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  • How do YOU tell if a girl is playing hard to get? What are YOUR methods?

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    Old 04-03-2009, 02:50 PM   #1
    Brkenhrt
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    How do YOU tell if a girl is playing hard to get? What are YOUR methods?

    Can you tell the difference between hard to get, a player or interested but just irresponsible or perhaps has a bad memory?

    Ive been talking to this girl for 8 days now, met last Thurs and the first night we talked for 2.5hrs straight. We have great chemistry and even she said so. She said she enjoyed talking to me and wanted me to txt or call her the next day. She said that she wanted for us to hang out sometime this week.

    I txt her last Fri but no reply all day, I figured she was just busy. So Sat afternoon I gave her a call, no pick up but she called me back within the hour. But I was out with family for lunch and asked to call her back, when I did call her back she didnt pick up but again I left a message and she called me back within the hour. But I was just driving home and said I would call her back within 10mins I did, again no answer but she called me back within half hour.

    So after all this, we finally did get to talk again, but only for 45mins this time as I had to be somewhere after. I said to txt me and she did, and we sent a couple txt messages. But after a few txts she just stopped txting me. I didnt hear from her for the rest of the night. She told me that she was going out that night, so I figured her friends just arrived...thats cool.

    So Sunday afternoon I gave her a ring to see what she was up to, again no answer but I left a message. No call back all of Sunday.

    Monday at work I was bored to decided to send her a txt to say good morning, she surprisingly replied back right away "hey im at work, txt you at break" - not surprised that she didnt txt me or even call me for the rest of that day.

    Tues, I didnt call or text her, we didnt talk at all.

    Wed, again no contact.

    Thurs - she txt me when she was at work and asked how I was and whats new. I replied back (not right away) and we txted for about half hour. She said she wanted to hang out with me and go for a drink.

    Right off the bat, I asked her if she was serious about wanting to get to know each other. If not, then tell me now, so I can move on as Im not into games. I was just upfront with her. She said that she still wants to get to know me and hang out, but shes just been busy with work but she did get my txts and voicemails.

    We talked briefly about making plans for Friday (today), before she had to go back to work. I told her to call me when she got home. I was not expecting a call from her, but surprisingly she did call. So we talked for 3hrs straight and tried to make plans for Friday (today). I wanted to make plans for lunch but shes not a morning person and said she wasnt willing to wake up early, so she suggested at 9pm tonight after she gets off work. I said thats fine with me.

    I suggested we go for coffee but she said she wants to go to a lounge/pub cause its a fri night, I said ok. I suggested a couple places, but she prefers a busier pub/loung. So I came up with a couple more places but she's never heard of them and wasnt familiar with the atmosphere there so she said that she would let me know in the morning after she looked up pictures of them, cause she wanted it to be upscale as she was going to dress up and didnt want to feel overdressed. She told me to call her at noon today as she had to work at 1PM and we could make plans then for tonight.

    I was skeptical by now, cause I dont see why we couldnt just make the plans last night. I was also skeptical that she would even pick up her phone (she never has once before, what makes me think she will now?). But I gave her the benefit of the doubt, and called her at noon today, gee what a surprise...she didnt pick up, I left a message. No txt or call back from her so far today...

    I just dont get it? If she wanted to do something tonight, why just toss me aside now? Why lie to me last night about still wanting to know me? Is she ignoring me? I know she wont call back, im not expecting a call from her today. She will probably call me in another 4 or 5 days, say the same ****..."been busy with work...lets hang out....blah blah blah"

    Is she playing me for a fool?

    Is she leading me on and being a tease?

    Last edited by Brkenhrt; 04-03-2009 at 09:20 PM.

     
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    Old 04-03-2009, 06:52 PM   #2
    Seraph
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    Re: How do YOU tell if a girl is playing hard to get? What are YOUR methods?

    Can you really be bothered trying to work this one out? If she isn't playing games, then she has absolutely no manners and is careless of your feelings to the point where you may as well not exist. I cannot stand being around such unreliable people, life is much too short waiting for that phone call or contact. Don't waste any more of your valuable time on this silly ****. Sera.

