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  • Why am I so angry and irritated all the time

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    Old 12-23-2009, 07:14 AM   #16
    missjp
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    Re: Why am I so angry and irritated all the time

    Hey everyone,
    just read all the posts on here, it's interesting to see the common thread of being everything to everyone. I don't have any kids but still have been feeling lately that I've put all my own stuff on the back burner to help others so I think it helps to explore your boundaries too. I can recommend some cognitive behavioural therapy to everyone, it takes time to learn and then to put into practice but helps you identify anger triggers and to then reframe your angry or anxious thoughts into a more realistic outlook. Don't get me wrong, I'm still a work-in-progress myself but thought I would share this with you all. And definitely would advise talking to the doctor and lots of hugs. touch is very soothing. All my best wishes to you all and a Merry Christmas. x

     
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    Old 02-08-2010, 02:57 PM   #17
    kat1976
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    Thumbs down Re: Why am I so angry and irritated all the time

    hello

    My god, when i read your story, it was like reading my own life. I am a woman in her thirties and have 2 children of 4 and 5. Everyday i am snapping at them to stop fighting, stop doing this and stop doing that. Most nights, if i have had a go at them, i cry myself to sleep, like you, promising myself that tomorrow i will have more patience. I do not have alot of that myself. I blame most of my life for that. My dad was a useless dad, who thought more of his mates, and his beer than he did us. My step brother was violent to me and my sisters. I was bullied at school, not hit, just name calling contanstly. When i was younger i use to make up my own fairytale life, that i was popular and well liked. The complete opposite of my real life. The father of my children whom i am still with was very abusive and violent to me just after the birth of our first child. He would pick on me for everying, scratch me, pinch me, bit me so hard that i bruised. He was clever, he never blacked my eyes, or broke my wrists. He damaged my back from kneeing me in the lower part. I gave up my job, my life and became a full time mum. Sometimes i look in the mirror and depised what i see. Why didnt i fight back all these times, why did i take this crap all my life. I look at my two little babies and feel sick that i have brought them in to this. Ive let them down. Im so scared to get help from the doctors as my partner has threatened that he would take the kids off me if i left. He has his own business and good money. I did report him years ago to the police when one night he pulled a knife out on me. THis did seem to help, but he has still grabbed me violently since. He has not done any damage for a few years, but he calls me names like c**t, s**g and thick. he calls me retard and scum. I came from council so he thinks that im scum. I dont have any money, no job and i have an IVA. When i met him, i had debts that i had control of, friends, a good job and confidence. Now im so angry with the world. Last year i got in trouble with the police for having a go at a woman in the street all because she bibbed her car at me. I was cautioned. I felt so bad, i didnt hit her or anything, i called her mad and to stop bibbing. Im losing control. Most days i want to be alone. I wish i could die sometimes. The only reason i dont take my own life, is my kids need me and i need to be here. But like you i feel sick, that i yell all the time. I dont use violence or anything like that, i just dont have patience. I seem to hate the world and feel so bitter. I feel pathetic when i see the n ews and i see soilders dying and the devastation in Hati. But i cant pull myself from this hole. I wish i could help you, you are not alone. Maybe we have delayed depression after having our children.

     
    Old 03-30-2010, 05:47 PM   #18
    Laneyboi
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    Re: Why am I so angry and irritated all the time

    It could be that you feel unfulfilled with life and that you dont feel challenged enough. Try setting yourself a difficult task and praise yourself when you acheive it.

     
    Old 05-04-2010, 06:35 AM   #19
    Jesterqueen33
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    Re: Why am I so angry and irritated all the time

    I can relate to you. I have had the same feelings since the birth of my youngest, who is now 18 months old. I am exhausted all the time, irritable, and angry. I am on an antidepressant (lexapro) that I have been taking for about 4-5 months. It seemes like it was working, but doesn't seem to be anymore. Course, I am also working full time evenings, (home with my 3 yr old and 18 month old til I goto work at 2pm everyday), work 45 minutes away as an LPN in a dementia care adult living facility, come home at midnight, get up by 6:30, to do it all over again. I am acutally getting to the point where I don't even want to be a nurse anymore, cause I am so busy taking care of everyone but me. I don't have a choice, I have to live this way, my husband works days, so we can cut the cost of day care, I lost my health insurance, cause I make to much money to get state help, and can't afford a policy. I have no motivation to do anything, I drag myself around the house, going through the motions of living, but not actually enjoying one minute of it. I hate feeling this way, but that is what it is. I can't afford to go back to the dr. without insurance, so here I sit. Wishing I could feel good just for a couple of days. I miss it so much.

