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  • How do YOU tell if a girl is playing hard to get? What are YOUR methods?

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    Old 04-05-2009, 05:47 PM   #46
    Redneon82
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    Re: How do YOU tell if a girl is playing hard to get? What are YOUR methods?

    All this drama over a girl you've never even seen in person?

    Jeez...I'd have lost patience way before now.

    And asking someone if they're serious about getting to know you before you've even seen them in person? A little too much to ask.

    I think you've had enough of this situation. I don't think a sarcastic text, or a text acting like you weren't upset about Friday, or anything else is in order. You don't need all this headache. A nice, healthy girl won't give you all this grief. Hold out for a better match.

     
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    Old 04-05-2009, 06:05 PM   #47
    Brkenhrt
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    Re: How do YOU tell if a girl is playing hard to get? What are YOUR methods?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Jessicca View Post
    Either way, please keep us updated...you got me all curious now.

    Forsure.

     
    Old 04-05-2009, 06:09 PM   #48
    Brkenhrt
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    Re: How do YOU tell if a girl is playing hard to get? What are YOUR methods?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by jsfai View Post
    Brokenhearted I haven't read the all the posts so I apologies if I am covering old ground....

    With this post and the one previous, you are very defensive....I'm not sure you can really see what you are doing. You say that everyone is thinking you're an idiot for not ditching her. Well you actually have to be in a relationship before you can ditich someone and I think you are reaching in far too far. You dont have a relationship with this girl, you have a potential friendship and you are expecting too much.
    You mentioned in the previous post (to this) that she hasent 'explained herself' I mean come on she does not owe you anything...you've talked, that's all. You make yourself out to be some sort of gentleman by giving her a chance but really, my friend, you are coming across as despareate and possesive.
    I flicked though another thread you started regarding your depression and your desire to find the right person. Brokenhearted, I understand that sentiment, it's hard and depression can be cruel and I am not belittleing those emotions in any way. BUt you also note that you often come on too strong, that you find it hard to keep your emotions in check...I think Brokenhearted that you should leave this situation, not because of her behavior but because of yours....

    I'll give you a hint - real love does not involve any games, it happens naturally and you will not have any of these concerns...

    J
    Im not saying she has to explain herself. I just figured shes playing games because she only contacts me on occasion. I agree that I could be a bit too forward too soon, but it doesnt mean that she cant at the very least show some effort.

    Theres no denying that shes playing games with me.

     
    Old 04-05-2009, 08:51 PM   #49
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    Re: How do YOU tell if a girl is playing hard to get? What are YOUR methods?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Brokenheart88 View Post
    Im not saying she has to explain herself. I just figured shes playing games because she only contacts me on occasion. I agree that I could be a bit too forward too soon, but it doesnt mean that she cant at the very least show some effort.

    Theres no denying that shes playing games with me.
    BUt you have said that she needs to explain why she didnt call on that friday night, that means explain herself. And I think you are judging very negatively...she may not be playing games at all, she just might not want to see you and doesnt really know how to tell you or how to discontinue contact (people can be like that, most girls expereince this at some stage).

    WHy should she make an effort - she DOES NOT owe you anything. I think you have made a mountian out of a mole hill and havent stopped to think about your behaviour much at all - maybe superficially but not to any reall depth; you are still defensive and still blaming her for her lack of effort...I think you need to grow up about relationships...

     
    Old 04-05-2009, 11:17 PM   #50
    Brkenhrt
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    Re: How do YOU tell if a girl is playing hard to get? What are YOUR methods?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by jsfai View Post
    BUt you have said that she needs to explain why she didnt call on that friday night, that means explain herself. And I think you are judging very negatively...she may not be playing games at all, she just might not want to see you and doesnt really know how to tell you or how to discontinue contact (people can be like that, most girls expereince this at some stage).

