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    Old 02-14-2009, 09:44 AM   #31
    Sverige82
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    Re: Need help getting off Suboxone

    Day 8.

    4:th night I haven't been able to sleep, it's starting to wear me out, i only get 1-2 hours of sleep every night, work 12 hours and go back home, it's really killing me.

    On a side not, the WD's are almost gone, I'm starting to feel normal for each day, it's just the damn restless leg crap that is tearing me apart.

    I tried hot showers, I tried vitamins and what not, I tried it all, still nothing.

    Anyone know how long this crap is going take?

    AND HAPPY VALENTINES DAY ALL!!!!


    T-minus 10 hours 27 min until I get off work

     
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    Old 02-15-2009, 06:05 AM   #32
    subtrain
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    Re: Need help getting off Suboxone

    Sverige, you are doing it! Keep it up! It sounds like you are in the thick of it and just about to go over the top. You are there. Keep going. You have the right mindset and determination.
    I just went through it. Jumped off at 4mg of sub. I so understand. From your writings you sound right in line with most sub withdrawls. Although each is unique, the similarities are pretty common. The suffering is worst than expected. Even for those who have been through other withdrawls before.
    For me, listed in priority, sleep was the worst. I think I created my own burden here to some degree because, I felt if I could only sleep, I could cut the suffering time by a 1/3.
    Next, frigging legs! and body pains! Frigging legs, frigging legs, frigging legs! Only answer I know, hot, hot baths with towel wraps in the tub. Lots of hot baths all night. I actually slept, sitting up in the tub quite often. Stretch those leg muscles too and the rest of your body.
    3...emotional roller coaster! whew! up, down, up, down, mostly sad and self pity and then pissy that I got myself into this,....AGAIN. I mean really pissy and determined that nothing is going to stop me from getting through this hell.
    4...fatigue, and I mean real fatigue! This could easily take the number 1 spot. I think for me, about day 16 or 17, this unbelievable fatigue began to disipate. Overall, the longest and hardest to endure and try to explain.
    Finally, appitite, I lost almost 15 pounds. I've put about 10 back on in the past week. My wife at about day 5 made me eat. This helped me. Really helped me, not just immediately but, I think in the long run has really helped me in getting back to feeling me again. I focussed on foods with high protein, easy to eat. The only carbs I ate, oatmeal, grain cereals fruits and vegies. AND, water, water, water! I drank so much water to flush my system. This helped I believe to get the toxins out. Lots of water all day and night.
    From what I just went through, sounds to me, mentally you are committed and have the right outlook. Great! That is the best thing. Your mind and will should get you through. Did me. My blessings will be with you.
    Physically and emotionally, the suffering will fade and all will get better. I believe the 2 week mark, is a noticeable difference for most. Some sooner, some later. For me, I think a little soon was my case.
    I hope this information helps. I know with myself, reading what others have been through was a big help, BIG. I am still reading.
    Thanks to all who share their valueable experiences and insights.
    Turn your deamons into angels. Value is measured in sharing.
    Good luck! Blessings to all. We need them.

     
    Old 02-15-2009, 06:16 AM   #33
    ANGELINMICHIGAN
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    Re: Need help getting off Suboxone

    Subtrain.....What a great post!!!! It brought me to tears as I have just been through it all and it just reminded me of how greatful I am to be off of the suboxone and get my life back.

    Thank you for posting.

    Take care of yourself and those anxious figidty legs will finally get better, but....I agree the sleep deprivation is absolutely terrible but yes those restless legs or the worst!!!!!!

    Bye for now
    Lyn

     
    Old 02-15-2009, 10:25 PM   #34
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    Re: Need help getting off Suboxone

    Day 9 has been completed.

    But I have to be honest, today for some reason was very difficult. Must have been the lack of sleep the past 4 nights. And the long hours at work, and the restless legs.

    SO i did the unthinkable, i took a very small crumb of sub just to get the edge off and get at least ONE night of sleep before the week starts again.

    I do not feel good about what I did, not a bit. But I didn't see any other solution to it. I have a full bottle of sub's, I took one pill, broke it down to 4 pieces and took 1 small piece. And you guys have no idea how much that little piece changed everything. I got energetic, happy and felt extremely good, and my legs are just fine!!

    It's just so weird how such a small dose made a difference.

    I've been clean for 8 days non-stop. I hope that this little crumb wont make me relapse. Actually, I PRAY that I wont relapse.

    But I do know that I will get a night's sleep and that's all that I wanted.

    And to everyone that's reading this...forgive me.