     
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    Old 07-14-2010, 01:06 PM   #20
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    Re: Why am I so angry and irritated all the time

    I feel like I was reading about my own life when I read your post....I also have 2 children....5 and 2....and I had post partum depression with both of my kids. I didn't know what was happening to me and my husband told me it was depression. I was so scared to go on medication and the depression finally lifted after about a year. Then it happened again after my daughter and it was worse. I went on medication (Zoloft) and it saved my life! Something happens with the seretonin in our brains during pregnancy and then for some reason it can't get back to it's normal levels, thus, depression and anxiety set in. I'm on 50mg because the 25 mg that they put me on at first wasn't enough. I've been on it for 2 1/2 years now and I also went the therapy because there were so many things I was holding inside that were making me angry. Anger comes with the depression! I'm just finding that I'm yelling so much at my kids and like you, I try so hard to stop but I'm failing. I think you have a few options...let me know if you would like to talk further because I would rather do it privately! There is hope!

     
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    Old 07-15-2010, 08:25 AM   #21
    kat1976
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    Re: Why am I so angry and irritated all the time

    Thanks to eveyone that replied to my messages.

    Its so refreshing to know that you are not the only one who feels like this all the time. The thing is with me is i dont know how to feel happy.

    Growing up was tough, i had two older step brothers and a sisters that are twins. They are only 2 years older than me. One of them i dont speak to , i hate my stepbrothers and the sister i love, i dont really see often enough. Im not really close to my parents. Growing up i was constantly bullied at school, my oldest stepbrother was a bully, he would make me and my sisters constantly do housework when we got home from school (he was never working) and would turn on us if was not done properly. One time he dragged me up the stairs because i put too much polish on furniture ( I was 7) My dad never smacked me, but he was a drunk, all week he would work and come the weekend and he would be in bed all day and out till midnight at night. I see him urinating in the streets, missing the toliet and ******* all over the floor and calling me a CXXT just for making myself a coffee.

    I think school was worse though, it was from primary right through to the end. I was never confident. After i had my first baby, literally 6 weeks later i fell pregnant again. My partner who had a son of 3 was not really great then. He never put me first or our daughter. When i fell pregnant he would constantly threaten me that he was not gonna pay the rent. He had just started running his own business (which i helped him get by the way) and was earning great money. When I first met him a year and half before i was the one earning good money. Anyhow being on maternity leave, all my money went on the rent and bills which we split so i was skint. Ron (NOT HIS REAL NAME BUT WE WILL USE THIS NAME) was starting to get nasty. One time when i was about 8 weeks pregnant i was holding our baby and told him i could not take it anymore and that i had to leave him. He threw a jug of cold water in my face and put a carrier bag over my head. He then took our baby and told me that i was not taking her. For the next months he was a monster to me. I was 8 months gone and we was moving to a bigger house, he had arrranged two of his mates and his parents to help us move. He moved two boxes in the van and lost his temper, said he could not be doing this and had had enough. He left me and his people to do all the work. I worked my butt off all day lifting boxes and going up and down the stairs. His mate has never spoken to him since. The final straw was a few weeks later, i was going to call my mum for some reason, it was about nine in the evening and ron decided to go to bed because he was tired. I woke him to see if he knew where my phone was... for this he bit my arm (not bad but bruised it) and slapped me around the arm so hard. I ran outside in to the kitchen he them through water at me and i slipped and crashed on the floor. Being 8 months pregnant this was not good. But baby was okay thankfully... He then held a knife to my throat and called me every name under the sun... The next day i reported him to the police. I told them everything.. Ron picked me up later that afternoon, full of sorrow (as Usual) . I then told him what i had done. I had to as they were coming around to arrest him...Its funny but he was not angry. The next morning i went with him and they put him in a cell. When they interview him he admitted everything. He didnt cry, he didnt lie, just told them. They decided that because i had said i did not want it going to court that they would let him off with a caution. The man copper then turned off tape recorded and snarled at him "Men like you make me sick, you hit your pregant girlfriend with our 8 month old baby in the bedroom. If ever i see your're face again, i will personally see that your girlfriend and children are put in a safe place and you will never find them, i will also put you in a cell with the most violent men i can find and then let them know what you are in for. He then told him that he needed to get help.