     
    Old 04-03-2009, 09:09 PM   #3
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    Re: How do YOU tell if a girl is playing hard to get? What are YOUR methods?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Seraph View Post
    Can you really be bothered trying to work this one out? If she isn't playing games, then she has absolutely no manners and is careless of your feelings to the point where you may as well not exist. I cannot stand being around such unreliable people, life is much too short waiting for that phone call or contact. Don't waste any more of your valuable time on this silly ****. Sera.
    I know what you mean girl, but I guess im just too nice of a guy and always like to give a girl her chances. I never want to jump to conclusions and just give up easily.

    If shes no longer interested in getting to know me, cool...I understand, things happen, nothing I can do about it. But why lie to me last night when we talked for 3hrs and say ya "im still interested...ive just been busy with work....didnt want to call too late" blah blah blah. I mean is she not leading me on here? And not only that but so obviously intentionally?

     
    Old 04-04-2009, 12:29 PM   #4
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    Re: How do YOU tell if a girl is playing hard to get? What are YOUR methods?

    I'm just curious, did you ask her if she had any particular fancy pubs or lounges in mind? If not, why not? Why did you have to be the one to pick where to go? If that's the way it happened.

    But no, I don't think this girl is playing hard to get. To put it simply, I think she's just not that into you. Why did she make you think she was interested? Probably for the same reason men make women think they're interested all the time. To see what they can get, and because they don't have the guts to be honest. Welcome to our side of the tunnel. No sense in getting angry or upset about it. This will happen more often than not in the dating world. Chalk it up to a learning experience and move on.

     
    Old 04-04-2009, 02:00 PM   #5
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    Re: How do YOU tell if a girl is playing hard to get? What are YOUR methods?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Larrylou'smom View Post
    I'm just curious, did you ask her if she had any particular fancy pubs or lounges in mind? If not, why not? Why did you have to be the one to pick where to go? If that's the way it happened.

    But no, I don't think this girl is playing hard to get. To put it simply, I think she's just not that into you. Why did she make you think she was interested? Probably for the same reason men make women think they're interested all the time. To see what they can get, and because they don't have the guts to be honest. Welcome to our side of the tunnel. No sense in getting angry or upset about it. This will happen more often than not in the dating world. Chalk it up to a learning experience and move on.
    I did ask her what place she would like to go to and she couldnt come up with any - she told me to recommend one.

    When I talked to her Thurs night, I flat out asked her seriously if she was serious in wanting to get to know each otehr and she immediately said yes....but shes just been busy with work, yada yada yada. Ya its probably a lie, who knows. If she did, I have lost all respect I had for her. Plus each time we talked, she was always the one suggesting that we hang out.

     
    Old 04-04-2009, 02:25 PM   #6
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    Re: How do YOU tell if a girl is playing hard to get? What are YOUR methods?

    Well, first of all..how old is this girl? That totally makes a difference. From what you wrote it sounds like she might be trying to play a little hard to get...no girl wants to seem too eager...so she's not going to answer every call or text. And by her calling an hour after she didnt answer your call...sounds like she wants the upper hand of this playing hard to get. It seems like a game, but thats how some girls play it. Like it or hate it...your still interested enough to ask this thread our opinions so roll with the punches and if you seem interesting enough without being overbearing I'm sure things will start to work out. Also, remember that often time people really are just busy...

     
    Old 04-04-2009, 03:13 PM   #7
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    Re: How do YOU tell if a girl is playing hard to get? What are YOUR methods?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by marie25 View Post
    Well, first of all..how old is this girl? That totally makes a difference. From what you wrote it sounds like she might be trying to play a little hard to get...no girl wants to seem too eager...so she's not going to answer every call or text. And by her calling an hour after she didnt answer your call...sounds like she wants the upper hand of this playing hard to get. It seems like a game, but thats how some girls play it. Like it or hate it...your still interested enough to ask this thread our opinions so roll with the punches and if you seem interesting enough without being overbearing I'm sure things will start to work out. Also, remember that often time people really are just busy...
    Shes 27, im 28.