     
    Old 02-16-2009, 06:34 AM   #35
    ANGELINMICHIGAN
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    Re: Need help getting off Suboxone

    Sverige82....I just read your post and there has got to be a better way of going about it than taking a piece of a suboxone. I am not judging you because it is the most difficult thing that you probably have gone through in your life (I know it was for me and others on these boards). You probably have read my story (several times) and I have just been through it and the sleep deprivation is the absolute worst. It has been 6 weeks for me and I take Ambien and I am just starting to get 5 hrs of sleep if I am lucky!!!! I was in terrible shape shaking and anxious and couldn't think straight, restless legs, the exact same as you. My husband to me to my family doc and he was worried as my blood pressure was up and my heart rate was also. He told me to take Valium or Ativan (Lorezepam) just to settle me down as he was worried but.....told me both were addictive if taken for too long but he thought I need a few. He wrote me out a script for the Lorezepam and I only took it when I was absolutely desperate, like you took the sub crumb. I was worried about taking the Lorezepam as I had read on these boards about people that were addicted to that. I probably took 10 of them in three weeks and the doc prescribed a lot more. He said I could take two a day as needed. I was fine, I didn't get addicted to it because I didn't take enough. It did settle me down a bit and helped me to sleep, but I only took when I was desperate. This is only my opinion and I don't want you (or anyone) to get mad at me for saying this but.......that little crumb you took yesterday is what I was on for two weeks to keep me feeling normal and that was my last taper, actually I took less for 2 weeks than you took yesterday. You took 1/4 of one and I was on probably 1/2 of 1/8th which was almost a dot. This sub is very strong and "controlling"!!!! Please don't get upset at me but I worry about you taking that 1/4 of a sub. I was on 2mg. I can't remember the strength of your last pill you are using to taper?

    I hope I am not out of line. That is what these boards are for and I hope you forgive me because I am not trying to be negative. I want to help you get through your withdrawl. I would suggest that you talk to your doctor and see if there is something better to take than a crumb of sub to get off of the suboxone. Make sure you talk to the doc because you want to make sure that it mixes with any other meds you might be on for pain. I know Denon just went through all of the same (only off of oxy) and that is what he did also, he took valium to help him sleep. I don't think he is taking that now either, he is "drug free". You can post to him and talk to him also.

    Take care of yourself and I am here for you and I know it is very easy to relapse but....I don't want you to do that after how far you have come.

    I am thinking about you

    Lyn

     
    Old 02-16-2009, 09:36 AM   #36
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    Re: Need help getting off Suboxone

    ANGELINMICHIGAN

    Thank you for caring, it really means allot.

    That little crumb I took wont happen again, I just needed to get some much deserved sleep for one night, and I did.

    I was clean for 8 days NON STOP after going cold turkey, it was just too much to handle, I got over all the WD's, except for jittery legs, that was one of the reasons I had to take a crumb.

    I promise you and everyone else that I will not be taking any more sub's - ever.

    I already feel bad that I took a crumb, but I just wanted to get one night's sleep.

    Again, I'm sorry.

     
    Old 02-16-2009, 09:56 AM   #37
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    Re: Need help getting off Suboxone

    Hey!!!!!

    Look at you!!!! It's very impressive that you have come this far! I am proud of you.

    For your legs... A hot shower did nothing for me.. They had to be in a bath or hot tub for there to be any effect.. It calmed them down for like 10 minutes after the bath so I tried to fall asleep really quickly once I got out of the tub.. Mostly it never worked but it was worth a try!

    You are going to have to get over the feelings of guilt and put that energy into getting healthy.. It's in the past.. It happened. We have all been weak. Now do the right things and you will be great in the days to come.

    I hope your work day flies by for you!!!!! And... I hope you get some sleep tonight friend!
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    Old 02-17-2009, 05:47 AM   #38
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    Re: Need help getting off Suboxone

    Sverige, hey, you do what you have to do. Sometimes only you know what it is you have to do. What you are attempting to do is tough, really tough.
    Opiate dependency and withdrawls hasn't change since it's beginning. Tapering down is just a milder form, easier for some, not for others, of one day making that mental decision to quit. Cold turkey. It's hard, really hard. Day 8, 9, 10, all around in there, not lessening the degree of all the other days, wow, you are in the thick of it.
    I can only caution you, at this point, based on my own experience, that to control your own access to your meds is probably a burden you should put in someone elses control. Someone you trust that understands what you are trying to do. Understands that YOU are not YOU through all of this. The YOU, you are trying to bring back, is not the you hear now capable of making all the right decisions. The you here now is medicated!
    It takes about, 8 to 9 days for all the suboxone to leave your system. That's if you jump off at 4mg. I believe it is something like this.....about every 37 hours you body, if you drink lots of water, and eat, your body reduces the amount of sub in your system by half. Sucks! This stuff takes a long time to go away. It's strong, very strong.
    All through this process of getting YOU back, getting off this poison, you who are medicated, has to make difficult decisions. Some will be right, some wrong. Some useless, some very meaningful. Some you should make yourself, other decisions you should try not to burden yourself with. Ask for help. Let someone you trust make those decisions. Your main task at this point is to deal with the suffering and stay mentally strong.
    By taking some sub at this point, only you will know, once YOU succeed, if it polonged the time to success or helped you get to success. Stay focussed and flush the meds.
    I wish you luck, my blessings will be with you.
    John Lennon with the Plastic Ono band wrote a song called Cold Turkey. He discribes opiate withdrawls in the song, written 35 yrs + ago, from his own experience. It doesn't change and it ain't no better now than it was then. Opiates are opiates. Natural or synthetic, blue or green. And opiate withdrawls are opiate withdrawls.
    I believe that when YOU make the decision to want YOUrself back, that YOU inside the medicated you, has a real fight ahead. YOUR opponents are the medications and this devil the meds have created. That poor little YOU that has been buried for so long is wanting to live again. But, that devil wants his meds and he is using everything he can to make you suffer to get you to give in to him. He is your enemy. He takes you and keeps you where you don't want to be, through foolish promises of how good you can feel or how much he is helping your pain. BS!
    My apologies for going into a rant.
    I am still so ******.
    Physically, I feel good, really good.
    Mentally, clear. Clearer.
    Emotionally, level.
    Spiritually, we are all together.
    Blessings to all.
    Sverige.....good luck and may all the strength you need be there for you when you need it. Do not give up. The reward is tremendous, I promise.

