It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Addiction & Recovery Message Board

  • Can I be in "recovery" while taking Suboxone?



  • Post New Thread   Closed Thread
    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Old 08-25-2010, 09:31 AM   #76
    kewood
    Senior Member
    (female)
     
    kewood's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jun 2009
    Location: Juneau, AK
    Posts: 112
    kewood HB User
    Re: Can I be in "recovery" while taking Suboxone?

    Hey Iain,
    Thanks a bunch for your reply and the great suggestion about meditating in the tub or elsewhere. I'm going to take you up on that one. sometimes I just let my head wander here and there and don't try to challenge my mind when negative or scary or sad thoughts enter.....I need to be more aware and I think also focusing on the solution rather than the problem will work wonders! Yes, I saw Shutter Island, creepy, and the Dark Knight too. Both very good films.
    Now, was your relationship with your gf a healthy and happy one? Why did she end it? Do you think it was for the best that it's over or it sounds like you would like to get back together with her. Is she a good support person for your sobriety? Does she use? So many questions, sorry. I'm just trying to find out if she was a good person in your life for supporting your recovery which is your #1 priority in life right now, right? Breakups are so terribly painful, I hate them. I've been in a long relationship now, 19 yrs and can't imagine it breaking up though sometimes I get caught in wishing for the early days of excitement and passion. Relationships change over time....are you still friends with this woman? Do you have a good set of friends, sober friends that can meet that social need in your life? That's a hard thing to find.
    I'm proud of you for taking on the challenge of going back to school at your relatively young age of 34...I'm 10yrs older than you! Nowadays though, lots of "older" folks like us are going back to school. Is it a big university or a smaller school? It might feel a little awkward at first but I bet after a time you will get used to it and in fact probably make a good friend or two! Who knows? You are taking a risk and that's a positive thing. Moving on with your life is good and doing something slightly scary and risky is a challenge and with that comes opportunity. This will be an opportunity to meet new people, learn new things and who knows what new and exciting adventures are ahead of you!? I'm actually a bit jealous of you, going back to school and starting new....I'm not sure if I'd have it in me to take such a huge leap forward so good for you. Thanks, friend for keeping in touch and keep the lookout for those angels!

    ~Karen

     
    Sponsors Lightbulb
       
    Old 08-26-2010, 05:06 AM   #77
    ilovebikes07
    Junior Member
    (female)
     
    ilovebikes07's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jun 2010
    Posts: 36
    ilovebikes07 HB User
    Re: Can I be in "recovery" while taking Suboxone?

    Hi Guys
    Man do you both re read what you have written sometimes. It is very good and you both have fantastic insight into your conditions. We really are all very special hey? My therapist said that it is rare to have such insight to what is happening in your mind so we my friends are both special and rare.
    Iain I love that saying "emotionally defrosting from an emotional Iceage." That is sooooo true and a great way to look at it.
    Kew I know exactly what you are saying when you say you feel somewhat depersonalised. I have the remnents of borderline personality disorder. I often feel quite detached like I am in a dream not really here. The things is I know I am here where in the past I used to have full blown personality disorder where i detached completely and did not know I was doing it or remember what happened. Some of the sensations have been returning since I have been coming off my anti depressant and also dealing with my past. I believe that I get these detached feelings when I am reaching overload point. Maybe a memory too difficult to deal with at this time. Its my brains way of stopping me from burning out again completely. When something is too hard to deal with it goes on a bit of a holiday. If I think too much about it I notice it more and it starts to freak me out. Thing is you wont lose touch of reality completely because you have too much insight as to what is going on. So dont be too concerned it to will pass like riding the wave of depression, eventually it will pass. It is only a thought but you were saying you recently went on a new medication that too might be giving you some of the detachment type feelings as it builds up in your system and you adjust to it. "Candy" is one of my favorite movies. Not just because it reminds me of what can happen if I relapse but because I love Heath Ledger. It has been a long time since I was that bad with the drugs. Thankfully I never went as far as prostituting myself or anything like that, but I did still do a lot of bad stuff and I regret terribly what I put my family, friends and husband and children through. When I was at my worst around 19 I was anorexic, taking and shooting whatever drugs I could get my hands on. When I went into detox I had seizures due to withdrawals, I was in and out of detox and rehab for nearly 10 years. I saw a guy die in front of me due to withdrawal seizures. I took several overdoes and nearly died, I constantly tried to harm myself once trying to jump out of a car going 100km/h, slashed my wrists spent a month in a mental hospitial after suffering a complete mental breakdown. There are so many stories I could tell. Now at 48 I feel for the first time in my life that I might actually make it.
    Iain
    Thankyou so much for you words of support. I promise if I ever get that bad again and I am comtemplating that crap I will talk. I will see if I can get hold of that movie shutter island dont think I have seen it. I feel sad for you that you are hurting. Life can really suck sometimes. It sounds to me that this girl maybe is not worthy of you? You know its those of us who have the big hearts and generally care about others that get hurt the most because we are too dam trusting.
    You are doing so well and have wisdom way beyond your years. There is someone special out there for you i'm sure of it. I watched my own son several years ago have his heart ripped out. It was such a hard thing to do. He now is doing better than ever and just announced his engagement to a wonderful girl he me who supported and assisted him through his diagnosis of Bi-Polar(manic depression)disorder. As for the emotions its not a bad thing to be able to feel them providing you control them and not the other way around. I have great difficulty lately feeling anything. I think I may need to go back on an anti depressant. Trying to find one that goes with the subutex is the hard part. Oh well my friends take care will be thinking of you both Stay Strong and be nice to yourselves.
    ILB