    Yes I realize that often people are just flat out busy. But is 2mins out of your day to txt me too much to ask for? Whats her excuse for avoiding my call yesterday all day? Again too busy? She was the one who kept suggesting we hang out. I just dont get this girl and her true intentions.

    I already asked her thurs night when we last talked, if she was serious about wanting to get to know me. I shouldnt have to ask that again.

     
    Old 04-04-2009, 03:52 PM   #8
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    Re: How do YOU tell if a girl is playing hard to get? What are YOUR methods?

    I think by asking her if she was serious to get to know you...absolutely confirmed with her that she had the upper hand. Now you need to play role reversal...you play hard to get...when ur talking to her on the phone you should be like ohh..um I'm getting another call can I call you back later. Or maybe ask her which day she would be available to hang out and then tell her you already have plans that day, but the following day would work out. Play a little hard to get...If you seem too readily available it doesnt make it any fun for her...Not that games are any fun or neccessary..I hate them!...but maybe those are so helpful tips! Goodluck!

     
    Old 04-04-2009, 04:07 PM   #9
    Brkenhrt
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    Re: How do YOU tell if a girl is playing hard to get? What are YOUR methods?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by marie25 View Post
    I think by asking her if she was serious to get to know you...absolutely confirmed with her that she had the upper hand. Now you need to play role reversal...you play hard to get...when ur talking to her on the phone you should be like ohh..um I'm getting another call can I call you back later. Or maybe ask her which day she would be available to hang out and then tell her you already have plans that day, but the following day would work out. Play a little hard to get...If you seem too readily available it doesnt make it any fun for her...Not that games are any fun or neccessary..I hate them!...but maybe those are so helpful tips! Goodluck!
    Oh...hmm so are you saying by me asking her is she was serious about getting to know each other, was a bad or even horrible idea? Im just a straight up guy and wanted to get it off my chest and ask her. If shes into games or not into me, i wont waste my time. All my friends think im an idiot for still giving this girl the benefit of the doubt that she has just been busy. They all say that shes playing me and toying with me 100%.

    I just dont get why she wouldnt at least show some effort in getting to know me if it really was what she wanted.

     
    Old 04-04-2009, 04:23 PM   #10
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    Re: How do YOU tell if a girl is playing hard to get? What are YOUR methods?

    Well I would say...if your not into playing games....stop wasting your time.

     
    Old 04-04-2009, 08:32 PM   #11
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    Re: How do YOU tell if a girl is playing hard to get? What are YOUR methods?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by marie25 View Post
    Well I would say...if your not into playing games....stop wasting your time.
    But do you think its 100% that this girl is playing games with me? I know forsure that shes a tease.

     
    Old 04-04-2009, 09:51 PM   #12
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    Re: How do YOU tell if a girl is playing hard to get? What are YOUR methods?

    I'm not so sure that she is playing games with you brokenhearted. It sounds as though you were expecting complete commitment straight away. You have kept track of the text and other communications pretty minutely and I wonder if perhaps you are coming on a little too strong. Be cool and dont force the issue. In the days before texting there could be several days between calls in those first few weeks of establishing a relationship. It gave the dust time to settle and the excitement to grow...
    Also you seem to be expecting instant contact/commitment and then you are asking her to initiate the details of a night out, you are giving mixed messages. Maybe you should leave it a few days the ring (not text) and say something along the lines of 'I would love to take you out for dinner at such and such a pub/cafe/restaurant' on whatever night' and see what she says. If it's a thank you no, move on, if it's yes then calmly take her out to dinner with out too much razzle dazzle but show plenty of interest in her. If it's a maybe then take it as a maybe and see how things pan out but don't harass her about it, make one more call to see if she can come and then leave it.

    She may actually be busy at work AND she may be interested in you, just be a little more subtle...

    J

     
    Old 04-04-2009, 10:20 PM   #13
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    Re: How do YOU tell if a girl is playing hard to get? What are YOUR methods?

