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    Old 11-21-2010, 12:52 AM   #121
    halfwaythere99
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    Re: Can I be in "recovery" while taking Suboxone?

    Yes you can. Suboxone is a major part of my recovery and it is absolutely not a replacement for what I used, heroin and cocaine in large amounts. You will have trouble for a while, it's called POST ACUTE WITHDRAWAL SYNDROME or PAWS. It makes life a little less than fun, but it will pass. I know it is hard adjusting back to life after being numb for so long but it is well worth the reward, your LIFE. Please keep taking the subs and keep going to treatment. It will get better and you won't die or end up in prison like so many people I know did. Good luck man.

     
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    Old 11-21-2010, 08:06 AM   #122
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    Re: Can I be in "recovery" while taking Suboxone?

    Cliff notes? Hey just wanted to see how you are doing.

    I will say I made a mistake staying on suboxone for longer than I had to (1 year) and it was just like I was addictied to OC. My advice is get on sub and taper off fast. Dont stay on longer than 1-2 months.

     
    Old 11-22-2010, 12:52 AM   #123
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    Thumbs up Re: Can I be in "recovery" while taking Suboxone?

    Hi Iain
    Hey great to hear from you. I was only thinking of you both recently and thought must say hi. Well good to hear you are well and going strong. Is it nearly the end of the study year for you? I am going pretty well. Back at work after four weeks leave and in my business it gets very busy towards christmas. I work in a youth prison. The all seem to want to come home for christmas. The last time we spoke I wasnt doing so good and I had my dose increased. So am doing much better now. I try not to think about the fact that I am still an addict or recovering addict as long as I have to take something., All I know is that I am a hell of a lot better than I was 6 months ago. Good luck with all your exams and well done.
    take care
    kim

     
    Old 11-22-2010, 12:58 AM   #124
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    Re: Can I be in "recovery" while taking Suboxone?

    Hi Karen
    How are you my friend? Have not heard from you for ages. Has the new medication worked. My doctor is looking at trying me on cymbalta. Not too sure if I want to take another anti depressant. I am nowhere near as bad as I was I just have fluctuating moods. My increased dose of subutex to 6mgs is working well. I have had a few moments where I just wanted to throw it all in but I have pushed through and keep reminding myself of how far I have come. I really hope you are doing much better and getting a chance to ride? Its been wet wet wet here so not alot of riding happening. Are you still taking the subs? Oh forgot to mention my news that my son informed me he is getting married next year. This is amazing for a young man who only 12 months ago was so very ill with Bi-Polar and drug addiction. I am so proud of him. Take care and talk soon
    Kim

     
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    Old 11-22-2010, 06:31 AM   #125
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    Re: Can I be in "recovery" while taking Suboxone?

    [QUOTE=ilovebikes07;4627913][COLOR=Hi Iain
    Hey great to hear from you. I was only thinking of you both recently and thought must say hi. Well good to hear you are well and going strong. Is it nearly the end of the study year for you? I am going pretty well. Back at work after four weeks leave and in my business it gets very busy towards christmas. I work in a youth prison. The all seem to want to come home for christmas. The last time we spoke I wasnt doing so good and I had my dose increased. So am doing much better now. I try not to think about the fact that I am still an addict or recovering addict as long as I have to take something., All I know is that I am a hell of a lot better than I was 6 months ago. Good luck with all your exams and well done.
    take care
    kim[/QUOTE]
    Heh Kim Am really glad your feeling a wee bit better than the last time we spoke, forget about the fact that you may have to take medication to feel better, in my opinion your better off dropping that label of being an addict whether in recovery or not and recognising the person beneath.
    I used to go to N.A meetings and thats all i ever heard was that i was an addict and that i was powerless, if you continue to tell your self your an addict there`s a chance you might revert back to it. Am not saying N.A does`nt work cause it does it just does`nt work for me anymore, i`ll never forget that am an addict, i just don`t feel the need to remind myself every day. So i guess what am trying to say is RECOGNISE THE REAL YOU, i mean i don`t know you that well but i`d bet vital parts of my anatomy of the fact that you`ve got many many good points and many many good things going on in your life and don`t you forget it. Ye see i got caught up in a wee story there tae answer yer first quere, i am almost finished college for the christmas break, spending it up the road in Aberdeen with my family but alway like to get back hame tae my wee flat in Glasgow for new year. You take care. Iain.