     
    Old 08-26-2010, 09:32 AM   #78
    IainDonald
    Member
    (male)
     
    IainDonald's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Aug 2010
    Location: Glasgow Sc
    Posts: 76
    IainDonald HB User
    Re: Can I be in "recovery" while taking Suboxone?

    Heh iLB thamks for the positive feedback you really are, a shiney shiney star.
    Don`t know if you`ve heard of this group "FLEETWOOD MAC" but if you can check out their song "DON`T STOP" and listen to the words carefully, i`ve heard this song so many times and loved the tune but never really listened to it. Lately though i`ve been a wee bit more receptive with everything and really listened to the lyrics of this song AMAZING what you miss when yer too busy being a spaceman/woman. Also "QUEEN" and "I WANT TO BREAK FREE."

     
    Old 08-26-2010, 09:44 AM   #79
    IainDonald
    Member
    (male)
     
    IainDonald's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Aug 2010
    Location: Glasgow Sc
    Posts: 76
    IainDonald HB User
    Re: Can I be in "recovery" while taking Suboxone?

    kewood;

    Heh Karen see when we were still going out it really felt like a healthy relationship she really helped me get in touch with my elusive emotions on more than one occasion, i`ve since learned that all the talk she said to me about having real deep feelings for me were completely false and infact i meant nothing to her atoll, whats ended up happening is all the positive stuff i got out of the relationship initialy was wiped away and things have become worse with regards to opening up in front of someone so it has kinda set me back alittle i think the fact that she had me believing that the split was only a short term break so she could understand where her so called feelings were coming from and that we would pick thing up after a week or two this turned into a month then another with no answer as to what if anything was going to happen, i since found out that she had not only been seeing a girl but also another bloke, it`s abit messed up. but am getting better.
    take care

    Last edited by mod-anon; 08-26-2010 at 12:09 PM. Reason: removed quote

     
    Old 08-27-2010, 01:43 AM   #80
    IainDonald
    Member
    (male)
     
    IainDonald's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Aug 2010
    Location: Glasgow Sc
    Posts: 76
    IainDonald HB User
    Re: Can I be in "recovery" while taking Suboxone?

    It`s only me again sorry i may have seemed abit short with my last message don`t have a computer at home so i take myself down to my local library but you can only stay on the computers for a maximum of 2 hours and as you`ve probably realised once i start writing i get all caught up in the moment and forget about the time so i just managed to send that one yesterday (thursday) without loosing it altogether it was like what you see in a disaster movie i`d pressed the send button and the seconds kept counting down 4,3,2,1, message sent it was that close, i was like right on the edge of my seat.
    Anyway back to what i was trying to finish yesterday it`s just a college like a step up from school and the step just before uni, had my enrollment day yesterday was dead nervous before i got there then i met a couple of people i knew Graeme and a lassie Teresa who i`ve not seen for a while it was really good bumping into Teresa, and Graeme. Oh and by the way the angels have been in my life for a while now i just chose not to see them.
    Heard of the band Status Quo listening to their song ROCKING ALL OVER THE WORLD right now, Giddy up Giddy up get away, we`re going crazy and we`re going today, here we go, ROCKING ALL OVER THE WORLD. Also a group called FLEETWOOD MAC and their song DON`T STOP listen to the words carefully i`ve heard this song soo many times but only really listened to it recently AMAZING.
    Anyway my global friend i`ve still got a hold of your hand and hope you have a safe weekend.
    Be Cool

     
    Old 08-28-2010, 03:07 AM   #81
    IainDonald
    Member
    (male)
     
