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  • Dad lives in a parallel universe.

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    Old 12-28-2012, 12:39 PM   #1
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    Dad lives in a parallel universe.

    My dad with vascular dementia has a recurring delusion that he is not in his home but is in a 'vacation' house that is someplace else, far from his home. Though he lives in southern California, he thinks his current house is in Mexico. He asks me how all his furniture got there, how all his drawers are filled, and mentions that the mirror in the bathroom has a crack in it just like the one in his 'real' house. He asks if they rebuilt the nearby shopping center to be exactly the same as at at his other house and if his barber is in this one too.

    I have learned that vascular dementia has the added gift of hallucinations or delusions. I have even learned to try to go along with these delusions because it is easier than trying to show him how logically this must be the house he has lived in all these years (for instance it has all the measurement lines for his growing grandchildren). I have shown him this and he says that presents a problem, but it doesn't jolt the delusion from his mind.

    The harder parts of keeping up the delusion and the conversation is when he asks questions about how they got all the furniture there--he doesn't remember moving--and how are they going to move it back. Yes, I make up answers on the fly, some of which make little sense and he recognizes they make little sense.

    Since I am trying to get him moved to an assisted living place in the very near future (all of his symptoms seemed to get critical in the past month and this is a hard time of year to get timely Dr. appts, forms filled out by experts, etc.), I am trying to tie his delusions in to his moving soon, while trying not to emphasize that it will be to a different place. I know the move will be traumatic and, at one point, he said he didn't want to move there. I try to tell him not to worry about it today, he isn't moving today or this week. Since he has lots of trouble measuring time, he always thinks this appointment or that occasion is imminent--today or tomorrow usually.

    I don't really have any specific question here. I just need to rant now and then and I tend to get good therapy just by writing it all down. It is good to have a venue where similar compadres exist and might sympathize or have added insights. Thank you all for being here.


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    Old 12-28-2012, 04:19 PM   #2
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    Re: Dad lives in a parallel universe.

    My Mom also has vascular dementia and she also thinks shes in 'Mexico'. Her hallucinations are little kids with no faces and strangers crawling up the curtains or in the corners of the room, and little animals running around. She also sometimes thinks she's on a big boat but not a ship. Sometimes she thinks she turned herself in to the police and that shes in a halfway house. Her stories and conversations can be mind blowing trying to figure out where it all comes from. It is a whole different ball game then just forgetting, which she also does. She'll ask me how her parents are (gone along time), she asks what my dad is doing(gone 14 yrs now). I bought her a blanket and the following week she says she got it at a garage sale yesterday.
    I totally understand what your going thru, I just moved her into an AL beginning of Dec, been a rough road since Sept. My head is still spinning at all this happening but is getting better. You just take it day by day. Prayers and {{{{hugs}}}}
    Deb B

    Old 12-29-2012, 04:39 PM   #3
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    Re: Dad lives in a parallel universe.

    My Mom did the same thing. She wasn't quite as exotic. She just lived in an identical apartment with identical everything in another town. That might have been one of the hardest times. She would be sitting in her apartment where she'd lived for years, with her possessions of a lifetime crying for me to let her go home and back to her things. Once it was sort of cute because she confided in me that "they" had let her go home for a few hours so she "stole" some of her things from the other apartment. In truth, it made it easier when she went into a care facility and couldn't take her stuff. It didn't make any difference because she no longer had it while she actually still did.

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