     
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    Old 11-22-2010, 12:22 PM   #126
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    Re: Can I be in "recovery" while taking Suboxone?

    Hello there Kim & Iain,
    I'm doing ok these days. My meds and my meditation have helped my depression immensely. I'm still on the 4mg of Subutex and seem to be doing well so I may take the leap downward to 2mg. but not until after the stress of the holidays. I took a short trip back to NY to visit my parents and had a nice time. When I arrived home in Alaska afterwards though, I went into a huge state of anxiety and panic. I have no idea what in the world triggered it, it just took on a life of its own. It was like a severe panic attack but it lasted for almost a week, non stop! I would get short periods of relief but other than that I was in a state of not being able to cope or function much at all. I even ended up going to the ER for chest pains and trouble breathing. They found that one of my heart stress enzymes was high so they kept me in overnight. Turned out my heart was fine it was just this friggin' nasty panic an anxiety that wouldn't give me a break! I talked to my psych doc and he thought maybe my mixture of meds, Cymbalta & Ritalin were too stimulating, even though I'd been doing just fine for the past 4-6 weeks. He said maybe it just caught up with itself so he reduced the cymbalta, gave me some Klonopin for a couple of weeks and we're seeing how that goes. I just feel like I get these unconcious triggers from trauma that's happened in the past, even though I can't identify what it is at the time, then my stress hormones & response goes sky high, it is NOT FUN!! But, today is a better day and I'm just trying to take it day by day for now. Thanks for listening to that novel of craziness.....it sounds like you both are doing well. Great for you Iain that school is almost out for the semester and you're busy and doing well. Kim, I'm glad you've been able to push yourself through those hard times and realize that what you are doing for yourself is the best gift you can give to you. It is hard, this past week I was thinking, "why is it that I felt most stable when I was on opiates all the time?" I just wanted to feel that again but I know it's not reality, it's just numbing all of these feelings that need to get out and keep building up, I'm sure that's why I'm going through all of this now, because those years of drugs just kept stuffing and keeping all of my fears, anxieties and stresses in some dark corner of my mind where they couldn't be accessed. I'm actually working with a guy who does Somatic Experience. Have either of you ever heard of it? Its working with past traumas that are stuck in our bodies and using body awareness and sensation to help release those energies in a slow and safe way. So far we've not done anything too intense, just gotten in touch with how my body feels at different times and when I conciously relax. I'm really excited about it though and think he is a very safe and talented individual.
    Well, enough about me. What are you all doing for the holidays? Any travel plans? I know you're going to visit family Iain, how about you, Kim? I hope you two continue to do well and stay happy and healthy. Even though we don't "talk" often, I think of the two of you all of the time and the suggestions you have given me when I'm struggling. It has helped so very much. I truly am thankfull for the two of you this Thanksgiving!! Take care and happy holidays!