    IainDonald's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Aug 2010
    Location: Glasgow Sc
    Posts: 76
    IainDonald HB User
    Re: Can I be in "recovery" while taking Suboxone?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by kewood View Post
    Hey Iain,
    Thanks a bunch for your reply and the great suggestion about meditating in the tub or elsewhere. I'm going to take you up on that one. sometimes I just let my head wander here and there and don't try to challenge my mind when negative or scary or sad thoughts enter.....I need to be more aware and I think also focusing on the solution rather than the problem will work wonders! Yes, I saw Shutter Island, creepy, and the Dark Knight too. Both very good films.
    Now, was your relationship with your gf a healthy and happy one? Why did she end it? Do you think it was for the best that it's over or it sounds like you would like to get back together with her. Is she a good support person for your sobriety? Does she use? So many questions, sorry. I'm just trying to find out if she was a good person in your life for supporting your recovery which is your #1 priority in life right now, right? Breakups are so terribly painful, I hate them. I've been in a long relationship now, 19 yrs and can't imagine it breaking up though sometimes I get caught in wishing for the early days of excitement and passion. Relationships change over time....are you still friends with this woman? Do you have a good set of friends, sober friends that can meet that social need in your life? That's a hard thing to find.
    I'm proud of you for taking on the challenge of going back to school at your relatively young age of 34...I'm 10yrs older than you! Nowadays though, lots of "older" folks like us are going back to school. Is it a big university or a smaller school? It might feel a little awkward at first but I bet after a time you will get used to it and in fact probably make a good friend or two! Who knows? You are taking a risk and that's a positive thing. Moving on with your life is good and doing something slightly scary and risky is a challenge and with that comes opportunity. This will be an opportunity to meet new people, learn new things and who knows what new and exciting adventures are ahead of you!? I'm actually a bit jealous of you, going back to school and starting new....I'm not sure if I'd have it in me to take such a huge leap forward so good for you. Thanks, friend for keeping in touch and keep the lookout for those angels!

    ~Karen
    Thought i`d let you`s know got on great at college enrollment day on thursday start course proper on tuesday 31st Aug.
    bumped into someone i met a couple of months ago but never really got to know and felt a connection, but i need to be careful, i`ve a terrible habbit of falling head over heels for somone if i like them but we`ll see.
    It`s a pity we`re on other side`s of the planet would love to go for a coffee and talk about all the stuff that makes up life as we know it, but then again this is probably YOUR saving grace cause if we could do that you would then be in the front line to listen to my CRAZYTALK
    Maybe one day when they invent a teleporter like the starship enterprise.
    Beem me up Scotty, did i mention CRAZYTALK I wish i could be on the other side of the globe away from my head
    no i don`t really mean that well maybe sometimes.
    Anyway enough rabbiting on about nothing in particular, have a safe weekend untill we coverse again. this wee picture looks familiar it`s almost like looking in a mirror.
    Right am away this time.
    This is my second attempt at sending a message lost the first one don`t quit know how think the wee tech gremlins got a hold of it never mind.
    Au Revoir

     
    Old 08-30-2010, 12:14 PM   #82
    kewood
    Senior Member
    (female)
     
    kewood's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jun 2009
    Location: Juneau, AK
    Posts: 112
    kewood HB User
    Re: Can I be in "recovery" while taking Suboxone?

    Iain,
    Glad to hear your college enrollment day went well...yes, take it slow on the relationship front. Good to be friends for awhile first while you are healing from your latest heartbreak, you have good insight. I hear ya, can I send my brain o'er to Scotland for a respite, maybe a few months or so? I can't get out of my damn brain and the thoughts just keep going, going, going.....we just had a tragedy in my small town and a police officer I knew, only 32 years old, was shot to death in the back. So sad....what is life all about, why do these bad things happen to good people? Sometimes I wish it was me who was dead but then I think of all of the good things and wonderful people in my life, you two included!, and think about what a selfish person I am to have those thoughts. Look at this young man who just died in the line of duty and the people that are grieving for him and whose lives will now never be the same. Every day they will have that hole inside because of their loss of a loved one. I can never do that to anyone I love, I just want the pain to go away. Why is psychic pain so awful? I would rather suffer any kind of physical, excruciating, pain than to have this emotional, psychic hell to live in....and for what reason? It just comes up from out of nowhere and attacks, leaving emptiness and a kick in the gut. I best start meditating soon, these negative thoughts and feelings are going to take over if I don't start turning stuff around!
    You keep on the good work of going to school and working your recovery! I would love to have a cup of coffee and listen to you rant on and on but for now I'll have to settle for cyber cafe and typing...I'm still listening though. You're a good friend, Iain. Keep on keeping on and I'll be in touch.

    karen

     
    Old 08-31-2010, 03:21 AM   #83
    ilovebikes07
    Junior Member
    (female)
     
    ilovebikes07's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jun 2010
    Posts: 36
    ilovebikes07 HB User
    Re: Can I be in "recovery" while taking Suboxone?