    WHy should she make an effort - she DOES NOT owe you anything. I think you have made a mountian out of a mole hill and havent stopped to think about your behaviour much at all - maybe superficially but not to any reall depth; you are still defensive and still blaming her for her lack of effort...I think you need to grow up about relationships...
    You seem to be the only one who sees this whole situation like this. I said already she wanted to meet up, she even suggested it twice! Youre making it sound like im all at fault here. She insisted on making plans for fri, she told me to call her that day of at noon (in which I did), she didnt bother picking up or returning my call the entire day. She went out with friends to a club and didnt even take 2mins out of her day to bother to tell me that. I dont know about you, but thats just common courtesy. Its flat out rude and a slap in the face by just ignoring me. I would never do it to anyone. I just dont get how you dont see this? Everyone I know has told me to just forget about her and move on - in which I most likely will.

     
    Old 04-06-2009, 03:43 AM   #51
    brokenhearted83
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    Re: How do YOU tell if a girl is playing hard to get? What are YOUR methods?

    brokenheart88 - haven't you had enough? Forget this, let it go. If it is this hard to start with, imagine how hard it'll be in the future.

    She's either playing games or already has a boyfriend. Or whatever!

    I'd be bored and just let it go.

    There are funny people out there, sometimes there are no reasons as to why they behave the way they do. I am sure loads of people here on these boards will agree from experiences in the dating world.

    Time to let this one go!

     
    Old 04-06-2009, 04:16 AM   #52
    jsfai
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    Re: How do YOU tell if a girl is playing hard to get? What are YOUR methods?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Brokenheart88 View Post
    Youre making it sound like im all at fault here.....
    ... Everyone I know has told me to just forget about her and move on - in which I most likely will.
    No you are not reading my posts completely, I am not saying it's all your fault, I am simply pointing out that YOU are making it all HER fault. You are not taking any responsibility...

    And like everyone else I am telling you to forget it an move on....but you say most likely you will, in other words you're not sure. Like I said you are making a mountain out of a molehill (do you know what that means?) and hammering away at something that obviously is NOT there, you seem to be the only one who cant see or accept it.
    You have been knocked back, move on and try to learn a little bit more about how a relationship works...

     
    Old 04-06-2009, 05:17 AM   #53
    Tivo123
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    Re: How do YOU tell if a girl is playing hard to get? What are YOUR methods?

    I think the situation has upset you more than you realize, and your first instinct is to fire back at her and get back at her for what you have perceived as her playing games with you. Whether or not it's true that this is what she is doing, that's irrelevant. What you should do, in all honesty, is just not reply to her anymore.

    It sounds like you're not interested in her anymore, an the only reason why you still claim to sort of want to meet her is like a morbid curiousity instead of for any positive reasons like getting to know her better. That's why I'm saying you should just let this go and move on. Delete her from your life and find someone else.

    And one more thing I wanted to add is that when you find the right person, you'll know, because it will all be very effortless. There won't be any need for game playing by either person, it's just going to flow and you'll see the difference. That's how it is when you're with the right person. Just something to think about.

    I'm wondering what you're looking for right now. Do you want to jump right into another long term relationship right now? Or are you just looking for a random hookup? Or do you want to date around a bit? Do you even know what you're looking for right now? If you sit down and really think about it, you'll see why leaving this girl alone is probably your best bet. Because I don't think she fits the bill of what you're after right now.

     
    Old 04-06-2009, 01:12 PM   #54
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    Re: How do YOU tell if a girl is playing hard to get? What are YOUR methods?

    Tivo and I are coming from exactly the same place....

     
    Old 04-06-2009, 03:34 PM   #55
    Brkenhrt
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    Re: How do YOU tell if a girl is playing hard to get? What are YOUR methods?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Tivo123 View Post
    I think the situation has upset you more than you realize, and your first instinct is to fire back at her and get back at her for what you have perceived as her playing games with you. Whether or not it's true that this is what she is doing, that's irrelevant. What you should do, in all honesty, is just not reply to her anymore.
    deleted her from my phone yesterday. Im moving on.

