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    Old 07-06-2009, 02:01 PM   #16
    Julie Lawrence
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    Re: Lortab withdrawals

    twomany,

    6 down from 20 seems like a heroic effort to me!

    Just got back from psy. doc. I am off all antidepressants and pain meds. Informed him of my withdrawal from lortab. I believe in offering your psy. doc. the truth in all situations, after all, he is only there to help. lying to him is a lot like lying to yourself. I am finally, stabalizing emotionally!

    Good luck with the drug test. Hubby is on probation, as well.
    It's kind of a good thing though, it helps you to say NO, or at least try harder than you would if no one is watching.

    I think I will take the meds. to my mom's house. Regardless of my current woes, they can come in handy in extreme situations.

    Speak to you anain soon.

    Julie

     
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    Old 07-07-2009, 06:52 AM   #17
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    Re: Lortab withdrawals

    Julie...you sound like you're doing great. Glad you are stabilizing emotionally...it was a HUGE relief when I finally did too. I hated crying and weeping uncontrollably. I still remember the last day I did lose emotional/psychological control...it's embedded in my mind for some reason.

    So you're not on ANY meds now? That is super. So proud of you.

    Every day I feel like life is getting better. It's still a little rough around the edges and some things I have ignored are coming to life and "freakin" me out. But I suppose that's to be expected. Keep up the super work!!

    We are doing this!!!


     
    Old 07-07-2009, 12:50 PM   #18
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    Re: Lortab withdrawals

    I have to say that Lyrica has been very good for me and my nerve pain. It is very effective for nerve pain and also pain from fibromyalgia. It is a Schedule V medication which is the lowest schedule and it could possibly be addictive but not very likely. It all depends on the individual. I personally don't like the feeling that it gives me because it slows me down, makes me tired, etc but it is quite effective for my nerve pain which was pretty severe before starting on it. I just wanted to give my side of being on it and that a recovering addict can take it without it setting off my addiction. It is way, way less addictive than any of the opiod/opiate medications.

    brian

     
    Old 07-08-2009, 10:45 AM   #19
    Julie Lawrence
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    Re: Lortab withdrawals

    Brianpain33,

    Thanks for the advice. My doc wanted to try me on Savella (new drug for fibromyalgia)

    I am currentlt not working, so the pain is a bit less, but when I start working again, who knows? After all the drug issues, I am a bit hesitant to put another pill in my mouth.

    Pain usually wins. I will ask about the differences between lyrica and Savella, if it comes to that again.

    Keep it up ...continued good fortune to you!!!!

    Julie

     
    Old 07-08-2009, 11:53 AM   #20
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    Re: Lortab withdrawals

    Brian, I have to agree with your take on Lyrica. I've been on it for about 3 months (for fibro), and it has helped me somewhat (but that's better than nothing, and better than relapsing on the opiates).

    I've heard it's addicting, also that some people can get a "euphoric" feeling. I haven't had any "high" feeling (and my prescribing doc knows about my addiction and he felt it would be safe - for me - but eveyone is different). Like you, Brian, I feel slowed down. I take my dose before bed, and it does help me to get to sleep (staying asleep is another matter).

    Julie, it might be something for you to look into, if you want to. I'm really impressed by your fighting attitude, even when you're feeling rotten. I get so proud of people when they go ct, been there once, don't wanna go back. You're a strong lady and I know you can beat this. Giving the pills to your mom is a great idea!

    You asked about suboxone. There's information on this board about it, I'm relatively new so I'm assuming the search function wil help you find it. I've been on sub for almost a year now, and if you have questions, I'll be glad to try to answer them, as to what MY experience has been, since people have widely different experiences with it. I know there are also many others here who are much more experienced than I am on the subject of sub, and I'm sure someone will chime in with their experience.

    Keep up, everyone here - my thoughts and wishes for our recoveries.

    rose
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    Last edited by Wild Irish Rose; 07-08-2009 at 11:55 AM. Reason: edited for clarity

     
    Old 07-09-2009, 09:24 AM   #21
    Julie Lawrence
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    Re: Lortab withdrawals

    Wild Irish Rose,gonnarecover,brianpain33

    Some days are better than others. Today is CRY FEST.

    Its not so bad...actually a bit cleansing. Everyone should try it sometime.