     
    Old 02-17-2009, 06:10 AM   #39
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    Re: Need help getting off Suboxone

    Subtrain.......what a post....I agree with you and I hope you don't think I was too harsh with Sverge.....I feel terrible that I said those things but I also feel strongly about what I said!!!!

    Secrets.....great post as usual!!!!!

    Sverge.....how are you feeling today?

    Take care everyone

    AngelinMichigan Lyn

     
    Old 02-17-2009, 06:46 AM   #40
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    Re: Need help getting off Suboxone

    Hey Sverige82, no sense in feeling bad about taking the sub to get some relief. it's done and you got some well deserved and needed sleep. Now you have to decide what you are going to do as far as getting off the sub completely. the problem with taking a little here and there, it's going to set you back a few days. i don't know how true this is but i heard that if you were addicted to a drug, you only have to take it a couple of times and your body goes back to being dependant. then you have to start all over with the withdrawals. tomorrow is 4 weeks i've been off the sub. it was a rough road, but well worth it. i am feeling more and more myself each day, getting more energy and thinking clear. don't feel guilty, just stay strong, one day at a time, you WILL be clean and happy one day soon!! amed

     
    Old 02-17-2009, 08:52 AM   #41
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    Re: Need help getting off Suboxone

    How are you doing today???

    Just wanting an update to see how you are doing!!!!!

    Thinking of you!
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    Old 02-17-2009, 08:55 AM   #42
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    Re: Need help getting off Suboxone

    Hi Angel, seriously, I don't think anything anyone could say can be too harsh. Drug addictions and dependencies, however constituted, hyjack peoples lives. They kidnap fathers, mothers, children, grandparents, uncles and aunts away from their family and friends. Steals their futures and the gift of God's grace. It is so sad. I have witnessed and experience first hand, personally, it's sadness.
    It is truely something that effects us as a whole being. That is why so many do not succeed in their recovery. They end up only dealing with part of the problem. Here me now, and I hope I am not being to harsh but,.....withdrawls and all of it's suffering, oh my God, is it suffering, is the easy part. It is only the beginning. The damage done has to be repaired in the whole person and then the reasons have to be reconciled within. It is a long journey.
    My view is to embrace all of it. For some reason this path has been chosen for you. Once your body and mind are clear of the medication, sluge in your brain, you are on your way to realize who you are, who you can be, we are ever changing, and what you can give. True happiness, that which we all hope for, can only be found in giving and value is only measureable by sharing. Thank you for giving and sharing.

     
    Old 02-17-2009, 09:12 AM   #43
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    Re: Need help getting off Suboxone

    Subtrain

    Thank you so much for your words and I agree with you wholeheartedly!!!!!

    Take care and talk to you soon

    Angel Lyn in Michigan

     
    Old 02-17-2009, 11:08 AM   #44
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    Re: Need help getting off Suboxone

    Hi All.

    I feel pretty normal right now, might be because I took a crumb 2 days ago, I really don't know. No severe WD's except for a few yawning here and there, and these past 2 days I slept like a bear.

    I do know that the coming days will be though again. And everything Subtrain said is correct.

    The path is chosen, now it's my responsibility to fulfill it, which I will.
    No more crumbs, even though I took just a tiny one for a good night sleep, which was wrong - I know.

    I have a feeling that starting tomorrow or the day after my legs will be all screwed up again, and that is the ONLY thing that is worrying me.

    T-Minus - 9 Hours 53 min

     
    Old 02-17-2009, 11:24 AM   #45
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    Re: Need help getting off Suboxone

    Hey!!!

    Good to hear from you!

    Anticipation of it all is very very scary and I think then in turn it gives a person anxiety!!!! Which mind you sucks too.

    Set backs are set backs and we just need to move past them when they happen. NONE of us are perfect and could never in a million years claim to be. You are a good person and have A LOT to be proud of. You have come so far and have been a GREAT example for MANY people reading these posts. You wouldn't believe the amount of people that are just lurking that you have probably impacted let alone the rest of us.....

    Thank you for sharing your experiences. Keep doing what you are doing and I know you have the strength to face this and win. I believe in you!

    I hope your day goes great!!!
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