    Quote:
    It sounds like you're not interested in her anymore, an the only reason why you still claim to sort of want to meet her is like a morbid curiousity instead of for any positive reasons like getting to know her better. That's why I'm saying you should just let this go and move on. Delete her from your life and find someone else.
    Thats 100% true - I have no interest in getting to know her anymore, it would only be to see if shes as hot as she says. But who cares now...

    [/QUOTE]
    And one more thing I wanted to add is that when you find the right person, you'll know, because it will all be very effortless. There won't be any need for game playing by either person, it's just going to flow and you'll see the difference. That's how it is when you're with the right person. Just something to think about.[/QUOTE]


    Very true


    [/QUOTE]
    I'm wondering what you're looking for right now. Do you want to jump right into another long term relationship right now? Or are you just looking for a random hookup? Or do you want to date around a bit? Do you even know what you're looking for right now? If you sit down and really think about it, you'll see why leaving this girl alone is probably your best bet. Because I don't think she fits the bill of what you're after right now.[/QUOTE]

    I want long term, i want to settle down with someone with no headgames or nonsense.

     
    Old 04-06-2009, 04:41 PM   #56
    jsfai
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    Re: How do YOU tell if a girl is playing hard to get? What are YOUR methods?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Brokenheart88 View Post


    Thats 100% true - I have no interest in getting to know her anymore, it would only be to see if shes as hot as she says. But who cares now...
    I'm not convinced....I think you do care. But I think it has more to do with the fact that you don't like being knocked back...you are a dog at a bone. The tone is still sarcastic against her..

     
    Old 04-06-2009, 05:22 PM   #57
    Brkenhrt
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    Re: How do YOU tell if a girl is playing hard to get? What are YOUR methods?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by jsfai View Post
    I'm not convinced....I think you do care. But I think it has more to do with the fact that you don't like being knocked back...you are a dog at a bone. The tone is still sarcastic against her..
    Actually after I talked to her for 3hrs Thurs night, it made me realize just how different our lifestyles are and our personalities clash. So I did infact lost just about all (not all, but close) interest in her.

     
    Old 04-06-2009, 06:15 PM   #58
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    Re: How do YOU tell if a girl is playing hard to get? What are YOUR methods?

    now you're getting to honesty...I'm sorry this one didn't work out for you. But my philosophy is that for every date that doesnt work, it gets you closer to working out what is it that you are looking for...
    I wish you luck. Stay in touch....

    Jsfai

     
    Old 04-06-2009, 06:38 PM   #59
    Brkenhrt
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    Re: How do YOU tell if a girl is playing hard to get? What are YOUR methods?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by jsfai View Post
    now you're getting to honesty...I'm sorry this one didn't work out for you. But my philosophy is that for every date that doesnt work, it gets you closer to working out what is it that you are looking for...
    I wish you luck. Stay in touch....

    Jsfai
    I agree, but either way im still very upset at her for acting this way and doing nothing but leading me on and being a tease. God I hate girls like her!

     
    Old 04-06-2009, 06:54 PM   #60
    chevyman
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    Re: How do YOU tell if a girl is playing hard to get? What are YOUR methods?

    I suppose it takes some more time to finally figure it out.

    question,
    you said you hate girls that tease.
    is this true that she was only playing you? or you ****** because she was just not that into you?
    and you could not win her over ?

    If I was you I'd drop this chick or at least leave her alone and if she is that interested in you she will do more than call,text, let her say things to you without you asking her to, let her come to you whatever it takes her to get back with you, only this time , let her know your feelings about her and how she makes you feel ect,,,ect,, and that you want to start an ongoing realtionship with her and just play it from day to to day and see how the realtionship goes.
    but don't set a set time with her...just a day to day.
    if that don't work out or what everyone has mention to you...drop her

    Last edited by Mod-S4; 04-06-2009 at 07:20 PM. Reason: Off topic comment removed.

     
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