    Hi Guys
    Well done Iain on the college. It will be good for you i'm sure. I am with Kew go easy on the relationship stuff. Been there done that if its the real thing it will wait. I am so with you. I would love nothing more than to sit with you guys and have a coffee and chat. Maybe one day. I am heading overseas in 2012 who knows? I feel amazingly close to you both I just know it was meant to be that we all found each other.
    Kew I wish I could help you with your thoughts mate. I have a son with Bi-Polar and he has described to me how his thoughts take him over. He did some intensive therapy mainly CBT and this helped him alot. He is only 28 and is now doing so amazingly well. He had major drug issues and nearly died. Now he is medication free and just got engaged. I am so proud of him. I can ask him for some advice for you if you would like? He has amazed his therapist so much that they are now using him to do a dvd for eductional purposes on drug addiction and mental illness.
    I struggle myself with thoughts and more recently flash backs from past trauma. This often trigger s off dis association episodes. It is difficult at times to not get all absorbed in the many thoughts and pictures that flood into my head. I try and distract myself do something else. Take my dogs for a walk to the beach, listen to some music (fleetwood mac good Iain) watch a movie or go for a ride. Riding is always a winner it clears the head and can really help. There is no quick easy fix my friend you just have to chip away at twhat it is that is causing all those thoughts to keep harrassing you. Writting them all down too can help. If they are getting the better of yu talk to your doctor about your meds they may need adjusting. Oh and most definetly we dont want you gone so dying is not an option I would be so sad and I know that Iain would too. It will get better and remember what I said about riding the wave? This too will pass give it time. I have been seeing a phyc and dealing with my past, it sure as hell stirs up some stuff but I know that if I push through this time then the demons will be put to rest once and for all. There is enough people out there that are willing to put us down so dont let yourself be another one. Those old tapes that play "I am no good, I am useless, I will never be free of this, I am just a druggie, no one could ever love me, etc., etc., etc., You are special, unique one of a kind and on an incredible journey of self discovery that will ultimately lead to your freedom.
    Lets stay strong together holding hands accross the globe AWESOME! Iain have a wonderful week and i never get tired of reading you I think you are great and love reading your messages they make me smile and laugh something I have not done for a long time Thanks to you both for being there
    ILB

     
    Old 08-31-2010, 04:48 AM   #84
    IainDonald
    Member
    (male)
     
    IainDonald's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Aug 2010
    Location: Glasgow Sc
    Posts: 76
    IainDonald HB User
    Re: Can I be in "recovery" while taking Suboxone?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by kewood View Post
    Iain,
    Glad to hear your college enrollment day went well...yes, take it slow on the relationship front. Good to be friends for awhile first while you are healing from your latest heartbreak, you have good insight. I hear ya, can I send my brain o'er to Scotland for a respite, maybe a few months or so? I can't get out of my damn brain and the thoughts just keep going, going, going.....we just had a tragedy in my small town and a police officer I knew, only 32 years old, was shot to death in the back. So sad....what is life all about, why do these bad things happen to good people? Sometimes I wish it was me who was dead but then I think of all of the good things and wonderful people in my life, you two included!, and think about what a selfish person I am to have those thoughts. Look at this young man who just died in the line of duty and the people that are grieving for him and whose lives will now never be the same. Every day they will have that hole inside because of their loss of a loved one. I can never do that to anyone I love, I just want the pain to go away. Why is psychic pain so awful? I would rather suffer any kind of physical, excruciating, pain than to have this emotional, psychic hell to live in....and for what reason? It just comes up from out of nowhere and attacks, leaving emptiness and a kick in the gut. I best start meditating soon, these negative thoughts and feelings are going to take over if I don't start turning stuff around!
    You keep on the good work of going to school and working your recovery! I would love to have a cup of coffee and listen to you rant on and on but for now I'll have to settle for cyber cafe and typing...I'm still listening though. You're a good friend, Iain. Keep on keeping on and I'll be in touch.

    karen
    Don`t worry yourself about thinking your selfish for thinking those thoughts around dieing i used to think about it all the time it`s part and parcel of the CRAZY life`s we lead, here`s another CRAZY thought why on God`s green earth would ye want to send yer brain over tae me for some respite, now thats some CRAZY TALK as cold as it may seem you must try to keep yer concentration on yourself. The world is a confussing place, and the biggest question of all is WHAT IS IT REALLY ALL ABOUT? When i find myself asking myself this question i answer it by telling myself IT`S ALL ABOUT ME AND MY RECOVERY this may seem cold hearted and maybe it is but i can`t really afford or even manage to worry about anything else.
    You`ve probably got a big enough hole in your soul with your own concerns without anyone else`s.
    First day at college today (tuesday 31st) went great better than i had thought i and i had actually thought it would be quit good, so it was even better than that,only in 2 & half days a week but it really is going to be good meeting alot of really good people.
    So to finish you keep yer thoughts on yersel quine (thats what we from the west coast of Scotland call girls) can`t remember if i told you am originally fae Aberdeen.And we call guy`s LOON`S or in my case LOONEY`S.
    Take Care Karen.