    Karen

     
    Old 11-23-2010, 10:40 AM   #127
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    Re: Can I be in "recovery" while taking Suboxone?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by kewood View Post
    Hello there Kim & Iain,
    I'm doing ok these days. My meds and my meditation have helped my depression immensely. I'm still on the 4mg of Subutex and seem to be doing well so I may take the leap downward to 2mg. but not until after the stress of the holidays. I took a short trip back to NY to visit my parents and had a nice time. When I arrived home in Alaska afterwards though, I went into a huge state of anxiety and panic. I have no idea what in the world triggered it, it just took on a life of its own. It was like a severe panic attack but it lasted for almost a week, non stop! I would get short periods of relief but other than that I was in a state of not being able to cope or function much at all. I even ended up going to the ER for chest pains and trouble breathing. They found that one of my heart stress enzymes was high so they kept me in overnight. Turned out my heart was fine it was just this friggin' nasty panic an anxiety that wouldn't give me a break! I talked to my psych doc and he thought maybe my mixture of meds, Cymbalta & Ritalin were too stimulating, even though I'd been doing just fine for the past 4-6 weeks. He said maybe it just caught up with itself so he reduced the cymbalta, gave me some Klonopin for a couple of weeks and we're seeing how that goes. I just feel like I get these unconcious triggers from trauma that's happened in the past, even though I can't identify what it is at the time, then my stress hormones & response goes sky high, it is NOT FUN!! But, today is a better day and I'm just trying to take it day by day for now. Thanks for listening to that novel of craziness.....it sounds like you both are doing well. Great for you Iain that school is almost out for the semester and you're busy and doing well. Kim, I'm glad you've been able to push yourself through those hard times and realize that what you are doing for yourself is the best gift you can give to you. It is hard, this past week I was thinking, "why is it that I felt most stable when I was on opiates all the time?" I just wanted to feel that again but I know it's not reality, it's just numbing all of these feelings that need to get out and keep building up, I'm sure that's why I'm going through all of this now, because those years of drugs just kept stuffing and keeping all of my fears, anxieties and stresses in some dark corner of my mind where they couldn't be accessed. I'm actually working with a guy who does Somatic Experience. Have either of you ever heard of it? Its working with past traumas that are stuck in our bodies and using body awareness and sensation to help release those energies in a slow and safe way. So far we've not done anything too intense, just gotten in touch with how my body feels at different times and when I conciously relax. I'm really excited about it though and think he is a very safe and talented individual.
    Well, enough about me. What are you all doing for the holidays? Any travel plans? I know you're going to visit family Iain, how about you, Kim? I hope you two continue to do well and stay happy and healthy. Even though we don't "talk" often, I think of the two of you all of the time and the suggestions you have given me when I'm struggling. It has helped so very much. I truly am thankfull for the two of you this Thanksgiving!! Take care and happy holidays!

    Karen
    Heh Karen good tae hear fae ye, try not tae worry about yer anxiety attacks the more ye worry about them the more frequent they will occur, yer right all thats happening is that your emotionally defrosting after years of mental suppresion, it can all come back in waves some more severe than the rest. These are things am still trying to get back to how i used to feel emotionally before i started on that path of destruction that is the drugs. I don`t get to write as often as i`d like busy with college work at the moment. But anyway please take care and i`ll write again soon. Iain.

     
    Old 12-13-2010, 03:52 AM   #128
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    Re: Can I be in "recovery" while taking Suboxone?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by kewood View Post
    Hello there Kim & Iain,
    I'm doing ok these days. My meds and my meditation have helped my depression immensely. I'm still on the 4mg of Subutex and seem to be doing well so I may take the leap downward to 2mg. but not until after the stress of the holidays. I took a short trip back to NY to visit my parents and had a nice time. When I arrived home in Alaska afterwards though, I went into a huge state of anxiety and panic. I have no idea what in the world triggered it, it just took on a life of its own. It was like a severe panic attack but it lasted for almost a week, non stop! I would get short periods of relief but other than that I was in a state of not being able to cope or function much at all. I even ended up going to the ER for chest pains and trouble breathing. They found that one of my heart stress enzymes was high so they kept me in overnight. Turned out my heart was fine it was just this friggin' nasty panic an anxiety that wouldn't give me a break! I talked to my psych doc and he thought maybe my mixture of meds, Cymbalta & Ritalin were too stimulating, even though I'd been doing just fine for the past 4-6 weeks. He said maybe it just caught up with itself so he reduced the cymbalta, gave me some Klonopin for a couple of weeks and we're seeing how that goes. I just feel like I get these unconcious triggers from trauma that's happened in the past, even though I can't identify what it is at the time, then my stress hormones & response goes sky high, it is NOT FUN!! But, today is a better day and I'm just trying to take it day by day for now. Thanks for listening to that novel of craziness.....it sounds like you both are doing well. Great for you Iain that school is almost out for the semester and you're busy and doing well. Kim, I'm glad you've been able to push yourself through those hard times and realize that what you are doing for yourself is the best gift you can give to you. It is hard, this past week I was thinking, "why is it that I felt most stable when I was on opiates all the time?" I just wanted to feel that again but I know it's not reality, it's just numbing all of these feelings that need to get out and keep building up, I'm sure that's why I'm going through all of this now, because those years of drugs just kept stuffing and keeping all of my fears, anxieties and stresses in some dark corner of my mind where they couldn't be accessed. I'm actually working with a guy who does Somatic Experience. Have either of you ever heard of it? Its working with past traumas that are stuck in our bodies and using body awareness and sensation to help release those energies in a slow and safe way. So far we've not done anything too intense, just gotten in touch with how my body feels at different times and when I conciously relax. I'm really excited about it though and think he is a very safe and talented individual.
    Well, enough about me. What are you all doing for the holidays? Any travel plans? I know you're going to visit family Iain, how about you, Kim? I hope you two continue to do well and stay happy and healthy. Even though we don't "talk" often, I think of the two of you all of the time and the suggestions you have given me when I'm struggling. It has helped so very much. I truly am thankfull for the two of you this Thanksgiving!! Take care and happy holidays!

