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  • Keeping older sibling out of baby's crib

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    Old 07-20-2011, 06:11 PM   #1
    LauraLu
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    Keeping older sibling out of baby's crib

    Here I go again with my crazy children!

    My almost 4 year old daughter looooves her baby brother (6 months)...this is a good thing! I'm not complaining in that department!

    However, she takes the "love" to the extreme. Since Benjamin was about 3 months old, Madeline has started crawling into his crib with him. We have a two bedroom townhouse, so the two of them share a room. I have caught her on a few occasions doing this. I usually just take her out, tell her a firm "no" and then tell her what she should be doing ("get back in your bed").

    She knows she is not allowed to do this, but she just doesn't seem to care. Today, I put them both down for naps at the same time. About 30 minutes later, Ben is crying, and Madeline is in his crib playing with the mobile. I was so irritated because Ben is not the best sleeper, gets very worked up, and is difficult to try to get back to sleep...ugggh.

    Has anyone else had this problem? I've been putting Ben down on our bed at night time and transitioning him to the crib before I go to bed. I don't want to keep doing this, because he rolls around A LOT. I don't like the idea of keeping him on the bed (not to mention him waking and wondering how he got to the crib, lol).

    Ideas?
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    Old 07-20-2011, 09:22 PM   #2
    katlin09
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    Re: Keeping older sibling out of baby's crib

    Actually another concern for this is it can be dangerous, your older daughter could accidently smother her little brother. When you have both kids in the same room it's hard to control. Have you considered moving the babie's crib into your bedroom? At least until he's 1 or 11/2 and can fend more for himself. I realize this isn't the ideal answer but with limited space you have to do whatever is needed to keep your child safe. You could still let him spend some time in your daughters room to play, maybe for tummy time or in an exersaucer, so your daughter doesn't feel left out. The only other thing I can think of would be a screen top to fit on the top of the crib, I've seen them on the internet before.

    Hope you get some good response and suggestions, Iknow this must be driving you a bit nuts, it's hard enough having 2 youngsters that young.

    kat

     
    Old 07-21-2011, 12:17 PM   #3
    marisuela
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    Re: Keeping older sibling out of baby's crib

    Have you tried actually disciplining your daughter? A firm NO is okay for minor things, but in a situation where she is placing herself and your baby in danger, more than just NO is needed.

    I'm not a big believer in spanking, but I do think spanking has it's place. When a child is putting themselves or others in danger, a spanking is appropriate. Situations like yours, where your baby is in danger, meet that criteria.

    If you are absolutely opposed to the idea of spanking, at least put her in time out each time she does it.

    Along with the spanking or the time out, a good firm lecture of WHY we don't get into the baby's bed is in order. Tell her how dangerous it is for her baby brother. Tell her how much baby needs his sleep and how she is keeping him from getting any sleep. Tell her how babies without sleep are cranky and hard to deal with and take all of mommy's time, thus taking mommy's time away from her. Tell her how cranky babies lead to cranky mommies and cranky mommies are no fun, thus affecting her day. At almost 4, she is plenty old enough to understand.

    Whatever you do, be consistent with it.

    Last summer, when my 3 girls temporarily shared a room, I actually started locking my 2 year old in our closet on a cot (walmart sells these fabulous folding cots that are so nice) at nap and bed time. It's ventilated, and has an outlet for a nightlight, so it's not like I was being cruel to her or anything.... it's just that she wouldn't stay in her bed when her sisters were in the same room. She hated the closet, though, and after two or three naps in there, she straightened up and stayed in her own bed. We occasionally have to revisit the closet for a nap now and then, but just the threat of knowing what will come is enough to keep her in her bed now.

    Hope this helps!

     
    Old 08-18-2011, 02:32 PM   #4
    SadComputerGuy
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    Re: Keeping older sibling out of baby's crib

    LauraLu-
    I can definitely relate to this problem. My now 6 year old daughter used to do the same thing when her brother was born 2 years ago. She loved getting in the crib and "playing" with the baby. They weren't sleeping in the same room so it wasn't that big of a deal, we could basically just separate the two of them. In your case maybe you need to do just that, move the baby crib into your room for a couple of months.

    More than likely your daughter is doing this because she is jealous of the attention the baby is getting. Also girls seem to really have a maternal instinct, even at a very young age, and love to take care of things. Maybe during the day you could give her some basic jobs to help out with the baby, nothing that could hurt the baby of course, but get her involved more and also to give her attention. Also make sure you set aside time each time for just her, it could be as simple as putting a sticker on her nose or reading her a book.

    Does she have her own dolls and a doll crib? Maybe try to redirect her maternal instinct and desire to help to the dolls. Have her put the dolls to bed and she can even keep the crib in her bed, as long as she doesnt get in the real crib.

     
    Old 08-18-2011, 04:51 PM   #5
    katlin09
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    Re: Keeping older sibling out of baby's crib

    For the most part I agree with all the other posters, and hope you have found a solution and gotten some peace of mind.

    HOWEVER, locking a child in any room, or a closet is incredibly wrong on so many levels. This could lead to trauma in your child as I'm sure she doesn't willingly walk into the closet while you lock her in?????? Spanking in children this young is a proven method, a good firm swat on the behind, can have a lasting impression as to what is not allowed.

    But sorry, I just could not and don't know anyone who would, lock their child in a closet, no matter the reason.