    Some may see as weakness, I personally feel that each tear is like a tiny labor pain, leading to a new re-birth.

    So In my uneducated opinion...CRY CRY CRY CRY, it out!!!!!!!

    Happy to cry,
    Julie

     
    Old 07-09-2009, 10:12 AM   #22
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    Re: Lortab withdrawals

    Hey Julie!

    You are right... cry it out. It's very cleansing and there is nothing wrong with doing it. This whole process of becoming sober is such a mentally difficult process as well as what it does to our bodies!

    You keep hanging in there!!! You can do this and you have some good support!!!! Keep us posted!
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    Old 07-09-2009, 10:51 AM   #23
    Wild Irish Rose
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    Re: Lortab withdrawals

    Julie, I totally agree with you. I've been up and down a bit lately (I'm also bipolar, so sometimes I can't tell if the crying is "recovery" cry or if it's the depression part of bipolar).

    I'm the only female in my house, so sometimes I have a hard time crying because my husband and sons get a bit uncomfortable with big shows of emotion. It's not that they're insensitive, it's just the way they are. I try to do a lot of my crying in private, while I'm alone in the house, but sometimes I wish I didn't have to hide my emotions so much. I'm working on it. I know I can change myself without forcing them to change, also.

    Julie, I like your image of each tear being a tiny labor pain. And I think you're right, crying is not a sign of weakness or a character defect, it's just a natural human emotion that needs release sometimes, just like laughing seems so "natural". You've got a great attitude, and like Secrets says - cry it out. No sense in holding it in, and I think tears that are kept inside get very...corrosive...after a time, and it's harmful to hold them in. That's how I feel, at least.


    rose
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    Old 07-09-2009, 12:23 PM   #24
    brianpain33
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    Re: Lortab withdrawals

    Crying early in recovery is perfectly normal and I remember busting out crying in seveveral NA meetings and not feeling any sense of embarrasment at all. I know that it is perfectly normal and part of the healing process. You have completely shut off your emotions by using and once the drugs are out of your system you brain starts to feel emotions and doesn't quite know how to handle them, so go ahead and cry.

    brian

    p.s. I am bipolar too so I know how you feel Irish Rose about that

     
    Old 07-09-2009, 03:01 PM   #25
    Julie Lawrence
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    Re: Lortab withdrawals

    Brianpain33, Wild Irish Rose,

    I try to always cry in private, as well. My husband is bipolar Type I, I really hate having to expose him to my withdrawal symptoms.

    Sometimes I can not hide the anxiety/panic attacks from him, but the crying I can control.

    I do feel, and understand that it is brain chemistry related. Its some powerful stuff!!!

    My husband is my rock, and my hero! I can't wait to give my full self back to him again.....soon I expect.

    Chins UP....see you guys later,
    Julie

     
    Old 07-10-2009, 05:44 PM   #26
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    Re: Lortab withdrawals

    Hey Julie,

    You are right... crying is not a bad thing in recovery.. In fact... today on the way to visit my mother I cried the entire way there. I knew there would be pills there, I was having a craving and throwing myself a pity party. Luckily I had a friend to turn to and her words pulled me right out of it. It felt good to get it out of my system yet she helped me understand that it was okay. We are all human and will have our ups and downs.. Bottom line, we are all here for one another and we can get thru this....

    I am here for you.. KEEP DOING YOUR THANK GIRL!! I am so proud of you.

    Keep us posted and you will be in my thoughts and prayers!

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    Old 07-11-2009, 07:50 AM   #27
    Julie Lawrence
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    Re: Lortab withdrawals

    Secrets1983,

    Yesterday is OVER..regardless of what happened on the way to, and at your mom's house.

    Were you crying out of fear that you would lose your resolve, and ask for one? Were you angry with yourself for feeling that way? Did you feel you were losing control of your recovery?

    Well, if your answer was yes to any of that. I am sure we ALL can idendify. YOU WERE, AND ARE NOT ALONE!!!

    If you broke down and took one..you do not have to TODAY. TRY, TRY, TRY,
    you will secceed, in TIME. Don't throw in the towel, just because you may have taken one on the jaw.

    It is a struggle,a test. You do not have to make an (A) to pass.