     
    Old 08-31-2010, 11:04 AM   #85
    kewood
    Senior Member
    (female)
     
    kewood's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jun 2009
    Location: Juneau, AK
    Posts: 112
    kewood HB User
    Re: Can I be in "recovery" while taking Suboxone?

    Hey ILB & Iain,
    How are ya both today? I'm still wallowing a bit in self-pity which isn't productive but sometimes I just have to sit here and feel sorry for myself as lame as that sounds! It really helps me to read what you both have to say. Your encouragement goes a long way to help me get out of these dang brain ruts! I like to walk my dogs, too, ILB when I get too much in my own head....it's a good break to just focus on them and look at what I'm passing by while trying to get out of the head space. I have a 3yr. old boxer and a 13yr old Jack Russell terrier mix. They are great boys and I love them dearly. What kind of dogs do you have? Iain, are you an animal lover? I just adore animals and this morning, my cat brought a little bird to me as a gift. I was pretty upset as the little guy was still (barely) alive and I tried to sit him up but within a few minutes he was gone. Can't get mad at the cat as he is only doing what he's supposed to do. Well, little things like that are making me so sad these days. That's another way I can tell I'm just not myself. I am working with my doc to switch around some meds and hopefully can begin to feel better from that and also from trying to think more positively. Do you guys sleep a lot? I just want to sleep ALL the TIME lately. I'm sure it's depression but it just feels so good to sleep. It's about the only thing that feels really good lately, I suppose because it's kind of an escape from life, the only time I don't have to think about stuff or worry about things. I long for the day when I wake up bright and energetic with lots of energy to go about my day. I know that day will come and like you said, ILB, I'm riding the wave and it's a pretty low one lately but I know it will rise up and even out, I just have to give it that time.
    I've not been on my bike for awhile because they're re-paving our street and it's all sand now and I'm on a hill. I don't think I could get my bike back up the sand hill if I was able to get it down. So, it's been over a month that I've not been able to ride. I can't wait until the project is complete and I can get on my bike and just cruise for a nice, long ride. When is your trip coming up? you must be looking forward to it, huh?
    Iain, I'm so happy to hear that you're having such a great time at college. What a fun adventure! It's wonderful that you are meeting new people and doing new things. Sometimes that's all it takes to get going again, some new energy, a new environment and new people, it's like a whole new outlook on life! Good for you!
    Well, my good friends, I am working (kind of!) and should get back to the daily grind. It's great connecting again and I'm happy to know you are both doing pretty well. Keep up the good work, the hard work and it will be worth it for all of us in the long run. Yes, we do have to think of ourselves first while in recovery and while we're trying to heal ourselves and our lives. I'm thinking of you both lots. take good care!

    Karen

     
    Old 09-01-2010, 03:23 AM   #86
    IainDonald
    Member
    (male)
     
    IainDonald's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Aug 2010
    Location: Glasgow Sc
    Posts: 76
    IainDonald HB User
    Re: Can I be in "recovery" while taking Suboxone?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by kewood View Post
    Hey ILB & Iain,
    How are ya both today? I'm still wallowing a bit in self-pity which isn't productive but sometimes I just have to sit here and feel sorry for myself as lame as that sounds! It really helps me to read what you both have to say. Your encouragement goes a long way to help me get out of these dang brain ruts! I like to walk my dogs, too, ILB when I get too much in my own head....it's a good break to just focus on them and look at what I'm passing by while trying to get out of the head space. I have a 3yr. old boxer and a 13yr old Jack Russell terrier mix. They are great boys and I love them dearly. What kind of dogs do you have? Iain, are you an animal lover? I just adore animals and this morning, my cat brought a little bird to me as a gift. I was pretty upset as the little guy was still (barely) alive and I tried to sit him up but within a few minutes he was gone. Can't get mad at the cat as he is only doing what he's supposed to do. Well, little things like that are making me so sad these days. That's another way I can tell I'm just not myself. I am working with my doc to switch around some meds and hopefully can begin to feel better from that and also from trying to think more positively. Do you guys sleep a lot? I just want to sleep ALL the TIME lately. I'm sure it's depression but it just feels so good to sleep. It's about the only thing that feels really good lately, I suppose because it's kind of an escape from life, the only time I don't have to think about stuff or worry about things. I long for the day when I wake up bright and energetic with lots of energy to go about my day. I know that day will come and like you said, ILB, I'm riding the wave and it's a pretty low one lately but I know it will rise up and even out, I just have to give it that time.
    I've not been on my bike for awhile because they're re-paving our street and it's all sand now and I'm on a hill. I don't think I could get my bike back up the sand hill if I was able to get it down. So, it's been over a month that I've not been able to ride. I can't wait until the project is complete and I can get on my bike and just cruise for a nice, long ride. When is your trip coming up? you must be looking forward to it, huh?
    Iain, I'm so happy to hear that you're having such a great time at college. What a fun adventure! It's wonderful that you are meeting new people and doing new things. Sometimes that's all it takes to get going again, some new energy, a new environment and new people, it's like a whole new outlook on life! Good for you!
    Well, my good friends, I am working (kind of!) and should get back to the daily grind. It's great connecting again and I'm happy to know you are both doing pretty well. Keep up the good work, the hard work and it will be worth it for all of us in the long run. Yes, we do have to think of ourselves first while in recovery and while we're trying to heal ourselves and our lives. I'm thinking of you both lots. take good care!