    Kat

     
    Old 08-22-2011, 10:22 AM   #6
    marisuela
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    Re: Keeping older sibling out of baby's crib

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by katlin09 View Post
    For the most part I agree with all the other posters, and hope you have found a solution and gotten some peace of mind.

    HOWEVER, locking a child in any room, or a closet is incredibly wrong on so many levels. This could lead to trauma in your child as I'm sure she doesn't willingly walk into the closet while you lock her in?????? Spanking in children this young is a proven method, a good firm swat on the behind, can have a lasting impression as to what is not allowed.

    But sorry, I just could not and don't know anyone who would, lock their child in a closet, no matter the reason.

    Kat

    Oh lighten up. There is absolutely nothing wrong with me locking my daughter in the closet when she won't go to sleep in her own bed. It's a large closet (we put the play yard in there on occasion so the baby can nap in peace!), it is ventilated, there is a nightlight, and it's a peaceful quiet, safe place to sleep. I have to lock the door, because it's also a tornado shelter and the door doesn't stay shut otherwise.... plus, I don't want her sneaking out and playing with the things in the other part of the closet, or in my bathroom. I equate it to putting a two year old in a play yard or crib, or putting the baby gate in the doorway for naptime.

    And yes, when she isn't in trouble, she actually does willingly, and happily walk into the closet for naptimes - there are times when her room isn't ideal for napping.... like when her cousins are visiting, or if her sister that she shares her room with is sick, etc. She only hates the closet when she knows it is punishment.... AND what makes it a punishment, is her knowing that she could've slept in her own bed, in her own room, but now she can't.

    What makes any form of discipline traumatic is the way a parent goes about doing it. No matter what, my children absolutely KNOW that I love them.

    Anyway, I know you were just speaking out in defense of my daughter, because you didn't quite understand the situation (I imagine you were thinking of a small, dark, scary closet???), and so I do appreciate you saying something about it.

     
    Old 08-22-2011, 09:53 PM   #7
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    Re: Keeping older sibling out of baby's crib

    First off, don't tell me to lighten up, you don't know me well enough to speak to me like that and I did not appreciate it.

    Second we are all allowed our opinions on this board.

    Third, it can be sugarcoated as much as you want and you can love your daughter from here to the moon, but there is still a traumatic indication as a result of locking a child in a closet. It's not like your putting her in there with a baby gate, so that she can see the outside, you're putting her in a small room and locking the door so that she can't get out. And if your local DSS office new of it, I can assure they would have a major problem with it. But then again, that's just my opinion!

     
    Old 08-24-2011, 11:45 AM   #8
    marisuela
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    Re: Keeping older sibling out of baby's crib

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by katlin09 View Post
    First off, don't tell me to lighten up, you don't know me well enough to speak to me like that and I did not appreciate it.

    Second we are all allowed our opinions on this board.

    Third, it can be sugarcoated as much as you want and you can love your daughter from here to the moon, but there is still a traumatic indication as a result of locking a child in a closet. It's not like your putting her in there with a baby gate, so that she can see the outside, you're putting her in a small room and locking the door so that she can't get out. And if your local DSS office new of it, I can assure they would have a major problem with it. But then again, that's just my opinion!
    I apologize if you thought I was being rude. I tell people to lighten up all the time, and it's always meant in jest. I sometimes forget that it doesn't translate through print, though! Sorry about that.

    I do respect your right to your opinion, I just felt like your opinion might be a bit skewed from not knowing all the facts, and I thought maybe you would be more open minded about the idea of the closet.... specifically MY closet, and MY situation, if you had more information.

    Where I'm not at all offended by what you said (I don't know your story, maybe you had a bad closet experience, or know someone who did? I absolutely agree that there are situations in which a closet can be traumatic for a child.... but not all situations, children, or closets are the same!), I really don't want someone else reading your post and deciding that I must be some abusive horrible parent.... because then they would disregard any other advice I might give, and that would be sad, because I do give really good and sound child raising advice most of the time.

    That being said, in my first post on this thread, the closet did sound like a scary and traumatic thing, and a not so smart parent (you know, the ones who give their infant an adult dose of adult medicine, and let their babies play with plastic bags, and give their babies a bottle straight from the microwave, and hold their babies on their laps while they drive.....) might go and throw their kid in a tiny dark scary closet and lock them up there and it would be done in all the wrong ways and yes, that would be traumatic. So in that, maybe I was wrong to offer that advice.

    However.... to defend my position, since the advice was intended for the original poster, Laura Lu (who, by the way, is NOT one of the above mentioned not so smart parents, which is why I gave that advice about the closet in the first place), my daughter is not traumatized by my closet. She willingly goes in there to sleep when she isn't in trouble. Heck, she has asked on several occasions if she can sleep in there, because, again, when she isn't in trouble, she likes it in there. She plays in her own closet in her room. In our playroom upstairs, we even converted on of our storage closets into a play house for the girls to play in. They play in my craft closet, too (though that's one closet I do wish they were afraid of!). My other daughters like to play in my closet too (they lock the door themselves, mind you!). And at this moment, my infant daughter is sleeping peacefully in her play yard in my closet. Not ALL closets are bad. My children aren't afraid of or traumatized by closets. Again, any form of discipline becomes a bad thing when it's handled in a bad way by parents who don't really know what they are doing.

    Last thing.... there are 3 social workers in my kids' summertime play group. They all know me very well, and they know my children very well. They've been to my house many times, and they've all seen the closet. They think the closet is funny.

     
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