    Being a tease is a game..I think it could end in your favor though if you take my advice I gave you before...You may think it seems stupid to play little games back..but that might just be what she's looking for...a challenge...

     
    Old 04-04-2009, 10:44 PM   #14
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    Re: How do YOU tell if a girl is playing hard to get? What are YOUR methods?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by marie25 View Post
    Being a tease is a game..I think it could end in your favor though if you take my advice I gave you before...You may think it seems stupid to play little games back..but that might just be what she's looking for...a challenge...
    She just txt me, she doesnt even make any sense! Shes all over the place.

    "Hey sorry about last night, friends forced me to go clubbing. I knew youre not into clubs. Im with them now."

    Forced to go clubbing eh?

    Ya I know that she knows that im not into clubs, so that means she couldnt take 2 mins to call me to let me know that she didnt want to do anything? She had all ****** day to do it.

    "Im with them now" - *** is that suppose to mean? Dont tell me shes just trying to make me jealous. I dont need this ****** immature BS again if this is the case.

    I dont even know if i should reply back.

    Marie since you suggested I give her a taste of her own medicine - i should probably not text her back and wait for her to call (I know she will, cause she will be wondering why i didnt txt her back). And when she calls, not sure if i should even answer it. But the only thing is, she calls from a private number and just in case shes the kind of person who never leaves messages...i wouldnt know when she called.

    Last edited by Brkenhrt; 04-04-2009 at 10:45 PM.

     
    Old 04-04-2009, 10:51 PM   #15
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    Re: How do YOU tell if a girl is playing hard to get? What are YOUR methods?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by jsfai View Post
    I'm not so sure that she is playing games with you brokenhearted. It sounds as though you were expecting complete commitment straight away. You have kept track of the text and other communications pretty minutely and I wonder if perhaps you are coming on a little too strong. Be cool and dont force the issue. In the days before texting there could be several days between calls in those first few weeks of establishing a relationship. It gave the dust time to settle and the excitement to grow...
    Also you seem to be expecting instant contact/commitment and then you are asking her to initiate the details of a night out, you are giving mixed messages. Maybe you should leave it a few days the ring (not text) and say something along the lines of 'I would love to take you out for dinner at such and such a pub/cafe/restaurant' on whatever night' and see what she says. If it's a thank you no, move on, if it's yes then calmly take her out to dinner with out too much razzle dazzle but show plenty of interest in her. If it's a maybe then take it as a maybe and see how things pan out but don't harass her about it, make one more call to see if she can come and then leave it.

    She may actually be busy at work AND she may be interested in you, just be a little more subtle...

    J
    I wasnt expecting instant contact - I just wanted for her at the very least to show some effort and initiative in contacting me if she wasnt lying about really wanting to gettting to know me. I mean after the first couple times we talked on the phone, she went 5 days before returning my call or even txts. I know people get busy and may work a lot, but sorry...a call to someone takes 2 mins out of your day. Even a simple txt takes 20 seconds! Show some common courtesy! Its just careless and perhaps insulting to treat someone like last nights dinner.

    I dont sit by the phone or expect people to return my calls or txts right away. I go about my daily festitivites. But when she says that she will "call, text, get back to me" and she doesnt? How am I suppose to not think negatively of that? And the fact that she was so stuck on maybe plans for fri night, and even tells me to call her at noon on Fri just before she goes to work so we can finalize things....she doesnt even pick up and even more insulting ignores me for the rest of the day!

    When I talked to her thurs night, she flat out said that shes serious about wanting to getting to know me and even suggested hanging out. She was always THE one who suggested us hanging out. But when we tried to make plans for fri night, she was making it so difficult, like a complete chore!

    Im sorry but im just a straight up guy who speaks my mind and wears my heart on my sleeve. I like a girl, I show it and put effort into getting to know them. I make plans, I pick a day, time and place. But shes obviously not very accomodating.

    Last edited by Brkenhrt; 04-04-2009 at 10:55 PM.

     
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