    Thats what we did.. Turns out Ron had really bad sleep disorded and was losing about 3/4 of his sleep. He now sleeps with a mask on and gets a full night. Turns out that he was depressed too, his ex gave him so much crap about seeing the other child.. Think it was jealously due to me having children. He got help and 4 years on has never once touched me in a violent way and is a great dad to both our children.. When we talk about the darker days he cant believe it was him,,,,nor can i now.. I know you lot reading this must think im crazy to stay, but i gave him one last chance and he did change. He realised what a monster he was, he can not talk about what he did..nor can i really. Its not the Ron i fell for and that i love now. He now treats me like a queen. Depression can hit you in so many different ways, as you can imagine, i was severley depressed about being me. Growing up with a drunk dad, violent brother and a abusive partner i felt so low.. One day i went out and brought 4 packs of paracetalmol. I was going to drive off somewhere in car and just take them and die. I hated being me. Now i take day by day. Ron is in on medication and will be for the rest of his life.. Turns out he had been badly bullied at school and had partners that had cheated on him. He was so insecure. I felt so low, lower than i ever felt. Now i have lost my weight, am starting a home course in psychology (think id be good at this!!!) in september as my youngest starts school. I go swimming 3 times a week, just to have a bit of me time...I dont love my life,, i still have nightmares about what ron did to me, and my brother. But i know that it was not me and it was them with the issues... I look in the mirror and i think okay, im no model, but im a mother with two lovely girls and thats important to me, I will make sure that when they grow up they will have all the support i never got and make sure that they see the world.....

     
    Old 07-15-2010, 09:48 AM   #22
    clowerma
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    Re: Why am I so angry and irritated all the time

    slow down and do more with the kids and then your day will be better,have different times for differnt thing for you and the kids to do together and have time for them to do things on their own set your day yp like a place of work. hope this works out for you.

     
    Old 07-25-2010, 05:09 AM   #23
    namie
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    Re: Why am I so angry and irritated all the time

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by w2bh09 View Post
    I am a mother of 2 under 4 in her early 30s. I am a very angry person. I yell at my kids all the time. I have tried so hard to stop. The more I try and stop the more it all just erupts by the end of the day. I have always been an impatient person. But ever since my second came along I am extremely irritable all the time. Everything annoys me. Especially sounds. I find myself overwhelmed and stressed over every little thing. I can't find any motivation. I am tired all the time. I have almost daily headaches. I love my children...I love my husband. I should be a very happy person. Why am I so angry and sad? I don't think I am depressed. I don't want to hurt myself. I do have low moments. But isn't to an extreme. I want to be a better mother so badly. Every night I go to bed and say tomorrow I will not yell and be happy. Never happens. I feel so awful about myself. What is wrong with me? Where can I go for help?
    hi i sympathise with you, as i know exactly how you are feeling, i wake up feeling like that most days and my partner gets so annoyed with me saying i have nothing to worry about and im selfish to keep acting the way i do. if i had a choice in the way i feel and act i would put a stop to it. it does scare me but i do have very 'high' moments as well, do you? i have tried all sorts of medication and under going diagnosis, and its either made me worse or had no effect, but i have just been prescribed 'Buspirone Hydrochloride' from my GP and the effects have been very noticeable from the day after my first lot, in a positive way, i am not 100% but i feel alot calmer for longer periods of time and happier more days than before taking them. i am sleeping alot better too.
    i am not a GP, but i highly recommend you go see your doctor and talk to him/her about suitable medication for you.
    all the best and look after number one always!

     
    Old 01-09-2011, 05:12 PM   #24
    srsj8088
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    Unhappy Re: Why am I so angry and irritated all the time

    Omgosh, you described me!! That's exactly how i feel. I yell at the kids (i have 3- ages 4, 6, 9) and i get so stressed out for no reason. And i am not happy even though i should be. My husband helps out and he works. I just dont know whats going on. My mouth dropped when i read this first post, she was describing me!! I know i need some type of medication, but what?

     
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