    Karen
    Heh Karen i was more or less brought up on a farm the only animal i would`nt have is a cat nothing against them am more a dog sort`ve person i`d love to get a dog a collie or black lab but i live in the centre of Glasgow so it would`nt be fair on the wee dog and i don`t really have much time just now but one day definatly when i`ve got my wee cottage in the country had a mixed wee thing when i was a kid sort`ve cross between quit alot of dogs just a mongrel just like me loved him to bits he died many years ago, must be 15 years if not more.
    Yer sleeping`s maybe to do with what you eat i know that affects me when i eat rubbish i feel rubbish, not that that stops me but i am trying to streamline my diet to help me regain my fitness am feeling just now trying to do my rockclimbing, and play fitba (soccer) twice a week and it can only be my diet cause am reasonably fit just my stamina seem`s to evade me, so you could maybe try that, i don`t know am no expert.
    Remaining positive helps as well even though youmay not feel like it some days.
    I`ve been attending a night class trying to teach myself to change my way of thinking, things like "have to`s" there`s only one thing that any of us has to do and that is die, instead of telling yourself "you have to go to the shops" say to yourself "i want to go to the shops" or " i have to do this" or "i have to do that" and re-think and say "i want to do this" or "i want to do that".
    None of us has to be positive to remain positive you`ve got to want to do it.
    And don`t worry "it`s always darkest before the dawn."
    Wait a wee minute, your at work, and yet your writing to us, how does that work? Ye better make sure you don`t get caught (naughty naughty)
    Anyway i`ve written enough crap for one day.
    Do everything possible to stop you chitty chitty bang bang(yer head) doing a number on you cause it`s our head thats out to get us all the time, remember it`s not you feet that`ll take you somewhere you don`t want to go, it`s yer heed (chitty chitty bang bang).
    Recovery, (however impossible it may seem at time`s) IS possible.
    There`s nothing WE can`t do if we WANT to.
    None of us have to recover but i WANT to.
    Anyway thats me going off on one again so am gonna leave it there cause my hands getting sore with all this typing.
    You stay cool
    You as well iLB, this is a message for the both of you, i almost started there again can`t help myself talking about nothing in particular. Right am off. BYE!

     
    Old 09-01-2010, 05:09 PM   #87
    joel1000
    Newbie
    (male)
     
    joel1000's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Sep 2010
    Location: NYC
    Posts: 2
    joel1000 HB User
    Re: Can I be in "recovery" while taking Suboxone?

    Kew, I have been on subutex for a couple of years now. I have also been in AA since 1983. When I began sobriety I stopped drinking and detoxed from a 200mg a day methadone program. At the time, in NJ, the only thing they gave you was clonidine for withdrawls. That is a blood pressure med. You get so weak you c, an't stand. Anyway, it was a hard detox with nightmarish sleep from placidil and wet sheets from night sweats on a plastic covered mattress. The first couple of months I couldn't believe I didn't have to go to the clinic for my methadone fix. I had been doing so for ten years and being away from it was a dream come true. I equate it with doing a long prison sentence and finally being set free.
    When I got into AA through some childhood friend I met a woman, we married, had a daughter. I reached the 18 year mark of my sobriety, and the seventeenth year of the marriage. This was sobriety with no meds, I loved the freedom and the life I had.
    There are people in AA who take meds for all kinds of reasons. If I was on methadone, I wouldn't consider myself sober; however, time, a bad back, interferon therapy and a wife who seemed to grow apart from me and I ended up in a rehab for pain meds in Florida. I felt I could kick it anytime, pain pills were nothing to methadone. My personality was becoming explosive, negative, hypersensitive after forty eight weeks of interferon therapy. I no longer enjoyed my sobriety. I was fifty years old. Eventually, I ended up on suboxone after one detox. That was it. I found the miracle drug. It is not so addicting, I feel it is more of a psychological drug for my pain and my mind. I go to meetings. I know people who take one percocet a day, well at this point in my life, AA and subutex go well together. If I really wanted out I would, as in methadone I did when my first son was born. Now I have now reason to think I am not sober. When the mind becomes counter productive and pain seems intolerable, subutex gives me the lift, hope and faith I need, along with meetings, I am complete. Furthermore, no one in AA or NA can make me crazy anymore! I have a cushion I needed much. From my years of no meds, I developed hypertension and blood pressure that nearly caused me a stroke. I don't have to worry about that anymore. Life is easy now, happy and free. No more, no less than any of the hard liners in AA or NA. My wife was one, that is why we are not together. Kew, stay on the subutex for as long as you like. Share as much as you like at meetings. It is not about them, it is between you and God. And the wonderful thing about subutex is you can't abuse it, nor overdose on it. The want for other drugs will linger, but hang in, it passes. Best, joel

