you to look into that possibility. If you have the means, why not send him to an art school or something? Talk to his teacher or maybe to a therapist. Maybe with some guidance he (your son) will be able to turn the mess into a work of art.

     
    Old 09-11-2008, 04:15 PM   #4
    Braindeadmom
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    Angry Re: How to deal with distructive children

    He splatters mustard and poo all over the walls as well as the floors I just had to spend quite a bit of money to replace all the food he has distroyed. Then today he spit on a little girl at school. I mean these are just some of things that Im listing.

     
    Old 09-11-2008, 04:35 PM   #5
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    Re: How to deal with distructive children

    Have you talked to his pediatrician or a child psychologist? It could be acting out or it could be some sort of behavioral issue or even a mental health issue. My son also has destructive behaviors, he always has. It is taking a combination of tailored parenting techniques, therapy and medication to help control it. But that is just my experience and my son has ADHD, which just adds to it all. Whatever the cause, I would strongly recommend professional help. Keep preservering, there is hope and light at the end of the tunnel. Keep us posted and best wishes to you and your son.

     
    Old 09-11-2008, 05:54 PM   #6
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    Lightbulb Re: How to deal with distructive children

    Thank you for all your comments I really do appriciate them. I have gone through counsiling with him already they believe that he is ADHD with a possible slight autism. But never a confirmed diagnosis. I just talked to his school couselor today and made an appointment with them because for some reason his other school didnt put in his IEP how extensive his problems where. I have been doing all that I can to avoid medicating my son because I watched my brother go through the extensive prossess of finding the one that actually works it distroyed his life and I by no means want to watch my son go through that. I have made the steps to get him in and tested now its just waiting for the date. He has already been approved for SSI for the simple fact that I have to be home all the time with him because of the extent of his problems. Im not sure what I should do for punishments though Im running out of Ideas I have tried everything from rewarding good behavior to taking away all the things that he loves. I just dont know what to do while waiting for help. Any suggestions?

     
    Old 09-11-2008, 06:17 PM   #7
    mayhem71
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    Re: How to deal with distructive children

    I have 2 children with ADHD, they were diagnosed 7 years ago. My son is now 13 and my daughter is now 12. Getting ADHD diagnosed is not easy, and you can be treated harsely by the medical profession. The medical profession do not like to readily diagnose ADHD, yet once diagnosed the treatment is wonderful. My daughter also has O.D.D (Obsessive Defiance Disorder). It may sound hard, but the best way to deal with ADHD kids is with patience and trying to remain calm. There are support groups all over the world and I value my support group immensely. Talking to other parents of ADHD kids makes you realise you are not alone. Look on the internet for support groups in your area, they will be able to give you good advice and tips that work for them. Your son might be acting due to his father leaving but don't convince yourself that is the cause. There is a possibility he has an allergic reaction to something he eats or drinks. My son is affected by everything he eats, it aggravates his ADHD. I hope you are able to get the help and support you need

    Last edited by mayhem71; 09-11-2008 at 06:18 PM.

     
    Old 09-11-2008, 06:32 PM   #8
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    Re: How to deal with distructive children

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by mayhem71 View Post
    ... My son is affected by everything he eats, it aggravates his ADHD. I hope you are able to get the help and support you need
    This is true and could be a cause of your son's behaviour. I have read that autism and many nervous dysfunctions can be caused or aggravated by the wrong diet. Gluten (wheat) and dairy are the worst offenders.

     
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