    Keep chuggiung along. Remember this is a monster. One punch in the eye will not bring the beast down. Keep chipping away at him, he will fall.

    Keep it up....FIGHT

    Julie

     
    Old 07-11-2009, 06:55 PM   #28
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    Re: Lortab withdrawals

    Julie,

    Thank you so much for what you said. I am proud to say that NO I did not break down and take one and I will not! I am firm in that decision! Thank you for your support.

    I cried on the way there because I felt so weak and I had not felt that way in a long time. I threw myself a little pity party because I knew I could easily have access and have a little fun but I knew in my heart of hearts that was not okay and I could not allow myself to do so. However, in crying in out and with some positive words from a great friend on my way there, I pulled out of the funk and realized that I am proud of who I have become and I can have FUN with out the pills. I was in control of me...

    I appreciate you completely understanding what I was feeling. Words can't describe what it feels like to have someone else know exactly what was going on in my head. I will keep chugging along...

    Speaking of chugging along... HOW ARE YOU MY FRIEND????? You have been in my thoughts often and I would LOVE to hear an update with how you are doing!!!! You must be one heck of a strong woman to be able to go thru this and fight this addiction and withdrawal and be able to be such a loving wife the whole while. Your husband is a lucky man my dear to have you! Everything I have read makes me believe you have a wonderful loving heart! Don't forget that...
    Update when you can please
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    Old 07-13-2009, 09:21 AM   #29
    Julie Lawrence
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    Re: Lortab withdrawals

    Secrets1983,

    All is pretty well here. I am going to my pain management specialist on the 16th. (Apprehensive) I will undoubtably be offered an R/X. Half of me wants to say NO, the other half wants to take the R/X and bring it to my mom's house.

    Sometimes this medication is necessary, and very difficult to obtain. I believe by leaving it at my mom's house (she knows I am withdrawing), which is 20 miles away, my pain would have to be pretty severe to go to get them.

    Having her give me a reasonable dose, is far better, in my eyes, than having them in my medicine cabinet. I hope I will have the resolve to not touch a single one before bring them to her. I will let you know, and be honest about what transpires.

    I am sure some tears will be involved, and my body will probably act up (manifest more pain)when in proximity to them.

    At least I not kidding myself. I know there will be some form of internal conflict when I receive them. Perhaps the injections (for fibro.) that I receive at the doc's. will make it harder for my body manifest pain? YOU JUST NEVER KNOW.

    Wish me luck!

    Julie

     
    Old 07-13-2009, 10:27 AM   #30
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    Re: Lortab withdrawals

    Julie, may I ask what kind of injections you had for your fibro? I have fibro also, along with failed cervical fusion surgery, and I'm just curious if these injections are something I can ask my rheumatologist for. I sure hope they work for you; I know how bad the fibro pain can be, and I know there are others on this board who have it. I'm just getting off a 4 week flare - right through our 2 week vacation . Whenever I tried to ignore the pain and do something "normal" on vacation, I just paid for it later in the day or the next day.

    I think your idea of giving your meds to your mom is a good one. You said she knows you're withdrawing? I'm assuming you feel she's strong enough to refuse you if she thinks you're not in enough pain to need a pill? I don't mean she should be the med police, or that you'll be so tempted that you'll "fake" pain to get them. I'm just asking because I think it's a good idea. When I got off the norco/vic, (I didn't have to suffer WDs, I'm on suboxone now), my hubby is still holding my clonopin, which my doc prescribed for anxiety attacks and help in sleeping (which is when I get a lot of my panic attacks). I've never been addicted to clonopin, pain meds were my only DOC, but I know clonopin is a benzo, and I don't want to substitute another addiction for the one I already have. He's pretty sensitive to my moods, and early on, he did refuse me a couple times, because he felt I didn't really need one. Of course, I felt I needed one, but looking back, I did okay without, and I rarely even ask him for any now (I sure didn't want to go thru benzo WD; I've heard it's very miserable and dangerous). I'm glad he was strong enough to refuse me sometimes, because he helped me learn about myself and what some of my triggers are.

    I think you'll be able to be strong and not touch the pills on the way to your mom's house .You seem very determined to do this, which is fantastic!

    Keep checking in, and my good thoughts go out to you.

    rose
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    ~If you're happy all the time, you lose sight of what really matters***my son Jim

     
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