     
    Old 09-01-2010, 05:33 PM   #88
    kewood
    Senior Member
    (female)
     
    kewood's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jun 2009
    Location: Juneau, AK
    Posts: 112
    kewood HB User
    Re: Can I be in "recovery" while taking Suboxone?

    Hi Joel,
    Thanks so much for your kind words and encouragement. I may try to go to meetings again, I've been feeling alienated and isolated trying to "do this" all by myself. I'm currently on 12mg of Subutex and have been on it for 15 months now. I'm kind of past the point of feeling guilty for being on it and know that it's something I need in my life right now to keep me fairly stable and working my recovery program. I can't bear the thought of trying to struggle and go off of it, not now, I'm just not feeling strong enough to take on that challenge and I don't feel as doubtful about being "in sobriety" as I did in the beginning. I think you are right, this journey, my sobriety, it's between me and a higher power, and nobody else. I don't have to answer to anybody else's judgement of me and what I do or don't do to stay sober and not using my drug of choice. I live in a very small community where everyone seems to know everyone and sometimes the AA or NA meetings really can get like a big disfunctional family! Well, I appreciate your story and your own struggle. It gives me hope to hear that people who are not so different from me and who share similar struggles can feel happy and free. I sure hope to be there someday. I can't make it happen and do believe it will happen in time so I will just patiently wait and work my recovery in the best way I can and perhaps one day will wake up feeling just a little lighter and a little happier...then I can truly have hope. Not that I don't have hope right now, it's just a time in my life when the rollercoaster is down low and I'm waiting for it to come on back up....thanks for writing! You made my day! Take care, Joel.

    KEW

     
    Old 09-02-2010, 02:27 AM   #89
    ilovebikes07
    Junior Member
    (female)
     
    ilovebikes07's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jun 2010
    Posts: 36
    ilovebikes07 HB User
    Re: Can I be in "recovery" while taking Suboxone?

    Hi Karen and Iain
    Sounds like you both doing pretty good. Karen what Iain says is sooo true. Its our heads that do us in everytime if we let it. How I deal with a borderline personality disorder which is all kinds of stuffed up thoughts etc in my head telling me what to do I am learning that the only way I can stay in control is to not let my mind get the better of me I choose to stay in control and change my thinking. Not easy but can be done. The battlefield is definetly in the mind. CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) is very effective for this.
    I have two dogs a 60kg Ridgeback 3 yr old and an American Staffy 12 mths old. I also have three cats two of which are siamese the remenents of my teenage daughter who no longer lives at home. I love them all to pieces they are great therapy. Especially the dogs who just love you unconditionally no matter what. Sometimes when I am struggling to stay in touch with reality one of them will come up to me and just sit with me like they know I need a hand right then. Its pretty awesome. I want to be honest with you guys and make myself accountable, the past few weeks I have not been completely clean. No opiates but been smoking I find it helps calm my thoughts down and it also helps me not to disassociate whcih is part of my personality disorder. My friend says that she is seeing the same old addictive patterns returning,and that I am just running again, I know she is probably right but I recon it cant really hurt can it? Need some feedback from you. I never had a big issue with it in the past Opiates and benzos always been my first choice. Would really appreciate your thoughts.
    Tks
    Kim
    ILB

     
    Old 09-02-2010, 04:07 AM   #90
    JustinsPrincess
    Newbie
    (female)
     
    JustinsPrincess's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Sep 2010
    Location: Clermont,Florida
    Posts: 5
    JustinsPrincess HB User
    Smile Re: Can I be in "recovery" while taking Suboxone?

