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  • teenage son won't do his homework

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    Old 09-22-2008, 12:26 PM   #1
    schmidnot
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    teenage son won't do his homework

    teenage son won't do his homework

     
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    Old 09-22-2008, 01:25 PM   #2
    rudiraven
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    Re: teenage son won't do his homework

    Then he will fail

     
    Old 09-23-2008, 01:03 PM   #3
    andiesq70
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    Re: teenage son won't do his homework

    Have you tried taking things away? rewarding only good behavior or grades? talked to his teachers?
    Do you think he's avoiding homework because he is not understanding whatever subject it is?
    My son is very smart and a great kid but he is always on a roller coaster with his grades, the past 2 years were not so good. He'll do great for a while then not do work, get 0's and then back to being good again, back and forth. I called or emailed teachers and argued all the time with him. Although we are on a better path this year! *finger's crossed* He is a sophomore this year and I told him I am not going to follow him around this year because he needs to take responsibility for his grades. But I reassured him I am here to help him with homework, understanding something he may not understand (whether I can or if we have to find someone else) and if he is having issues with a teacher or student. It kills me at times not to check his grades all the time but I do not feel so upset or frustrated like I did in the last couple of years. It's hard and although I always hated hearing it's mostly boys who are like this, I do believe it to be true.
    As a parent we can reassure them of our love and faith in them, but at some point we need them to take the reigns (with us in the background keeping watch over them). Not arguing so much has seemed to help not only me but also him not get so defensive and shut down. Try all different methods and see what works best, everyone has different motivators. Don't make punishments you are not going to stick with, I was never good at them and always gave in. Anyhow, good luck to you and your son. Keep us posted.

    Last edited by andiesq70; 09-23-2008 at 01:04 PM.

     
    Old 09-23-2008, 02:01 PM   #4
    Blossom27
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    Re: teenage son won't do his homework

    I agree with most of what andiesq70 has said, all teenagers are difficult and the best way to work with them is to use a removal of privileges when they donít do their homework or are not in at the time set for them to be in.
    Set out ground rules and stick by them. You have to be consistent then they know where they are. Use a carrot and stick approach if they are well behaved and do what they are supposed to do then give him a reward like I night out to the pictures with his pals, if he is bad in any way remove something that he uses all the time and tell him he will get it back in 24 hours.

    Remember that their hormones are in overdrive and he has changed personality since the onset of puberty, in many respects they are in no mans land they are no longer children and not yet adults, they still need to know that you are there and still love him but he will not want to be cuddled by you. He has also changed in how he speaks to you and the language he uses this is normal. He will feel totally misunderstood by everyone except the group of friends that he moves around with. He could very easily get in with a bad lot that will lead him to do things that he knows are wrong, but to remain as part of the group does them anyway as they will push him to do it, if he does not do it gets expelled from the gang and will then feel that he has no support group.

    Try thinking back to when you were his age the fact that he knows it all and you know nothing. In his eyes you have never been where he is at the moment so you canít possibly understand what he is going through. Once he hits 20 you will see his own personality returning, in the mean time both him and you will be going through hell. Try to keep the communication lines open between you. Having a teenager is never easy but they all come through at the other end.
    Good luck and let us know how you are getting on.

     
    Old 09-24-2008, 12:13 PM   #5
    cleansweap
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    Re: teenage son won't do his homework

    My teen son went thru the same thing. When he did do his home work, he failed to turn it in. And of course he had many excuses why. Each kid is different. first I tried the grounding thing, but what worked best was the reward system! I would reward him with something he really wanted or loved, every time he turned in/completed an assignment. Those assignments that he swore that the teacher got, but lost, I talked to each of his teacher's about initialing each of his assignments. Another thing that helped my situation, is that my son loves, breaths, and eats football.lol.. In his school, you can't play if your grades fall below a (d) and once you get a (d) grade, your on probations. This gave him the extra push to get his work finished and turned in. Keep trying until you come up with something that works for your son. It's worth it! My son brought home his first grade card in years yesterday with out any D, and F's!! Yeah!!! Other than one C he had all A's and B's.. I'm so thankful that I didn't give up! So, there is hope, just keep looking for a possitive reward system that will motivate him. Let him know that he's smart, and he can do the work.

     
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