    Karen
    Heh Karen how`s life treating ye?just thought i`d keep in touch cause it`s been a wee while since i wrote last, hopefully ye`ve been managing to deal with any anxiety problems that may have come up since ye got hame fae visiting yer folks in the big orange, i mean apple,thats what i hope anyway, and do ye know what i`ve got the copyright on crazyness but am quit happy about that because thats what makes us all individuals would`nt ye just hate to be the same as so called normal people, how can anyone truely be sane in an insane world? I have my doubts! I can`t even begin to tell you how cold it is here at the moment like -8 during the day but i guess it`s the time of year. Just incase i don`t get a chance gonna do me a favour and enjoy the festive and break in the new year gently. Your very long distant friend Iain. Here`s a wee picture of myself so ye can put a face to the crazy comments or if ye really want ye can print it out and pin it on yer dartboard and use it for target practiceAttachment 432 Oop`s my mistake!Me and Justin.jpg although the similarities between the two pictures is uncanny. Take Care.

    Last edited by IainDonald; 12-13-2010 at 04:25 AM. Reason: missed something out

     
    Old 12-13-2010, 04:15 AM   #129
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    Re: Can I be in "recovery" while taking Suboxone?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by ilovebikes07 View Post
    Hi Karen
    How are you my friend? Have not heard from you for ages. Has the new medication worked. My doctor is looking at trying me on cymbalta. Not too sure if I want to take another anti depressant. I am nowhere near as bad as I was I just have fluctuating moods. My increased dose of subutex to 6mgs is working well. I have had a few moments where I just wanted to throw it all in but I have pushed through and keep reminding myself of how far I have come. I really hope you are doing much better and getting a chance to ride? Its been wet wet wet here so not alot of riding happening. Are you still taking the subs? Oh forgot to mention my news that my son informed me he is getting married next year. This is amazing for a young man who only 12 months ago was so very ill with Bi-Polar and drug addiction. I am so proud of him. Take care and talk soon
    Kim
    Heh Kim just checking in incase ye thought i`d ran away and joined the forieign legion, NOT YET, How`s the mood swing`s? Still i wee bit like a rollercoaster ride; one minute up, next minute down, then upside down, will it ever end? who knows? I often feel like am tied into a rollercoaster with a staight jacket on just tae keep me warm and cosy in my own crazy little world I`ve kind`ve accepted that i will always be emotionally unbalanced, but i really don`t mind it`s these little things that make me different from anyone else. I can`t even begin to tell you how cold it is here at the moment -8 yesterday (sunday 12th Dec) during the day i don`t think it could get any colder well i hope not anyway, my wee toes thought i`d left them behind somewhere they were that cold. Did i mention i have quit a crazy wee head on top of my shoulders. Am gonna go and leave ye inpeace now incase i don`t get a chance to write before christmas, have a fabolous crimbo and a gentle new year. Your very long distance friend. Iain,Me and Justin.jpgThis is me and my wee mate Justin my friends wee boy now ye can put a face to all the crazy comments. Take Care.

     
    Old 12-13-2010, 08:41 AM   #130
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    Re: Can I be in "recovery" while taking Suboxone?

    hey yall i am new to this board and am not even sure if i am posting correctly. I am coming off oxycodone slowly and reading up on lots of things for moral support. I honestly think that the pill addiction is just as bad as the pain it was prescribed for.