    I often wonder the same thing I've been on soboxne for about 4 months and was addicted to opiates for 3 yrs. I have slipped up alot a few times that the doctor didn't want to see me but he gave me another chance. And like you the cravings are miniumal now but I still think about it often. I always have been active and now I can't roll out of the bed without a piece of soboxne it's like I'm still depending on something to make it thru the day. So I'm like u will I ever be done fir good with everything

    I have a question. I've been on Suboxone for 2 months now after a 2 year affair with Norco 10mg, 15-20 pills daily. I feel much better and the cravings have been minimal, but the psychological cravings are still very much there depending on the day and my frame of mind.
    I've been struggling internally with everything I'm reading about suboxone vs. tapering vs. cold turkey vs. rehab, detox, AA/NA.....I've read to stay away from suboxone b/c it's an evil drug that just keeps you addicted and is so hard to get off of. I've also read it's a miracle drug and has saved people's lives. I've read that it's terrible to stay on it longer than a few weeks and that it's fine to be on it long term if that's what it takes.
    For me, personally, it's the only way I could have gotten off of the hydro. I was too scared. I had gone thru hydro and ativan withdrawls in rehab, I was in detox for 5 days with a minimal amt of Librium, and it was a nightmare. In fact, up to 3 months post-inpatient treatment, I was still waking up with mind-numbing panic and terror and felt suicidal every day and was terrfied to take anything for fear of getting "addicted" to that and having to go through the whole ordeal again. Well, I did get over that with time and intensive out patient treament plus a change in medication: went from Prozac to Effexor and Ativan to Trazadone which became very effective for the dreaded morning anxiety/panic and was able to get off of the Trazadone easily.
    Anyway, back to this time.....so I have a great psychiatrist who's also an addiction medicine specialist who told me about his suboxone program when I finally came clean. I was scared at first but felt it was my only option.
    I've been grateful for having it and avoiding the pain and anxiety for the most part. It's allowed me to be at work and function relatively normally. One of the problems I'm having is sleep. I have trouble getting to sleep, jerk awake many times during the night, have intensely vivid dreams and feel like I can't get up in the mornings. Sometimes I've been very groggy and fallen asleep at work and friends have even approached me and asked me if I'm "on something". Funny thing is, when I was on hydro, I was functioning well and nobody suspected anything, now I'm off of it and people are questioning if I'm on drugs! Well, I suppose I am but not the life threatening drug that was robbing me of everything.
    This brings me back to the original question. Can I be in recovery or working a recovery program while taking suboxone. Is it really just substituting a pill for a pill? Is it helping to heal my brain? It's definitely doing something because I've cried so much in the last two months and I've FELT so much of the feelings I had blocked out with the hydro for so many years. Those uncomfortable feelings are so hard for me to handle. I know if I went off of the sub now, I'd run right back to my Norcos because I've not yet learned how to deal with my feelings which scare me so much!
    I'm also feeling really alone in this....I've been to AA and NA and do not feel welcome once I say that i'm on suboxone. I'm told that I am still taking an opiate and can't be clean and sober or in recovery until I'm taking NOTHING...well, does that mean I have to go off my antidepressants and mood stabilizers for a condition that I was diagnosed with long before I ever even touched an opiate? I'm just not comfortable in that environment with feeling like I'm not in recovery because I'm on the suboxone. I can't do it alone and I know a pill is not enough for recovery but I'm having such a hard time finding a supportive, understanding, non-judgemental group. This internet group is really all I have and a few friend who know what's going on but who have never been through this mess....
    I'm curious as to what some of you think as addicts, recovering addicts, suboxone users and supporters and those of you who think suboxone is a crutch and just prolongs an addiction or replaces one. I know that eventually, I need to decide what is right for me but I have so many questions, doubts, fears.....I feel so alone in this journey.....

    thanks for listening,
    kew[/QUOTE]
    __________________
    Jenna
    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

     
    Closed Thread

    Related Topics
    Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
    Suboxone...Is this normal or "routine"??? tiredone47 Addiction & Recovery 11 07-12-2008 10:58 AM
    To "Reachout" - Xanax, Oxycontin, Suboxone - How to Help a Friend Friend999 Addiction & Recovery 9 02-12-2008 01:50 PM
    Suboxone...I need "success stories" including tapering off Giants20 Addiction & Recovery 37 09-23-2007 03:35 PM
    Smoking "ice" everyday for 3-4 mos. Scared for our health but too addicted.. NdInfoPls Addiction & Recovery 10 09-04-2006 10:07 PM
    Barium Enema "recovery" bopper Bowel Disorders 1 01-27-2006 12:19 PM
    frustrated about my "recovery" firewtr38 Eating Disorder Recovery 4 11-29-2005 09:35 PM
    Quick LPR "recovery"--then relapse--what does this mean? vintagegirl Acid Reflux / GERD 2 07-27-2005 02:51 PM




    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Search this Thread:

    Advanced Search

    Posting Rules
    You may not post new threads
    You may not post replies
    You may not post attachments
    You may not edit your posts

    BB code is On
    Smilies are On
    [IMG] code is Off
    HTML code is On
    Trackbacks are Off
    Pingbacks are Off
    Refbacks are Off




    Sign Up Today!

    Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

    I want my free account

    All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:04 AM.





    © 2020 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
    Do not copy or redistribute in any form!