     
    Old 12-13-2010, 09:54 AM   #131
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    Re: Can I be in "recovery" while taking Suboxone?

    Hey guys,
    I'm ok..I've actually left my job as a child protection social worker. Today is my last day. < edited >
    I think 8.5 years of this work has really contributed to my mental health issues and expecially the anxiety & depression so I'm taking some time off for myself and to heal and try to find out what my next steps in life will be....I'm terrified but somewhat excited under all of the fear. I need to learn how to get the fear out of the way without taking a pill cuz that's exactly what I want to do!
    How are y'all? Hope your holidays are great and you are both doing well and staying healthy and happy. I'll try to check in more frequently now that I'll be a stay at home mom! YIKES! Love you both!

    Karen

    Last edited by hb-mod; 12-13-2010 at 12:17 PM. Reason: Please don't post personal info such as real name, email or phone.

     
    Old 12-13-2010, 09:56 AM   #132
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    Re: Can I be in "recovery" while taking Suboxone?

    Iain,
    I just love this quote from you:

    " I`ve kind`ve accepted that i will always be emotionally unbalanced, but i really don`t mind it`s these little things that make me different from anyone else."

    I can so relate and it makes it way eaisier to accept myself the way I am. Cute picture by the way!!

    K.

     
    Old 12-14-2010, 02:13 AM   #133
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    Re: Can I be in "recovery" while taking Suboxone?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by kewood View Post
    Iain,
    I just love this quote from you:

    " I`ve kind`ve accepted that i will always be emotionally unbalanced, but i really don`t mind it`s these little things that make me different from anyone else."

    I can so relate and it makes it way eaisier to accept myself the way I am. Cute picture by the way!!

    K.
    Believe it sister! you are who you are because thats who you area wee bit confussing but i believe to be true. Au Revior!

     
    Old 12-15-2010, 05:00 AM   #134
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    Re: Can I be in "recovery" while taking Suboxone?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by oxygirl View Post
    hey yall i am new to this board and am not even sure if i am posting correctly. I am coming off oxycodone slowly and reading up on lots of things for moral support. I honestly think that the pill addiction is just as bad as the pain it was prescribed for.
    Heh oxygirl my name is Iain i live in a far off place called Glasgow Scotland, your probably right the pill addiction can at times seem worse than the pain it`s prescibed for, it`s a balancing act you have to keep an eye on whether taking yer pills has a positive or negative effect on your wellbeing once it starts becoming negative you may have to explore other pain relief remede`s, am no expert i`ve been through it though with regards to coming off a methadone script i`ve been free of the green death (meth) for over 6 months now it all depend on the kind`ve pain your in. You also need to keep an eye on yer chity chity bang bang (yer head) cause yer head will eventually tell you you can`t survive without your pain relief thats when you`ll begin to swap one problem for another. One thing you must try and keep in you head is that no matter how lonely you may feel at times your never alone even when it comes to a crazyScotsman identifying with what you are going through. We are driven by fear but it`s not what we fear the most that has the hold over us, it`s the fear itself. Feel free to write back or ignore i don`t have direct access to the interweb but i will always reply eventually. Do me one favour please and take care. Iain.

     
    Old 12-15-2010, 01:14 PM   #135
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    Re: Can I be in "recovery" while taking Suboxone?

    Dear Iain, Scotland, wow that must be an amazing place. I hear it is beautiful anyways. My daughter's best friend, her mother is from there and it is funny because my daughter is from south carolina and has a very pronounced southern accent and when she gets mad she says "I bloody well will" or some other such phrase. lol. I am glad to hear the words of encouragement. I am getting injections next month in my neck and shoulders. But you are right about the argument going on in my head. It is driving me nuts! I just got my script and I am determined to cut down and try the taper. I have horrible neck pain so I am not doing as well as I originally planned. I am cutting the pills in half and trying to take 60mg daily instead of 120. I may have to go up to 75 though. Hopefully next month after the injections I can taper further. I hate laying on a bed hurting and wide awake but not being able to do much. I guess the oxys kept me in a fog. I didn't realize cause i slept so much. It is crazy. But thank you again for your encouraging words.

     
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